Cute
cute
Hi! I was wondering if you could do a poly! marauders where yn got sexually harassed by some Slytherins during holiday season and now she always makes excuses when the boys try to have sex with her and after the third time she made an excuse they decided to confront her? ( Sirius is my fav boy!) Thank you sooo much!
hi, hope this is around what you were looking for! i think i went a little off the prompt, but hopefully it’s close to what you wanted :)
warnings: this fic contains some pretty heavy sexual harassment, harmful thinking surrounding the harassment and the fallout of that- if you think this could be at all triggering, please don’t read. much love to you all.
hallways
marauders x fem!reader
“Look at that: mistletoe.” Drawled a sixth-year Slytherin, startling you. You hunched your shoulders, preparing for another round of harassment from the same group of boys. They always found you when you were alone, without your boys to fight them off- you felt sure that it was less dangerous to just let them do what they wanted, rather than start a duel or argue back. These Slytherins were notoriously violent and arrogant, especially their leader, and they seemed to find great amusement in taunting and touching the one thing that the marauders cared most about: you.
You hadn’t told Sirius, Remus or James. With everything going on in the world, it seemed frivolous, and you’d hate to be the cause of yet another fight. Still, every time the Slytherins made suggestive comments or grabbed your body, you could feel your resolve to grin and bear it weakening.
“Don’t look so scared,” The same Slytherin boy leered. “We just want a bit of fun.”
“Please leave me alone.” You stammered, staring at the ground and stepping backwards as he walked towards you. You caught sight of Snape standing with the group, and flashed him a pleading look, the knowledge of his past friendship with Lily Evans giving you hope, but all he did was smile mockingly.
“‘Leave you alone’?” The leader crowed. “What, and leave you to your blood traitor boyfriends? Fucking slut.” You flinched at the harsh words coupled with his hands suddenly on your waist. Your back hit the wall; there was no getting out of this. A fresh wave of fear washed over you, knowing that there was no way for you to overpower or out-duel any of them.
“S-stop.” You turned your head to the side, feeling his hot breath on your cheek and closing your eyes. There would be no student out of the classrooms right now except you; you’d only excused yourself to the bathroom, classes wouldn’t finish for another twenty minutes.
“Don’t act like you don’t want it. Bet you’d shag every boy in school if you had a chance, mudblood whore.” His hands shifted higher on your body, and you struggled to hold back tears.
“I need to get ba- to get back to class.” You said. “I promise I won’t tell, just let me go.”
“Not until I get my kiss. After all, it is almost Christmas.” He sniggered, the scent of his unwashed teeth and mouth wafting towards you. You could’ve thrown up.
“I don’t want to kiss you.” You said, eyes still clenched shut. “Please, just let me-“
Before you could finish talking, he’d grabbed your jaw tightly in one hand and forced his lips against yours. Through your humiliation and fear, you heard his cronies laughing loudly, mocking you.
The boy finally pulled back, a satisfied smile on his sweaty face. You felt nauseated, staying slumped against the wall as they hooted and laughed and walked away, the taste of him still on your lips.
Eventually, you calmed yourself. It’s fine. It happens, I’ll get over it, You thought. Next time I’ll fight back.
You knew that you were lying to yourself. Next time that the Slytherins ambushed you, you knew that you would be just as frozen, barely able to utter a protest or fight at all. You walked back to class, passing the water-fountain and drinking as much as you could to wash out the taste in your mouth.
Sirius was waiting next to your empty seat, James and Remus a row back. As you re-entered the classroom and quietly returned to your previous position, Sirius noticed your quickened breaths and slightly clammy skin, and mistook it for an entirely opposite feeling.
James and Remus exchanged a smirk with him, and he put his hand on your thigh, making you jolt.
“Shit! Sorry, Sirius.” You said quietly, noticing that you’d startled him.
“Someone’s feeling jumpy. Any reason for that, pup?” He asked teasingly, eyebrows raised in a way that, two weeks ago, would’ve had you melting. But now you felt quite differently.
“No.” You said, quickly. Too quickly.
“Are you sure, sweetheart?” You could hear James’ smile from behind you. “Because we know that usually when you’re behaving this way, it’s because-“
“-You’re needy.” Remus finished, leaning forward and tugging one of the two plaits you were wearing. You flinched at the action.
“I’m not. Please can I just finish my work?” You asked softly, tears welling in your eyes again. You knew that the boys would be exchanging very different glances now, but they didn’t keep pushing you.
After a moment, you felt Sirius’ eyes on you, and managed to make yourself meet his grey gaze. He looked genuinely concerned- an expression he only reserved for people he really cared about.
“What is it?“ You asked, somewhat irritably.
“Something’s wrong, puppy. Want to tell me what?”
You sometimes forgot how sweet Sirius was behind all that sarcasm and teasing, but now his compassion only sought to make you more upset. You shook your head and turned away, drawing in a shuddering breath. You didn’t want them to think you were looking for attention, and you didn’t want your boys to be unhappy.
“M’ fine.” You mumbled. “Just didn’t want sex.”
“That’s okay.” Sirius assured you, then grinned. “But do be sure to let us all know when that changes, darling. It’s been a while.”
“It’s been two entire weeks.” James groaned from behind you. “I know we’ve had the semester exams, but still.”
“You’re both insatiable.” You said, forcing a smile. “Maybe we can make time when we’re all here during the holidays.” That had been the plan; you were all staying at Hogwarts for the holiday break, and the four of you had all been excited for some extra quality time together. But now… you only felt dread at the thought of being touched and kissed in the same places those Slytherins had done it. You felt tainted. It hurt all the more that it was the three loveliest boys in the world who would usually touch you that way- they had made you feel loved, respected, but now all you felt when Sirius’ hand had been on your thigh was shame.
“That’s our girl.” Remus said from behind you. You suppressed a sob.
The holidays arrived four days later, during which you’d tried to avoid both the marauders and the Slytherins by pretending to be unwell. You locked yourself away in your dorm or hid in the hospital wing, although that excuse stopped working when Madame Pomfrey said you ought to be back in class by now. As your friends packed up and went back home, you gathered the courage to leave your bed and see your boyfriends again.
They were all sitting in the common-room, looking put out.
“Maybe she’s gone home.” You heard Sirius say as you descended from your room.
“No she hasn’t, see?“ James jumped to his feet at the first sight of you, rushing over and enveloping you in a huge hug. Remus and Sirius were close behind, with the former kissing your forehead softly and the latter slinging one of his arms over your shoulders. You pushed your shoulders back down as they instinctively hunched.
“Are you feeling better, sweetheart?” Remus asked once you were all seated around the fire again. “We missed you.”
“Sorry.” You said, avoiding his eyes and twisting your fingers in your lap. “I didn’t want to be a nuisance. I’m feeling better now.”
In truth, you’d only been working yourself up for the past few days. Now your stomach hurt at the very thought of school starting up again after Christmas, and the return of your attackers. The fact that you were sure to hurt the marauders’ feelings in one way or another with your lack of affection felt even worse.
James touched your knee. You swallowed. “You could never be a nuisance to us.” He said comfortingly. “We only want to help when you’re feeling unwell.”
“Thanks, Jamie.” You said, glancing momentarily at him before your gaze returned to your lap. “Um… how did classes finish up?”
“Terrible, without you.” Sirius said immediately, nudging you playfully. “I missed having something to look at when I was bored.”
You laughed at this, glad to stop frowning for a moment. “Is that all I am to you? Eye-candy?” You joked.
Sirius smirked at you. “Oh, perhaps a little more than just that…” He leaned over suddenly, kissing the spot where your neck met your shoulder. It was a spot that usually would’ve put you in the perfect mood, but feeling Remus sit on the other side of you and begin the same action, while James pulled off your shoes, all you could do was freeze. It didn’t take long for them to notice.
“Bunny, what’s wrong?” Remus asked, sitting up straight. “You’re awfully quiet.”
“Am I? Sorry.” You supplied. “Um…” You stood up abruptly, taking a few steps away from the three of them before you spoke again. “I actually have some books to return to the library- heaps of errands to run. I’ll see you at dinner?”
Sirius took hold of your hand before you could leave properly, eyes narrowed as he searched your expression. “What’s going on? Is there something we’ve done?”
“No! No, I promise you’re all fine. I’m just not in the mood today.” You forced a thin smile, then turned and walked as briskly as you could out of the common-room. You weren’t going to the library; they would only come to check on you, and you knew that you were about to cry.
All you could hear, ringing through your mind, were the cruel and vicious words you’d endured from the Slytherins for weeks on end. Sirius and Remus’ gentle kisses on your neck were only echoes of that boy’s a few days ago, no longer expressions of love to you. All you could think about every time they even suggested sex was those people calling you a ‘mudblood whore’, worthless and cheap.
You turned a final corner and pressed yourself against the wall, sinking down and dissolving into the tears that had threatened to spill all day. Your sobs echoed down the narrow stone hallway, but nobody would hear. Nearly everybody went home for Christmas these days. Your boys had stayed for you, and just look at how you were repaying them.
“Fuck.” You said after a long while, face puffy and wet with tears.
You eventually returned to the common-room, where you were once again greeted with much affection, although this time laced with even more concern than before. You curled up in a far corner of the sofa, hugging yourself, and shrugged to most questions about your mood or obvious recent tears. The boys soon gathered that you weren’t ready to talk about it, and decided to ask you when you’d had time to think. You sat tensely in a hug from James until he gathered that you weren’t comfortable and let go.
Still, your lack of closeness hurt everyone, especially you. You couldn’t bring yourself to even hug the boys, which was more a result of your guilt than your aversion to touch. You wouldn’t let them kiss you goodnight before you’d slipped up to your dorm, silent so as not to let the dozing boys know what was wrong. Only Sirius saw, the lightest sleeper of them all, and he noticed that you’d left your wand downstairs as well.
He waited up, after James and Remus had gone to bed, saying that he had some books to collect. They were both just as worried, but he knew that you would be less intimidated talking to one of them rather than all three. And Sirius had seen it in your posture, the expression on your face before you walked anywhere by yourself; he’d seen it in the mirror every day that he lived with the Black family. It was more than apprehension.
He waited on the sofas until he heard your soft footfall coming down the stairs.
“Oh.” You said quietly, seeing him on the sofa. “Sorry, I didn’t realise you were still awake.”
“No need to apologise, darling. Want to talk?”
“I’m a bit tired.” You said.
“I know, you haven’t been sleeping properly. What’s wrong, my love? You know we’ll never judge you for anything.” He said. “We only want your happiness.”
This was all happening too quickly, you were too close to telling him everything. You fought the urge. “No.” You stammered, shaking your head. “I mean, I know, I just-” A huge lump appeared in your throat, and you knew from Sirius’ expression that he had seen the tears in your eyes.
“Please, talk to me. I know that I can help somehow.” He stood, approaching you slowly.
“No!” You said in a strangled sort of voice, holding your hands out in front of you. “No, you can’t, Sirius. Please just let me go to bed, I promise I’ll do better tomorrow.”
“‘Do better’? You aren’t doing anything wrong, we just-”
“I’m tired.” You forced yourself to stand up straight, rolling your shoulders back and avoiding his concerned gaze. “I’m going to bed. Let me.”
And he did. He watched you climb the stairs again, and after a while he did the same in the opposite direction. You lay alone in your room, silent tears slipping into your hair for a long time, until you finally fell asleep.
You pushed a smile on to your lips as you walked down into the common-room the next morning, determined to be better today. You had to be, for them. You wanted to do what they wanted, to be the person they wanted.
You accepted kisses, hugs, and arms over shoulders again. You walked between them to breakfast, sat between them, let Remus lace up your ice-skates before the four of you headed onto the frozen lake. You let the cold air sting your face as you skated, ignoring the tension that was building in you. If you could pretend just a bit longer, you felt sure that it would simply slip away. And the cold was nice after days spent in bed. Your skin, sensitive with the tears that had been shed on it, felt freshened by the bite of winter.
You trooped up to your dorm in the early afternoon, muscles aching as the cold that had sunk into your bodies slowly dissipated. You let yourself climb the stairs to their dorm, Remus’ hand on the small of your back and your hand in James’. Sirius talked behind all of you- you’d been purposefully avoiding him a little, knowing that he noticed more than the others how wrong everything still was.
You sat on Remus’ bed, and kissed him, taking your jumper and t-shirt off in a movement quick enough for you not to back down. He broke the embrace only for a moment, eyes on yours in a silent question. You made yourself nod.
His hand trailed down your side, then under the waistband of your pants. You clenched your hands into fists, closing your eyes as his deft fingers grazed your sex. You felt no pleasure from the movements that would’ve usually had you mewling; you set your jaw and tried to think of something, anything else.
“Can I take your pants off, dove?” James asked quietly from the end of the bed. You drew in a shaky breath.
“Yes.” You said stiffly. But you weren’t prepared for how hard it would be to feel the fabric being taken- uncovering you. With Remus’ fingers nearly inside you, James’ warm palms touching the smooth skin of your legs, you felt ready to throw up. “Stop! STOP!” You shrieked. You reached out blindly, pushing yourself away from Remus, away from James and off the bed. You scrambled to your feet, running to the bathroom and emptying your breakfast and lunch into the toilet. You gagged twice more before your heart slowed and you could finally focus on the world around you again.
“Sweetheart, are you alright?” Remus said from beside you, his hand on your back. “One of us can get Madame Pomfrey in just a minute.”
“Don’t need her. I’m fine.” You said shakily, squeezing your eyes closed. “I’m fine.”
