I'm So Glad I Live In A World Where There's Archive Of Our Own

Ridiculous Dead Serious idea:

Danny is in some kinda competition that Damian is also in, and they’ve been sniping at each other back and forth throughout the whole thing.

Until one day Danny goes, “You want me so bad it makes you look stupid!”

And Damian stops. Considers. Interrogates himself and his motivations like a good detective. Has a facial journey as he goes through the five stages of grief.

Danny was expecting a snide comeback and now he is legitimately worried he’s somehow triggered the snooty rich kid. Trying to decide if he wants to apologize or awkwardly make his way out of the room to give him time to recover.

Damian sorta hates himself because… yeah, yeah he does. He is attracted to the bratty little fucker and has been… pulling pigtails? Antagonizing to remain in his thoughts and field of vision, to watch his face get red and his breath quicken, to make him lean aggressively into his space and growl at him???

Damian is horrified. How did he misjudge himself so badly? Is this how mother felt when she discovered that Father was a complete mess and only fell more in love?

“Uh, dude? Are you… okay?” Danny reaches hesitantly towards him but doesn’t quite touch.

“No,” Damian says, schooling his face into a bland mask. “In fact, I may need you to support me.”

Panic flits across his companion’s face. He rushes to his aid, ducking against his side. His arm wraps around Damian’s back and a hand settles on his waist. Too gullible.

Damian mourns his own good sense.

You, every night.

DP x DC

Of which Vlad IS related to Bruce

Their Bat-ness must have came from a common ancestor. And that adoption thing.

But anyways.

Imagine Vlad contacting Bruce with his fam out of the blue, asking BRUCIE, HI NICE TO TALK TO YOU AFTER LONG PERIODS OF ABSENCE BUT IVE A QUESTION THAT NEEDS TO BE ANSWERED FOR MY KWN SAKE- how do you get your children to be civil with you???

Bruce: ... I am not aware you adopted kids Vladdie?

Batfam, listening to the conversation: it's cute that Masters tot we're civil to Bruce at all times lol

Vlad: Currently I have my godson with me and he's acting a lot like a combination of your sons in gala disasters.

Bruce: which gala disasters you're talking about? Coz you know we have the Rogues attacking galas aaaaallll the time-

Vlad: you know what I mean, cousin. Richard in the chandeliers, little Damian stabbing the handsy ones, Timothy making people cry left and right between his blackmails and "conspiracy theories"-

Bruce: (tries to imagine all that Feral in one body and failing)

Batfam: (omg new cousin sounds lit)

Vlad: so yes Brucie, I need some advice, please and thank you.

(Unseen: Danny gnawing his leg)

"Rejected." "But, Milord, he has been specifically chosen to..." "Rejected. Goodbye."

Wally, tied down to a stone table and about to be sacrificed, feels more than offended.

This particular cult is trying to gift him to some minor god of protection or something, he wasn't particularly paying attention to the specifics, saying that the god needs a new member of his harem.

"But we chose this one because of his qualifications!"

"Indeed, we sense the eldritch within him!"

The god or whatever raises one white eyebrow.

"Re. Jec. Ted. Rejected. That? That whole thing?" The being asks, waving a hand generally at Wally's everything. "That is not going anywhere near my Fraid or my Haunt."

"Hey!" Wally says incredulously, "The hell did I do to you, man?"

"No no, that's the beauty of it!" A cultist interrupts him, also motioning at Wally's everything. "As a member of your harem and also one already tainted by the unknowable, he can stay out of your personal lair and stay in the Eternal Void, and you can just make sure he pleases you in wherever way you desi-"

"That thing is also not getting anywhere near my dick. In fact? This? This is done. I am done."

The being snaps his fingers into fingerguns, points at the shackles on Wally, and breaks them with green beams of light.

"Run free and far away frommmmmmmholy fuck get away from me!"

"So what, am I not good enough for you?" Wally asks, now in the beings face and ignoring the cultists.

