Date Someone Who Understands You're A Work In Progress But Still Adores You For The Absolute Fucking

Thinking of how writings and bathrooms have become my safe spaces, to the point where I can be around other people, and instead just go to a bathroom and just write, but it's also a balancing act, the act of trying not feel everything at once lest you break down...And how to actually allow your emotions to flow and let them not define you. It's an uncomfortable, comfortable safe space where I know this writing helps, but I don't would rather not feel anything, life is weird but true like that, we are all somewhat prisoners of some memory, or fear, or disappointment—we at certain points in our lives are all defined by something we cannot change

Most often than not we don't own the way we feel, and to be not in control of your emotions is an all too frequent and sad thing, scary too

VM

In my bed in my head in my heart

I walk down memory lane because

I love running into you

Rose tinted memories come flooding in

And I have you back for a few

Its hard to think

That not everything is cataclysmic

That the universe didn't plan for us

When all the pieces seemed to have fallen into place

Wrong person right timing?

Maybe next time around

When you're brought into my orbit

Ill have new moons and might finally know my place in this galaxy

But will our gravity be enough to make you stay

3 years ago I wasn't enough

3 hours ago I was too much

And what a shame

I had already imagined us

I dont know if I loved you, or the space you filled

In my bed, in my head, in my heart

And I can still see it

Concerts in your boxers and rooftop philosophies

I loved the thought of being with you

Or maybe it was the thought of not being on my own anymore

Alone

In my bed, in my head, in my heart

How do I ask the universe for anything other than you?

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IMBIMHIMH 28/12/21

I think people would be happier if they admitted things more often. In a sense we are all prisoners of some memory, or fear, or disappointment—we are all defined by something we can’t change.

“I have no enemies, but my friends don’t like me.”

— Philip Larkin

You deserve the love you keep trying to give everyone else.

My lover had a lover

oh it wasn’t fun

but I loved him like no other

oh it wasn’t fun

wasted time is pure golden

in the red eye of the beholder

Take my hand because I can’t see

all the things I let you do to me

counting tears as they fall up

I’m upside down, and totally fucked

I won’t dare let you let me down

for you made me a fool, a goddamn clown

like a little lost sputnik 

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