“You aren’t, it’s okay. Here,” Sirius was on your other side, handing you a glass of water. You sipped it reluctantly, although you were glad to have the bad taste out of your mouth.
“Bunny, you need to talk to us.” Remus said gently. “We can’t go on like this, it isn’t good for you.”
“I said I’m fine!” You said hoarsely, tears escaping your eyes nevertheless.
“Come and sit on the bed, dove, it’s more comfortable.” James said. You stood, letting them guide you into the bedroom. When you were as comfortable as you could be and you’d put one of James’ t-shirts over your body, the boys sat around you.
“You’ve been upset for weeks, darling, we’ve all noticed. What’s wrong? Why don’t you want to be near us anymore?” You could hear how hard James was trying not to sound sad himself, but you still felt even more tears falling down your cheeks at his words.
“We aren’t angry at you, we could never be angry.” Sirius said softly, handing you some tissues. “We just need to know what’s going on.”
“You can’t do anything, though.” You sobbed into the blanket you’d drawn up around yourself. “It’s nothing, I’m b-being silly.”
“Why don’t you tell us, and we’ll judge whether you are?” Remus suggested firmly. “We only want to look after you, bun, but you can’t live like this. Talk to us, please.”
You squeezed your eyes closed, clutching the blanket very hard.
“I promise that none of you have done anything to make me like this. I’m- I’ve been trying to be better, I’ll try harder-”
“Stop.” Sirius interrupted. You didn’t open your eyes, but you fell silent. “You aren’t misbehaving or doing anything wrong by being upset, puppy. We’ll all be quiet, and you can tell us when you feel ready. Just take deep breaths, we’ll wait for you.”
True to his words, the boys fell silent, the only sound in the room being your harsh gasps for air between muffled sobs. Slowly, the immediate panic subsided, and after a while you were able to breathe normally again. You wiped your face, opening your eyes slowly and looking into your lap. You swallowed, trying to summon your courage. Despite how guilty you felt, you knew deep down that telling them would help.
“You can’t do anything stupid. Please.” You whispered, glancing up at each boy and then down again. They nodded. “For the past few weeks- well, while school was still going- there’ve been a group of-” You paused, taking a breath and calming yourself again. “Some Slytherin boys have been coming up to me between classes and while I’m away and everything, and they grab me and say foul things and touch me and kiss me. And I know I’m being stupid-”
“None of that.” Sirius said immediately. “None of this is your fault.”
“Can I hold your hand, sweetheart?” James asked. You nodded, and he did. You were surprised at how relieved you suddenly felt, knowing that he still wanted to do that after knowing what had happened.
“I’m sorry that I didn’t tell all of you. I just- I don’t want to make a big deal out of nothing.”
“This isn’t nothing.” Remus said firmly. “This is serious, and we’re very proud of you for telling us, bunny. I know it was hard.”
You sniffed. “I didn’t want you to think you’d done something wrong, and that was why I wasn’t having sex with all of you. I know that I’ve been disappointing you when you’ve wanted that, I really did try today.”
You heard Remus swear under his breath, and looked up with wide eyes. He caught your expression and shook his head. “I’m not angry at you, bunny. None of us are, I promise. But you never need to do anything you don’t want to do. Do you understand?”
You nodded, and Sirius tucked your hair behind your ear. “We love you. We don’t need sex to keep loving you- we don’t need anything, but for you to be happy.” You felt a fresh wave of tears come on, and wiped your eyes. “You’ve been very brave to hold this for such a long time, but you don’t need to feel ashamed or like you could ever disappoint us.” Remus’ hand was on his shoulder.
“I love you all, too.” You said quietly. “I think I’m ready for a hug, please.”
They were quick to oblige, enveloping you in an embrace you hadn’t known how much you needed. You all eventually lay down, your head on Remus’ chest and body across James and Sirius’. Your crying calmed again, and for the first time in weeks you felt some level of relaxation. You knew this wasn’t over; you knew that they were all angry, even if not at you. But from now on, at least you had people who knew and loved you.
“I don’t know if I’ll be ready to have sex for a while. Is that okay?” You said later, still in similar positions.
“Of course, my love.” Sirius said, and the two other boys voiced their agreement.
“You can take as much time as you need, we’ll love you no matter what.” James said.
Remus hummed. “And from now on, we’ll always walk with you between classes or wherever you’re going. Those boys won’t even get close to you.”
“Exactly. If there’s anything else you want us to do that would make you feel safer- we can talk to Dumbledore, McGonagall, or nobody at all if you’d feel better.” Sirius said.
“I don’t think I want to tell anyone else, yet. But thank you.” You said. “You don’t have to walk me everywhere if it’s too much trouble, either.”
“Spending more time with you? How could that be any trouble at all?” He replied, smirking.
“Yeah, it’s not exactly a chore, darling.” James added affectionately.
You smiled, genuinely, and the world seemed a little better.
More Posts from Nattiesangel and Others
🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴
camera ࿐ james potter
pairing : shy james x cam gn reader
warnings : smut, d/s dynamics, sub james, dom reader, mommy kink, masturbation, mentions of riding, pet names
summary : shy jamie joins you <333
a/n : i hate this ahahaha
“show ‘em your pretty cock, baby” you encouraged softly as james looked up to the camera, red cheeks and shaky hands as he revealed his cock.
it was just as red as his cheeks, and james whimpered at the sight of it sitting tall and proud, on display for thousands of people. he loved it, but he felt a bit insecure too.
“hey, pretty boy” you called and his eyes shifted to yours, wide and pretty, “you’re so beautiful, okay? you’re doing so good” you caressed his thigh reassuringly.
james nodded with a gulp, still looking a bit unsure, but happy with your praise. “t-thank you, mommy.”
you hummed contently and licked your lips as you took a closer look at him. it obviously wasn’t your first time together, but he still managed to look more and more delicious every time. his weeping tip throbbed when you gripped the base of his cock, squeezing it not too hard.
“o-owie” he whimpered, biting his lip at the pathetic sound. “mommy... i need your mouth, please” he pouted up at you.
“uhm, i don’t know about that, baby” you seemed to be thinking aloud, “bet you’re gonna cum in a sec if i give you it.”
james whimpered at your teasing, brows furrowing as he struggled to keep his hips from bucking into your hand. “s just so sensitive” he whined, his thighs closing around your elbow, “j-just needa come. needa be a good boy and cum f’my mommy” babbled james, his eyes lovingly looking down at you — you sure were a sight for sore eyes, even when his mind was foggy.
giving in to him, you leaned in, taking the head of his cock into your mouth and suckling gently, your saliva and tongue cold in comparison with his hard cock. james shuddered at the feeling, throwing his head back.
you pinched his thigh as a way to make him look up again, “i’m- i’m so sorry, mommy! promise i’m sorry-” “shut up, jamie. don’t wanna hear your blabbers anymore. be good” you demanded and he obeyed immediately, eyes focused on the camera in front of him as his lips fell open.
you swirled your tongue over his tip once, twice, thrice just because you knew it would make him go insane, and then managed to take most of him down your throat, gagging slightly as you hollowed your cheeks around his throbbing cock.
“cum” he mewled, caressing your cheek as he squeezed his eyes shut. “m so close, mommy. please let me cum, please” his pathetic pleas rang in your ears, followed by his cries of pleasure, and not even caring what the audience had to say, you gave it to him.
your hands came up to play with his balls, rolling them in your hands, pulling gently and even squeezing them a bit as your mouth continued to take all of him.
james gripped the sheets in his large hands, tugging as if his life depended on it, and with a barely audible ‘go ahead, baby’ from you, his balls along with his cock started twitching, and you choked on thick ropes of cum.
he continued to cry out, but now even louder. “mommy!” he moaned loudly. strings of ‘mommy’ and ‘thank you’s spilled from his swollen lips as his body spasmed and jerked.
but that didn’t stop you. and instead, you swallowed his cum and hurried up on your feet, your legs straddling his hips in the blink of an eye.
when your cunt made contact with his overused cock, james completely lost it. “i-i came, mommy! i came, please- hurts so bad- want more.”
the incoherent words left his lips and you laughed almost maniacally, leaning forward so your face was closer to his. “ve turned you into my personal dumb little baby, hm?” you asked and he pouted, his bottom lip quivering, “but don’t worry, pretty boy. mommy will take care of you, okay?”
with a fervent nod, james kissed you deeply, breathily murmuring, “please ruin me, mommy.”
nails
navigation // request // masterlist
*reader- a student, dovey and lesso meeting at a ball at the fruit table*
dovey: oh lesso i see you did your nails lately. oh my, but why would you shorten only those three?
*all three of you look down at lesso’s right hand, noticing shorter nails of her index, middle and ring finger*
*lesso smirking looking at dovey*
reader: noo lesso, don’t you dare!
lesso: i wasn’t gonna say anything, darling.
*reader stares at her not believing in a single word*
*dovey looks at the two of you and the realisation slowly hits her*
dovey: oh my! lesso!
*reader shakes her head and joins other students on the dance floor. lesso follows her by eyes still smirking*
lesso: i just didn’t want to cause my pet any pain. at least by that.
dovey: lesso!
>
just a quick situation that came up to my mind skdhsjsks (also a bit inspired by this)
*checks the age gap between me and my favorite actors*
also me:
loved this sooo sooo muchhh!!!! you're an amazing author!
'i know who you are' masterlist
Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader
Series Summary: A fall on patrol causes you to lose your long term memory, forgetting the identities of your friends and loved ones. You have to learn all over again how to survive in a post-apocalyptic world, and you learn things about yourself along the way.
-or-
Joel has to make you fall in love with him all over again.
Series Warnings: smut MDNI (18+), post outbreak, language, angst, hurt/comfort, graphic depictions of violence, amnesia, slow burn, minor infidelity - more warnings will be stated for each chapter
Status: complete
I started a notifications blog in lieu of a taglist: @punkshort-notifs
Chapters:
1: the beginning
2: the journal
3: the accident
4: the others
5: the dinner
6: the fight
7: the week
8: the return
9: the end
Extras/BTS/Inspo:
Floor Plan
Pregnancy Scare headcanon
Drabbles/Requests:
Never Enough - a day in the life pre-accident
Before - the morning of the accident
Jealous - you finds out about Angie (the first time)
Stubborn - the night Joel convinces you to make things official
It didn't mean anything - Joel finds out about your history with Ben for the first time
Three Words - You remember another memory, this one more special than the rest
dividers by @saradika-graphics
Can I request a fluff Alexia fic??🥺🥺
Between Rivals and Roses
YN -> your name. YLN -> your last name.
hope that u will like it
2,1k of words! masterlist woso1 woso2 woso3
You never meant to like her.
In fact, you were supposed to dislike her.
Alexia Putellas—Spain’s golden girl, the beating heart of FC Barcelona, and the bane of your existence every time El Clásico rolled around. And you? The French firecracker in Real Madrid’s midfield, signed with pride and pressure on your shoulders.
You met her on the pitch first. Cold stares, sharp tackles, a smirk she wore like war paint.
“Careful, francesa,” she murmured during your first ever Clásico, brushing your shoulder with hers. “You might melt under the pressure.”
You narrowed your eyes, heart racing. “Not likely, reina. Worry about yourself.”
It was the start of something strange.
Because every match after that, she sought you out. A glance. A brush of hands when passing by. Words exchanged under the roar of the crowd—sometimes biting, sometimes teasing.
But off the pitch… that’s where things blurred.
You saw her at an awards gala in Madrid, dressed in red and gold like sin itself. She spotted you across the room, lifted her glass with that signature smirk, and you felt your heart hiccup.
The first real conversation happened after an international friendly. Spain vs France. The game had ended in a draw, tension thick but smiles exchanged as the teams shook hands.
“You were brilliant,” she said, stopping you in the tunnel. “You always are.”
You blinked. “Is that a compliment from Alexia Putellas?”
She shrugged, eyes twinkling. “Maybe. Or maybe I’m just trying to distract you before the next Clásico.”
You laughed. Mistake.
Because after that, she messaged you. Once. Then again. Then it became a habit.
Training selfies. Voice notes of her teasing your accent. You sending her croissant emojis after she lost a match. Her sending you a Barcelona jersey with your name ironed on the back as a joke (you wore it once—alone—in your apartment, just to see).
The press would lose their minds if they knew.
The team would raise eyebrows.
But when she met you in a quiet café in Madrid on your day off, hood pulled low, and reached for your hand like it was the most natural thing in the world, you didn’t stop her.
"You’re still annoying,” you whispered, sipping your coffee.
"And you're still dramatic,” she smiled, lacing your fingers together anyway. “But I like you like that.”
There were still fierce matches, still red cards and screaming fans. She’d shove you on the pitch, and wink when the ref wasn’t looking. You’d tackle her hard and mouth Oops with the most sarcastic smile possible.
But later, in hotel rooms after national call-ups, or during secret weekends in little Spanish towns where no one cared about rivalries, she'd kiss you like you were hers. Soft and sweet and nothing like the war you waged on the field.
“Someday,” she whispered against your skin once, breath warm and slow, “I’ll play beside you. Club, country, doesn’t matter. Just… not against you.”
You smiled into her hair, heart full.
“Until then,” you murmured, “we’ll just have to keep pretending we hate each other.”
Alexia chuckled. “We’re so good at pretending.”
But neither of you let go.
You swore you were being careful.
No Instagram likes. No lingering glances when the cameras were around. No replies to her stories, even when she posted a stupid selfie with her dog and you nearly melted on your hotel bed.
