Latest Posts by neyso - Page 6

Having your lost memories return the moment your partner and enemy sacrifices himself to save you the exact same way you did for him and even mimics your final words… a terrible day for Akutagawa’s fake ass “idgaf” self. Just terrible.

This chapter really illustrates just how young they were when they met. Akutagawa is 14 and Dazai 16 here.

This wasn’t Akutagawa being groomed into crime by an adult man with several years of experience under his belt and a fully developed brain. This was a 16 year old who had the intellect to prop himself up as much larger and older than he actually was and who had been functioning in that way for awhile. This was a kid leading another kid into the everyday violence that surrounded them, violence that Dazai had come to live and breathe at this point. Violence that Dazai had already learned how to wield very well.

you're all the same

This is so beautifully devastating, I'm gonna be sick. They really are even now

This man has a chest pain for sure

He grabs his clothes when he's nervous/scared I'm gonna sob

Henry is not this perfectly composed psychopath that some people like to pretend he is. He loved Bunny, and he hated him, and those two things can and do coexist. Killing Bunny broke something in Henry, or maybe it unearthed something that had always been broken. But he still loved him. That was his best friend and his worst enemy and sometimes those two things aren’t so different. In this essay, I will…

Francis visits Henry’s grave every year. Alone.

No one else does — no one else wants to. Charles avoids the topic entirely. Camilla sends Francis clipped replies when he brings it up. Richard pretends he never gets the messages. But Francis marks the day like a liturgy. Like a holy feast. Like penance.

He books the same suite in a faceless hotel. Wears the same black coat. Packs the same silver lighter — an old one Henry once admired in passing. It’s all performative, of course. But what is Catholicism if not grief wrapped in ritual? He fasts before the visit. Doesn't drink the night before. He makes the trip feel like confession.

The grave is unmarked, just a patch of earth in a neglected corner of a rural cemetery, the kind no one visits on purpose. Francis had to dig to find out where Henry was buried. Had to call someone’s widow and lie. But now he knows, and he treats it like a secret shrine.

He kneels every year. Gets the dirt on his trousers, on his coat, lets the damp seep into his bones because suffering feels closer to prayer when it’s physical. And he talks.

Not to Henry. Not really. To God. To himself. To something between the two.

"You ruined everything, you know," he says once. "And so did I."

He breaks off. Lights a cigarette. Doesn’t smoke it. Leaves it burning at the grave like incense. The first year he did this, he left a bottle of scotch. Last year, he left a page torn out of a Latin prayer book. This year, he doesn’t bring anything. He just sits.

And he waits. For something. A sign. An answer. Forgiveness.

But Henry is silent. Always was. Even now, dead and buried, he’s still the one with the upper hand.

And Francis — Francis goes back to the hotel, vomits in the sink, lights another cigarette with shaking hands. He doesn’t cry. Not anymore. It’s been years. But his hands won’t stop trembling.

That night, he goes to mass. Sits in the very back. Doesn't take communion.

He knows better.

there’s something so hopeful about akutagawa no longer being weighed down by dazai’s words and free from his inherent manipulation due to his amnesia….and with this he is able to truly show us the maximum power of his own ability, unrestrained and untainted from dazai’s expectations of him.

previously, aku was only focused on getting stronger because it was dazai who was pushing him, dazai who was experimenting with him to truly bring out the potential he saw.

but now, aku has someone else to protect. he is a “martyr” for justice, as he said when he wielded the sword. bram’s resolve has manifested into a mindset that will truly take advantage of akutagawa’s inherent nature to defend and protect. like he did with his friends in the slums. like he does with his sister.

now we will all truly get to see just how powerful he can be. what his resolve is made of.

akutagawa, climbing through the agency's window:

kunikida: hold it right there

akutagawa, scowling: i am not here for conflict, though i will not hesitate if it arises--

kunikida: yeah i know; ur here to see atsushi

akutagawa: i most certainly am NOT-

kunikida, ignoring him: well you can't see him today

akutagawa, immediately forgetting his protests: you wish to keep me apart from him--

kunikida: look, brat, atsushi is in trouble right now, he can't see you--

akutagawa, worried and angry: is he hurt? why did no one inform--

kunikida: what? no!

