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My Life - Blog Posts
Hey people, so my friends and even my dad told me i should do webtoon. Also i need a place to just vent so-
gO chEck ouT my sTOry click On thE linK beLoW
https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/its-just-my-life/list?title_no=724270
Hahah- be warned, gonna get into very serious topics so- don’t say I didn’t told you so.
I’m not crying... I just got something in my.... Oh man this freaking sad and beautiful and sad and heartbreaking and sad.
I’ll write a fic of this someday... but first.
*Starts to cry*
how do you think Lightning will react about if Sally dies suddenly ? I'm feeling a little down right now
Oh…. oh. Wow. Okay.
Well I hope you feel better soon, anon. I don’t know if this will help or make it worse, but I hope somehow it helps you out.
Everyone thought he took Doc’s death hard. That was nothing compared to this. When they heard the news, he started screaming and swearing, completely turning into someone else the townsfolk had never seen.
He just leaves town without saying a word. He can’t take seeing it without her. She was the one who really made him appreciate it to begin with.
No one sees him for three or four days, no one knows where he went. Turns out, he drove up into the mountains and just sat in isolation while he mourned her. He couldn’t bear being around anyone.
He makes it back for the funeral, but doesn’t speak. Everyone is trying to provide what comfort they can, but it’s like talking to a brick wall. She was his life. Nothing, not even his racing career, was as significant as her.
Afterwards, he spends a lot of time at her grave. They buried her near Doc. He tries to talk to her to ease his conscience, but he can’t say anything without breaking back into into sobs.
He tries to find someone to blame for his pain, but can’t. He can’t control his thoughts and goes back and forth between being vehemently angry and unbearably anguished.
He’s torn between leaving Radiator Springs for good and staying. It all reminds him of her, and it’s painful. But at the same time he knows she’d want him to take care of it now that both she and Doc were gone.
He never goes to visit Wheel Well again. He can’t even look at it. He still supports and manages the operation, but he’ll never go back. He makes a point not to look at it if he has to drive by it. That was sacred ground for them as a couple. It’ll never be the same.
He treats the Cozy Cone motel similarly, although he still stays there. He hires on an old friend to keep it running so he doesn’t have to do it himself. Going into the office was hard to take. All the decor was still as she’d left it.
A couple weeks later, Mater finally gets him to talk. He doesn’t respond much, but it’s an improvement. Mater doesn’t push him, but he does say something that strikes a chord with Lightning. “Forgetting her won’t make it [the pain] go away.”
Lightning was given similar advice when Doc died, and he knew that he needed to honor her in a similar manner. He decided that he wasn’t going to leave town. That town was her everything, and if that’s all he had left of her besides memories, he was going to do whatever he could to support it.
Later on, he tries to focus more on racing, but it’s not quite the same. He still does well, but he finds himself pushing himself to the limits a lot more and thinking a lot less. It’s not a good strategy, and his eager spirit is just gone. He misses seeing her there in the pits waiting for him.
It takes several months for things to return to any degree of normality. The town is still much quieter, as Sally’s bubbly, optimistic personality isn’t there to supplement it anymore, but everyone at least functions again.
Lightning eventually remembers how to enjoy himself and have fun again. He spends more time with the other members of the town and even with his racing buddies. He’s gotten to a point where he can think about her and not feel overwhelmed by her absence. There’s still a void in his soul, but it’s one he intends to keep, in memory of her.
How impressive!!
I just went to what might be the nicest petco I’ve ever been to (super nice enclosures, very active and healthy animals) and met this starfish. This isn’t sped up. He was actually going this fast.
Today my little brother texted me while he was in school and said “Got a donut for math class imagine not having a donut” and sent two pictures of his donut so I called him an asshole, left work, drove to quick trip, and got myself TWO donuts. I then texted him a picture and called him a bitch. I love my brother.
guy who installs an adblocker and forgets about it and lives in a beautiful world where online ads have become much less frequent
Do whatever the fuck you want with your art and body forever and ever, until you die.
Ola, my name is Giro and I draw obviously.
I plan to post here mostly one piece art but maybe a little bit of other fandoms as well. My updates are very slow and far between. So far it was cause of my graduation but I already have that behind me, so my reason is simply that I forgot about the existence of my account very often.
2025 update
Well, still nothing much here, recently I picked up transformers fandom so it's content will appear here, right now I'm dying cause of our finals for this semester. Also I successfully graduated and I'm now at a higher professional school? (I have no idea if it's a thing but it's what a google translator told me it should be, technically it is almost college, at the end you will become a 'certified specialist') I could go all day about how this school sucks is great 🙂.
In the upcoming future, you can see things on these fandoms:
One piece
Transformers
Call of Duty
Tmnt
Zenless zone zero
There will definitely be more
Regarding TF I'm planning some Au and also would like to draw some appreciation art to some people I follow.
