Worst Part Of Reading Choices Is The Constant What If's I Keep Asking Myself. What If Dumbledore Had

definitely don't read it and protect your peace. i absolutely loved choices and it makes sense that in a canon compliant world he somehow has to be able to move on from regulus. but ohmygod. the love they had was so magical and beautiful and seamless and then it crashed and then boom hes with lily. AND ITS ALL WRITTEN SO WELL THAT LIKE. THE WRITING WAS ON THE WALL BUT U ARE STILL FLABBERGASTED. I was clawing at my chest praying for death to just take me honestly.

One of my favourite things about Choices is how thoroughly interwoven jily and jegulus are. they're always present like a lingering shadow but I wish we had seen more of the time inbetween the end of jegulus and the start of Jily. The guilt James must have felt at moving on, despite everything that went down between him and Regulus. the fact that it was with LILY, who regulus always felt insecure about. And when I think about it too much my heart aches.

Because it was truly so insane. Like I think it hit him so hard. because he loved regulus, truly loved him. Regulus had him, unconditionally, with no strings or games, all of him. and all james wanted was for him to love him back more than he hated himself. more than he was scared. to try another path. to not give up. and he had SO much hope for them, that they would work. And in those moments with Regulus he just felt so full and so happy and then Regulus was gone and left this humongous hole in his life and the only person that can fill it is the very person Regulus was always scared was really meant for james.

i’m reading choices by messermoon right now and i know the ending is going to be unbelievably painful, heck, it already hurts so much right now and i’m only halfway through. but there’s absolutely no way i will stop. i just love the marauders too much. and i just love james and regulus too much. what they have is so fucking beautiful and special. their love for each other is bigger than life. i think that’s why it aches. every scene where they’re with each other, where they’re just happy, sharing a memory and a kiss, makes my chest ache because i know it will end and once it does, it will tear me apart

fun fact i finished crimson rivers right before my therapy appointment and i went in there eyes red heart broken in a state of dissociation and she thought it was over my family but no. i was emotionally distraught over two gay men who fought through hell and death arenas to get to each other and have a family and not be a great big tragedy.

rip regulus black you would've loved mitski

rip regulus black you would’ve loved florence + the machine

this is literally wolfstar.

new ship dynamic called schrodinger’s divorce where characters are simultaneously bitterly divorced and fondly married for twenty years

the epilogue of choices paralleling the end of the song of achilles is so magical to me. two souls finding their way back together in the next life because this one wasn't ready for them. all the ways patrochilles parallels jegulus in choices is my favourite in general but the ending SPECIFICALLY. Knowing they're together out there is so important to me

finished choices and i genuinely feel like i've just served on the front lines of a battle and barely made it out alive holy shit. fic so devastating i was crying for hours dry heaving and retching like i genuinely LOOKED sick. so devastating it had me crying in public (which I haven't been able to do for years) So heartbreaking It feels like it carved out a piece of me.

canon sirius this canon sirius that canon sirius knew a man who canonically cross-dressed (even if for convenience) & did not bully him, did not mistreat him, did not approach the subject with malice or negativity. canon sirius said, verbatim, "if you want to know what a man's like, take a look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." canon sirius asked remus for forgiveness for not believing in the best of him. canon sirius instantly, without hesitation, forgave remus for believing in the worst of him. canon sirius expressed sympathy for barty crouch jr in regards to his father's neglect and entertained the possibility that barty may have been "in the wrong place at the wrong time" when discussing his crime. canon sirius, when he thought he would be a free man, immediately offered his godson a home and a place with him, even without being aware of the neglect his godson faced, even before he had a home to offer, and he did so by prefacing that he would understand if his godson didn't want to, making it clear he would not try to force him. canon sirius could be cruel, and insensitive, and vengeful, and obstinate—but that's not all he was. canon sirius could also be compassionate and sympathetic and forgiving and accepting. canon sirius was complex, and it goes both ways, in the direction of his faults as well as his virtues. btw.

in my head sirius and regulus are zuko and azula in another universe. The heirs of a kingdom, the familial expectations, groomed from a young age by their families, seperated by those expectations. Sirius being the "different" outcasted one, regulus being the "prodigy" who couldn't unlearn the family's ways. zuko's exile (leaving home at 16), azula's crashout when the life she wanted isn't what it seemed (sets the stage for regulus' betrayal). Zuko joining team avatar AKA sirius finding the marauders. Yup.