Fuck those guys, but this just got personal.

~~~~~~

Danny is being hounded by one of Clockwork's worst nightmares, thanks to a stupid cult that thinks he's A, a god, and B, has a harem.

Great.

He's supposed to be at his 21st birthday party, getting legally wasted, and now he's getting hit on the man responsible for a not one, not two, but three week adventure through the time stream he just got back from.

This man and his ilk are responsible for nearly all of Danny's Clockwork Assignments, specifically to fix the timestream and reality, and he has the balls to ask why Danny doesn't like him?!

I don't even know exactly how long this takes, but I'm actually pretty proud of the painting

I made a thing….

a phone danny while i’m on the road

Danny didn't think that falling through a natural portal would result in him stumbling upon a cult. Or that said cult currently was busy with "punishing" a small five year old child.

Really there was only one thing he could do and accidental kidnapping usually happened to him as the kidnapee not the kidnapper.

Well, there was a first time for everything. Taking the small child with him into the infinite realms may have been a panic reaction, and he may have accidentally summoned Frostbite to check over the boy.

Thankfully the kid, Damian he said his name was, was liminal and fine with healing in Danny's castle before Danny would bring him to his father. According to Damian his father didn't like the cult ("It's the league of assasins... not a cult.")

To be honest he was very much out of depth and so very confused when he had to find his way to the crime ridden city of Gotham and then somehow get the attention of the bat vigilante. Batman was tall and very much as scary as a ghost.

Damian looked out from under King Phantom's cloak of stars and galaxies and took in the person who was said to be his father.

"You are shorter than I thought..."

"Hn." Damian turned to look up at the being that had helped him heal and taken care of him for the last two months.

"I have decided. King Phantom shall be my father from now on!" Damian proceeded to hide back behind the being and into the spacious cloak.

"Uhm... I don't think that's how that works bud." King Phantom said, he was interrupted by laughter. Glancing past the being Damian saw Batman and Robin, as well as Nightwing, the last two were laughing while Batman looked slumped.

"I have decided King Phantom is my father, so he is!"

"This is gold!" Nightwing was now struggling to stand up straight.

"I... uh... I'm not sure what to do in this situation?" King Phantom said, Damian leaned forward a bit to glare at him.

"Take me back to your castle father!" Nightwing seemed to struggle with breathing, he was now wheezing.

Danny would like to say for the record that he wasn't prepared for these things! Somehow that strange situation ended with him in the batmobile on the way to the batcave so that Damian would hopefully want to stay with his actual father.

DpxDc #5

Everywhere but home.

The Anti-Ecto Acts applied only to North America.

The USA and Canada both permitted the capture, experimentation, and termination of ecto entities.

One night, after weeks of being constantly hunted down, Danny decided it was time to leave the continent.

At first, he was terrified. 

He didn’t even need false documentation, since the GIW wasn’t looking for his human identity, and Jazz helped him get everything he needed.

He… didn’t even have to buy a flight or something, since his speed could get him anywhere.

So, a bit anxiously, he traveled down to South America.

He had a pretty good time!

People were friendly and welcoming, excited to share the beauty they had with them and Danny found himself so much more interested in other cultures.

Being surrounded by languages, Spanish, Portuguese, and even some Indigenous ones became much easier to learn.

Traveling around wasn’t a problem, he often found people happy to take him in for a shower and a meal.

It wasn’t safe all the time, but it wasn’t because he was a ghost, which was somehow nicer.

With much less anxiety, he started to travel even more.

Africa was the obvious choice since it was the closest continent.

The main cities were rich with people and modern buildings, making him feel a bit out of place like he was in a cleaner version of Hollywood.

Going away from touristy sites, everything started to become more bare, the people still welcoming, but weary of noisy strangers. Wich was understandable, so next came Asia, then Europe, Australia, and Antarctica.

By the time Danny was in his twenties, he had pretty much visited almost every country on Earth. 

He was having fun, he really was, but in every new country he visited, he was reminded how much he wished he was waking up in his bed, spending the days with his family and friends.

Once, he met a guy in London, whose soul looked like Swiss cheese, that he helped with some ghost stuff. He was recognized as from America, so he explained what he was doing all the way in England. Apparently, the guy had connections with the Justice League and promised to help.

At several spots, he even met with Dani. Every time they saw each other, they remembered that, even if it was so diverse, the World was still very small.

He was in South Italy when his phone rang.

It wasn’t hard to keep in touch with his friends and family, sending them photos or even packages of stuff he found traveling.

He answered Jazz, as she started to cry happily about the Anti-Ecto Acts being revoked.

He… hadn’t actually believed Jonh.

His mind was blank, with her sister excitedly talking over the phone.

After five years.

He could go back home.

IN THE BATCAVE

Bruce: *sitting at Batcomputer minding his own business*

Jason: *getting ready for patrol*

Dick: *asks nicely*

Dick: Jay, could you hand me my escrimas?

Jason: *deadpans*

Jason: Go get them yourself, Dickface.

Tim: *walks in*

Tim: Jason, could you toss me my bo staff, please?

Jason: *no hesitation, tosses Tim his bo staff*

Dick: *shooketh*

Dick: Why do you help him and not me??? I'm your big bro, Little Wing!

Jason: Middle children have to stay together.

Dick: *confused af because Jay and Tim are his only brothers*

Tim: *curious*

Bruce: *frozen before turning around slowly*

Dick: Jason, you're the only middle child... right?

Jason: *laughs nervously*

Jason: Oh, would you look at that! Crime Alley is calling my name!

Jason: *runs*

---

SOMEWHERE IN NANDA PARBAT

Damian: *sneezes*

Damian: Somebody mentioned me.

---

LATER THAT EVENING

Talia: *on the phone with Bruce*

Talia: What! Me?! Hide a child of yours?!

Talia: *looks at Damian and a picture of Jason*

Talia: Never, Beloved.