I Don't Need Just Kaiser Fanfics, I Need To Inhale Him Too.

I have a headcannon that Kunikida has a history of getting into trouble with law enforcement, a lot.

The whole "My ideals do not vibe with the law but fuck that I'm doing it anyway. Just try and stop me."

So I'm thinking about the Agency freaking out over Kunikida getting arrested in the Cannabalism arc.

Everyone's forsaking out cept Yosano and Ranpo. Because they've busted Kunikida out of jail too many times to count.

Yosano: hears Atsushi's explanation Oh is that all?

Atsushi: How are you guys so calm?!

Yosano: This used to be our typical Tuseday. All we need is Katai and it'll be the old days all over again.

Atsushi:... Huh...

Yosano: You ready Ranpo?

Ranpo: dusts off a briefcase It's time for me to shed my detective hat. And resume my position as the world's best lawyer, Atsushi you shall be my assistant.

Atsushi: You know what sure, why not. Dazai's gonna be so mad he missed this.

Yosano: snorts That he will, should we get Katai to film it?

Ranpo: grins Naturally, this is my grand return of course.

Yosano: amused Of course, come on let's go get him out before Kunikida starts another prison brawl.

Atsushi: I want to say that'd suprise me, but no I can see it happening.

Hii!!! Sorry to bother you,I hope you are healthy as always❤️

So, i have a funny idea with Dazai (and others Character if you like), like what about Reader is a woman + tomboy but she more handsome and popular than him (Even though reader is a woman).How will they react about that!

If you don't like it you can skip itt! Thank you❤️❤️

───𝗣𝗢𝗣𝗨𝗟𝗔𝗥

Headcanon in WHICH, Dazai react to reader being more popular then him

A/N: :D

→Masterlist

DAZAI OSAMU

Denial is the first step of grief they say, and thats what exactly he felt.

I mean, with a ego as big as the sun, Dazai Osamu never in his life met with such a crisis.

what crisis you may ask?

Well, you and him were in a cafe, when a girl approched both of you.

Dazai being Dazai, thought the girl was approching him because, Who can resist his beautiful face and charms?

Oh boy how wrong he was when the girl turned her back towards him.

"Um...Miss you look so cool, I want-"

Dazai was so deaf to the conversation after that (Lmao)

Like he knows you are the most beautiful human to exist on earth but people turning their back on him for you??

He used to get free chocolates to eat from girls and free vegetables for the venders but now? IF HE IS WITH YOU HE HAS TO PAY???

"Hey lets go the market together!" "NO"

Bro is actually really sad cause no free stuff for him #he'sbroken

One time, he actually made you wear a mask when you both went outside for the evening walk, and the next moment a toddler boy came upto you and gave you flowers.

Bro got jelous of a boy.

A TODDLER BOY WHO CAN BARELY WALK PROPERLY

why do i think he made you wear this mask?

LIKE HEAR ME OUT

"Y/N pleaseeee" "NO DAZAI I AM NOT WEARING THAT...THAT MASK" "PLEASE"

and the mask in question would be this:

WHY DOES IT EVEN EXIST IN THE FIRST PLACE WHAT THE FUCK HELP

I mean after sometime, he might as well as give up and use you as a medium of free food gainer (as if he doesnt already)

"Y/N PLEASE RIZZ THEM UP FOR FREE CHOCOLATE" "yeah i dont really want you"

Like he is fr secretly proud of you.

Even asked you to sign his shirt so that whenever you get famous, he might as well as have a original merch.

"Dazai why am I voted as the most handsome/beautiful person in yokohama?" "Well its the truth tho?"

You got delivered free chocolates and flowers after

"WE CAN OPEN A SHOP WITH THAT" "No babes we cant, its not enough" "..." "NO DAZAI YOU ARE NOT ENTERING MY NAME IN A PAGENT"

Sometimes i think he as well as enter your name into politics

"I AM NOT ENTERING THE WORLD OF POLITICS NOW DAZAI ISTG" "BUT YN I SWEAR IT WILL BE..." Whispers "Chuuya please pick me up i am scared" "ARE YOU TALKING TO CHUUYA NOW?"

I officially lost my senses.

TAGLIST: @averagehisoilluenjoyer @high-on-dazai @ruru-kiss @kissesmellow21 @just2normalperson

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RIP Regulus I guess

Anyflip links to complete bsd light novels

dazai’s entrance exam - https://anyflip.com/gxcnw/vpeu/

dark era - https://anyflip.com/gxcnw/pcxl/

untold origins - https://anyflip.com/gxcnw/ghzd/

55 minutes - https://anyflip.com/gxcnw/ppxc/

dead apple - https://anyflip.com/gxcnw/wvkq/

beast - https://anyflip.com/gxcnw/vaqg/

fifteen - https://anyflip.com/gxcnw/msym/

stormbringer - https://anyflip.com/gxcnw/gbxf/

i got a hold of these while z library was still in it’s full glory and thought i’d share! the translation on these is by yen press, if you want a site where you can download them dm me, send any complaints to my ask box :3 i also recommend checking out @/bsd-bibliophile’s website for fan translations 

prediction before 118 drops (I JUST WANT RANPO BACK)

