Nicoledavisss - Wistful Thinking

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Late night thoughts 4/20

I’m laying in bed, and I’m thinking of you. For some reason tonight, your face is burned into my mind and all the memories we shared are playing over and over. I miss you, like crazy and I can’t shake this feeling of loneliness. I’m so alone without you. I may seem happy, but the smile I paste on my lips isn’t real. It’s as fake as a hookers tits. I know, I’m thousands of miles away from you, but even distance can’t make my heart forget you. The distance can’t take the picture of your smile out of my mind, nor can it dislodge your voice from my ears. All I can hear is you calling me baby, and telling me that you love me. Why must you do this to me? Why must your face be burned into my mind? I’m not happy that you’re moving to NC… I moved away from NY to get away from you, to try and pick up all the little pieces you shattered my heart into. And you’re making it hard, even not talking to you, it doesn’t make me love you any less. I’ll love you until the day that I die. I hope that someday soon I can finally paste a real smile on my face and be genuinely happy. But until that day, I guess I’ll just be alone and depressed. I love you to the moon and back, darling. Goodnight…

May 31, 2014

I'm sitting here next to you in bed and you're sleeping. You're so adorable when you're asleep. You look so peaceful and happy. I wish you'd look that way all the time. I hate seeing you so upset now. I wish I could help you, I really do. But it seems like I can't. You mean everything to me, I really hope you know that. Even though you can't read this, maybe one day you can. And you'll see how I feel.

why are you so passionate about this

You would think that I would feel better since we've been broken up for over a month now, but in reality I've gotten worse. Each day that goes by stabs me with the pain of everything that happened. I wish I could change your mind and make you happy again. I miss you more and each day. I'm so happy that we still talk, but you say there's no chance of us getting back together but deep down inside I feel like that is a lie. I feel like there still is a chance. Please God, why me? Why did this have to happen? Why can't you help me fix everything? I wish I had a time machine, or that God would give me a miracle and everything would go back to how it was when we were both happy with each other. I'm still praying that time will bring us back together and you'll see that we were meant to be together. I've changed so much, and I hope you see that.