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When you left, I thought part of me died. No part of me died when you came back and ripped my heart out like it was nothing, like you felt nothing.
I don't think you know how many times you've talked me off a ledge without even realizing it.
I really do need you
After you, I don’t know if I believe in love or I believe in how the idea of having you was more appealing than being alone with myself. Still, I don’t blame you for leaving, who would want to stay to begin with? I dont even like myself.
You taught me that I should love myself first. That my happiness shouldn’t be rooted in another human. Because human love is doomed to fail from the very start and I should have ran away the first time.
Love isn’t a lie. It’s something that can mask just how unhappy you really are while saying you are the happiest you’ve ever been.
After I broke up with him
Look at me! I’m the strongest in the sea. My lungs take in the water like it’s air and send it out with great flair. Look at me! I’m humble like the earth, my arms stretch out to hug the masses as my heart burns what’s left of ashes. Look at me! I’m fluid like the air, moving about without a care, letting those who wrong me pass me by until I’m left alone to die. Look at me. I’m alone like fire. Don’t get too close, I’m a broken wire, threatening to burn and combust into nothing. Look at me. My humble trying and desperate crying did nothing to appease those demons. My heart was burned and left to nothing as I sit here in solemn quiet. Look at me.
Look at what I’ve done
I have never fallen so in love with anyone until I met you. I have never fallen so in love with the look of passion in your eyes when you look at me from across a room full of people. I have never fallen so in love with they way someone someone holds me until I met you. I have never fallen in love before I met you.
You make my heart hurt
I feel the safest when I'm wrapped up in your arms. The comedy show is just a background noise to the sound of your heart beat as I lay my head on your chest. Your arms feel so strong and your breaths remind that this is real. That I am here and you are with me, and that you are the one who makes me feel safe.
I spent the whole day with you
A sleepless night isn't as bad as it could be when I am talking with you.
2 am Thoughts
I thought you weren't coming back, so I gave up hoping you would. I gave up because someone like me doesn't just become friends with someone like you. Someone of your caliber would go to someone much more deserving and not already gone.
Inside the Artist #6
This feeling, what is it? Puppy love? A school boy crush? I hope not, I want this feeling to last. This feeling of belonging right where I am and not having to prove myself to get here. I want this to last, I want this to last. I want this peace to keep flowing over me, I want to feel like I am nothing. Because that is what I feel is going to be my escape when everything comes crashing down around me. Because you'll still be here, and I'll still be me.
Inside the Artist #5
I thought I'd be fine when you decided to leave. But here I am in a puddle of my own tears and trying to figure out to turn off these damned things called emotions.
2 AM Thoughts
Your eyes are the sky. Your voice is the earth. And your hug is what keeps me grounded.
Before you left
I'd like to say that I'm alive. But I can't. I feel more like a ghost as I walk through the halls, my touch barely changing anything as I go past. My voice only a whisper in the wind as I yell for help out of the repeating hell. Because to be alive, you just be doing something extraordinary. Otherwise, you become something of a shadow left to watch as everyone forgets about you.
I'd love to feel alive
I doubt you realize how easy it was for you to make a home in my heart. To make me feel as if you were all that I needed. Now here I am, with blood on my chest and my heart in my hands that you so easily ripped out. And what hurt the most isn't that my heart was torn out. It was that you knew how easy it would be to do just that.
You've made me numb
In the darkness of night I swear I can feel you next to me. It breaks my heart when I wake up only to see a half empty bed and the tear stains I made when you left. It hurts even more knowing I won't hear from you for months. Don't forget what you've left behind.
Stay safe at boot camp
I put it to my head and pulled the trigger. I should have listened when they said love was a dangerous thing.
Love is a different death
I’ve wished on every star, but nothing has come true. I’ve wished for you every 11:11, but yet you’re still just as out of reach as before. I’ve wished on every eye lash and every dandelion, but yet you’re still one thousand miles away. And I’m still right here. Alone, withering away with the last weed I wished upon.
I’d call them flowers, but they’re damned
Would you still love me knowing you could never make me happy? Or is that too much to ask for?
Six feet under
I hate that I need constant reassurance that you actually like me. I hate that I always feel like a burden. I hate that I say stupid things. I hate that I can’t take them back. I hate that I hate myself. But I love that you don’t hate me.
I can safely say that I don’t hate you too
You help me see the world in color.
Before, it was all black and white
In the dead of night, I can only find you. So I’m left to wonder, When it’s 2 am and you can’t sleep, Do you think of me too?
I hope you do
Misery is knowing that I'm always going to be your second choice. Because there is always someone better than me.
It's fine since I'm used to it now
I still fake my smiles, but around you I feel as if I don’t need to.
My wounds start to heal around you
I’m sorry if I seem distant. I’m sorry that I keep apologizing about the little things I do. I’m sorry that sometimes I stumble over my words when I know what I want to say. I’m sorry that you had to order food for me sometimes because I was afraid to speak to the waiter. I’m sorry that I made this situation more awkward than it should have been. I’m sorry that I made whatever we had weird. I’m sorry that we became so close. I’m sorry that I upset you because you couldn’t make me happy anymore. I’m sorry that my mind decided to close itself off to you. I’m sorry that this bottle of pills is the only thing standing between me and happiness.
I’m sorry that I ruined you
How do you love someone who won’t love you back? Easy. You suffer in silence and pray for something to stop the pain. Whether or not it is the person you love is completely up to circumstance. But I can’t say I’d take love from someone else over the bullet to heart that you so easily gave to me.
From the bottom of my (not yet dead) heart
In the blink of an eye I could lose you. I hope and pray that I won’t, but those eyes and that personality will get you so many girls. So many girls that can give you the love that I can’t. Even though I can’t influence your feelings towards me, I want to stay close. Because to me, being too close is better than watching you slip right through my fingers into another girl’s arms.
What I've realized when I was at your house
My love is like those storm clouds that refuse to look normal. Love is not normal. My love is a fire that demands to be fed. One that has a passion outside the bed that we won't lay in. My love is not interested about what's in your pants. It's interested in your mind. Your thoughts. Your feelings. My love is nothing like anything you've experienced because my love is not your ex's. My love is not your mother's. This is my love. And it is only for you.
C.M. Lawliet
The day will come when I’m over you. That day may be the same day you realize you love me too. I can’t wait forever but you and your feelings can take their time. Because what was lost for me may return, but not the same as it was before.
Is this flirting or am I thinking too much?
I still look for you during my games even though we ended it months ago.
On the court or bench