May I Present To You:

random valo hcs

neon has an extremely loud laugh. the duelists will be chilling in the living room in silence when neon will burst out scream-laughing because of a meme on her phone and scare everyone

much like how sova doesnt like cypher because of how secretive he is, he does not like chamber one bit like at all :/

jett and astra are the type of ppl to hit/swat people while they’re laughing. one time phoenix made jett laugh so hard she punched his arm and accidentally gave him a bruise

jett and phoenix are the closest to each other out of all the agents. platonic or not they love each other a lot and they can talk for hours about nothing and if one of them had a bad mission or a bad day, they spend the night cuddling. a lot of the times they dont talk about it. they just hug it out.

when raze is sad she gets really quiet, which makes everyone notice and everyone will do their best to cheer her up because it’s super upsetting to see raze upset :(((

when neon was first recruited and sent out on her first mission, (which was a success) she burst out crying due to the stress on the plane ride home :( sage was there to comfort her tho

reyna has soft spot for omen. she pities how he struggles to keep himself together (literally) so she’s not as harsh to him as she is to the other agents

astra is a very affectionate person. she gives forehead kisses a lot :] no one, not even viper or reyna object because astra’s genuinely so sweet and it’s nice to get a kiss from her. one time sova and astra were on a successful mission together and astra was like YAAAAY and just hugged him and kissed his cheek. sova was like oh ok ig this is happening now lmao

whenever someone’s having a really rough day omen will knit them something. maybe it’s a sweater or a scarf but he will notice and shove it in your arms and scuttle away. it’s his way of showing he cares:’)))) he worked on a small teddy bear for raze for weeks.

yoru has horrendous bed hair lmao one time he fell asleep on the couch and everyone took pictures for blackmail

one time phoenix tried to give kayo a high five. phoenix then broke his hand.

jett and brimstone are absolutely horrendous at video games. killjoy makes fun of them for this :’) jett rages while brim’s just extremely confused the entire time

the no fraternization rule is never followed. like ever. brim tried to lecture them ONCE about it but it was super awkward and he never tried to bother again.

Yokye week #2. In my timezone, I’m all caught up. Hoorah!

Viper is Batman

Batman is, in his own words, a rich kid with lots, lots of problems. He's often lonely because of the walls that he made by the security of the ones that he loves. And, believe me, Batman is a person who loves too much. He feels pain because of it. He got traumatized and fights everyday for people don't suffer like him. And, when he can't fight the others' battles, he truly helps these people in their battles.

This is my romantic view of Batman. Now, being realistic, this man is a dick.

Like, Bruce, you're rich, pay for some therapy. Spanking criminals saying that it's for justice isn't a way to solve your problems and the problems of the world. I bet that the biggest issue in Gotham is Bruce Wayne's richness. And, you won't justify yourself by training kids to be vigilantes/assassins. I mean, I know that Bruce never wanted the Robins ended like him but shiiiit boy. Look what you did with Jason.

Now that I showed my ignorant opinion about Batman, let's talk about Viper.

Her "therapy" is inflict pain in others. Like, playing with Viper is even scary since she's with that terrify voice saying something like "I want to see you craw". Her ability is make people suffocate till death or make them dissolve. Ma'am, calm down.

Anyway, my point is, Viper is a dick too.

She's as traumatized and lonely as Batman. And, even if she's a damn sadic bitch, she cares about the younger agents. I don't think that the dialogue between her and Brim is just a tired Viper.

(Viper: "Brimstone, we really need to put an age floor on Valorant. I can't take this... youth"

Brim: "They're the future, Sabine! You know you care about them.")

Yes, she cares. Damn, how she cares. They are young and dumb. They should be just young and dumb, not soldiers. I think Viper can be really overprotective with the younger agents, even if she doesn't know how to demonstrate this. She doesn't want to anyone else feel what she feels everyday.

She's a cinnamon roll. She even bet with Brimstone that her kids won't die in battle.

Yet, Viper's still a dick. Big one. Never forget this.

All this to say, love to Viper and Batman please. They need true therapy and a hug.

just finished playing doki doki literature club.

gonna need a sec guys. maybe a few years of therapy or something.

jett

how to tell who put a blanket over you when you fell asleep somewhere random in VP HQ:

the edges are not tucked in: kay/o, who is too cautious to press. but you're still warm, because within base he has access to a stash of good fluffy blankets

the blanket has been knitted by hand: omen, who will sometimes also leave you a stuffed toy. you can keep it if you want.

you are covered up to your nose and there's a picture of you sleeping taped to your forehead: cypher, who definitely is keeping copies of your most embarrassing sleep poses in his blackmail collection

you wake up in your room, not where you fell asleep: brimstone or sage, both of whom leave little handwritten sticky notes on your door reminding you to head to bed early if you're tired

the 'blanket' is a cloak. with fur. it is blue: sova, who has spare cloaks and is confident that they are comfy

you are chamber and wake up with a clean sheet from the morgue over you: viper, who is making fun of you again.

Based off something I actually said to my friends in a match. We were all initiators, and I was playing Breach.

Dialogue credit goes to @hvstias as usual

cypher: i accidentally indulged in too much 'me time'

cypher: turns out, I've been reported missing for six months and presumed dead by most locals and national authorities.

VERY random viper headcanons because.. i love her

she watched pet cemetery a way too many times in collage and went thru a whole necromancy phase for a while so now she just knows an absurd amount about that topic and sage is confused by those things like?? HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT

probably has bpd and ptsd

likes to fuck with other agents with her death stare when she's bored

she has two snakes and everyone thinks they're dangerous and scary etc but they're just little dumb noodles

bets with brimstone and cypher, sometimes with sage

she cannot be trusted with kids, not because she doesn't know how to keep them safe but because she genuinely has no idea how to communicate w them

is a winter person and refuses to go to places without AC in summer unless it's really necessary

she can't work without caffeine and i mean it like think of those vampires who can't function if they don't drink blood for a long time and you'll see the vision

she has a very good alcohol tolerance.

BUT when she does get she often talks about some scientific stuff (no one understands what she's saying because she either talks too fast or it's just some high level science shit lol) or just stares off into the distance & continues to drink until someone takes the bottle away

actually likes physical affection but ONLY her closest friends know it

her real name is sabine which is of italian origin, and i know it could be random but i hc her as half italian so she probably learned some bits of the language at home and knows more that 3 languages

loves having late night conversations w sova or cypher because those men know some interesting things

she can be bribed with food. neon calls it gastrodiplomacy

she somehow got her clothes mixed up with sage's. they have no idea how but suddenly sage has green turtlenecks and viper has her jackets but neither of them tried to give those things back lmao

knows many ways to get rid of a dead body without anyone noticing, call it a mad scientist talent

she avoids social interactions unless it's really urgent and this is why we only see her in dangerous mission cinematics and not in normal official arts, events etc

this woman has tattoos and i'll die on this hill

she loves acrylic nails like reyna's but can't wear them because of her suit

probably watches a lot of psychological, horror, or thriller movies when she's bored & just for fun