Mslunafox17 - Dont Look Back. You're Not Going That Way.

If you have been following me for a while or have read a great bulk of my writings, you would know and understand how much I harp on the role of the dominant in the relationship… And the difference between what’s important and what’s not.

But to summarize and recap, the most important parts of the role of the dominant come with being a great pillar of stability, strength, security, and trust in the life of their submissive. Things like sex and naughty time and the like take a backseat in favor of forward growth of not only the relationship… But the submissive as a whole.

I’ve talked about things like having a mission statement for your relationship… Where do you want to see it be in six months? A year? Five years? What is your purpose for being in the relationship if it isn’t growing together or fostering growth in each other? Because when the rubber meets the road that’s what it should be all about… The dominant helping the submissive to become something better today than they were yesterday. How you get there and the means in which you use to do so, is up to you and particular to the relationship. And it’s certainly much more important then getting your rocks off or finding a third playmate or having some kind of sexual gratification be put into place.

If you are in a relationship as a submissive and your dominant only cares about those last few things… You really should consider running as far away from that person as possible right now. Because they are not interested in you, they are interested in what you offered to them on a time to time basis that they need or want.

The role of the dominant

A dominants role in the life of their submissive in the relationship should be one of constant and forward growth. When you take on this role you are putting on a mantle that carries a gigantic amount of responsibility. You first need to understand their submissive Space and if you don’t I suggest that you begin with this link

https://mistersbeard.tumblr.com/post/186189647863/anonymous-wrote-hi-ive-been-really-confused

I do talk primarily about DDLG because that is the strength of my background, but what you have to understand is that DDLG is just a subculture of BDSM to begin with… So remove the specific label and content, and the simplicities of the content still applies to BDSM and relationships in general.

So now what…

Then what you need to ask yourself as a Dominant… Who am I? Am I a leader? Am I a teacher or mentor? Or am I simply someone who likes to be in control? Because there’s a very strong difference between being a leader and a boss, which you can read about here to determine

https://mistersbeard.tumblr.com/post/183336420423/dominance-101-are-you-a-leader-or-a-boss-when

After you have done that and figured out something as simple as “ oh, this isn’t just about aesthetic’s and spanking and getting a great blowjob… I actually have to put in effort and work and grow a person” then that’s when you need to make the decision as to whether you can actually do that or not. Because if you can’t… Then please, get out of this lifestyle and stop polluting it and ruining people.

Submissive‘s have a lot of things in common. Littles have even more in common. And the majority of what they do and how they see you and what they do for you comes from experience in Life. They are searching for the one person who is going to bring stability to it all, who is going to make everything right and be there and give them a safe space for them to be themselves… what they are not looking for in most cases is just a guy who is angry at the way that his mother treated him all his life so he wants to take it out on any female who is gullible enough to fall into his trap’s.

So you as the dominant need to make a decision… Why am I going to be in this relationship? Why am I in this relationship? Why have I allowed this relationship to go on so long where I’m simply being an abuser and taking advantage of someone?

Because if you’re not putting rules into effect… If you’re not properly taking care of them… If you’re not seeing them grow in their own ways… if you’re not contributing to their advancement in life in anyway shape or form… Then what the hell are you really doing?

And the role of the submissive….

Why are you settling for the least possible relationship that you can fine? Why are you allowing yourself to believe that you were going to change him when you never will… Because people can only change if they really want to. Why are you still there after he’s made that 74th promise to you that he’s going to begin doing what you want him to do when the first 73 times he didn’t?

Did you know there’s over 8 billion people in the world? And the law of averages and statistics should tell you that at least a great portion of those people are into the kink or the lifestyle.

Get out from behind a screen and off the Internet… Go out to an actual event in your community. Find a munch.com would be a tremendous resource to you. Get a fetlife profile and keep it blank to avoid all of the fakes and abusers, all while you search for local events to go to… And then go to those events regardless of whether you have a friend to go with you or not. In most cases those events are going to be a safe place, and the people who attend them always attend them and they vet out the people who aren’t supposed to be there. They will recognize you as being a new person and they will protect you.

There is a world outside of Tumblr and Snapchat and the confines of having your face smashed into a screen all day. There are people out there just like you who want to connect with you and who are genuine and true. There is the one out there for you who’s going to treat you the way that you deserve to be treated… You just have to put in the effort in the work and have patience.

Loneliness and depression are two terrible things that make an ugly disease that ends up leaving littles and submissives used, abused, chewed up, and spit out.. it’s happening all over the place every day because it’s simply being allowed to happen… But the cycle of abuse and treachery can come to an end with simply believing in yourself and knowing that you are worth the work, worth the wait, and worth putting everything into in order to see you grow, be happy, and thrive as a person.

Having a strong base of friends helps with the loneliness and depression, and in order to find these friends you have to actually get out into your local community and make those friends. Its scary I know… but its completely worth it and will change your life. 

You cannot simply rely on someone that you are communicating with from thousands of miles away, or the person who is confining you to simply serving and seeing only them. You need to spread out and expand your horizons and actually grow beyond the 4 walls that make up your bedroom.

If the person that you have allowed to be in charge of you is dragging you along rather than leading you… Then it’s time to cut that rope and end your misery.

Your submission is a gift. It is no one’s right nor is it their privilege. It is yours and yours alone to give to whom ever you decide it should go to…

… And sometimes being alone is much better than being ignored.

Thank you for enjoying this writing. Feel free to like it, love it, and share it with others who you believe may benefit from it.

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🥰Every time🥰