You were careful.
Until you weren’t.
It started with Olga.
You were coming back from international duty—France had played Spain, again. A brutal match. You and Alexia had “accidentally” collided three times, and at one point, you’d whispered, “Hit me any harder and I’ll take it personally.”
To which she smirked and replied, “Don’t tempt me, mi amor.”
Which you definitely did not think about on the flight back.
But Olga must’ve noticed something. Because when you came into training the next day, all smiles and a bit too floaty for someone who’d spent 90 minutes getting elbowed by her "rival," she gave you that look.
“Why are you smiling like that?” she asked, squinting at you across the locker room.
You blinked. “Like what?”
“Like you kissed someone. Or stole Barça’s playbook.”
You choked on your water bottle. “I did not kiss anyone.”
Technically true. Not during the match. Not in the stadium.
Olga narrowed her eyes. “Hmm.”
She didn’t bring it up again. Not directly.
But during a post-match interview a few weeks later—after a tense draw between Real and Barça—Alexia had done it again. She’d caught your eye from across the field, mouthed “Nice try”, and winked.
You glared at her (playfully), then immediately had to look away to hide your smile.
The next day, while reviewing match footage, Olga leaned over your shoulder.
“Funny,” she murmured, pausing the video. “This moment here—when Alexia looks at you like you're the last pain au chocolat on Earth. Very sportsmanlike, huh?”
You turned slowly. “You’re imagining things.”
“Oh, am I?”
You were doomed.
Later that evening, in the privacy of your apartment, your phone buzzed.
Alexia [19:32]: Olga knows??
You [19:33]: She suspects. She paused a wink. She’s basically Sherlock Holmes now.
Alexia [19:34]: Told you I wink too much 😭
You [19:34]: No. I told you that. Every time. And you still do it.
Alexia [19:35]: Can’t help it. You’re cute when you’re flustered.
You rolled onto your back and groaned into your pillow.
Later that week, a national break arrived. You had three free days. You told your teammates you were visiting your cousin in Zaragoza. Technically not a complete lie. You just… didn’t specify who you were staying with.
When you arrived at Alexia’s apartment, she opened the door in sweatpants and socks with little Spanish flags on them.
You pointed. “You are so on-brand, it’s ridiculous.”
She pulled you in by the collar. “And you’re late.”
You spent the night curled up on her couch, watching a movie with half-eaten popcorn between you. She kissed your temple during a quiet scene and you thought, Rivalries be damned.
But the next morning, as you scrolled through your phone, you stopped on Olga’s latest Instagram story.
It was a selfie. Her, with a very suspicious eyebrow raise. The caption?
“Hope your ‘cousin’ is nice. 😏”
You froze.
Alexia leaned over your shoulder and cackled. “Oh, she knows.”
You groaned, burying your face in her shoulder. “I’m never going to live this down.”
She kissed the top of your head. “Guess we’ll just have to score more goals and make her too busy to care.”
“…Or just tell her.”
“Or that.”
You sighed. “Maybe next week.”
Alexia smiled and handed you her mug. “Next week, then. For now, drink your coffee, ma belle rivale.”
You smiled into the rim. Maybe being bad at hiding wasn’t so bad after all.
Word spreads fast in football circles.
Faster, even, when it’s scandalous. When it’s unexpected. When it’s you and Alexia Putellas.
You don’t know how someone from Barça found out. Maybe it was a screenshot. A message left open. A little too much softness in her smile when she looked at you during warmups.
Either way, you felt it the moment you stepped onto the pitch for El Clásico.
Something was off.
The Barcelona girls weren’t just sharp—they were cold. You’d gotten used to the bite, sure, but this was personal. You caught Aitana staring at you like she knew everything. Like she was just waiting for you to slip.
And then it happened.
67th minute. The ball bounced loose at midfield. You sprinted. So did Alexia.
You didn’t see her until the last second—her body shifted, your foot came down, and suddenly she was on the ground, clutching her ankle.
“Shit—Alexia!” you dropped down beside her instantly, panic blooming in your chest.
But she looked up at you, pale and in pain, and whispered, “I know it wasn’t on purpose.”
Too late.
Because by then, they were there.
Mapi was the first. “Qué carajo estás haciendo?!” she snapped, grabbing your shoulder and yanking you back.
“Hey—HEY!” you shouted, hands up, trying to explain. “It was an accident!”
“You injured her!” Ona growled, stepping between you and Alexia.
“I didn’t mean to—”
That’s when it happened.
A fist. A blur. Pain blossomed across your cheek as Mapi punched you. Full force.
Everything went still.
You staggered back, clutching your face, eyes wide. The ref was screaming. Your teammates rushed over. Olga was already shoving between you and Mapi, yelling in Spanish, hands flying.
You didn’t even register the red card.
Didn’t care.
Because Alexia was still on the ground.
You broke free, ignoring the chaos, pushing past the ref to kneel beside her again.
“I swear I didn’t mean to,” you whispered, your voice breaking.
She reached up—barely—and touched your arm, eyes glassy. “I know. I know, mi amor.”
They took her off the pitch a few minutes later. You were sent off. Your coach looked like she wanted to strangle someone. Maybe you. Maybe Mapi. Maybe both.
The tunnel was dead silent.
Until footsteps echoed.
You looked up from the bench outside the medical room—and froze.
Mapi.
“Here to break my nose too?” you muttered bitterly, ice pack pressed against your cheek.
She crossed her arms, jaw clenched. “…She’s family to us.”
“I love her,” you snapped back, voice raw. “Don’t you get that? I would never hurt her.”
Mapi paused. Something in her expression shifted. “She defended you before they even finished checking her ankle. Said it wasn’t your fault. Said to tell you she was okay.”
You exhaled sharply. Relief hit you like a wave, and your shoulders dropped.
Mapi studied you for a long moment. “Just… don’t make her cry, francesa.”
Then she walked away.
Later that night, you were in your hotel room, half-asleep, when your phone buzzed.
Alexia [22:17]: I told them the truth. That it was an accident. Also, they’re banned from touching you ever again 😅 My ankle’s just bruised. I’m okay.
You stared at the message, tears burning the back of your throat.
Then another ping.
Alexia [22:18]: Come see me tomorrow?
You [22:18]: I’ll be there. With ice cream and a very bruised face.
Alexia [22:19]: Perfect. We’ll match.
You showed up at her door with a bruised cheek, two tubs of ice cream, and three kinds of guilt pressing on your chest.
Alexia opened the door in a hoodie three sizes too big, messy bun in full force, and a soft smile that made your knees weak.
“You look like you got hit by a truck,” she said gently, tilting her head.
You lifted the tub in your hand. “And you look like you need bubblegum ice cream and ten apologies.”
She stepped aside and let you in without another word.
You didn’t realize how tense you were until she curled into your side on the couch, her head resting against your shoulder like it always belonged there.
For a few minutes, you just sat there—eating in silence, your fingers brushing, the TV playing something neither of you were watching.
Then she looked up at you.
“You really scared me, you know,” she whispered. “Not because of the tackle. Because of your face when they came for you.”
You winced. “I couldn’t even explain. They were already ready to kill me.”
She reached up and ran her fingers carefully along the bruise on your cheek. “Mapi’s going to apologize. Eventually. I told her everything. That we’ve been… us.”
You turned your head toward her. “And what did she say?”
Alexia smiled faintly. “That you’d better be serious about me.”
You swallowed hard. “I am.”
Her expression softened like the evening light outside the window. “Good. Because I am too.”
She leaned up, kissed the edge of your jaw—lightly, careful of the bruise. You closed your eyes, letting yourself breathe for the first time since that tackle.
The next day, you returned to Real Madrid’s training ground.
And the second you stepped into the locker room, all eyes were on you.
Olga crossed her arms, eyebrow raised. “So…”
You blinked. “So… what?”
She smirked. “How’s your cousin?”
Groans filled the room, followed by laughter. Even Athenea threw a towel at you. “Seriously?! Alexia?!”
You sighed and slumped into the nearest bench. “Is everyone psychic here?”
“To be fair,” Misa said, “you’re not exactly subtle.”
“I tackled her,” you muttered.
Olga leaned closer. “Yeah. And then you looked like your soul left your body. It was weirdly romantic.”
You covered your face. “This is a nightmare.”
Olga nudged your shoulder. “Relax. We’re not mad. Just shocked.”
“She’s Alexia Putellas,” Athenea added. “And you’re you. Honestly? Kind of iconic.”
A long beat.
Then Olga grinned. “If you bring her to the next team dinner, I will make her wear a Real Madrid scarf.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
You sighed but couldn’t help smiling. “You’re all the worst.”
Later that night, your phone buzzed.
Alexia [20:10]: I told Patri about us too. She just sighed and said “finally.” Apparently we were never subtle.
You [20:11]: I think our teams might ship us more than we do.
Alexia [20:12]: Is that even possible?
You [20:12]: Not when you look at me like that after every tackle 😏
Alexia [20:13]: You tackled me ONCE. Calm down.
You [20:13]: Okay but I cried after. That’s romance, Putellas.
Alexia [20:14]: Come over.
You [20:14]: Already on my way.
um i am a slut😊
spencer reid x reader x derek morgan
cw 18+ oral (m receiving), daddy kink
“you look so pretty sucking daddy’s cock baby..” you purred, looking down at where spencer was sat on his knees, derek’s cock deep inside of his mouth.
“he does, doesn’t he?” derek spoke, his voice low and seductive, a groan falling from his lips as spencer whined around his cock at both of your praises.
spencer slowly started bobbing his head on morgans cock, his tongue running along the sensitive underside of dereks cock, causing derek to throw his head back an moan as spencer’s warm, wet mouth enveloped him.
you smiled as you watched the scene in front of you, before turning your head towards derek’s to catch his lips in a passionate kiss. you drank in his moans, eyes opening slightly to see spencer staring up at you, his pupils blown with lust.
you broke apart from derek, both of you looking down towards spencer, his eyes watering as he gagged slightly or derek’s length.
you laughed lightly as you looked lower, spencer’s cock standing up against his stomach, the now red tip leaking against him.
“look how much he enjoys choking on your cock.. such a slut.” you laughed sadistically.
“wanna choke some more baby?” derek asked. spencer nodded his head the best he could and whined lightly around derek’s cock, the vibration causing him to gasp and buck lightly into spencer’s warm mouth.
you watched as derek brought his hand down to tangle in spencer’s soft curls, and smiled as he pushed spencer’s head further down on his cock, before pulling him back up, so his mouth only wrapped around the tip.
spencer moaned louder, tears dripping down his cheeks as derek used him for his own pleasure, his own cock twitching and leaking more pre come against his stomach.
derek came with a shout, slamming spencer down on his cock so that he swallowed all of his hot release.
their greed truly sickens me (IT SHOULD BE MEE)
Hope Tumblr is ok with this one
Their greed sickens me.
Every friend group… {insp.}
🥹🥹
𝙷𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙲𝙰𝙽𝙾𝙽𝚂 ✶⋆.˚ 𝚆𝙸𝙵𝙴!𝚂𝙴𝚅𝙸𝙺𝙰 𝚇 𝙵𝙴𝙼!𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙴𝚁
no warnings—just fluff.
𑄝⌇sevika is surprisingly sweet with kids.. calmer, softer, careful. but for some reason, kids never like her. they avoid to be in the same place as her and shrink away the moment she steps near. it makes your piss boil. one time, a particular four-year-old piece of shit had the audacity to burst into tears just because sevika glanced in his direction. without hesitation, you ‘accidentally’ nudged your foot forward, just enough to make him trip over. sevika nearly choked on her own spit trying to hold in her laugh as she watched your proud little smug smile.
𑄝⌇whenever you and sevika go out for dinner or a little get together, you always end up playing a game—cards, never have i ever, uno.. any silly game you two can think of. for some reason, every single time, you two end up getting so excited about it that you attract glances from everyone around. “draw four, pretty girl.” she smirks. “girl—fuck you.”
𑄝⌇sevika has an insane amount of pain tolerance—but she will always have the biggest fear of colds, fevers, or anything that causes headaches in general. you always stay by her side and make her a hot drink. she’s always wrapped in a blanket like a little worm as she watches you make her flavored tea, too.
𑄝⌇sevika loves nose kisses—loves giving them as well as receiving them.
𑄝⌇sevika never feels the need to brag about you in public. she doesn’t need to tell people how perfect, cute, or adorable you are—she already knows. to her, that’s something personal, something just for the two of you.
𑄝⌇sevika has an impeccable sense of fashion, and because of that, you’re always up her ass, whining for her to pick out your outfit from head to toe. “those jeans are ass,” she scrunches her nose in mild disgust. “you’re only saying that because i bought them without asking for your opinion,” you retort, but she glares back at you like you just murdered her parents.
𑄝⌇sevika’s taste in music is insane—she knows all the right tracks, from old-school rock to the newest underground hits. but one day, you played one of your ridiculously loud country songs, and somehow, it got stuck in her head. days later, you caught her humming the tune under her breath as she worked. she froze halfway through, eyes tightening, and muttered bitterly, “i’m so disappointed in myself.”
𑄝⌇sevika genuinely believes she’s terrible at comforting people—always unsure of what to say, what to do. but every time you’re in her arms, soft and trembling with tears, she can’t help but notice how easily you melt into her. the way you relax, your breaths slowing as you burrow closer… it doesn’t exactly convince either of you that she’s bad at it. “breathe for me, sugar. in through that little nose..”
