Steve McGarrett 8.16

ways i have tricked people into thinking i am competent:

bought a really nice looking fountain pen

that sounds like a joke but fountain pens are cheap as shit and when you use one people look at you like you’re a fucking wizard

this hero 901 cost me $3 on ebay and i don’t know why people assume that this is a pen for intelligent people but they do

it works better when i am using a nice notebook and not the avengers notebook that makes it look like the hulk is grabbing my sweet pen

i write in code which for some reason leads everyone to assume that i am some kind of da vinci motherfucker, instead of the reality, which is that i am writing about dicks and don’t want anyone to know

it looks like i am constantly taking notes on everything which is both intimidating and inaccurate, just the way i like it

i bought a usb clicker/laser pointer for $11 and now it seems like i’ve got this shit on lock, like i am so pro at giving presentations i even own accessories

holding a clicker makes you seem at least 10% more like you know what you’re talking about i’m pretty sure

i check the weekly freebies on creativemarket every monday so now i have a huge folder of pro-looking website themes and powerpoint templates and fill-in-the-blank resumes (also a lot of autumnal clipart and watercolor flowers and script fonts but that is less relevant)

i bought a ceramic coffee mug at world market years ago and it makes me look like a productive coffee-drinker because no one knows it’s full of hot cocoa

i don’t know why drinking coffee makes you look busy it just does even though i’m pretty sure it statistically reduces productivity

bonus: not only does no one know i’m just drinking Depression Chocolate but they think i am being Environmentally Conscious rather than Poor As Shit

extra bonus: i can take a sip whenever it looks like someone is going to ask a question and then they ask someone else

i almost never have to answer questions and i leave the room a lot because i have to pee constantly so double extra bonus

“That’s a very good question, and one that deserves an in-depth answer, so if you’d like to leave me your card I’d be happy to discuss it with you later one-on-one” aka “how DARE you suggest i waste everyone’s time answering this question right now” aka “lmfao i have no fucking clue what you just said please let me secretly google that okay”

bonus: now it seems like you are a sophisticated grownup who assumes everyone has A Card and if they have to settle for writing their email on a scrap of paper you can feel smug about it even though in your heart you know that you are no better

i’ve got anxiety and poor impulse control and anxiety about my poor impulse control so i generally say jack shit about shit and this constant silence is often misinterpreted as aloof observation

no one knows that my air of mystery is actually a bad case of the shy and i am too shy to correct them so it works out

when i’m on my laptop and i don’t want anyone to notice how much i’m dicking around i turn the brightness way down so they can’t snoop without being obvious

at least one window of notepad++ with some random html page or css stylesheet in it makes randos assume you are some kind of genius doing some genius shit, unless they are CS major randos, in which case i guess find an intimidating looking excel spreadsheet and hope for the best

Reblog with one thing you wish people knew about your disorder or disability

All disorders and disabilities accepted on this post, not just autism and adhd

MacGyver: Remember the Name

Inspired by @thisgameissonintendo​‘s gifset with the same lyrics

This happens to me some much

Me: *guesses correctly who the murderer is on a show*

Me: shut up bitches, there’s a new sheriff in town

10 Red Flags of an Abusive Relationship

When people think of abuse they often equate it to physical violence but that isn’t where abuse starts or ends. Abuse can be physical, mental, or emotional and everything in between. Anyone from any walk of life can be abused and anyone can be an abuser, there isn’t a type or a look when it comes to these things. It is important to understand what constitutes as abuse and what you can do about it if you come to the realization that you are being abused.

Remember that a relationship is any connection that you have with another person be it work, school, romantic, a friendship, or just an acquaintance and that any one of these examples can have abuse within it. What follows is a list of 10 red flags you might run into if you are in an abusive relationship. This list is not meant to be the only red flags of abuse and if you feel that you are being abused please seek out help, there will be a short list of resources at the end of this article.

1. Extremely Controlling Behavior

In many abusive relationships the abuser will want to control every aspect of their victim’s life. They might want to know who their victim is talking to, who they are planning to meet up with, or where they are going…

CONTINUE READING HERE

Reblog if you actually give a shit about anyone who’s suicidal or depressed.

No one should scroll past this

Solomon’s Shield is the name of the app

OMG Download this!!!! Stop Police Brutality!

Leelah Alcorn’s blog was deleted and posts about her are being removed. Don’t stop spreading this. Reblog everything you can, post everything you can. 

These are her pictures

here are some of her drawings

this is her note

Don’t let this die.

Not this.