thinking about last year (2024), during Christmas break lmao π
Can't believe how badly I felt when I was alone for only about a few weeks, not even a month. Just a few weeks. Lol, just away from my small friend group of four and already started to question my gender identity and considering k*ling myself. I'm not even a fucking teenager yet. I'm becoming a Pre-teen this year (2025). I'm not even a fucking teenager and I'm considering ending my life that's not even began yet. What the hell is wrong with me? I should be playing video games with my friends and painting my nails. Not this bull shit. I'm a fucking kid.
And guess what? When my mom found out about how I felt (Which happened by accident), she was great and all, y'know, listened to me and stuff, but then at the end of our conversation, wanna know what she said? "Looks like someone's going through some teen angst!" Like, excuse me? So what if I am, it's probably a part of it, yeah, but also, MOM, that fucking HURT for you to say that. Do you understand that? I WANT TO FUCKING K*LL MYSELF AND YOU JUST SAY, "Looks like someone's having some teen angst! Haha!" Like yeah, hahahaha. I'm su*c*dal, hahaha! So fucking funny! Lol, can't believe I didn't realize before! It's just some silly little teen angst! Obviously!
Anyways, I'ma go watch some videos now, bye bye :3
Just realized that I actually drew TWO?? So uh... Yippee!! :D
I forgot to add his hat and bow tie i guess π€·
Hi! :D
Name: Fern/Mr. Fern/Flint
Pronouns: Any! :3
Smexuality: Pansexual :D
Current obsession: SallyFace/Mouthwashing
Fav animal: Pangolin :3
Fav band: TV girl π€
Fav song: kys (Keep yourself safe) by BRN1NG BRAIN SOUND INDUSTRIES
Pfp made from k9art on picrew!
Also, please keep in mind that I am a minor! I will do some art requests, but I'm not going to draw anything nsfw or suggestive
More detail here! β¬οΈ https://veryc00lsite.straw.page
Just remembered my first panic attack/mental breakdown, lol.
I was at my friend's house (Staying the night), and my friend was downstairs in the basement watching some TV or smt (The basement was a sort of hangout spot that had a couch and TV along with some other stuff), and I was upstairs in their room on my phone.
Eventually I go on AI chat (More specifically Talkie) and swiped through some of the bots, when I eventually got to one that was like, "Man breaks into your house" or smt like that, and I decided to mess around with it as a joke, y'know, like make myself super over powered and beat him up and stuff, WELL.
I did this and all was well, I was beating him up and I think eventually I killed him (Woops π), and after doing so, I think I just started going into deep thought, and that's when it started...
I suddenly just felt really scared and sad at the same time, also angry, I was balling my eyes out as I kept typing out my character beating the junk out of him.
I was starting to associate some stupid ai bot with a sh*tty βss boyfriend my mom had a few years back (Can't remember exactly, but I think it was after 2020), like... Holy fuck. So basically, this fucker was all nice and sh*t, so nice, kind, and a great artist! He even knew how to do tattoos! But... One night was Different.
I don't remember too much (either because it was so long ago or because my brain blocked it out), just main details and a few things my mom said.
I was staying up past my bedtime, playing video games on my phone. When at some point in the night, I heard my mom screaming, I remember her saying "I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM" or something along those lines, and Troy trying to calm her down (Not yelling or telling her to shut up, it was kinda like an older sibling trying to get the younger one to stop crying after hitting them so they don't get in trouble) (Also Troy is the bad boyfriend) He was like "Sh, shh.. hey, calm down..." And my mom was still screaming some things I can't remember, I by this point was shaking and wrapped in my blanket, sitting up right. After hearing this keep going for a little bit longer, I decided to scream, at the top of my lungs (And I remember this part very vividly) "LET GO OF MY MOM!" And, I honestly don't know what happened, but I guess that was enough to distract Troy long enough for my mom to hit him across the face with her keys (Like the queen she is π ) and run to my room, she swung my door open, turned the lights on then, slammed my door shut and locked it.
She told my to call the police, but I was in much of a state of shock and panic to understand what was going on, so she took my phone and called them herself. Can't remember what happened after that.
Can't remember much from that house actually... All I really remember besides the whole incident is that I would draw in my sketchbook and read in the backyard sometimes.
Anyways, thanks for reading my silly little trauma dump! I'ma go do something else now :3
He was probably giving off such 'first fursona' vibes bc he was my first fursona, but we don't talk about that π€