𑄝⌇when she’s bored, sevika will bother you in the most subtle ways—like moving your stuff just slightly to the left so you’ll notice but not enough to be sure if it’s her. she thinks it’s hilarious, and you’re just left wondering if you’ve lost your mind.
𑄝⌇sevika always sleeps on top of you. she’s like a heavy, warm blanket that refuses to be moved. no matter how much space the bed has, she insists on curling up right on top of you, effectively trapping you in a cozy but slightly suffocating cuddle. she’ll nuzzle into your neck, mumble something about needing “closeness,” and fall asleep faster than you can protest. you’ve learned to embrace it, though, because there’s something oddly comforting about having her weight on top of you. the real challenge will always be trying to get up without waking her, because if you try, she’ll groggily mumble “stay,” and drag you right back to bed.
𑄝⌇sevika loves gossiping—will never admit it though.
𑄝⌇she always remembers how you take your tea. even when you change it up, even when you forget yourself—she doesn’t. she hands you a cup before you even ask, grinning when you blink at her like she just read your mind.
𑄝⌇she never sleeps facing the door. she sleeps facing you. always.
𑄝⌇sevika and you share food like it’s a sacred ritual. you both order different dishes, but somehow, every meal ends with your plates being mixed together.. whether you like it or not. she’ll stare at your food like it’s the last meal on earth and then slide a forkful onto her plate without asking. you’ll give her a side eye, but she just shrugs and says, “you never finish it anyway.” It’s become a game, where you try to sneak a bite from her dish, and she’ll respond by swiping something off your plate in return. it’s a silent, competitive love language that only the two of you understand.
wait for me to come home
alexia putellas x reader
word count: 14.1k
You and Alexia have been best friends your whole lives. You’re adamant that moving away from Barcelona won’t change a thing between you. Alexia fears otherwise.
or classic best friends to lovers :)
“Can’t believe you’re really leaving.” It was midnight. You were sitting on your usual spot at the beach with Alexia, your head on her shoulder, both of you staring out at the sea. Despite the tightness in her chest, Alexia felt at ease with you next to her.
“I can’t believe it either,” you replied, your voice barely a whisper.
Alexia took a deep breath. You were only going away for a year, you said. It did nothing to calm the nerves she felt all over. One year, but that would be the longest you've been away from each other. Alexia still didn’t know how to feel, she didn’t know what to feel. She figured it still hadn’t sunk in, that you were leaving. Leaving her.
In the morning when Alexia would drop you off at the airport and you’d wave goodbye, that was probably when she’d feel everything. That was probably when the feeling of emptiness would set.
“I’ll call you everyday,” you said, hugging Alexia’s left arm tightly. “It will be like I’m still in Barcelona with you.”
Alexia chuckled, “You don’t have to call me everyday, cariño.”
You turned your head towards your best friend. “Are you saying you don’t want me to call everyday?”
“Don’t twist my words!” Alexia laughed. “It’s just that I don’t want you to feel pressured to have to call me everyday. You’re a busy woman. I’m the one who waits for you whenever you have night shifts and I watch enough of your Meredith Grey shows to know how busy things at the hospital can be.”
You snickered at her mention of Grey’s Anatomy. Alexia would always complain about how unrealistic the show was whenever you put it on, yet she still stayed by your side and watched the damn thing. You placed your head back on her shoulder and sighed. “I don’t care if I’m busy, I’ll always make time for you.”
Alexia gulped. It was the way you said it, your voice small, yet your tone firm, as if a world where you didn’t have time for her was just impossible. “I love you, you know.”
Alexia furrowed her brows when you didn’t answer straight away like you always did. She was about to open her mouth to say something, when you pulled away and stood up, stretching your hand out for her to take.
“Do you want to head back?” Alexia asked.
“No,” you cleared your throat. “Let’s just walk around. The sand is making me itchy.”
“It’s because you’re wearing shorts,” Alexia took your hand and stood up. “I told you you can sit on my lap, you didn’t listen.”
You dusted off the sand from the back of your legs. “Didn’t want to.”
“Why? It’s comfy.”
“How would you know? You’ve never sat on your own lap before,” you said, your tone teasing.
“Idiota.”
You kept walking along the beach, swinging your arms back and forth. It was quiet, but nice. Just the two of you, enjoying each other’s presence. Alexia felt her heart twinge when she realized that she didn’t know when she’d have another moment like this with you.
“Y/n,” Alexia spoke up after a few moments.
You hummed in reply.
This felt really nice, the way your hands were intertwined… Your shoulders bumping every now and then… Everything felt so right. Alexia took a deep breath and tried her best to not let herself get too emotional. She didn’t want to cry just yet, she knew she wouldn’t be able to stop if she did.
“Ale, what were you going to say?”
“I’m in love with you.”
Alexia immediately shook her head, reminding herself not to let those words slip. She looked down and focused on the way her feet were kicking the sand with every step she took forward. “Nothing.”
You brought Alexia’s hand up to your lips and kissed the back of it. It was something you always did, but it still made Alexia’s heart drop every time.
Maybe it was because the gesture had always made Alexia fall for you even more, or maybe it was because Alexia knew the platonic way it meant to you when Alexia wanted more than that.
“I know you, Ale,” you stopped walking and turned towards her. “You’re thinking about something.”
“Hm? What makes you think so?”
You poked Alexia’s forehead softly. “You have that crinkle between your brows. And you’ve been biting your lip for the past few minutes.”
Alexia hated the fact that you knew her so well, because it meant that she could never hide anything from you. The only thing Alexia successfully kept hidden were her feelings for you. Apart from that, you knew her better than anyone, and she was the same to you.
Having known each other for more than two decades was a factor, but Alexia felt like it was simply because you were soulmates.
Alexia realized that no matter how hard she tried to move on from you, you would always be the one for her. Even though you didn’t feel the same way, she knew it would never change how she felt about you. She made her peace with it.
“It’s nothing,” Alexia said once more. “I swear.” You seemed to take the hint and didn’t pry further.
You tugged her hand and continued on walking, Alexia turning her head to the side every now and then, observing you. It was dark, the street lights were dim, and the moonlight wasn’t too bright, yet Alexia can still mention every little detail of your face—she had memorized them all after years of looking at you—from your warm eyes, to the delicate bridge of your nose, and the curve of your small lips. You were so beautiful that Alexia always felt breathless every time she looked at you, despite having known you since you were kids.
In that moment, with you humming along to a random song, your right hand interlocked with Alexia’s left one, there was nothing Alexia wanted more than to just confess her feelings for you. But she knew that you didn’t feel the same way, so telling you would just be pointless.
You turned your head to look at Alexia, catching her staring at you with that look on her face, the one look that you never could quite comprehend. When your lips formed a soft smile, Alexia couldn’t help but instantly reciprocate. Your smile was beautiful.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” you asked, your tone bashful.
“I’m in love with you.”
“I’m so, so in love with you.”
“I’m so in love with you that my heart hurts every time you smile.”
Alexia shrugged. “Just thinking about how I will miss you a lot.”
“Ah,” you nodded. “So that was what you were thinking about earlier?”
“No. I was thinking about how I’m so hopelessly in love with you.”
“You got me,” Alexia replied instead.
You sighed, squeezing her hand. “I’ll miss you too. At least you have a million pictures of me in your phone that you can look at if you’re missing me.”
Alexia laughed at that. “You better have a million pictures of me too.”
“Of course, I do,” you snickered. “Even you in diapers, I have them all.”
“No, you don’t!”
“I do! Eli sent them to me.” You had asked Eli for pictures of baby Alexia and she didn’t disappoint. They were adorable, especially the one where Alexia was learning how to crawl, wearing nothing but her diapers.
“You better not show it to anyone.”
“I’ll post it on Instagram before I leave.”
Alexia rolled her eyes, “You’re such a brat sometimes.”
“I’m such a brat?” you let go of Alexia’s hand to pull out your phone from your pocket. You stopped walking so Alexia stopped too, arms crossed, waiting for whatever it was you were doing.
After a few seconds of you scrolling silently through your phone, you flashed your screen to Alexia, showing the picture you mentioned before. “Want to say that again, Putellas?”
“You’re so annoying,” Alexia groaned. “I swear to god if you post that—”
“Watch me.” Your face was smug.
“Y/n,” Alexia said slowly, her tone full of warning.
You grinned, tapping something on the screen before you started running. The sound of your laughter getting smaller and smaller as you ran further away.
“That little—” Alexia cursed under her breath before she started running after you. “Tonta! Come back!”
“No!” Your figure was getting tinier and tinier that Alexia couldn’t help but laugh along.
Eventually, Alexia was able to catch up with you once you stopped running. Your hands were on your hips, trying to catch your breath.
“Why are you making me exercise at one in the morning?” Alexia asked, exhaling loudly.
You shrugged in reply, still out of breath. Alexia had always been the more athletic one out of the two of you. “Just wanted to run.”
“I’m so tired,” Alexia groaned. “Training was tough today.”
You rolled your eyes. You knew she was just being dramatic. “That was nothing. You need to exercise more, Ale.”
“The nerve!” Alexia barked out a laugh. “Who’s the athlete here?”
“Not you if that run tires you out.”
Alexia smiled fondly at you. You get on her nerves a lot. She wouldn’t have it any other way. “Now what did you do? Did you post that on Instagram? Because I’ll kill you, idiota.”
“Oh no, I’m sooo scared,” you mockingly said, a pout on your lips. “Oh nooo.”
Alexia narrowed her eyes at you before she stepped forward and tickled your stomach.
“What are you—Alexia! Ale-Alexia stop it! Stop it right now!”
“Not until you delete that picture!” Alexia kept on tickling you. “Delete it!”
You were both laughing and Alexia didn’t show any signs of stopping until you tripped. You would’ve fallen to the ground if it weren’t for Alexia’s quick reflexes, her arms immediately encircling around your waist.
You were staring at each other, your breath heavy from all the laughter that had long died out. Alexia felt dizzy. Your lips were so close to hers, Alexia could just lean forward and all her questions about how your lips taste would be answered. Alexia saw you blinking back a couple of times, she even swore she saw your eyes dart to her lips.
The street lights were illuminating your features perfectly and Alexia could see your lips twitching slightly—as if you wanted to close the distance between you too.
Suddenly your phone rang, breaking you two apart. You cleared your throat and answered your phone.
Alexia let out the deep breath she was holding, rubbing the back of her neck. She had a feeling that she would kiss you if the phone rang a second too late, which would be a disaster. She was thankful to whoever called, because she would never forgive herself if she ruined your friendship just because of her stupid feelings.
“Sorry,” you said. “That was Leila, just asking what time I’d be at the airport tomorrow.”
“Right.” There it was again, the unsettling feeling in her stomach every time Leila was mentioned. Alexia swallowed hard, trying her best not to show her jealousy. She was the one who introduced you to Leila when you joined a night out with the Barcelona girls. Alexia didn’t know that you two would hit it off. She didn’t know that Leila would move to Manchester and shockingly, you got offered a job at one of the best hospitals in Manchester.
It felt like the universe was playing some cruel joke.
Alexia had to keep reminding herself that you weren’t hers, that you had every right to be with whoever you wanted. Alexia had no right to be jealous.
“That’s very cool, by the way,” Alexia said, putting her hands in the pockets of her jeans. “How you two are somehow going to the same country, same city.”
“Yeah, Codi said it was fate or something.”
Fate? Me tripping over your leg at the playground when we were five was fate. Me immediately crying and you wiping my tears away until my mom came was fate. That was meant to happen because it made my mom invite you and your mom over for dinner, and it made us become best friends ever since. That was fate. Leila going to the same city as you was merely a coincidence.
“Sure,” Alexia said, swallowing the bitterness in her mouth. “If that’s what you think.”
You sighed. “I don’t know. Ask me again in a year or so and I’ll tell you if Leila and I are fated or not.”
Alexia didn’t answer, instead she just kept on staring at you, taking in the sight of you standing in front of her for the last time.
In the morning, you were leaving. You’d have a new life in Manchester, one that Alexia wouldn’t be a big part of, seeing how she was all the way in Barcelona.
Alexia tried to bury deep, deep inside the pain that kept on reappearing every now and then, but it was getting increasingly difficult with the way you looked back at her—your eyes full of tenderness, as if you felt the same way Alexia did, as if it killed you to not be able to say exactly what you wanted to say.
But Alexia shrugged it off. There was no time to think about these made-up scenarios in her head. You were leaving soon.
Alexia stepped forward and hugged you as tight as she could, wanting to remember the way you felt in her embrace.
—
You kept your promise and called Alexia everyday. It lasted for two months before things became more hectic for the two of you and the daily calls stopped. In your defense, you really did try your best, but some days you had late night shifts and when you didn’t, you had date nights with Leila.
“Cariño! I haven’t heard your voice in two days! That is crazy. I was wondering if you were still alive.”
“Ha ha. So funny, Alexia.”
“Such a busy woman.”
Alexia was thriving even more if that was even possible, scoring more goals and assists, earning her more media duties and appearances. She was busy too.
You would catch her on your television sometimes, an interview or replays of her games. You were used to it, you knew Alexia before and after her rise to fame. But without the back and forth texts, without the calls and hearing her voice, without having her next to you, Alexia had never felt so out of reach.
“Hey, is it a bad time?”
“Hola, princessa. ‘m about to sleep. So tired. Call me tomorrow?”
“Okay, Ale. Sweet dreams.”
“Love you.”
Weeks with limited communication turned into months and the next thing you knew, you went from knowing everything about Alexia’s life, to finding out she had a girlfriend from your girlfriend.
