Steve Will Solve A Rubix Cube In Front Of The Kids, Set It Down In Front Of Them, And Then Say: "Did

I need to see some Stevie fanart 👀

Plus

You know who is who

Corroded Coffin are celebrating an album release in Vegas. Eddie gets bored of the VIP area at the club & wanders The Strip. Standing at the Bellagio fountain is the most beautiful man he’s ever seen. Eddie pushes past some douchey looking dudes in business casual to reach him.

Eddie falls to one knee. “Will you marry me?” Steve who is bored with his business man life and hates his friends takes one look at this random proposing man with wild hair and leather pants and says “Yes.”

Steve, a former child model that was moderately successful in very niche art house circles and would’ve probably still been successful if his parents didn’t try to fix their relationship by dumping him in a small town and becoming conservative, thanks god everyday that Hawkins is where culture goes to die. Those pictures will never see the light of day here and he’s happy about that.

Robin, the daughter of hippies and lover of niche art house stuff, spends year harboring a crush on a pretty androgynous girl in her parents’ art books.

She shows one to Steve and says something like, “This is the girl that made me realize that I liked girls.”

Steve’s like… “That’s me.”

Robin just stares at him so Steve moves her finger to a different person on the page and says, “Say it was her. I can get you her number.”

steve is pretty chill mostly, but when he does get jealous he gets JEALOUS!!! like, he's not making it eddie's problem, but he is staring down anyone being incredibly flirtatious with his guy. eddie, oblivious, is chatting away, and steve's just over his shoulder pantomiming violence. sometimes when steve is particularly sensitive, robin joins in pretending to bury a body.

also god forbid jonathan "steal yo girl" byers comes within 5 feet of eddie, steve's not even being subtle, he attached to eddie like he's welded himself there.

eddie, unaware of steve's death glare and jonathan's SMIRK, is just super pleased steve's being so clingy with him today.

NSFW STEDDIE & STOBIN TEXT CHAIN

Steve normal text. Robin’s Bold. Eddie's Italicized Bold

---

___Bird Brain___

Rob

Bobby

Bobin

What? Im literally right next to you

And were at work Dingus get off of your phone.

No.

I'm. Uh.

?

You know the shop across the street???

?

The mecanic

Mecanic

Fuck

Mechanic

Okay.

They have a new guy

Okay.

And?

Gay.

Literally, what?

I think I'm gay.

Steve

Cuz like he's just so pretty

Steven

And that Haut

Stephanie

Hair

Hey whore

Wut

Bathroom talk. Now.

Were working.

You and I both know no one rents movies on a Tuesday at 10am

Bathroom.

Now.

To the porcelain thrown

You know sometimes I forget youre an idiot 20 something

then you go and say shit like that

…

Bitch.

Whore.

---

How do I tell if a mans gay or whatever its is that I am,

,

Fuck

?

Bi schedule

Bi sexual

Ducking auto correct

Babe. I hate to break it to you but your auto correct is as dyslexic as you are. You basically train it

I-

Huh.

Well ghen.

Anywho.

Gay.

Whats he wear? Any piercings? Tattoos? Whats his hair like?

Oh! This is important. DOES. HE. HAVE. A. HANKY. IN. A. BACK. POCKET???

black overalls and a black shirt. Lots. I think. His ears literally look shiny from across the street. Lots of tattoos too.

And yes??? What's that have to do with anything? My papa had a hanky and I'm pretty she he wasn't gay

He probably was. Being Bisexual is genetic.

Actually?

No Dingus.

But like the man was in the navy? Right?

Ya

Gay.

Stfu

ANYWAY

HANKY.

YES.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

FUCK YEAH.

WHATS IT LOOK LIKE AND WHAT POCKET?

???

it's black

Oh hes kinky

What side pocket

It switches.

I bet it does

Gay.

That is a gay man Steven.

Go get your dick sucked or your booty bumped or whatever it is the kids are doing these days.

