But In My Head, Everything Is Always So Tangled. I Am Such A Damaged Thing.

If take me to church by hozier was a meme.

A Review of the Appreciated - Fic Rec from The Foxhole Court

 I decided to start keeping track of the fics I read and enjoyed, along with some comments of my own. This is only my own personal opinion, but overall I do recommend all those fics. All of them will be Complete, unless I mention otherwise.

Here I start with The Foxhole Court ✧٩(•́⌄•́๑)

The First Breath by nekojita (andreil, 180k)

An AU where Death, aka Neil, is convinced to spend some time playing at being human. Working at the Laughing Fox coffee shop has him meeting ordinary people, as well as less ordinary people.

I really loved this fic so much. Neil failing at being human was hilarious, his friendship with Matt was precious, and the Coffee Thief Andrew was great! Easily one of my favorite. It’s apparently based on the Sandman by Neil Gaiman, but no knowledge of that story is required. I never read it and the fic made perfect sense to me. Not all of the characters are gods, magic or such, but imo they still all have Something Special about them.

Read it for: an endearing Neil trying to understand the appeal of human things such as drinking, eating, watching movies or shopping; an oblivious Neil; Andrew’s intense attraction to Death; express traveling to another country just to have dinner.

Fear No Fall  by Saul (andreil, 81k)

The pirate crew of The Fox find an unexpected treasure in the form of a captured merman named Neil. It might bring them more troubles than riches.

Set as my go-to feelgood read, I’ve read it multiple times and it never disappoints. The universe is rich and well detailed, especially under the sea. The parts in Neil’s pov are entertaining and transcribe the feeling of being from another species pretty well. A good point of this story is that there is absolutely no likeness to The Little Mermaid, which would have been ooc. Instead, it suits the rebel side of the characters.

Read it for: an etherealy beautiful mermaid, a bunch of kids adopt a pet but they have no idea how to care for it, Neil talking to whales and cleaning barnacles-ridden boats, an entertaining travel throuhg the seas.

dangerous magics by SashaSea (SHCombatalade) (andreil, 52k)

The Urban Fantasy AU where Kevin is finally #1, they still fight Riko, Neil rents flat but doesn’t read the line where it specifies a Hellhound comes with it. The dog is Andrew.

Hard to define without spoiling the entire story, this is a fresh breath of air in the world of AU. An overall original setting that gives us fae and magic. I takes some time to really start, so the beginning might be confusing, but I strongly encourage giving it a try, if only for snarky Hellhound Andrew.

Read it for: a new approach of the Urban Fantasy theme, Kevin is still a Drama Queen, a reassuring lack of zoophilia, Neil cooking pasta.

 eyes wide open by jaylocked (jerejean, 13k)

“hi sorry I live below you and I hear your dog running around and barking all the time and– no no it’s fine I was just wondering if I could pet it?” Jeremy first falls in love with the dog, then with its owner.

An incredibly sweet reading. I don’t know what was cuter: the dog, or the men. Also features a cool appearance from Laila and Alvarez as Jeremy’s not quite helpful friends.

Read it for: a dog with a very cliché french name, drunk texting in broken french, unhelpful dating advice, Jean as a painter.

  men, abort mission (that is the silver lining in my cloudy disposition) by quensty (andreil, 2.125 words)

The recorded number of times someone hit on Neil Josten and got nowhere, and the one time Andrew didn’t even have to try. 

It’s a classic I guess, but it’s well written and hilarious. This oblivious Neil is delightfully funny.

Read it for: a Savage Moment, helpless fools attracted to each other, the team as witnesses.

  your crown of thorns holds roses by quensty (andreil, 4.444 words)

Three days after he signs his death sentence to Palmetto State, five after Andrew Minyard sends him flying breathless to the ground, Neil’s gaze snaps to the locker room mirror and stares, frozen, at the word threat scrawled along his spinal cord in terrifying, heavy bold.

This is the AU where your soulmate’s opinion of you gets tatooed on your skin. Effective writting coupled with punch-like settings makes this a one of a kind read. So believable you almost forget it’s an AU.

