"leave The Heroics To People Who Have Less To Offer The World."

fun fact i finished crimson rivers right before my therapy appointment and i went in there eyes red heart broken in a state of dissociation and she thought it was over my family but no. i was emotionally distraught over two gay men who fought through hell and death arenas to get to each other and have a family and not be a great big tragedy.

ARCANE TIKTOK IS SO FUCKING FUNNY RIGHT NOW OHMYGOD. TEAM JAYCE. ANTI JAYCE. OR NEUTRAL.

in my head sirius and regulus are zuko and azula in another universe. The heirs of a kingdom, the familial expectations, groomed from a young age by their families, seperated by those expectations. Sirius being the "different" outcasted one, regulus being the "prodigy" who couldn't unlearn the family's ways. zuko's exile (leaving home at 16), azula's crashout when the life she wanted isn't what it seemed (sets the stage for regulus' betrayal). Zuko joining team avatar AKA sirius finding the marauders. Yup.

i think one of the most devastating parts of choices for me was all the things that were left unsaid between all of them. all the words they chose to swallow and never say. james and sirius never really processed or talked about how he was in love with regulus, what he saw in him, never learned the full truth of how much it hurt sirius. even close to the end of the story, when reg visits sirius' dreams it's clear he's not over it. that they just brushed it away and then reg dies and you can tell that he really doesn't have a clue just how much this destroys james.

the same for sirius and reg. they never hash it out, they never fully understand the depths of which they care about each other because they never let themselves really talk about it. they both echo this sentiment, saying they thought they'd have more time. more time to say all thats unsaid, that sirius DID write those letters, regulus DID love sirius, that they both felt abandoned by each other but loved each other so much. it's just so tragic to me.

the fact that sirius never fucking knew. never found out is so painful. no one else in that house cared enough to do anything about it, but sirius would have. he would've done everything in his power to keep reg safe, he genuinely believes he DID do everything to keep reg safe while he was there. their relationship deteriorated right as reg started needing him most and sirius started believing he didn't need him at all.

choices lucius malfoy is my biggest enemy

did i finish season 2 of arcane or did season 2 of arcane finish me. What the fuck did I just experience what the actual fuck

real asfk i was sitting there with james, blind leading the blind, nodding my head when he said he would NOT let them be doomed.

Violently sobbing over Jegulus breaking up

I know from the beginning Reg told James he couldn’t be saved but wow I didn’t expect it to hurt this bad

❛ finally the skin reflects the madness within. ❜

❛ you'd know all about the madness within, wouldn't you, remus? ❜

– as a way of saying thank you for showing interest in my fic (which i'm truly am trying to grind out) and just to generally share with the wolfstar community, here's a wolfstar edit i made

(might be laggy because everything makes the quality terrible, sorry :( )

i fear im so deep into escapism i've forgotten how to live my own life. it all just feels lacklustre in comparison.

“All the reminders of the boy he couldn’t save” I think it’d actually be less painful if someone just stabbed me in the chest