A Terrifying Chair That I Would Never Sit In

whenever i tripped and hurt myself as a kid, my brother would try to get me to laugh by doing that walking thing with his fingers. it always stopped my crying.

Not to be THAT person

But Harumi's backstory was clearly written by someone who did not watch the very first season of Ninjago

She claims that when she was a child she was a fan of the Ninja, she had their toys and everything

She said that when the Great Devourer came, the ninja failed to do their jobs, and Garmadon stepped in

Meanwhile (in season 1)

During the attack of the Great Devourer no one knew of the existence of the ninja

In fact

It was during that attack that they became known, that's when they were seen for the first time through the news

And it wasn't until season 5 that they became famous, had their own toys, and made appearances on TV

Furthermore

The phrase "Ninja Never Quit" was not a public thing until Zane said it at the very end of season 3

Harumi's obsession with Garmadon makes sense, but her hatred of the Ninja, especially Lloyd (who, during season 1, was barely participating in the fight due to still being a child), makes absolutely no sense to me

And that loophole could have been SO easily avoided, if Harumi's backstory had just been about idolizing Garmadon because of what he did, instead of trying to make it personal

It would have been perfect if Harumi's hate towards Lloyd had been just because he purified Garmadon, or because he released Pythor, who released the Great Devourer, who killed her parents

But nooooo

It needed to be complicated

I'm sorry for rambling but it just bothers me so much

I don't really like Harumi, but her backstory is so confusing that i needed to point it out

Garmadon: Lloyd may I ask you something?

Lloyd: Sure thing dad, what’s your question?

Garmadon: What is a “dilf” and why are people calling me that?

*silence*

Garmadon: Lloyd? Lloyd please what is a dilf? Is it a bad thing?

*later*

Lloyd, busting in a room with all the ninja charging an energy ball in his hand: Which one of you fucks have been calling my dad a dilf?

Can't believe that these live in my head while starring the most hurtful line in Ninjago history.

Lloyd comes home with his report card: Dad, I failed Chinese—

Garmadon: I have no son.

........................

Lloyd, comes out as trans: I don't think I belong in this body, Dad.

Garmadon: I have no son.

.....................................................

Garmadon: I have no so—

Lloyd interrupts him: But you still owe me about nineteen years of child support—and yes, the Tomorrow's Tea actually counts.

...........

Bonus,

Garmadon: I have no son.

Also Garmadon moments later: picks up Christofern.

Ninjago AU where everything is the same but Garmadon wasn't purified after the Final Battle.

I just had to do this.

Lloyd's not going down without a fight.

Inspired by this post:

This week's one hour prompt was 'Fortune'

Content / trigger warning for blood, gore, self-inflicted impalement. Drawing is under the cut!

Incorrect Quotes #3

*The team staying in Yang's Temple*

Lloyd: Can we stay with you tonight?

Kai: Both of you? What happened?

Nya: Cole thought it would be funny to play with a ouija board in the attic and Zane thinks he cursed the whole temple

Lloyd: Jay wasn't any help. He doesn't know how to banish spirits, so he's just throwing salt at them and yelling "does this look like a hotel to you?!"

Kai: Get in here and lock the door

asphera shitpost kinda wanna do an au where she actually fell in love with wu and felt betrayed by him for not considering her as a real friend.

bonus

THIS IS SO WHOLESOME I'M GONNA START CRYING WTH — THANK YOU FOR THE TAG @l0on ♥️.

I haven't updated my fics in MONTHS. Three, fucking, MONTHS. The fact you even thought of me after I, in a way, basically disappeared from the fanfic world is just...is just... i'm sobbing 😭 <3 . Thank youuu.

@tolazyforaname16 you've been showing up a lot in my ask box— along with anonymous to always give me something new to add to this 1 a.m au my brain randomly decided to start. Thank you both so much for keeping the lloyd's hellspawn au alive. it's really nice to know that there are people who actually like and would gladly encourage my weird thoughts.

@lloydskywalkers reading your fics always bring a big smile on my face and i need you to know that. For heaven's sake, even your ANGST fics make me feel happy. (that doesn't mean you didn't succeed in the angsty writing part though, i'm just someone who enjoys reading about lloyd's pain.) i may NOT have begun writing fanfiction while you were still active and dropping masterpieces, but I'll always come back to your work when i need plastic legos to feel real.

@secretlyharumi you're fucking amazing, don't ever forget that. I'll fight anyone who says otherwise. I love your much darker writing style and how much I wish your Crystalized stuff was canon instead. You absolutely deserve to be hired as a writer for this show. Thank you so much for adding to this fandom and giving me good fics to add to my reading list, I love them.

(The rest are gonna be short cuz I don't think I can spend an hour writing 5 paragraphs rn. Please don't take it to heart 😭)

@legogeek33 you're the Ray Mak of Ninjago Tumblr and your AUs are golden.

@theaceofarrows your incorrect quotes live in my head rent free and I can't evict them.

@mrsnaildood i seem to love your art no matter what you post. Your drawing style creates masterpieces.

@emisnt2 your morro art is fuel for the soul. ♥️ The coolest artist I know.

@sunnylighter i am seriously hooked on your The Grass Is Always Greener series— and this is coming from someone who swore she'd never like TLNM! You're a really talented writer.

@squidsquire So many months later, and everytime I listen to Running Up That Hill, all I can think about is your Kai & Lloyd animatic.

@greenflowerceo i never thought I'd be shipping Lloyd with Brad, but here I am, and that's your fault. Not complaining though. 🤣

Thanks for showing up in my notes @squib-2006 @kerriloyal @iamgarmadone @waterhemlockbuffalo @soniiie @kingxgarm and so many more! You're all amazing.

I feel like spreading positivity so.

If you get tagged here, here's a few messages from the person who tagged you:

You are one of the coolest people I know, if not THE coolest ever. I may not have known you for long, but it feels like my whole life, and I don't know what I would do without you. If I haven't met you my life would be fundamentally different. You may have changed, but I've changed with you, and I think we've both grown a lot, and for the better.

I love seeing you create stuff! Be it art, writing, headcannons, or something you DIY-ed, I know that any time you make something it's bound to be good. Every project you start is always very exciting, even if you don't finish it! Watching you create is always very fun.

I know you have bad days, we all do. Don't hesitate to talk to me if you need to. I'm always here, I'll always listen, and I'll always do my best to try to understand and help. Know that you'll always be loved and appreciated!

Here's to our friendship growing even more in 2023!

(ps. don't feel pressured to tag anyone back! This is just to let you know that you're loved and appreciated. And if you were planning on tagging someone, but see that they've already been tagged, don't worry! This will be a message from you to them. Tag them!)