Apparently Olga was a mutual friend. Leila had only good things to say about her.
You called Alexia that night, asking her about it. She didn’t have much to say, a tell-tale sign that she was uncomfortable, but why she was uncomfortable you couldn’t decipher it.
“Is she good to you at least?”
“Yeah.”
“Does she make you happy?”
“Sí.”
“Then that’s all that matters.”
For the first time since you’ve known her, you felt like a stranger in Alexia’s life. You couldn’t tell exactly when things changed. It must’ve been the depleting texts sent each day, the less and less phone calls until it went down to none at all for a week or two, and when you two did have time for a call, it felt… awkward.
The first argument started when Alexia casually joked about how you were so busy and you didn’t have time for her anymore, how you have a more exciting life now in Manchester. She was laughing but you just got off a twelve hour shift at work and you were exhausted.
“Like you’re not the same?” you fired back, feeling a headache coming through.
Instead of changing the subject like you hoped she would, Alexia rebutted your claim. “I do have time for you.”
You let out a laugh. “Between football and your new girlfriend? You don’t, Ale. Don’t act otherwise.”
“Wow. Okay.”
You seemed to instantly snap out of it at the tone of her voice. Alexia sounded hurt and for a second, you felt guilty for starting a fight. But what she said hurt you too, because even though she said it in a joking way, you knew she meant it.
“Sorry,” you sighed. “Can we talk tomorrow? I’m not in the mood.”
“Right, yeah. Bye.”
The arguments seemed to snowball after that first one. Your calls were still rare, but when you or Alexia forced yourselves to call the other, it didn’t end well.
That should be the first warning sign for you—how you felt forced to call her when you used to want to hear her voice all the time.
“How was your day?”
“It was fine.”
“Can you at least act like you’re excited to talk to me?”
“If we’re just going to fight, Ale, you shouldn’t have called.”
“Whatever. Good night.”
The next thing you knew, there wasn’t a call that went by without some small, unimportant argument.
It got worse when you told her you weren’t staying for only one year as originally planned. You liked it here in Manchester. You had a good job and you were surrounded by wonderful people.
Alexia ignored you for the whole day only to call you early in the morning, her voice raspier than usual. You knew that meant she spent the night crying.
“You don’t know when you’ll be back?”
“I don’t know when I’ll be back in Barcelona, no.”
“How am I supposed to go for… what? Another year without you? Two years? More?”
“You’ve been doing just fine so far. I don’t see the problem, Ale.”
“I miss you every night that you're not here. I don’t think that's doing ‘fine’.”
“Oh c’mon. We haven't been the same.”
“Just because we haven’t been talking as much doesn’t mean that I love you less, but whatever.”
It got even worse when you were supposed to fly back to Spain for Alexia’s birthday, but you had to cancel at the last minute because you were stuck with an emergency case at the hospital.
In hindsight, it was a stupid reason, something you could totally resolve by having one of your co-workers take over for you. But your mind went into overdrive, you somehow convinced yourself that you couldn’t leave the country.
Maybe it was out of fear of seeing Alexia again, not wanting to see how the distance had changed your dynamics.
Alexia’s reaction when you told her you weren’t going to be there hurt more than you could admit.
“You’d never miss my birthday and I’d never miss yours. That was a promise.”
“We were seven, Alexia.”
Alexia didn’t say anything else and you didn’t need to see her face to know how dejected she was. You ignored the pain in your chest, convincing yourself that you were doing the right thing. You didn’t need to fly for more than two hours for someone’s birthday.
The old you would’ve screamed at you if she knew what you were doing. Alexia wasn’t just someone. She was… she was your everything and more.
When midnight rolled around and you would usually be next to Alexia, wishing her a happy birthday with a present in hand, and instead you were all the way in Manchester, you felt that maybe you were dumb to let the arguments get in your head.
You took a deep breath and texted her a happy birthday. You weren’t sure if she would pick up if you called.
Alexia didn’t reply to your text until noon that day, saying how she was off to celebrate with her family as usual and she’d call you after dinner. She didn’t mention Olga, but you knew she was there from Alba.
You sat in your apartment alone in the dark, Leila was out with her friends. It was only then that it dawned on you how lonely you were. You couldn’t imagine how Alexia was feeling—that was, if she still cared about you.
You had been there for Alexia’s birthday ever since she turned six years old. You didn’t think that you’d ever miss one, ever. But here you were.
It was weird to see Olga in place of you, seated between Eli and Alba as she grinned at Alexia blowing the candles out.
That used to be you.
Instead, you were in a different country, wishing you were at a place where someone else had claimed your spot.
When it was way after dinner time and you still hadn’t heard from Alexia even though she said she’d call, you decided to send her a text. Something short and straight to the point: can I call you?
Alexia didn’t reply and you fell asleep with a feeling so hollow in your chest, you wondered if love was supposed to hurt this bad.
stop making promises you can’t keep, alexia
The loud ringing of your phone woke you up. You didn’t think that you’d see an incoming call from Alexia this early.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Hello to you too, Ale.” Your tone was curt. In your defense, you had just woken up.
“You’re picking a fight,” Alexia stated. “I don’t know why, but it’s not nice.”
“Picking a fight?” You scoffed in disbelief. “Is this about my text? I was simply telling you to stop making promises, because you can’t keep them. You told me you’d call me, you didn’t.”
You said it so accusatory that Alexia felt a sudden rush of anger. “You’re being ridiculous. I fell asleep. I’m calling you now, aren’t I?”
“I’m being ridiculous? Is it not me who had to wait for hours for your call?”
Alexia let out a bitter laugh. “Saying all that like I don’t usually have to wait hours and hours for you too?”
“Well, you’re the one with the empty promises. You promised me that things won’t be different between us, well. Look at us now.”
“That’s not entirely my fault and you know it. If we’re playing that game, you said you’d call me everyday, you said you’d always have time for me. Look at us now, cariño!”
Alexia never raised her voice at you. That was how you knew things were truly different now. “I was busy. Some days I have twelve hour shifts, Alexia,” you replied simply, not wanting to raise your voice too.
“Busy,” Alexia scoffed at you. “But you still have time to watch Leila’s games every week.”
You immediately felt defensive at the mention of your girlfriend’s name. “Why are you dragging Leila into this?”
Alexia was about to give you a piece of her mind, about how having a quick call with her wasn’t as time consuming as watching a 90-minute football game, but you still had more to say.
“Leila has nothing to do with us turning into… into this mess!” So much for not wanting to raise your voice at her. “Besides, you have Olga too. You spent all your time with her and forgot the plans we made first.” You fired back at her, a part of you hated that Olga took your place, that Olga was able to be in Barcelona next to Alexia, doing all the things you used to do.
People would think you were jealous, but you weren’t. You just didn’t like her. You didn’t like that she was taking up too much of Alexia’s time. That wasn’t jealousy.
“What plans? If I forgot something, then tell me. I’m not a fucking mind reader, Y/n.”
“What was I supposed to do? Ask you to pick between Olga and I? Why would I do that when I know you’ll pick her!”
(You might sound a little crazy. But you wouldn't admit that to anyone. In your defense, it was hard being demoted to second choice.)
“What’s your problem with Olga?” Alexia accused you, she knew you all too well.
“I have no problem with her. What's your problem with Leila?”
“Don’t change the subject. I was once your best friend, I know you more than anyone, and I know how you usually are when you don’t like someone.”
The use of past tense shouldn’t hurt as much as it did. You knew things had changed between you. “Glad to know you don’t think we’re best friends anymore.”
Alexia let out an exhale. “You haven’t been acting like you’re my best friend for sometime. Don’t act all innocent.”
“Even though we haven’t been talking much, you’re still my person. But since I don’t seem to matter to you anymore, I’ll just…” you trailed off, suddenly feeling stupid for all of this.
Alexia could feel that familiar tug in her heart, the feeling of wanting to make everything in the world right for you.
But for once, she casted it aside. The anger she had at you overpowering everything. “I don’t think I matter to you anymore either, so I guess we’re even.”
There was a pause before you utter your next words. “You matter the most to me.”
Alexia could only scoff. “Sure, you have done such a great job of showing that I matter to you—you couldn’t even spare five minutes of your precious 24 hours to talk to me!”
Deep down, you knew that. You knew that you were guilt-tripping Alexia when you had your faults too.
None of you said anything else. For once, in the two decades that you’ve known each other, you both didn’t know what to say—had nothing else to say.
When all Alexia could come up with was “I don’t know who you are anymore. You’re really hurting me this time,” you knew you had to put an end to all of this.
“I think we should just… take a break from all of this.”
Alexia couldn’t believe what she was hearing. You didn’t think you had it in you to say those words either. Even though the conversations between you two had diminished, saying that you wanted to stop talking to each other felt so… final.
“What?”
“I’m tired, Ale.”
“You don’t think I’m tired too?” you could hear the urgency in her voice. “What does that even mean? ‘Take a break from all this’? You want a break from me, you mean? What ever happened to ‘you’re my person, Alexia?’” Alexia mimicked your voice. She was getting angrier by the second, you could tell.
“You told me I’m hurting you! I’m tired of hurting you. I didn’t even realize it, Ale. I never wanted that. All we’ve been doing is fighting each other. I don’t know how to stop this. I don’t see a solution to this, I really don’t.”
Neither of you knew where it went wrong. One day you two were fine—you two loved each other more than anything in this world—the next thing you knew, you couldn’t hold up a conversation where it didn’t end with exasperated voices and tired sighs.
It was the distance, you assumed.
You and Alexia were attached at the hip. The only time you two went separate ways was when she had away games and international duties.
It was a two and a half hour flight between Barcelona and Manchester, but neither of you had made the trip to see one another. Alexia seemed even more far away as the days went by.
She had Olga to turn to now, you could feel her not needing you anymore.
It was the distance that took Alexia away from you, you would convince yourself that. It wasn’t the nameless feeling in your chest that felt a lot like yearning, jealousy, and regret all at once.
You ended the call, not knowing whether you’d ever talk to Alexia again.
—
Losing someone that had always been a constant in your life was devastating.
It was miserable. You were the most miserable you had ever been.
Leila kept on asking you what was wrong, your friends in Barcelona updating her that Alexia was in the same state as you. Not that you cared.
You didn’t know how to live without Alexia in your life, but you’d manage. You’d learn. This wasn’t the end of the world.
You steered clear of your social media, not wanting to see any posts of her from your mutual friends or from the Barcelona account.
Leila and a couple of your friends eventually stopped asking you about what went wrong with Alexia, to which you were glad, but the emptiness you felt when no one brought Alexia up to you was starting to make you uneasy.
Alexia used to be in all your conversations, she was a huge part of your life. Now it felt like she was never a part of it.
A few months passed by, your birthday rolled around and you assumed—you wished—that Alexia would break this silence between you two. It was your birthday after all.
But you should’ve known how stubborn she was.
When you stayed up until the clock strikes midnight and there was no text from Alexia, when she used to pride herself on being the first person to wish you a happy birthday, you knew you had lost her for good.
You spent your birthday with pain in your chest like no other. You just wanted Alexia back.
Your friends in Manchester knew something was up with you, Leila figured that it was mostly because of Alexia. None of them could understand why it was upsetting you so much.
That night, you sat on your balcony and looked through the folder of pictures on your phone that contained decades worth of memories of Alexia. With each scroll, you could feel more tears running down your cheeks.
There was a photo of you when you were ten, Alexia next to you laughing at how ugly your haircut was.
Another photo was of you at prom, Alexia as your plus one. Despite the countless promposals you received, you’d rather have Alexia as your date than the stinky boys at your school.
When Alexia got called up for the national team for the first time, you were there with Eli to watch her score her first international goal. The photo you had was of her carrying you on her back. It was after the game ended and Alexia had too much energy that she had to carry you around the field.
The next photo was of Alexia sleeping at the library, you were studying for your exams when you were in University and Alexia had the day off. To her, nothing was better than spending it with you, even if it meant that she had to sit there and watch you study boring stuff. Alexia always had faith that you were going to be the best doctor in Barcelona.
You had a photo of when you flew across continents to watch her win the World Cup, grinning next to Alexia as she kissed your cheek, trophy in hand.
A photo of when she tore her ACL and you were there at her bedside as she was preparing to go into surgery. Alexia didn’t let go of your hand until she was in front of the operating room.
A photo of you and Alexia in a locker room, both in Barcelona jerseys. It was the day before your exam, but it was also the Champions League final. You brought your textbook and Alba kept on laughing when you studied during half-time.
Most photos were of Alexia doing mundane things. They meant the most to you because of how carefree she looked in all of them.
Alexia making stupid faces at you as you grocery shopped together.
Alexia laughing next to you in the driver seat as she drove you to work.
Alexia cooking dinner for the two of you, her eyebrows scrunching in concentration as she read the ingredients from her new cookbook.
Alexia sipping coffee in your favourite coffee shop in Barcelona. They served the best banana bread, you never wanted to share them with anyone, not even Alexia.
Alexia watching replays of her games on her iPad. She was laying down on your couch, your throw blanket draped over her feet.
Alexia smiling at you with that look.
As you reached the last picture you had on the album, a photo of Alexia taken by you the morning you left for Manchester—she was on the driver seat, a wistful smile on her face as she turned to look at you during a red light—you suddenly felt as if you couldn’t breathe.
You were in love with Alexia.
You were so desperately in love with Alexia, you had always been, ever since you let her become your first kiss.