Eating ass

EXCUSE

yeah. It's a thing.

:0

Robin you literally munch so much carpet. whats the difference if its the rug at the back door.

Never.

Ever.

Say.

That.

Again.

Bubble bath privileges revoked.

You whore.

---

The bath is sad with no bubbles Bob.

Make your own.

…

Okay. Ew. Stop. Stink ass. I can hear you. And the neighbors probably can too.

Are you sorry?

Not really.

Well pretend to be.

Kay.

IM SO SORRY

…

:’(

better

Your bubble bath is under the sink

:D

---

Eddie

Wut.

Thats your new lovers name.

WUT

ROBIN.

WHAT DID YOU DO.

---

*1 new message* Hi -the weirdo with long hair who works across the street (Eddie)

---

I hate you

BTW babe you have a date on Tuesday

ROBIN IT IS TUESDAY

oh ya.

Well you have a date today gay boy

…

I need to leave

The fuck you do

Yeah. I fucking do.

I need to shower

And shave

And

I dont know

What do you do before a gay date

Prep?

For what?

Oh honey

---

Should this hurt?

8⁰

Don't tell me

Are u?

Yes.

Shut up.

…

Does it hurt

Like.

Kinda?

Lube. Oh my god. LUBE. Steve I swear to Dolly, if youre prepping your fucking asshole right now, IN THE FUCKING WORK BATHROOM

I

WILL

END

YOU

:*

Youre a whore. Oh my god.

STEVEN I CAN HEAR YOU.

STOP.

This is nice.

Why havent I done this before.

Where's the protest

Prostate

Rob?

Brain me. Educate me please.

…

Nvm

Oh fuck

Found it

Definitely found it

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

like good for you babe. I love you and support you but OH MY GOD YOU WHORE GET YOUR FINGERS OUT OF YOUR ASS WERE AT WORK.

…

You really think Id do that

Obviously

Im fucking with you

Im just googling shit and well taking a shit.

Fuck you

Love you

---

*2 New messages.* um. So. Im Eddie. Your coworker. Robin? Gave me your number and said we're going out tonight???

---

Dingus have you answered your husband yet

FUCK. NO. WHAT DO I SAY.

well you could send him a picture of your ass

Or your tits

Or your weeeen

Or all of the above

Like a package deal

Hehe. Package.

Robin.

Ugh. Wut.

Be serious.

Fiiiiine. Introduce yourself. Tell him youre excited for tonight. Make a plan for your date. (Other than the reservation I booked you at Enzos) and then tell him you thi know hes pretty and you want to have his babys.

He is pretty.

And like. Id definitely let him try to get me pregnant

ANSWER HIM.

FINE.

---

___Future Husband___

um. Hi. First of all I'm so sorry for my friend. She likes to get her nose into my business. Second.

…

Ithinkyourereallyprettyandimexcitedfortonight.

At the risk of being too forward. I like literally saw you my first day at the shop and have wanted to talk to you since. Cuz. Yeah. Pretty doesnt even begin to explain what you are. Like. Bro. Have my babies.

FUCK

I CANT BELIEVE I SAID THAT

disregard the baby thing

I dont know about getting pregnant. But Im up for practice.

Like.

If you are???

8⁰

… like

Now?

My breaks in 20

Fuck

Really?

Meet me at the van across the street

:*

---

___Bird Brain___

STEVE

STEVEN

YOU WHORE

ARE YOU GETTING YOUR BACKDOOR RUG MUNCHED ???

OMG

YOU ARE

THE VAN ACROSS THE STREET IS SHAKING

AND ID BET YOUR LEFT NUT THAT YOURE IN IT

…

GET IT I GUESS BABE

DONT GET PREGNANT

OR DO

YOU DO YOU BOO

…

youre on your own for the rest of the day Birdie

And where the fuck do you think youre going

Eddies

…

Boo you whore

But like. Get it babe.

But I also hate you.