Oh damn, I just realised I have a first graduation exam in two hours. Hmmmm
please ignore if wanted, this is only venting out my thoughts 💭💭
Is anyone else sometimes forgetting who they are?
There are days where I forget I'm 22 years old, who used to draw her favorite characters, immerses herself in books such as Harry Potter and Percy Jackson, who stayed up as a child and to sneak into the kitchen and make herself strawberry milk, wanting to be a singer when so young and absolutely adored in going to playgrounds.
Whenever I see myself now, I forget that I was someone of my choice. Now, I only wonder what I'll make for dinner for my siblings, which of them are going off with friends and the time they'll be back, if there were days marked for parent-teacher conferences or upcoming performances and their schools, appointments for check-up or needing medicine for fevers, using any money I was gifted whether from birthdays or to buy myself something to get what my siblings need.
I can remember as a child, asides from attending school or visiting families, how normal it is to know how to make a bottle for a baby, to change diapers, to burp them, knowing what they can have and taking care of them whenever the adults were busy.
How normal is it that I learned to know so much for my siblings ever since I was a child, growing up knowing how to raise them, that I don't know what I like for myself anymore?
Do I still draw my favorite characters or whatever comes to mind?
Do I still read those thick books I used to carry everywhere?
Do I still just lay on my back with music playing in the background?
Do I still drink strawberry milk?
Ride bikes?
Karaoke with my cousin?
Why is it that the coffee I first took a sip of as a child now became a refuge to the hereditary migraines and headaches?
Why is it that I can take so much care for others but deny any sickness I'm undergoing to continue chores?
Is it because I'm scared of failing my siblings? Is it because I've grown so use to doing so much that it's unsettling for myself to be able to have time for myself?
Why am I only gaining help now, after my other relatives watched my breakdowns, my sickness from stress to heaving up whatever I had in my stomach, my grandmother whispering poisonous words about my mother to me whenever alone?
Why didn't I have help sooner? Why didn't they help when I had to switch to homeschooling because of my mental health declining and bullying I endured? Why didn't they help when I panicked for my siblings whenever sick, especially one with hydrocephalus? Why didn't they help when they saw me starve myself to give plenty to my siblings?
Why are they acting as if it's all in my head when I mentioned how my siblings and I keep to ourselves, staying out of their way because our mother wasn't allowed back in the house because of their own fault and hers?
I remember sitting in the darkness of the bathroom, hands clenching over the lower half of my face to muffle my crying, eyes burning and ears ringing because of all that I've been through. I remember tears in my eyes the second one of my cousins started yelling at me for something out of my control, nearly attacking me while an uncle watched and did nothing to stop her— only for another cousin to stop her and comfort me after while my siblings watched me.
I felt so pathetic and ashamed, having my siblings' eyes on me as I curled myself on my bed, fingers digging into my face and palms clamped over my lips as I felt my chest buzzing endlessly at the thought of my cousin, the one I considered another sibling, nearly punched me— my uncle watching, arms crossed and body relaxed, didn't move a muscle to intervene, the same man my relatives claim doesn't hate me or my siblings.
How I practically became a mother, unable to finish schooling during COVID-19 lockdown because all of my siblings had their classes, the younger ones needing someone to watch over them. I was 16, maybe 17 when I became their mother, called one by the last born child and sought for by my sibling with hydrocephalus for comfort at night to sleep in my bed and curl to my side.
At the first parent-teacher conference, I broke down because one of my siblings' elementary teacher saw how tired I was and helped with getting on my feet for GED.
I can't talk to the friends I had in highschool before transferring to homeschool because I'm no longer knowing who they are or become. Having no chances at dating with being so focused on my siblings and the social anxiety I have, not even knowing myself as I used to.
"You're over exaggerating."
"Learn to trust people."
"You're so independent."
"Your siblings are so dependent on you."
Words upon words, statement after statement, criticism after criticism.
I get so overwhelmed, overstimulated by stress and trying to do everything but then get told off as exaggerating what I do for my siblings.
I can't trust my relatives for my mom's side because so many have hurt me verbally, emotionally, mentally and nearly physically— I take so much from them to avoid it ever reaching my brothers and sisters, to where only tidbits of their nastiness reached the older ones.
I didn't want independence in the way it came. I needed others to see me drowning, see me reaching out to them when it became too much, shouldering and balancing too much on my plate, only to be dubbed as independent and thought as not needing assistance in any shape or form.
My siblings are dependent on me because they kicked out their father, they kicked out their mother, they never attended their conferences, they didn't see their first steps, they weren't the someone who cooked their food, did their laundry, showered them, cared for them when sick.
Hell, they only started helping now, only one of them is attempting to gain guardianship approved by our mother, only they have helped with getting what my kids need, their appointments, checking their grades.
I try to get back to writing, by gods I try, my mind spiraling with ideas of characters I break myself into pieces to create.
I try drawing again, each sketch lighthearted and faint in the light.
I try sewing to repair my clothes.
