The McMansion Hell Yearbook: 1978

Howdy Folks! Today’s house comes to us from Iredell County, North Carolina, and trust me, it is quite a doozy - just in time for Valentines Day, too! If you don’t fall in love with it, I don’t know what to tell you.

This 5300 square foot, 4 bedroom, 4.5 bath house, comes in at $625,000, making it more of a bargain than most McMansions usually are, and while the Tudors never came to America, a place that had not yet been “discovered” by the time the Tudors were in power in England, fear not - for all the repression and stuffiness of 15th century Britain can still be found within these darkened doors.

Lawyer Foyer

If your house doesn’t constantly give off I AM MARRIED vibes, your spouse might start having indecent thoughts. One must stay vigilant at all times.

Dining Room

Look, hutches are good storage, okay. Sturdy. We as a generation (millennials) need to get back into knickknacks. Minimalism is dead. Long live kitsch.

Living Room

Honestly, this house is so dark and repressed it makes high school me look like a libertine.

Kitchen

“What do you mean ‘dopeness’ isn’t a qualifier for granting a property historical landmark status?”

Main Bedroom

Love is in the air. Also the air is really, really stale in here right now.

Bathroom

If your bathroom doesn’t emulate a luxuriant grotto, wyd???

Bedroom 2

please, my floor ducks, they are so cold,,,,

Sunroom

I have got to stop using epic ironically. I already lived through 2008 once.

That’s it for the interior! Let’s just step outside for a quick breather…

Rear Exterior

Well, I hope you had a good time traipsing through what can only be described as a treasure trove of different matching fabrics. Be sure to stick around for the next part of “Underground” which is coming your way shortly!

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my-exitsign

5 years ago

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my-exitsign

3 years ago

Hello Have Some Slightly Disappointing Totale Finsternis Gifs Which I Abandoned In Favour Of The French

hello have some slightly disappointing Totale Finsternis gifs which i abandoned in favour of the french production

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my-exitsign

6 years ago

oh, you sexy thing! Adam Driver’s fighting scenes, set to an appropriate music ;)

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my-exitsign

2 years ago

Matt Smith Gets Emotional While Reading His Last Speech

Matt Smith gets emotional while reading his last speech

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my-exitsign

7 years ago

I like to think by the time Gotham’s Batman Proper era rolls around nothing phases James Gordon any more. He’s unflappable, jaded even. He’s seen it all, man, and then some.

Bruce confesses he’s Batman, and Jim doesn’t even look up from his paperwork. “Good to know.”

Someone at the GCPD bursts into his office yelling that a giant mobile venus fly trap is downstairs eating officers, and he pulls a ginormous jug of Weed-Be-Gone out of his cabinet drawer and slaps it on his desk.

Valeska shows up at his apartment with a surfboard wearing tropical print swim trunks and a crap load of C4 strapped to his chest, and Jim’s like, “unless you’ve brought me coffee, I don’t have time for you right now” and just continues on to his car.

Commissioner James “Been There, Done That, Got the T-Shirt” Gordon.

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my-exitsign

4 years ago