I dont want to work in this shithole alone

Steven

Answer me

Hi Robin

This is Eddie

On Steves phone

Steve's a little… preoccupied

OH MY GOD

WHAT HAVE I DONE

YOU TWO ARE GOING TO BE DISGUSTING

BUT BRO. ILL END YOU IF YOU BREAK HIS HEART

STRAIGHT UP DIG YOU A GRAVE IN THE DITCH AND BURN OFF YOUR FINGERPRINTS AND BREAK YOUR TEETH SO NO ONE CAN IDENTIFY YOUR BODY.

COLD CASE BRO

what would you do about my tattoos

Fuck you

Sorry. Positions taken.

Id burn your whole body. No skin = no tattoos

I like the way you think

But in all seriousness

Mmmm imma gonna marry this boy

Hopefully before the end of the week

Fuck yeah

I call best man

more twitter thoughts with @pukner and @sangrientojoe

Si BAJAJAJA mis nenitos

you know what? Fuck you. *turns your strong and stoic and serious character into a crying, traumatized, whimpering, curled up mess in the floor*

My brain has created a fun amalgamation of these two posts (link, link)

Steph deciding after Startcourt life is way too short to continue living it for anyone else and immediately starts transitioning, everyone who matters in her life is of course accepting. and the rest of Hawkins is too wrapped up in the drama of the mall to notice that Steph and Steve are the same person, its just assumed Steve got out of dodge after the mall burned down.

the party starts going to hellfire and Stephs babysitter mode activates because these people don't know what monsters and references could set her kids off so she decides to tell Eddie what he is not allowed to use in his campaign or even mention around them. She goes in boymode because no one knows Steph but Steve still has a reputation.

Eddie is very very confused when Steve Harrington approaches him and immediately gets into what he is not under any circumstances to mention in front of the newest members of hellfire and its got to be the weirdest prank or something because the kids have never mentioned knowing Steve at all and all and the only connection Eddie knows about it that Steve is Nancy's ex which would not explain this behavior at all. so of course he has to test it, to disastrous results they do a good job at putting on a brave face but its clear they're terrified and as soon as the session is called they pull out a walkie and start calling for check ins. a voice that must be the mysterious badass and beautiful babysitter Steph that they're constantly going on about tells them to stay put and that she'll come in and get them. they protest that they aren't kids anymore but she isn't hearing it.

Eddies excited to get to see her for himself to see if she really is all they've built her up to be or is this is just a childhood crush clouding their judgment. he decided they haven't been doing her enough justice as she swings the door open and is doing head counts and visual wellness checks backlit from the fluorescents in the hall way like some kind of angel. once shes assured of the partys safety she rounds on him hands on hips looking so bitchy and disappointed "you used something off the list didn't you" it isn't a question. the party catches her attention before he can untie his tongue ruffling hair and giving half hugs, he'll have to thank them latter because the wave goodbye Henderson gives him is definitely conspiratorial like he was taking her attention on purpose.

It takes a day after the weirdness that was the last hellfire meeting for curiosity to get the best of him and he goes to get answers, he has no idea where Steph lives but he's sold at enough Harrington house parties to find his way. Imagine his surprise when its Steph that opens the door and starts talking to him like they've actually conversed before. Like she was the one that gave him the list of things not to mention, while simultaneously dressing him down for not listening.

for at least a brief moment Eddie assumes Steph is dating herself, it would explain how she knows about his conversation with Steve why Steve felt it was his place to tell him about the monsters, maybe she had been busy and he'd offered to go in her stead, and why she was answering his door.

She explains that she can't actually explain all that much about why he cant use demogorgons and mindflayers in his campaigns, because NDAs are a bitch. but does give him what she can leaving him even more curious because what the hell did a bunch of 14 year olds get into in Hawkins that require NDAs

before he leaves though he has to ask how she knows steve because that shouldn't be some huge secret.