You didn’t like any of Alexia’s relationships, because you were jealous. You thought none of her girlfriends could treat her well, no one lived up to your expectations. You felt like you were the only one who could understand her.
You hugged the blanket around yourself tighter, the gust of wind making your teeth chatter. You wanted Alexia there next to you, she would know that you were never a fan of the cold, always making sure that you were bundled up and warm.
You had a million thoughts running through your mind, mostly about how you missed all the signs of being in love with your best friend. Although deep down, you’ve always known that what you felt for Alexia was too intense to be strictly platonic.
But when someone kissed you, having it meant the world to you, only for her to wish it never happened, you felt like it was justifiable that you decided to lock your feelings away.
Now that you’ve uncovered them, you didn’t know how to go on and pretend that you were fine with having Alexia out of your life.
—
Barcelona was playing against Manchester City at the Etihad. This wasn’t something you could get out of, you needed to be there to support Leila.
You had some friends traveling to Manchester to watch the match, you decided to sit with them instead of your usual spot at the Friends and Family section. You wanted—no, you needed someone to distract you from the person you hadn’t seen in almost two years.
You ignored your friends’ teasing at your Man City jersey instead of the Blaugrana colour (with Alexia’s name and number) you usually wore. They didn’t mention Alexia to you, having figured out the fallout, but a part of you wanted them to. You wanted them to tell you about Alexia and how she’d been doing.
Your resolve almost crumbled, Alexia’s name on the tip of your tongue. If it wasn’t for the players entering the field and the loud cheers from the audience, you would’ve asked them about Alexia.
Alexia, who was no longer blonde apparently. You saw her run to the field, her brown hair in a neat ponytail. Even from afar you could still see her smile. You hated that you still felt like jumping off a cliff at the sight.
You hated that your gaze was always drawn to her instead of your girlfriend.
Later when the game ended and Barcelona eventually won, you went to meet Leila at the barrier, whispering how great she played despite it all.
You almost accepted her invite to a night out with some of the Barcelona girls. The temptation to see Alexia again was so strong, but you didn’t think you were ready yet.
You saw her anyway, in your dreams that night. Maybe it was that deep yearning that caused you to text her as soon as you woke up.
good game yesterday. always proud of you
—
Your reconciliation didn’t happen all at once.
You didn’t magically go back to being the same as you were before (there was some apprehension from both parties), but it was close enough.
It was scarily easy to integrate Alexia back into your life even though you hadn’t talked to each other for so long.
First it was the likes on Instagram posts, or a reply to your Instagram story of gloomy Manchester sky, or a comment on Alexia’s post of her match day outfit.
Then the texts started. A simple text from Alexia telling you that she was through to the finals of the Euros. Or a text from you containing a picture of your cat, Mr. Oreo. They were evenly spaced out throughout your week, it wasn’t too often that it felt like you two were rushing back into being friends, but it wasn’t too scarce to leave you wanting more.
It was just perfect.
The striking difference now was that you were letting yourself fall for her. Every joke she made, every selfie she sent you, you took your time to admire her and let yourself fall even more.
Now that you were very much aware of your feelings, it didn’t feel right to continue what you had with Leila.
You loved her, but you must not have loved her enough because you were still able to think of another woman.
You ended it with Leila on a Tuesday. She didn't have a game until Sunday and you figured that was enough time for her to not be distracted. Surprisingly, Leila took it well, as if she knew this was coming all along.
And it felt like the universe was laughing at you, because after you broke up with Leila, you received a text from Alexia.
I’m getting married
You felt your heart drop. You had to put your phone back in your pocket because your hands were trembling badly.
You were suddenly desperate to do something, anything, before it was too late.
Even though a part of you felt like it was already too late.
—
Alexia arrived at the airport three hours early. She spent those three hours walking from one end to the other, flowers in hand. Her hands shaking and her mind racing with the thoughts of finally seeing you again.
She passed by the exact spot you said your goodbyes two years ago, both of you holding back your tears as you exchanged promises that things would be okay. The moment you walked away and went out of sight, Alexia finally let her tears fall, feeling that a part of her left alongside you.
In the middle of pacing around the airport, Olga called, and Alexia felt guilty because her mind was preoccupied with thoughts of you. She instantly buried the feeling of discomfort the moment Olga talked about their wedding.
Alexia was getting married to Olga. Her mind shouldn’t picture you the moment weddings are mentioned. She closed her eyes and bid Olga goodbye, not remembering what her fiancé called her about.
You were her best friend. Nothing more. Why was it that even after years apart, her heart still ached and yearned for you?
Hours later, when you texted her to let her know that you’ve landed, Alexia made her way to the gate. She stood there, flowers tightly in hand, tapping her foot anxiously.
You two had been slowly rebuilding your friendship. You texted each other, but never a phone call, and Alexia was nervous to hear your voice again after going such a long time without it.
Alexia was the first to spot you. You were dragging your suitcase, looking from side to side, as if urgently searching for something. And the moment your eyes found hers, your entire body lit up—the whole airport could tell that you finally found what you were looking for.
Everything drowned out and to Alexia nothing else seemed to matter anymore, her only focus was on you. On how your eyes shone with happiness and how your lips slowly curved into the smile that Alexia had missed so much. When you were finally in front of her, something clicked within her, and every hurt, every anger, every sadness she had felt because of you disappeared and she was left with the feeling of nothing but love and fondness for the girl standing in front of her.
You were here and no matter how hard Alexia tried, she couldn’t feel half of what she felt with you with anyone else.
“Alexia, hi.”
Alexia didn’t say anything back, instead she immediately embraced you, hugging you with everything she had. She leaned down and buried her face in the crook of your neck, closing her eyes and squeezing you even more—just savoring the moment of finally having you there again.
Alexia thought back to the last time she hugged you, trying to remember every single detail—from the way your arms were wrapped around Alexia’s neck, to the way your breath tickled her ear—trying to decide whether anything had changed.
And when you kissed the side of Alexia’s head, laughing into her ears because she wouldn’t let go, Alexia decided that no matter how many years had passed and no matter how many arguments you two got into, your hug still felt the same.
—
Alexia,
The moment that has always replayed in my head for years is the night of your 18th birthday. We went to the beach after dinner and crashed someone’s party, and we both got really drunk. It was fun but the thing that made that night so memorable was because it was the first time someone kissed me and that person was you.
The moment it happened, it felt like everything fell into place, you know? I understood why even my five year old self hated seeing you cry and just wanted to protect you from everything so you’ll never cry again. I understood why out of all the people in the room, my eyes always search for yours. I love you, Alexia. It’s always been you.
I was the happiest I’ve ever been that night. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world for being able to be in your arms.
But when you woke up the next day saying that you wished that night never happened, it felt like the missing puzzle piece in my heart that you completed the night before disappeared again.
Ever since then, I tried so hard to fill this gaping hole in my heart. I made it my life’s mission to go out there and meet the most perfect girl in the world just to try and replicate what I felt for you. But every time I’m with someone, every time I’m face to face with some perfect girl, your face appears and I’m reminded that they’re not you.
I love you, Alexia. I love you more with all the ups and downs we’ve had. I love every part of you and I love you with every beat of my heart.
I think I’ve always known that I was in love with you. I was just never brave enough to label it as that. So I didn’t. It wasn’t until recently that I realized: I couldn’t just sit here and watch you marry someone else.
You could call it selfish, but I wasn’t going to risk the slightest possibility of you feeling the same way that I do.
I know Olga loves you, but I also know that she’ll never love you as much as I do.
To quote your favourite poet:
“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you directly without problems or pride:
I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love,
except in this form in which I am not nor are you,
so close that your hand upon my chest is mine,
so close that your eyes close with my dreams”
If you think that this is all wrong, please just ignore it, and I promise I’ll never talk about this again. But if you somehow feel the same, meet me at our usual spot at the beach tonight, 10 p.m.
Yours always,
y/n
—
It wasn’t like you didn’t know this would happen. This was why you never wanted to risk your friendship because of some silly feelings. You knew Alexia wouldn’t feel the same, your confession would go to waste, and you would be sitting on the beach, alone at night, waiting for someone who was never going to show up.
You thought of calling Alexia, to ask her what she thought of your letter. But you decided against it, this was humiliating enough.
Maybe Alexia was embarrassed? Maybe she felt bad for you. Maybe she didn’t know how to talk to you now, knowing that you had all these feelings for her. Or maybe Alexia just didn’t want to talk to you anymore.
You let out a big sigh and buried your face in your hands. You didn’t know what you were thinking. All those years of friendship… that was all it was: friendship. You should’ve known.
You checked your phone again. Nothing. No texts or calls.
You let out a laugh. Alexia wasn’t stuck in traffic nor was she late, she was simply not coming.
Feeling your eyes start to well up with tears, you took a deep breath before standing up. You didn’t plan on going back to your parents’ house just yet, stupidly enough a part of you still had hope that Alexia was going to show up. You needed to walk around and distract yourself, sitting in the same spot that contained so many memories of her wasn’t helping.
You took another glance at your phone, and when there was still nothing, you wished your heart wasn’t so weak when it came to Alexia.
—
Alexia never believed in fate or anything.
To be fair, she was five years old and watching movies where the princess always ended up with the prince and lived happily ever after seemed too good to be true.
That was until she met you.
You, who had your little legs outstretched on the grass as you snack on your cookies. You, who didn’t hesitate to wipe away Alexia’s tears when she tripped on your legs. You, who kept on apologizing even though it wasn’t your fault that Alexia wasn’t looking at where she was going, but you were trying to make her feel better.
You had been a constant in her life ever since then, with your wise wisdoms and never-ending ability to make Alexia laugh.
Alexia then understood that fate and destiny really did exist, because it was fate that brought Alexia to the playground at that exact moment—at that exact second—so she could meet you.
When Alexia lost you, she didn’t want to believe in fate anymore, because why was the universe so cruel that it left her on the floor of her apartment, crying and begging for you to come back.
You disappeared from Alexia’s life and Alexia saw firsthand how the world became gloomier, how her days seemed to drag on longer without your presence.
Just when Alexia completely lost all hope, the universe had other plans, and it was destiny that she left her phone in her hotel room that morning, because if she didn’t, her phone would be in her pocket as she was thrown to the swimming pool because Vicky and Esmee decided that playing a prank on their captain was a brilliant idea. Her phone would be ruined and she wouldn’t be greeted with a text message from you.
A simple text telling Alexia that you were proud of her, but it left her breathless because she hadn’t talked to you in a year. You two had no contact for a year, yet you were still proud of her. Like always.
Fate, destiny, the universe, and all of that had brought you to her, took you away, then brought you back.
It was also fate that made Alexia reach down into her purse and open the envelope you’d given her before parting ways earlier—something tugging in her heart, screaming at her to read the letter you wrote to her, even though she told herself that she would do it after you’ve left the city.
And sometimes, the universe had a sense of humour, because at that moment, as Alexia finished reading the last sentence of your handwriting, her fiancé appeared in the doorway of their shared bedroom.
“Alexia?”
“I’m sorry.”
—
The only thought Alexia had as she drove over the speed limit was to hope that you were still there, waiting for her. Just like what you had been doing all of these years.
All of those wasted years where you two could be together if it weren’t for the doubts that forbade you from truly loving each other the way you were meant to.
“You’ve always loved her more than anything, Alexia. Even when she’s a thousand miles away, even when you two weren’t on speaking terms… She’s still the one you love the most. I could never compete with her.”
From this whole thing, Alexia was just sorry that she had to drag someone else into her mess. She would never forgive herself for saying “yes” to someone, knowing that her heart wasn’t fully in it.
“Olga, I never meant to make you feel like you were at constant competition with her. I really do love you.”
“But not as much as you love her.”
“I never planned on staying in love with her forever, I really did try to love someone else—with you. And I did. All these years together, I meant everything I said and everything I did.”
“I’ve always known that she would always come first to you, yet I still convinced myself that that would change one day. I know it made me a shitty person, but I was happy when you fought with her, because I thought that was finally it, you know? Finally you’d move on from her. But not even the fall out made you love her any less.”
Alexia would take whatever life will throw at her for hurting someone so deeply like she did to Olga.
But the only thing she could do right now was to find you and hoped that you were the happy ending fate had in store for her. The happy ending she’d dreamt of all this time.
—
When Alexia couldn’t find you at the beach, she figured she was too late. She tried calling and texting, but you weren’t replying to any of it.
So she went to your parents’ place, taking a slight detour to your favourite florist, picking up the bouquet they had ready, not wanting to waste another second away from you. Alexia figured you must’ve left thinking that she was rejecting you. Even if Alexia wasn’t in love with you anymore, she wouldn't have just let you sit there all alone, fearing the worst. She needed you to know that.
Your childhood home was dark and quiet. All the lights were off and Alexia remembered that your parents were in Mollet del Vallés, visiting your grandparents.
You weren’t here but Alexia wasn’t going anywhere else. She would just be there and wait for you—she had waited decades for you, a few hours would mean nothing. She sat down on the pavement, not caring how dirty her jeans were going to be, and pulled out her phone from her pocket. She called the only person she could think of.
It took a few more tries for Mapi to pick up, and once the call got connected, Alexia spoke into the phone, “I have a problem.”
Mapi’s voice was groggy. “It’s midnight, you dumbass. Can you call me later?”
“No, this is urgent.”
Alexia can feel Mapi roll her eyes on the other end of the line, “When Ingrid kills me for being too noisy and waking her up, I’m blaming it on you.”
“Well, in that case, I hope she does wake up then.”
“Tonta.”
