i have been trying for like. months to explain how the relationship between butch lesbians and trans men is not something akin to polar opposites and this is all i got. like it's not like this:
it's a venn diagram with a massive overlap in the middle. i'm not saying EVERY butch is a trans guy and EVERY trans guy is a butch dyke , i'm just saying it looks more like this:
these are not "mutually exclusive" terms- they do not mean the same thing, but we can be the same people, an very often are. there is a long history of butches who identify as FTM, trans men, drag kings, genderqueer, genderfluid, transmasculine, male, polygender, and two-spirit lesbians, and so much more. the relationship between lesbianism and queer masculinity is inseparable and the only people telling you that butches and trans men need to violently separate from one another and be at each other's throats are terfs. even if we do not share identities, we share our struggle together as heavily misunderstood and unseen masculine queers.
we stand up for each other when our identities get confused by strangers, and we get misgendered. we stand up for each other when terfs and terfpilled people tell us that transmasculine people and men can't be lesbians, when people say "butches just want to be men", when people say "butches aren't real women", when people call each of us bull dykes and trannies, when people mock the way FTMs walk and talk and look, and when people tell trans men they're "just butch dykes in denial". we stand up for each other and understand each others struggles.
whenever a butch lesbian asserts they're a woman no matter how masc they are, whenever a trans man asserts that they are a man and not a butch, whenever a butch struggles to be seen as both a man and a lesbian, and whenever a trans man returns to the lesbian community while embracing their manhood, we are part of the same community, we share the same struggles, and we owe it to each other to stay strong.
we are not enemies. we are bedfellows, lovers, family, spouses, partners, husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, siblings, friends, each others support networks, even if we don't share identities perfectly. whether you are butch and a woman, butch and a man, butch and something else entirely, a male, ftm, genderfluid, polygender, genderqueer, transmasculine, nonbinary, two-spirit or whatever else you may be lesbian, you are part of our family and your experience is worth being heard.
This old comic about personal experience with gifts. Idk brain just malfunctions when I have to show emotions and I thought that Donnie could relate?
him putting his hand over my mouth so i don’t wake up his family>>>>>>>>>>
This pride I would like for people to be normal about aroallos
sometimes I remember how on the last day of my high school latin class our teacher had us gather around his laptop to show us latin memes on tumblr and my best friend and I just gaped at each other in abject horror. we couldn’t figure out if our teacher was just showing us memes on a Fun Website He Had Found or if he was a tumblr user for real. but he knew how to navigate it. years have passed but it haunts me. he could still be out here
basic human decency !!!!!!! Empathy and compassion !!!!!! Very sexy concepts !!!!!!
my son who i hate
Really wish words like “crossdresser” and “transvestite” didn’t get pushed out of people’s vocabulary cause now we’ve got 20yr olds who genuinely believe the two modes of expression are True Transgender and Valor Thief. Seeing takes like “men dressing as women is making a mockery of the transfeminine experience” (predominantly regarding F1nn5ter or celebs in skirts). Like ohhhh you are so right! We need to protect the divine feminine from any measure of mockery. You know what? We should gather weapons and storm our nearest Drag Story Hour and teach those degenerates a lesson.
truly i dont want to hear anymore about how terfs are so nice to transmascs from people whose only interaction with terfs is reading their propaganda online. like some of you are earnestly like "wow, do you really think an anti-trans hate group would do that? just go on the internet and tell lies?"
i had a terf physically assault me in the bathroom of a bar because she recognised me from some stupid facebook post where i disclosed my gender identity (wasn't even a man then! just a """theyfab"""!) and after she was done smashing my fucking head against the wall and groping my crotch she told me so smugly that "no one will believe you" about the assault. isn't that so funny.
and no, she didn't "mistake me for a trans woman". she very angrily informed me that if i thought i could "escape what it means to be a woman" that i had another thing coming- that thing being corrective sexual assault and a concussion, it seems.