Steph looks like a deer in headlights for a moment before doubling over with laughter, snorting hard to breathe crying laughter ( it really shouldn't be as cute as it was) once shes composed herself enough she just states "I am steve"

Sept Stobin Extravaganza Day 12: Codependent

Rated T | @sept-stobin-extravaganza | 2,183 Words (it's a long'un) | A lot of this story is inspired by this post and some of it's comments/reblogs/etc

The kids hadn’t noticed how close Steve and Robin were at first after Starcourt. Sure, the two were glued together constantly, but Dustin was fairly certain they were dating, and couples spent a lot of time together, right?

And he thought he was being proven correct in his assumptions about their relationship status when he headed over to Steve’s one Saturday in October. He didn’t bother knocking on the front door, just headed straight inside. “Steve?” he called out.

He didn’t hear a response, but he had seen the BMW in the driveway, so he took a look around. The ground floor was empty, and he didn’t see Steve in the backyard, so he headed upstairs. Once he reached the landing, he heard water running from the direction of Steve’s bedroom and ensuite. Honestly, maybe Dustin should have knocked or waited for Steve to come out, but he and his friends didn’t have a lot of boundaries, and also, Steve was like his big brother, so he didn’t think before opening the bathroom door a little (he didn’t look! He knew better than that!) and calling in.

“Steve! I need a ride! Hurry up your shower!” Dustin said.

The voice he heard back was… decidedly not Steve. “What the hell, mini-dingus?” Robin’s voice replied. He heard the curtain rustle, so he peeked his head around the door and met her eyes.

Her hair was all soapy, and she had the most disgruntled look on her face.

“I’m sorry!” he yelped.

Steve’s head popped up over top Robin’s in the gap. “Dude, just go wait in the living room. I’ll be down in, like, twenty, and I can give you a ride then.”

Dustin nodded frantically and hurried out of the room and downstairs.

He waited twenty-two minutes exactly (he kept checking his watch) while wearing a hole in the living room rug before Steve came downstairs, dried and dressed, followed closely behind by Robin.

“I thought you weren’t dating!” Dustin accused them.

Steve had the audacity to look fed up with Dustin. “We’re not.”

Dustin sputtered for a second before saying, “Then what were you doing showering together?”

Both of them just shrugged and didn’t answer his question. And they kept not, for the entire ride to the arcade, where he met up with the others.

Of course, when Dustin told the rest of the Party, none of them took it as seriously as he thought they should.

“So what?” Lucas said. “They’re dating but saying they’re not. What’s it matter?”

“What’s it matter?!” Dustin said, flabbergasted.

Of course, they didn’t realize that wasn’t the end of Steve and Robin being a lot. There were all sorts of things that they started to notice that indicated something more.

Like, one day Mike went into the Family Video to rent a movie to watch that weekend, which wasn’t out of the ordinary. However, when he went to check out, he saw Robin was wearing Steve’s name-tag. He didn’t say anything about it to her, but a couple days later, Dustin brought it up at lunch.

“I went to get a movie after school yesterday, and I get there, and Steve’s wearing Robin’s name-tag!” he told them.

“Yeah, I saw Robin wearing his name-tag on Saturday,” Mike replied.

“Really?” Dustin asked. “I asked Steve why, and he said Robin was sick. Like, I get it; he’s covering her shift or whatever, but why is he wearing her name-tag?”

“Was Steve sick on Saturday?” Lucas asked, thoughtfully.

Dustin thought it over for a minute. “I think so? When I called his house, Robin answered the phone and said something about him having a stomach bug.”

“Hm,” was all Lucas said in response.

Another time, when Lucas called Steve’s house, Robin was the one to answer again.

“Hey, Robin,” he said. “I was calling to ask Steve a question.”

She didn’t even pause before saying, “Sure, what’s up?”

“Um… Well, I wanted to know if he’d help me practice for basketball tryouts, but if he’s not free, I can call back.”

Robin hummed in thought for a moment. “He’ll be by to pick up up on Saturday just after lunch. Like 2-ish. Does that work for you?”