I try so much that it strains my aching body to relax and understand only now I'm getting the help I needed so long ago. I wonder if that small child from so long ago, who'd run for ladybugs and sing to the songs their mother grew up with, would ever come out to the light where there's no screaming aimed our way,
no argument so loud they'd cover their ears and clench their eyes shut,
no dizziness when having to get up and missing chances to eat for others to have,
no buzzing in their chests from the anxiety of the outside world.
Would we ever have a chance to build ourselves? Would we ever meet someone who'll stay by our side, grow to understand the meaning behind the eye bags and trembling hands, scratched knees and overstimulated thoughts? Would we ever get back to reading those books again, finding ourselves daydreaming of what'd it be like to be in those pages?
Sorry again for the long rambling and spouting, but I just needed to have it all typed out for now before anymore is thrown my way.
𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐎.
only now realizing how weird it is to start self care after taking care of others for so long; I've been taking care and practically raising my younger siblings for years since I was a child and grew up learning how, so having the house empty, siblings all at their school, I started laughing at how weird it is for using a hydrating sheet mask
may get back into writing after enduring the entire thanksgiving break— not much of a break having all of them home, some sick and others just gremlins
recently became aware of tumblr again and i am making everyones problem. be ready to hear about every single thing that i do with my life
Life continues part 77
so I have a c in math and I didn’t know why because I understand most of the content, so I contemplated why. I have come to the conclusion that I don’t care, like I have no motivation to do it like freshmen year. The thing that drove me to get a’s in all of my classes was the fear/disappointment from my mother. But that STRESSED the FUCK out of me. and I aint doing that again.
Letting this out in the world
So I like this girl. We met in elementary but we weren’t close, like we would exchange are hellos and byes and that would be it. Bc of where we lived we ending up not going to the same middle school, I would have thought that she forgot me but she didn’t. High school came around and we met once again. Over our freshman year we would call each by one name and we would have known who it was. Like it was our thing. I always thought she was amazing, and talented, and she was gorgeous. Her voice was astonishing. She could sing a song I didn’t like and I would then love it. But that year I found out that she had a boyfriend. It was fine she was happy, she was smiling that beautiful smile, it was all good. Over the summer she would post photos of her and her friends and I would comment encouraging comments that would seem like for everyone but in all reality they were for her and only her. Then band camp happened, it was a lovely time. And I heard that she broke up with her boyfriend. Anyways we even spent a whole day together with some of our other friends. That day I realized that she extremely cute and hilarious. I would have grandma run with her any day. Also I’m like really scared to tell her bc she is like everything and I’m like nothing, another thing is I don’t know if she like girls soooooooo yeah
Life just continues
So I’m sitting here in my livingroom with knots in my stomach because I’m coming to the realization that I have to go to a party in less than 3 hours and boi I’m anxious
First two pics: the failure of an attempt to make an m&m themed cake. Last pic: my actual birthday cake that we used for the little party.
Always seem to have bad luck on my birthdays.
Both cakes were made by my mom. I really love all she has done for me and how she’s listened to my crazy requests.
So like fun fact I was not born in the 90's but I grew up on all of these. My family didn't really have a lot of money (still don't) so we couldn't get new cool things, but honestly looking back on my early 90's type environment I grew up in, I'm really happy how I got to grow up. Even if sometimes I was teased for having a gameboy and not a DS or playing ps2 and Nintendo 64 instead of new consoles. Or for having really old hand-me-downs from the 90's. I love being one of the few kids my age to be able to name a song all the way back from the 50's on up. I adore the fashion that I later grew to love. And most of all I love all the cartoons it shaped my love for art and animation. I love being raised with a 90's childhood and I don't think I'd ever change it.❤
If you’re around 18 and you dont find this nostalgic I feel bad for your childhood
When I’m in the shower:
mmmmMMmm. That’s some fine quality singin’ right there 👌👌👌👌👌MMMmm... I could be a professional.
In the real world:
WhaAT IS THIS UNHOLy SCREECHING??
AaAAaHHhHHh
I broke my phone. Please help, I can’t function.
So, I woke up and put on a podcast or something (Song vs Song my people) and went into the tiny ass kitchen, opened the cupboard for some coffee and... BAM! My instant coffee fell off the TOP SHELF and right on my phone.
COFFEE I TRUSTED YOU!
Me when the consequences of my own actions start catching up to me
Ahh... Yes i try another quiz and it's about how you die in your past life why the possibility of dying due to stupidity rating 2 from above . Am I so stupid in my past life ??
WHAT SHOULD I DO??
hey I want to say that I have passed the undyne section and have done my first reset, I did the reset with an unclear mind so I regret it but I'm not Regretting it now until that I got stuck in the muffet battle section i regret it again, the time when I played the undertale for the first time I was most annoyed by the fight against Undyne.
Thank you for hearing my sadness😭😭😭
🖤
Character: *is literally twice my age*
Me: 🤤
Sane Person: but—
Me: shhhh
Me: must protect my baby