Read it for: soulmates refusing to be soulmates, an very andrew-like andrew, Neil is one the run, the sweet feeling of andreil being soulmates.

the key to us. by andreil (andreil, 12k)

Three takes on their daily lives: an evolution of Sleeping together, Fighting each other, and Protecting each other.

I had heartburn reading this, I find this series almost perfect. Some daily-life action in the future, but it’s never boring. It’s both intense and fluffy.

Read it for: sweet everyday things, but also intense in character interaction, boys figuring shit up together, a good Healing of the Soul.

     willing to give by seeingrightly (andreil, 5k)

Normally, Andrew is the one who has bad days. 

The one where Neil has a bad day, and they deal with it. A touching piece, that felt very in character. A believable interpretation of Neil’s feelings, while Andrew is There, ever present as his understanding and supporting self for him. Almost bittersweet but somehow by the end, all that was left was pure, positive feelings.

Read it for: a bag of neatly packed feels, a how-to manual on handling them, quiet time together.

time will tell by Saul (general with background andreil, 8k)

In which the Foxes become parents too young, and Neil is truly just fine. Neil is somehow, suddenly, eight year old.

An interesting take on Neil’s childhood, with the added bonus of the foxes interacting with a child. I think this might be the most civil Aaron has ever been toward Neil in. Some are better at handling a child than others, and it’s surprising.

Read it for: a cute young Neil, an heartbreakingly scarred young Neil, unsurprising temper-tantrums, a lost Wymack, having your heart burned to ashes by how pure a child is.

Five Things Neil Was Surprised To Enjoy by moonix (andreil, 3.989 words)

Five things Neil was surprised to enjoy, and one thing he wasn’t surprised to discover he still didn’t.

Don’t let it fool you, there is only pure sweetness here. Several moments of Neil discovering the wonders of life, it’ll definitely leave you smiling.

Read it for: Neil eats a sweet (almost unbelievable), Nicky’s bad influence on Andrew’s boyfriend, catching up after a life on the run.

Watch "AURORA - Runaway. (Lyrics)." on YouTube

This reminds me of Neil Abram Josten.

Blue: what are we having?

Gansey: Existential crisis.

Blue: I was talking about dinner.

I wonder if i kill you.. Would it be considered animal abuse or a felony?

So, some of you think that leo needed to be more ANGRY? And FERAL? And needed to go berserk AND needed to vent out on his crew mates for them being in a relationships and stuff? You know what I think? NO. A big fat NO. here's why? Leo had to see his mother DIE at the age of 8(which is why he had every right to kill Gaea and he did) had to run away from foster homes like a zillion times because, he had abandonment issues, had no friends, slept in sewers. And when he finally has a reliable group of friends, a FAMILY? you think he'd go and destroy that? Just because he doesn't have a "love interest"? NON of us would do that don't lie to me. We live on crumbs of love thrown at us and whoever says otherwise is a wretched liar. Yes, I agree most of the times he feels left out and after what nemeisis told him he started feeling even more insecure and started overthinking about pretty much everything. No life is perfect. BUT Just so you pipsqueaks know and I cannot stress this enough NOT EVERY FREAKING ONE HAS SAME REACTION TO TRAUMA sure, some of us go through anger issues, some of us turn apathetic and some of us? SOME OF US TURN INTO THIS LARGE BALL OF ANXIETY AND INSECURITY THAT HAS FORGOTTEN HOW VERBAL COMMUNICATION WORKS, HAS SELF ESTEEM RESEMBLING THE BOTTOM OF A FINISHED JUICE BOTTLE AND GETS OVERWHELMED BY SMALL THINGS. And for Hades's sake STOP fucking glorifying things like trauma makes you more "distant" or "thick skinned" blah blah blah.

Spends entire day drinking coffee and reading books, highly avoids socializing..including social media. Overthinks about a thousand times before having a verbal conversation. Masks every emotion into anger and lets out frustration on a punching bag. And then wonders how they have no friends.

But.. It just got cooler??

Dark academia moodboard // Chetham Library, Manchester (2018)