“I… guess?” he told her. “Are you sure that’s fine with him?”

“Yep!” she said, popping the P.

The two sat in awkward silence for a few moments too long. “Okay, bye,” he said quickly and hung up the phone.

Well, Steve showed up at 2PM on the dot Saturday, so Lucas just rolled with it. His mom agreed to stuff for his dad all the time, so this must’ve just been like that.

Now, Max wasn’t around Steve and Robin as much as the boys so she hadn’t been having as many weird experiences as they were, but she definitely had one that stuck out so much that she broke her month-long avoidance to tell them.

It happened when she’d been about to skate home from school and she passed Steve’s car in the parking lot. He raised one hand to her as she approached, Robin at his side.

Max just gave him a tight smile, so Steve let her be and turned back to Robin.

But when he did, Robin just opened her mouth, and he reached in and pulled out her gum and stuck it in his own mouth. What the actual fuck?

Max just straight-up stopped and did a one-hundred-eighty-degree turn and headed back to the entrance of the school where she waited for the boys to come out.

“Max!” Dustin cheered upon seeing her. “What’s up?”

“Have they been super weird around you guys too?” she asked them.

“Who?” Mike asked, brows furrowed.

“Steve and Robin.”

Lucas looked at her carefully. “What’d they do now?”

She paused before telling him. “I just saw Steve pull gum out of Robin’s mouth and put it in his own to chew.”

All three boys chorused, “Ew!”

“Why?” Dustin cried out.

Lucas told her, “We’ve been keeping track. They’ve been insanely weird lately. Dustin thought they were just dating, but this goes way beyond that.”

“Yeah,” Mike chimed in. “Like, we’re not sure if it’s a new thing or if they’ve been like this the whole time, and we just didn’t notice.”

Max hummed, “Hm. Keep me looped in. I wanna know what’s up too.”

Lucas gave her a bright smile. “Sure!”

And the boys did. Every couple days, Max joined them at lunch to compare notes of whatever weirdness Steve and Robin had gotten up to lately. Most of the discoveries were from Dustin, who saw Steve way more than the rest of them, but they all had something. So far, they’d discovered that the two would only ever eat sharing a plate, Robin seemingly never left Steve’s house, and they apparently shared a toothbrush (they all found that one even nastier than the gum thing). One time, Dustin even got traumatized walking in on Steve shirtless with Robin popping a huge pimple on his back.

A few weeks after the gum incident, the four kids were gathered in Steve’s living room for a movie night. It’d been a while since they’d all hung out together outside of school, and technically they still weren’t. The absence of two of their Party members was sorely felt.

Out of the corner of his eye, Dustin saw Steve watch them mope for a few minutes before taking a deep breath and suggesting, “Okay, you know what, why don’t you guys call Will? I’m sure he misses you.”

“Really?” Mike asked, incredulously.

“Yes, really, Mike. It’s not like I pay the phone bill. I’m sure my parents can afford the long distance charge,” he informed the boys.

Then it was a scramble as the three hurried to the phone. Max hung back, though.

“Don’t want to talk to Will?” Robin asked her.

“No,” she told her. “If I could, I’d talk to El, but you know she can’t come on the phone.”

Robin sighed. “Yeah. That sucks, kiddo. Want to get your nails painted while we wait? I did ours earlier.” She patted the cushion next where they were practically glued together on the couch.

Max thought about it for a moment before nodding. “Sure,” she agreed and sat on the couch. “Wait.” She went back over what Robin said. “Our nails?”

“Oh yeah!” Steve said cheerfully. “Robs painted our toes earlier.” He wiggled them on the rug, and they were indeed painted; they were even in the same shade as Robin’s toes.

“Yeah! We don’t like polish on our hands, so toes only!” she said. “But I can paint your fingers.”

“… Okay.” Max picked a color from the bag Steve offered her and sat patiently while Robin painted, Steve holding the bottle for her.