:)

It’s been clear that the Tanizakis aren’t siblings from the very beginning

here’s some evidence now that it’s been confirmed canon…

everyone who’s read irl Tanizaki’s book knew that Junichiro & Naomi weren’t siblings as soon as they introduced themselves

BUT just because the Tanizakis aren’t siblings doesn’t mean you can’t feel uncomfortable about them. if you feel uncomfortable, GOOD. that’s exactly what they want

the Tanizakis, Mori— they all use these disturbing ruses to disarm or distract people in order to protect themselves, or to accomplish their goals. this is a writing device that asagiri commonly employs as a way to parallel the irl literature (it’s actually ingenious)

there are 4 main indicators that have always made it clear to me that Junichiro & Naomi are not siblings:

1. most obviously— their character designs. Harukawa is extremely intentional with character designs, & she very intentionally made Naomi & Junichiro look nothing alike

their eye shapes are purposely different

their color palettes are contrasting

even their differing styles of clothing have meaning

this was all done so that the audience could PLAINLY see that they’re not related— so that WE know that they’re lying when they say they ARE related

2. how the people around them respond to their act.

the general reaction is “don’t question it”— which is exactly what they want. “be distracted by how uncomfortable you feel so that you look away from what we’re hiding” (this is likely a protective measure)

3. most importantly, this is meant to parallel irl Tanizaki’s book “Naomi,” where the main character Joji picks up Naomi to raise her into his ideal woman, but since she's so young (& a minor) they call each other cousins (Joji makes no sexual advances on young Naomi btw)

however, his plan backfires because when Naomi gets older & they get married, she flips the script on him & manipulates HIM so that he's under her thumb (which is why bsd Tanizaki is at a domineering Naomi's mercy). Joji let her have her way because of his masochistic tendencies

4. lastly is the emphasis that Asagiri and the Tanizakis themselves put on calling each other siblings.

over & over, it’s “my brother this” & “my sister that”

like they’re desperately trying to convince us that it’s true (“don’t let your lying eyes deceive you”)

here are just a few of many examples from the light novels…

again, if you’ve read “Naomi” you knew that Junichiro & Naomi weren’t siblings as soon as they introduced themselves

just like if you’ve read irl Mori’s works, it’s clear that bsd Mori isn’t a pedophile

just like if you’ve read No Longer Human you know that Dazai’s an unreliable narrator. he makes you think he’s a bad person bc he believes he’s a bad person, but those around him see him differently (btw this doesn’t mean he’s never done anything “bad,” though bsd isn’t about morality— but that’s another discussion)

anyway, i’m so excited for the Tanizakis backstory to be revealed so that we can better understand why they use this defense!!

also let this be a reminder to READ THE LITERATURE if you’re able to!! even reading synopses & analyses of the coordinating books makes bsd make much more sense 🥹

reminder that this how you’re supposed to react while reading bsd:

also, if you’re interested in a post explaining how Mori isn’t a pedo, i wrote this analysis on twt. OR you can read this document that one of my moots sent me (remember: analyzing a character does NOT mean you condone any actions they may or may not commit!)

im in the middle of reading stormbringer and why does nobody talk about adam and chuuyas friendship goals its peak (if there is a certain spoiler ab them do NOT run thy mouth)

ima scrap my old stormbringer fic and can yall tell me which typa fic u want me to write first:

non violent ending obvi but y/n is one of the suspected people thats going to be targeted by verlaine. and so chuuya and adam come to protect her and defeat verlaine. and like chuuya and y/n are sassing each other and chuuyas like "okay i had a shitty week too yknow?? people i actually cared for died and i dont want you to be next!" --everything goes silent and adams like "Master Chuuya, I believe there are better words to articulate your romantic feelings towards y/n, maybe then you can form a relationship after this is all sorted out--" "NO."

dazai is either overseas for a while or disappears off the face of the earth(not uncommon of him) and stormbringer chuuya is given a temporarily partner (y/n). and the dynamic is like "i wish i had a family" "trust me you DONT". at the end chuuya uses corruption and y/n genuinely is like "beautiful. you're beautiful." while she smiles like GENUINELY.

TELL MEEEEE bc i like both of these ideas but idk which to write first!! stormbringer chuu chuu season!

ps. march break is after this week and im sorry for not uploading cus i have like two exams this week along with two essays and one big ass assignment :(

I actually NEED the squid game au like it's oxygen

I hope you'll like my own games I've put into it! Fun enough, I came up with them myself and then saw someone on TikTok using them for their au and I was like ... great minds think alike

I'm not sure where or how to end it but I'll work it out :)

amazing dialogue

STOPPPPPPP IM SCREECHING AIFHASIUFHSUDIFHSUD ATSUSHI'S FACE IN THE BACKGROUND AND KUNIKIDA JUST BEING LIKE "WHAT THE FUCK" USHDFASIUFHDU THEIR FIRST UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL, DIRECT ENCOUNTER WITH THE REMNANTS OF PM!DAZAI AND THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH IT