this is literally wolfstar.
new ship dynamic called schrodinger’s divorce where characters are simultaneously bitterly divorced and fondly married for twenty years
when the fanfiction is so fucking devastating it has you clawing at your chest trying to remind yourself it's just fiction. but i still feel sick and i cant stop crying and everything hurts and aches because it hurt hit too close to home
and win. that scrawny ass bitch is more beard than muscle.
If I could fist fight Dumbledore right now I’d do it
Remus lupin realising there were all these other werewolves out there who never got the same opportunity he did. That he was truly the exception and it was because Albus planned to use him from the very beginning. Remus recognising he was instilled with this sense of debt towards dumbledore, Remus becoming disillusioned with Dumbledore and started seeing him for what he really was. Looking at the man they'd all followed in blind faith and wondered where the hell it got them and questioning if he was even worth following. Remus taking the job in POA not only because he needs the money, but because he wants to keep a closer eye, knowing that harry was under Dumbledore's care. Because he knew firsthand that at the end of the day Dumbledore's protection wasn't worth that much.
worst part of reading choices is the constant what if's i keep asking myself. what if dumbledore had got them out of there? what if regulus had fallen in love with james sooner? what if sirius had taken him with him that day? what if he had just gone with james after the ministry attack? what if he had just stayed at hogwarts? what if he had brought cerci to the cave? what if what if what if.
GUILTY
ARCANE TIKTOK IS SO FUCKING FUNNY RIGHT NOW OHMYGOD. TEAM JAYCE. ANTI JAYCE. OR NEUTRAL.
i just sobbed and hyperventilated over regulus blacks death in choices !!
i think one of the most devastating parts of choices for me was all the things that were left unsaid between all of them. all the words they chose to swallow and never say. james and sirius never really processed or talked about how he was in love with regulus, what he saw in him, never learned the full truth of how much it hurt sirius. even close to the end of the story, when reg visits sirius' dreams it's clear he's not over it. that they just brushed it away and then reg dies and you can tell that he really doesn't have a clue just how much this destroys james.
the same for sirius and reg. they never hash it out, they never fully understand the depths of which they care about each other because they never let themselves really talk about it. they both echo this sentiment, saying they thought they'd have more time. more time to say all thats unsaid, that sirius DID write those letters, regulus DID love sirius, that they both felt abandoned by each other but loved each other so much. it's just so tragic to me.
canon sirius this canon sirius that canon sirius knew a man who canonically cross-dressed (even if for convenience) & did not bully him, did not mistreat him, did not approach the subject with malice or negativity. canon sirius said, verbatim, "if you want to know what a man's like, take a look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." canon sirius asked remus for forgiveness for not believing in the best of him. canon sirius instantly, without hesitation, forgave remus for believing in the worst of him. canon sirius expressed sympathy for barty crouch jr in regards to his father's neglect and entertained the possibility that barty may have been "in the wrong place at the wrong time" when discussing his crime. canon sirius, when he thought he would be a free man, immediately offered his godson a home and a place with him, even without being aware of the neglect his godson faced, even before he had a home to offer, and he did so by prefacing that he would understand if his godson didn't want to, making it clear he would not try to force him. canon sirius could be cruel, and insensitive, and vengeful, and obstinate—but that's not all he was. canon sirius could also be compassionate and sympathetic and forgiving and accepting. canon sirius was complex, and it goes both ways, in the direction of his faults as well as his virtues. btw.
regulus's lifeforce using his final moments to try and hash things out with his brother breaks my heart so much. he really loved him the best way he could, it was always sirius for him. the first person he loved, and first person he lost and i stand by the fact that it was his most defining relationship. like yes, his relationship with james was so important and impacted him in so many ways but sirius shaped him yk? his final moments may have been spent thinking of james but it was sirius that his soul went to first. he always loved him even when he wasn't strong enough. one of my favourite moments is after the prank he took the time to try and get james to understand (?) sirius and the way he thinks even when he gets nothing out of it. the fact that they never fixed things will always be the greatest tragedy. because above all else that would've been redemption for him, to him.