When Robin had finished the first coat, she capped the bottle and said to Max, “I need to take a pee break! Let that dry, and we’ll finish it when we get back.”

Max raised an eyebrow at her. “Where’s Steve going?” she asked, since Steve got up too.

“… The bathroom?” he said, confused.

“Together?” Max asked them.

Robin just shrugged, and the two headed into the guest bathroom off the living room.

Whatever. If the two wanted to sneak off to make-out and lie very obviously about it, she wasn’t going to say anything.

Eventually, after her second coat was dried and the three of them had started watching TV, the boys came out of the kitchen, finished with their call to Will.

“How’s baby Byers?” Steve asked.

The boys told him all about what was going on in Will’s life, while Steve and Robin just nodded along and listened.

“Cool,” Robin said when they were all done. “Sounds like you had a good chat.”

“Mhm,” Steve added. “Now, what do you all want for dinner?”

All four of them looked at each other before saying in unison, “Pizza!”

Of course, getting all of them to agree on pizza toppings was a nightmare. It took almost 30 minutes of haggling with Steve over what he was willing to pay for. Mike only wanted pepperoni, Lucas didn’t really care but didn’t want too many ‘wet’ toppings, and Max wanted anything but pepperoni to be contrary to Mike.

“I want supreme,” Dustin told him.

“Okay, but no mushrooms. We’re allergic,” Steve told him.

Dustin stared at him for almost a full minute before saying slowly, “You’re not allergic to mushrooms, Steve. I’ve seen you eat them at my house before.”

“Well, Robin’s allergic,” he said matter-of-factly with his hands on his hips. “So no mushrooms.”

“Robin can just have a different pizza, Steve! The mushrooms are important to the balance of the supreme pizza. Without them, both the taste and texture are altered.”

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s either no mushrooms or no supreme pizza, Henderson. You’re the only one who wanted it, and I’m not about to order a specialty pizza just for you.”

“But-!”

“Nuh-uh. Those are your two options,” he said firmly.

Dustin rolled his eyes so hard they almost rolled out of his head. “Fine. No mushrooms. God!”

When he stomped back over to the Party, he complained to them about what just happened.

“So because Robin can’t eat mushrooms, he can’t either?” Max asked.

The four looked over to where the two were standing at the landline, Steve dialing to order the pizza.

“Maybe it’s a serious enough allergy that they can’t kiss if he’s eaten any?” Lucas suggested.

“Maybe,” Dustin conceded. “But you know, I’ve never seen them kiss… Like even once.”

The rest of the group thought over all the past interactions they’ve observed and agreed.

“They might not like PDA,” Mike said.

Max chimed in, “Maybe they’re really not dating. Maybe they’re just weird.”

“They were showering together,” Dustin said to her.

“True…” she conceded. “And I saw them go to the bathroom together earlier tonight. Pretty sure that was to have a secret make-out session,” Max added.

“Really?” Lucas asked her.

“Mhm.”

“They’re like my grandparents,” Lucas said to them all.

Mike frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Like, they’re so in-tune, as if they’d been together forever. But then sometimes they’re so weird it’s not like my grandparents at all,” he explained.

“Like with the name-tags thing?” Dustin asked.

“Yeah!”

“Who even knows with those two,” Max said. “Maybe they’re just trauma-bonded or whatever. And it messed them up along the way.”

“No way!” Dustin insisted. “Steve’s not like that.”

“Gum, Dustin,” she said. “I saw him pull it right out of her mouth.”

“Ew, yeah. Maybe you’re right.”

Mike added, “Too bad El’s not here. She’d be able to figure out whatever was going on.”

The group saw as Robin poked Steve in the chest as he was hanging up the phone, and Steve said, “That was right in the nipple!” and clutched his chest.

“Score!” she cheered, laughing. He started chuckling too, leaning in and resting his head on her shoulder.

“Yeah,” Max agreed. “They’re too weird to figure out without superpowers.”