“María,” Alexia let out a tired exhale. “Do you know where Y/n is?”
Mapi groaned in reply. “Estúpida. I was asleep, how should I know?”
Alexia pressed her hand over her eyes and groaned, “I think I screwed up.”
Just when Alexia was about to elaborate further, even though she knew Mapi was half asleep, someone called out her name. Someone whose voice sounded exactly like you.
“Ale?”
Alexia quickly opened her eyes. It really was you.
“Y/n.”
And there you were, standing in front of Alexia, head cocked to the side as if trying to figure out why Alexia was sitting there in front of your house at midnight.
Alexia quickly put her phone back to her ear, “Uhm, I’ll call you back—Tomorrow. I’ll call you tomorrow. Goodnight, María.” As soon as she ended the call, she quickly stood up.
Your arms were crossed over your chest, you were making yourself smaller, you looked so unsure of yourself that Alexia wanted nothing but to hug you and tell you that she loved you more than she’d ever loved anyone.
But all you had was apprehension written all over your face. Alexia understood. You must’ve thought that by her not showing up, Alexia didn’t feel the way you did. “What are you doing here?”
Alexia gulped. Now that you were in front of her, Alexia didn’t know what to say. “Did we really kiss on my 18th birthday?” Alexia blurted out.
“What?” You were confused and still reeling from the embarrassment of the whole thing. You couldn’t process what she said.
“I don’t remember it,” Alexia continued. “I swear. I swear on Messi.”
“What?” Your tone was full of surprise. “You don’t remember?”
“No,” Alexia sighed, looking at you wistfully. “I would never stop talking about it if I did.”
You went silent for a few seconds, your face full of confusion. Alexia let you take it all in. “You don’t remember,” you stated in a questioning tone. “But you said you wished it never happened.”
“I couldn’t have said that, because I don’t remember—”
“Oh my god, you don’t remember?” It was like you finally realized what that meant. “Oh my god,” you groaned, placing your hands over your face. “I spent years thinking—I convinced myself that I wasn’t in love with you because you rejected me—”
“I didn’t!” Alexia interjected. “I would never– I was so hopelessly in love with you.”
You looked at her and your face turned paler if that was even possible. Your mouth agape, as if you wanted to say something but you couldn’t. How could you? When your best friend was telling you that she—
“Wait,” you realized something. “Did you say ‘was’? As in past tense?” You felt the hope that grew plummet to the bottom of the stomach. You knew it was too good to be true. “Is that why you didn’t meet me earlier?”
“No… No, Y/n, I read your letter too late. I didn’t know you were waiting for me. I would’ve dropped everything in a heartbeat to get to you.”
“Oh.”
Suddenly you were laughing. Your laughter echoing throughout the empty neighbourhood. Alexia stared at you, unsure of what this meant but she couldn’t help the growing happiness in her heart with every laugh that escaped your lips. “I should’ve just texted you, right? I wanted to be romantic with the letter.”
Alexia shot you a comforting smile. At least fate brought you both here, to this moment.
After your laughter died down, you took a hesitant step forward. “But… do you really feel… the way that I do?”
Alexia sighed, being the one to close the gap between you and took your hands in hers. “If my years and years of pining weren't obvious, I feel the same. I’m in love with you. I still am. I never stopped, if we’re being honest. I broke things off with Olga, it wasn’t right to stay with her if my heart belonged to someone else. She deserves way better than some girl who was too much of a coward to confess that she’s in love with her best friend and ended up stringing her along for years, knowing that she would never love her the same.”
“So you…” you were at loss for words.
“I’m sorry, Y/n,” Alexia continued. “This whole thing is a mess. I need to cancel my wedding preparations, I have to talk to a lot of people, but the only thing I know right now is that… I can’t let you go again. You’re my soulmate, I’m sure of it. I’ve been sure of it ever since we were kids. I won’t love someone as much and as deeply as I love you. So… yeah.”
You didn’t reply to Alexia’s statement, instead you placed one hand on the back of Alexia’s neck and pulled her in for a kiss. Once your lips met, Alexia’s mind went to two things: how she never wanted to kiss anyone else in her life and how exactly did she forget your soft lips when they tasted like heaven?
Alexia’s hands wandered to rest on your neck, caressing the smooth skin that felt electric under her touch. Alexia’s mind was full with thoughts of you. Your lips on hers. Your hands around her waist. Your perfume engulfing her. Your nose brushing against hers. Your laugh vibrating against her lips.
Your lips curved upwards into a grin and Alexia could taste the happiness on your lips. She leaned forward once more for a peck on your smile and when you scrunch your nose in response, Alexia pressed another kiss to the tip of your nose.
“That was… everything I’ve ever dreamed of.” Alexia hoped that you couldn’t hear how erratic her heart was beating.
“We can take things slow,” you whispered against her lips.
“I’ve waited my whole life for you, I don’t want to take it slow,” Alexia whispered back. “But… I agree. We don’t have to rush this. We have the rest of our lives to make up for lost time.”
Suddenly your eyes drifted to the flowers on the pavement, raising your eyes at that. “Is that supposed to be for me?”
Alexia’s eyes widened when she realized the discarded flowers, quickly taking them and shoving them to you. “Uhm. Yes. These… these are for you.”
“They’re beautiful,” you replied, taking the flowers from her but your gaze never leaving her face. “Thank you.”
She pouted when she realized you hadn’t even glanced at it. “You didn’t even look at it!”
You grinned at her, leaning forward and wrapping an arm around her waist. Your face back in its favourite spot against her neck. “I bet they’re beautiful, just like you.”
“Okay, flirt.”
Alexia quickly stepped back when she noticed that the flowers were squeezed in between you two. “You’re ruining my flowers.”
“I’m not,” you scoffed. You looked down and scrunched your nose at the sight. At least they still had the beautiful pink colour intact, your favourite. “Okay, kind of. But that was your fault.”
Alexia took your hand that wasn’t holding the flower and brought it to her lips for a kiss. “How was it my fault?”
“I couldn’t resist hugging you.”
Alexia laughed and wrapped her arms around your shoulder. Swaying you side to side and sighing in content. Everything felt good. It felt like everything had fallen into place.
“Now you’re ruining the flowers even more!” your voice muffled with the way your face was squeezed into Alexia’s neck.
“I’ll get you new ones, mi amor. In fact, I’ll get you the whole shop.”
You laughed into her neck, placing a gentle kiss there. “I’m holding you on to that.”
Alexia hummed. “I love you, cariño. I missed you so much.”
“Me too,” you replied.
“Say it back,” Alexia prodded, placing her cheek on the top of your head.
“Huh?”
“I… love… you.” Alexia said slowly.
Alexia felt your giggles tickle her neck.
“Princessa, say it back.”
“You already know the answer anyway.”
“Mi vida.”
“Alexia. I love you too.”
Alexia did know the answer—she had heard you say it a million times over and over. Despite that, Alexia still wanted to hear it a million times more.
—
Alexia had been to Manchester before but it was still hard to keep up with how busy the airport was. She couldn’t spot you—not at first. All she could see was people rushing to get somewhere despite it being the early hours of the morning.
Alexia dragged her luggage to a secluded corner and pulled out her phone to give you a call. She put her phone to her ear and kept on looking around while waiting for you to pick up.
It was on the second ring when Alexia spotted you. You were sandwiched between people and you looked so small that Alexia would’ve missed you if she didn’t see the giant flower bouquet you were holding.
Once you answered the call, Alexia laughed into the speaker, feeling her heart grow ten times bigger with the amount of love she felt for you. Alexia still couldn’t believe she was finally here, just a few steps away from the person she had missed so much.
“Why are you laughing?”
“Because,” Alexia sighed in content. How did she spend so long convincing herself that she would be fine settling for someone other than you? “That bouquet is way bigger than you.”
As soon as Alexia said that, she saw you move your head in all directions trying to locate her. “You’re here. Where are you?”
“I am here.” Alexia stated, enjoying how clueless you looked.
“Alexia.”
“You always complain about how tall I am, how can you not see me?” Alexia kept her eyes on you—from your furrowed eyebrows to the small pout on your lips, one hand holding your phone to your ear and the other holding the flowers. She laughed even more when you kept on whining and your pout kept getting bigger as each second passed.
“You are annoying,” you groaned. “Can you just tell me where you are? I’m hungry.”
“Not because you miss me?” Alexia teased. “You only want me because I spoil you with lots of food.”
“Yes, that’s true!” you laughed. “So hurry up and tell me where you are so we can get food, Alexia Putellas Segura.”
“Ooh she’s using my full name now.”
“It’s because I’m getting impatient!”
Alexia laughed, finally dragging her luggage and walking towards your direction.
Once she was behind you, Alexia ended the call and tapped your shoulder, making you jump slightly. Alexia chuckled to herself at how ridiculous she was for finding everything you did adorable.
You immediately turned around and once recognition settled in, you squealed and jumped to hug her. “Alexia! You’re blonde again!”
“Mi amor! I missed you.”
When you broke apart, Alexia’s eyes started to well with tears. You were finally in front of her, smiling at her with your big smile and sparkly eyes. Two months without having you near felt so long.
“Baby,” you cooed. “Why are you crying?”
“Just emotional,” Alexia squeezed her eyes shut to stop the tears from escaping. “I missed your stupid face.”
“No one will be able to guess that you're the crybaby in this relationship.”
Alexia scowled at you. She would never admit that she cried more than you. Besides, no one would be able to verify this fact because she never cried in front of anyone, except you. “I am not.”
“Sure. Can we get that breakfast now?”
Looking at you behind your big flower bouquet, Alexia felt breathless, only because she still couldn’t believe that you were hers. At the same time though, she felt like she was able to properly breathe again, because you were finally back in her arms.
—
“Hey, Ale?”
“Yeah?”
You sat on the passenger seat, absentmindedly playing with Alexia’s hand that wasn’t holding the steering wheel.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive?”
Alexia gave you a side glance. “Are you questioning my driving abilities? When it was me who drove you around most of your life.”
“Maybe,” you kissed the back of Alexia’s hand. “You’ve never driven outside of Spain before. I’m kind of scared right now. For my life and for my brand new car.”
Alexia laughed, “Driving is the same everywhere, amor.”
“Fine,” you leaned over the console and pressed a kiss to Alexia’s cheek. “I trust you.”
Alexia scrunched her nose in response. “Stop kissing me and tell me where I should go next instead.”
“Just keep on going straight,” you responded. “Then turn left.”
“Now?”
“Are you seeing any left turns right now?”
“You just told me to turn left,” Alexia whined. “You’re such a bad navigator.”
“You should’ve let me drive.”
“You must be tired from work,” Alexia let go of her hand that was in your grip to caress your face. “I just wanted to do something nice for you.”
You looked at Alexia, taking the her hand in yours again. “So thoughtful, always a gentlewoman. Thank you, Ale.”
“I am thoughtful huh.”
You poked your tongue out at her in response. “I should stop before your ego gets too big.”
Alexia grinned at you. “I think my ego has been big ever since I knew I was your first kiss.”
“Yeah, yeah,” you rolled her eyes playfully. “You’re my first kiss, Alexia Putellas Segura. Just like I am yours.”
“The one I don’t have a single memory of,” Alexia noted. “How could you let me forget what would be the most meaningful experience of my life?”
“It’s not my fault you’re a lightweight,” you pinched Alexia’s cheeks to which the blonde laughed in response. “But hey, at least I tried to remind you of that night, didn’t I? About a thousand times these past few days if I remember correctly.”
Alexia hummed in thought, puckering her lips. “I think I need the reminder once again.”
You giggled and kissed the palm of Alexia’s hand instead. “Later at home, okay? I can’t have you crashing my car.”
“I’d like that.” Alexia took a quick glance at you and smiled—one that reached her eyes, one that showed you just how happy she was.
But you were suddenly thinking of home and how you used it to describe your Manchester apartment, even though you never thought of it that way. That was, until Alexia came to visit, leaving her things scattered around like she always did in your old place in Barcelona.
You yearned for days like this, with Alexia driving you back home, eating takeout on the couch as you watched a football match you couldn’t care less about. You let Alexia talk your ear off, giving her commentary on the game, you nodding along like you were totally invested in it too.
Home.
Manchester had never felt like home. It was an apartment with all of your things, where you slept and showered and ate, but you never considered it to be your home.
Alexia visited one day and changed the meaning of the place entirely.
You lived here for years without Alexia, but you couldn’t imagine it without her anymore.
You looked at your best friend as she sang along to a Spanish song, she was so off-key. A grin instantly made its way to your lips.
Home was wherever Alexia was.
—
It was a no-brainer, really.
There was no reason to stay in Manchester when your heart lived in Barcelona.
It had been on your mind since you had to leave Alexia again as you boarded the plane back to Manchester a few months ago. It was the only thing you could think of as you waved goodbye to Alexia as she went back to Barcelona, her black cap and sunglasses covering her face, but you could tell there were tears running down her cheeks.
You knew she was scared that history would repeat itself and you two would argue again. But you also knew that it was different this time. There were no uncertain feelings in your chest, no other girl next to Alexia making you feel replaced. You were certain of your love for Alexia.
But it was time to come home. You knew that the moment Alexia kissed you for the second time.
You hadn’t told Alexia, but you were planning on coming back in a couple of months. You wanted it to be a surprise.
But the night before Alexia left, as you savoured the feeling of her pressed up against you, you came to the conclusion that you need to come back to Barcelona sooner than planned.