kunikida: he did something reckless, so he's in trouble. his punishment is that he can't see you

akutagawa:

akutagawa: what

kunikida: but since your already here, here's the agency's grocery list for the week

akutagawa:

kunikida: you can see atsushi again next week

akutagawa:

akutagawa: does it matter which brands i get or--

i’m so normal about this…god. atsushi’s dejected expression while seeing the full extent of his rival-turned-partner’s abuse for the first time…atsushi finding out it was dazai who treated him like that, the same dazai he looks up to and admires for bringing him into the ADA. we’re witnessing atsushi make leaps and bounds in his understanding of why akutagawa is the way he is, in real time

I was kicked out of the house/ jk

I think it would have decimated Henry Winter to know that 40 years later, I find his passion for Homer basic. I was always more of an Aeschylus fan but beyond that if you want to pontificate on the nature of beauty and the ephemerality of life, then pursue more worthy periods and places. His inherently sexist and racist elitism has blinded him and worse rendered him boring.

donna tartt next to the two royals named the same as her incest twins 💖

i’ve been told by various european friends that the most american sentence i’ve ever said is “sophomore year of college, some friends and i road-tripped thirteen hours to florida for spring break.”

and now i can confidently say this is the most guy-who-lives-in-paris sentence i’ve ever said: “today i was cycling to meet a friend at buttes-chaumont and i went over some cobblestones and my baguette got launched out of the bike basket into the middle of the roundabout”

characters going “we were lovers once”: eh, it’s okay i guess. it’s nice enough

characters going “we were friends once”: absolutely devastating. one hit knockout i’m gone

hey when you make posts, i just want you to know, thou/thee/thy/thine/ye are like he/you(object)/your/yours/you(subject) okay? "thou art wearing shoes," "i will wear shoes for thee," okay?

you say thine if the next word starts with a vowel and thy if the next word starts with a consonant and they both mean "your" so "thine own shoes," "thy shoes," okay?

and ye means you and refers to the subject of a sentence, "ye members of the brotherhood of shoes," okay? you need this information to create better knight yaoi. i'm personally more interested in nun yuri but we are a community

Corruption

I’m sad but not in the way I’m crying 33 hours nonstop but melancholically sad because I realised that I’m in love with all of my friends and I don’t want them to leave high school and leave me alone in my last year

fade into you

sorry for the quality I expected this to just be a doodle

good morning secret history nation

The way I am in love with my friends is concerning

I know that I’m more than likely to meet other wonderful, thoughtful woman in my life who will be my friend and lover but something about my closest friend doesn’t live me alone as it should. I wish we met again in the future by coincidence, by chance, by play of a devious fate. I wish to see her as an adult woman who has everything she wanted. Lord, give her everything she wants.

there is another life but nothing really can be changed once you are the main characters of sentimental tragedy of one soul trapped in different bodies

am I reincarnation of Simone de Beauvoir or why do I feel every single line from the inseparables

am I reincarnation of Simone de Beauvoir or why do I feel every single line from the inseparables

idk man. i just think itd be really cool if sign language classes were mandatory throughout primary school. yeah because it would make communication with deaf kids and autistic/nonverbal kids much easier. and those kids would be accessible to the others so they could make friends and have healthy relationships. yeah. and kids would eat that shit up man. like their own little secret language? they love that.

hi, a lot of you need a perspective reset

the average human lifespan globally is 70+ years

taking the threshold of adulthood as 18, you are likely to spend at least 52 years as a fully grown adult

at the age of 30 you have lived less than one quarter of your adult life (12/52 years)

'middle age' is typically considered to be between 45-65

it is extremely common to switch careers, start new relationships, emigrate, go to college for the first or second time, or make other life-changing decisions in middle age

it's wild that I even have to spell it out, but older adults (60+) still have social lives and hobbies and interests.

you can still date when you get old. you can still fuck. you can still learn new skills, be fashionable, be competitive. you can still gossip, you can still travel, you can still read. you can still transition. you can still come out.

young doesn't mean peaked. you're inexperienced in your 20s! you're still learning and practicing! you're developing social skills and muscle memory that will last decades!

there are a million things to do in the world, and they don't vanish overnight because an imaginary number gets too big

My oil painting of an Uncrustable