Having Alexia next to you felt so good. You missed it a lot. You knew you couldn’t stand even another month being away from her, so you changed your entire timeline and decided to move it up so you were coming back in two weeks.
You had a lot on your to-do list. It was a hassle to move away from the place you’ve lived in for years. It was even harder when you wanted to do it within a few weeks.
Alexia thought it was starting again—the space between you.
You didn’t want to ruin the surprise.
“Ale, you're just being a distraction right now.”
Which was true—you had less time to reply to texts and calls in between trying to get rid of your furniture and trying to cut your lease short—but Alexia didn't know that so it wasn’t the right word to use.
Out of context, it sounded harsh, and you figured you could’ve said it better.
Alexia ended the call abruptly and ignored all your texts for the rest of the day.
—
Turns out, Alexia decided to ignore you for a whole week. It was understandable, you royally screwed up, but the only thing that kept you from flying to Barcelona as soon as you figured out she was ignoring you was the thought that you were coming back soon. For good.
You left Manchester and years worth of memories behind on a Monday. Your parents welcomed you back with open arms and you spent the night eating your mother’s home cooked meal.
The next day, you knew Alexia had training until noon. So you went to a florist, bought the biggest bouquet of Alexia’s favourite flowers, and you met up with a Barcelona staff member with clear instructions that he was to give it to Alexia. And to make sure that she actually read the note attached to it.
Alexia, my love
Meet me at our spot at 4pm
You’re going to be done by that time, so you better show up
Yours,
y/n
—
You sat at your usual spot by the beach, the same spot where you got your heart broken a few months ago when Alexia didn’t show up. This time, instead of waiting for Alexia with dread and a heavy heart, all you felt was excitement at getting to see her again.
This time, you knew that Alexia loved you too and you didn’t have to worry about her not showing up.
Alexia loved you too and you weren't going to let her go. It was that thought that kept on repeating in your head, the one that propelled you to leave Manchester behind and come back to Barcelona. As much as you loved it over there, you knew it would never beat the feeling of having Alexia next to you.
You couldn’t wait to be with Alexia. Really be with her, not through a phone screen where her sleeping face would disappear once her phone ran out of battery.
“Amor?”
You craned your head as soon as you heard that voice. Alexia was still as beautiful as ever, despite only wearing some sweatpants and a hoodie that she stole from you when you were still in high school.
“Hi.” Alexia put her hand up in a little wave. You smiled because Alexia looked so nervous, it was adorable.
You stood up and walked towards her slowly, your face still amused at the way she was biting her lips—a nervous habit of hers. When you were inches apart you spoke, “Hi back. Why do you look so nervous?”
Alexia’s eyes drifted anywhere but you. “I’m not nervous.”
“You totally are,” you said, trying to catch her eyes. “Can I hug you?”
Alexia finally returned your stare and once your eyes met, Alexia’s entire posture softened and she leaned forward to engulf you in a hug.
“I missed you,” Alexia exhaled deeply. “It’s only been a few weeks but I missed you.”
You wrapped your arms around her neck, whispering that you missed her too. You breathed in her familiar scent and sighed. You felt at home.
“You didn’t tell me you were coming,” Alexia said once you broke apart.
You shrugged. “I wanted it to be a surprise.”
“Well, I am very surprised.” Alexia took your hands in hers. “I’m happy you’re here.”
“Can I kiss you now? Or are you still too nervous to do that?” you asked, your tone teasing. “ I can’t have you passing out on me.”
Alexia rolled her eyes, a small smile on her lips. “I’m not nervous.”
“So can I kiss you or not?” you asked once more, a grin on her face.
“Of course you can.”
And that was all you needed before you leaned forward and captured her lips with yours.
You kissed your girlfriend gently, you kissed her slowly while trying to convey just how much you missed her—how lonely your nights were without her to cuddle you to sleep and how cold your mornings were without her warm smile.
And when Alexia traced your bottom lip with her tongue, you couldn’t comprehend how fast your heart was beating. After countless kisses, you still felt the same way you did when Alexia first kissed you at eighteen—all fluttery as a thousand butterflies rummaged around your stomach.
Alexia’s lips on yours felt tingly, and Alexia’s hands that were caressing your waist felt like they had belonged there all along.
When you broke apart, Alexia’s hands stayed where they were, her forehead resting against yours while you both tried to catch your breath.
“I love you,” Alexia whispered. “I know I say that a lot, but I mean it every time.”
You hummed, your lips curling up into a smile. “I love you too.”
“I’m sorry, cariño, for ignoring you. I was just… sad, I guess.”
“No, I'm sorry, I shouldn’t have called you a distraction.”
“It’s just–” Alexia sighed, she was really beating herself up over this. “You’re supposed to tell me if you’re unhappy. I’m your girlfriend.”
You immediately shake your head. “I’m not unhappy—I could never be unhappy with you.”
“Then?”
You took a deep breath before continuing, “You were a distraction, but only because—Ale?”
Alexia blinked back, as if she didn’t quite understand what you said. She took a step away from your touch and turned her back towards you.
You were confused for a moment before you remembered how much of an overthinker she was.
“Ale. Baby,” you gently placed your hands on her shoulders and turned her around. Your heart broke at the sight of Alexia’s furrowed brows and the slight tremble in her bottom lips.
“Are you—Did you come back to break up with me?”
“Of course not,” you laughed. “Alexia—”
“Don’t—” Alexia tried to turn back around and leave, but you quickly grabbed her arms to prevent her from leaving.
“Alexia,” your hand travelled down to her hands, intertwining them with yours. “Look at me.”
You could see tears starting to well in her and you sighed at how much she resembled a kicked puppy. “Baby,” you cooed. “It’s nothing bad, c’mon, please don’t cry.”
“It’s not?” Alexia whispered out.
“No,” you flashed her a comforting smile. “I would never break up with you, you should know that by now.”
“Oh,” Alexia looked down, sniffling. “Then why? I’m a distraction to you?”
You lifted Alexia’s chin up with your finger. “Moving across countries isn’t an easy thing to do, you know. I have to talk to the hospital about my contract, I have to talk to my agent about my lease, I have to sell all my furniture, I have to meet with my friends to say goodbye—”
“What—”
“That’s why you were kind of distracting me, because I need to get a lot of things done if I want to come home to my girlfriend as soon as possible.”
When realization dawned on Alexia, her eyes widened and you laughed at how comical she looked. Alexia placed her hand on your mouth, muffling your laughs. “Stop laughing at me. You’re coming back?”
You took Alexia’s hand away from your mouth and grinned at her. Alexia’s eyebrows were raised, her face expectant as she waited for an answer.
You smiled fondly at her expressions before you answered her question with a kiss.
One second into the kiss, a giggle escaped your mouth, causing Alexia to break you apart, narrowing her eyes at your interruption. “Sorry, you were just too adorable.”
“Glad to know you think me crying is adorable.”
You placed a kiss on her cheek. “I don’t like seeing you cry but I wasn’t even breaking up with you, you big baby.”
“You’re so mean,” Alexia pouted. “But you’re really coming back? For good?”
“I am. I can’t be apart from you anymore. I love you and I want to wake up next to you every morning and fall asleep next to you every night.”
“Cheesy.”
You scrunched up your nose. “Shut up. I’m trying to be cute.”
“So… will you be asking me to move in with you then?”
“Well…” you gave a sheepish grin. “I was hoping you would be the one to ask me that, since I don’t exactly have a place here anymore. Unless you want to move in with my parents, that’s okay too.”
Alexia laughed and pecked your lips. You felt warm all over. “Let’s go look for a new place. My place is too small for all our kids anyway.”
“Kids?” you looked at Alexia with wide eyes. “Alexia. Did you skip the entire wedding?”
Alexia wrapped her arms around your waist, pulling you close. “I’m talking about Nala. And Mr. Oreo, your stinky cat. Add Vicky, Jana, Esmee to the list too.”
You slapped Alexia’s arm in response. “You scared me there for a second. We need to get married first, you know. No skipping a chapter.”
Alexia laughed, kissing the top of your head. You looked at her and the sight of your girlfriend with a big smile and eyes that displayed so much happiness gave you the sudden urge to kiss her again. So you did.
With the feeling of Alexia smiling against your lips, you knew that no matter where life takes you, you’d always come home to her.
—
Y/n,
I still remember the moment you left to go to Manchester. I remember watching you leave and I remember feeling so helpless because I knew that things would change. I saw you walk away and I have never wanted to scream your name so badly—just so you would look at me one last time. But I didn’t.
I didn’t, because you were off to do amazing things and I couldn’t keep you here as much as I wanted to. And because a part of me felt relieved that we’d be spending less time together because it would give me the time I needed to move on from you.
It worked for a while. My heart didn’t break into pieces every time I saw you and Leila on social media, and my heart didn’t feel like it’s being squeezed every time you talked about her.
My daydreams about you stopped, I didn’t hear your laugh in the back of my head at random times of the day anymore. I thought that was it. I was moving on, and I started to swallow the bitter truth that we weren’t meant to be together.
But then one night you called me. It was in the middle of the night and you couldn’t stop laughing because of a joke you just thought of. You asked if I was asleep, and I knew you’d tell me to go back to sleep if I said yes, so I lied. Only because I missed your voice and because hearing your laugh again after so long made my heart feel whole again when I didn’t even realize it had a missing piece.
I realized that, no matter how hard I try to convince myself, I would never love anyone as much as I love you.
I started to spend each night cursing at the stars, being angry and asking why the universe gave you to me, but at the same time, never letting me completely have you.
I settled for someone else because I thought that you’d never look at me the way I looked at you. I loved someone else and their name tasted just fine on my lips but I kept on wishing that it was your name that I was whispering into the dark nights instead. And I had to come to terms that I wasn’t going to spend the rest of my life with you in the way that I’d hoped, so I said ‘yes’ to someone else.
But things happened, and I found out that you had been looking at me the same way all along—hidden glances, longing gazes, the desperate yearning to know how it feels like to love each other in ways no one but us can understand.
You’re my best friend, Y/n. You’re the bestest friend I’ve ever had and now, instead of cursing at the stars, I thank them each night because the universe gave you to me and now I have the chance to be able to love and admire every part of you.
Now your name is the only one I’d whisper into the nights—the nights where it’s just us two and your face that’s illuminated by the moonlight is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Now you’re the person I said ‘yes’ to because you’re the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.
It’s been a journey, hasn’t it? I never would have thought that we’d be here, and that in a few hours I’d get to call you my wife.
I love you, mi amor. I have loved you since I was five and didn’t know anything about the world. I have loved you when we were apart, when nothing else was left to say between us, when the mornings without your texts turned my world darker.
And I have loved you when we’re together, when I look to the side and you’re always there next to me, when your hands feel like they’re my long-lost limb—your hands holding mine, your hands around my waist, your hands tangled through my hair, your hands around my neck, your hands holding me at night when it’s quiet except for the sound of your heart beating in sync with mine.
I have loved you for so long that it’s now a part of me and I know that I would never go a day without loving you.
And despite knowing you for most of my life, I still get nervous around you. So I’m writing this letter in case I couldn’t blurt out my vows because of how you’d be looking at me—as if I’m the only star in your sky. I hope that by reading this, you know just how much I love you and how I don’t ever plan to stop.
You make me the happiest. And I’ll spend the rest of my life making sure that you’re the happiest too.
I’ll see you in a few hours. Can’t wait to see you walk down the aisle :)
Yours forever and ever and ever,
Alexia
----
a/n: thank you for reading. this is my longest fic yet, please let me know your thoughts!<3
-
leafpagesingfan liked this · 1 year ago -
joanneod19 liked this · 1 year ago -
meldmtr liked this · 1 year ago -
delusionillusion3322 liked this · 1 year ago -
witchychicken liked this · 1 year ago -
undertoomuchpressure liked this · 1 year ago -
sn0-0pd0gg liked this · 1 year ago -
idk22334469 liked this · 1 year ago
-
lilithhs-world liked this · 1 year ago -
dinoslovereading liked this · 1 year ago -
h0neylemon liked this · 1 year ago -
deaddarlingsworld liked this · 1 year ago -
megtheladon liked this · 1 year ago -
ttkttt liked this · 1 year ago -
frogtape liked this · 1 year ago -
aniboo1 liked this · 1 year ago -
pasukiyo liked this · 1 year ago -
laylade4d liked this · 1 year ago -
hypernovaxx liked this · 1 year ago -
prada-ev liked this · 1 year ago -
m4c13t4y liked this · 1 year ago -
fhvhbfd liked this · 1 year ago -
simp-for-fiction liked this · 1 year ago -
ilydanhengg liked this · 1 year ago -
contusioncore liked this · 1 year ago -
honeystab liked this · 1 year ago -
keeplivingevenifitsoutofspite liked this · 1 year ago -
marginalised-lizard liked this · 1 year ago -
pinkpickle liked this · 1 year ago -
peterparker-lover liked this · 1 year ago -
yaijpg liked this · 1 year ago -
wavluvvie liked this · 1 year ago -
lizbecca33 liked this · 1 year ago -
clownrryenthusiast liked this · 1 year ago
-
loveponepony liked this · 1 year ago -
honeyedlies liked this · 1 year ago -
imdoingbetternow liked this · 1 year ago -
arloo00 liked this · 1 year ago -
belbelsstuff liked this · 1 year ago -
digitalsp1der liked this · 1 year ago -
miixsh liked this · 1 year ago -
forestdoesstuff liked this · 1 year ago -
berryberth11 liked this · 1 year ago -
ej-sherwood liked this · 1 year ago
