All those "we need more weird queers" posts pointing out how our community won't accept even the simplest of things but now we have to add trans men onto it.
*nonbinary person calls themself lesbian* "only women can be lesbian!"
*nonbinary person calls themself gay* "you're not attracted to the same gender though!"
*nonbinary person calls themself straight* "that doesn't make any sense!"
*nonbinary person calls themself trixic* "made up label!"
*nonbinary person calls themself toric* "unnecessary label!"
*nonbinary person calls themself gynosexual/romantic/etc.* "you're equating women with vaginas!"
*nonbinary person calls themself androsexual/romantic/etc.* "you're reducing men to penises!*
*nonbinary person calls themself skoliosexual/romantic/etc.* "nonbinary doesn't have a look! you can't be attracted to nonbinary people!"
*nonbinary person calls themself bi* "you're reinforcing the gender binary!"
*nonbinary person calls themself pan* "you're othering transgender people!"
*nonbinary person calls themself poly* "you're just trying to be special!"
*nonbinary person calls themself omni* "that's not a real thing!"
*nonbinary person calls themself ace/aro* "you're just a cisgender heterosexual invading the community!"
*nonbinary person calls themself queer* "that's too vague!"
*binary person uses a label to explicitly express attraction to nonbinary people* "you're fetishising nonbinary people!"
the thread that ties them all together isn't that our labels are wrong or don't make sense, it's that you don't want us to exist and hate on us no matter what we do.
Ice cold takes from a Transgender Woman:
Not all Men are evil
Everyone has the capacity for evil
Transgender Men are men
Transgender Women are women
Excluding Cisgender Men from your spaces requires Transgender Men to out themselves if they want to engage (Same for Women)
Anyone can be Non-Binary, there is no "look" or requirement
Non-binary masculine presenting people should be welcome in queer spaces, many are just treated as men and predators
Non-binary feminine presenting people should be welcome in queer spaces without being seen as "Woman-Lite"
hey don’t cry. every single transandrophobic post you see is actually just one of fite-club’s ten thousand alt accounts. yeah it’s okay. no one except him actually thinks like that
Be gay, trans and alive
hi, a lot of you need a perspective reset
the average human lifespan globally is 70+ years
taking the threshold of adulthood as 18, you are likely to spend at least 52 years as a fully grown adult
at the age of 30 you have lived less than one quarter of your adult life (12/52 years)
'middle age' is typically considered to be between 45-65
it is extremely common to switch careers, start new relationships, emigrate, go to college for the first or second time, or make other life-changing decisions in middle age
it's wild that I even have to spell it out, but older adults (60+) still have social lives and hobbies and interests.
you can still date when you get old. you can still fuck. you can still learn new skills, be fashionable, be competitive. you can still gossip, you can still travel, you can still read. you can still transition. you can still come out.
young doesn't mean peaked. you're inexperienced in your 20s! you're still learning and practicing! you're developing social skills and muscle memory that will last decades!
there are a million things to do in the world, and they don't vanish overnight because an imaginary number gets too big
Was doing some light reading, and came across this paper that reminded me of discourse from a few weeks back.
Anyone remember when that post was floating around about how "theyfab" was actually invented by transfems to make fun of trans men/enbies who use their AGAB as a shield to protect themselves against criticism? Basically leveraging "oh I'm just a female, I'm so innocent", strawman bullshit?
Then others chimed in about how it actually came from 4chan as a way to mock enbies who aren't "trans enough"?
Well, here's an actual academic source on the issue, to shove a knife in this whole argument, as I'm sure it'll pop up again:
...
Sure looks like the "transandrobros" were right once again
Straight from an actual academic paper
"Theyfab" is infact 4chan lingo made to shit on people "not doing trans right" and isn't some transfem counter culture buzzword like some people claim it to be
the problem with being an intersex nonbinary person is that you have experienced both uniquely transmasc and transfem things, but because you are neither you can join neither conversation without being told “you’re afab you can’t have experienced this!” or “you’ve not medically transitioned so this can’t happen to you!”
intersex trans people exist. intersex nonbinary people exist. regardless of what our “agab” is, or whether we’ve taken hormones or not, we have experiences that need to be included in your conversations. by gatekeeping these conversations you’re leaving vital voices out of the narrative.
i just remembered that back in elementary and high school, i was friends with a lot of guys and most of them were boy scouts. we were such a tight knit group that it sucked that i was getting left out of things that they wanted me to be a part of. these were all cishet identifying boys at the time, and because i was expressing that i wished i could be in scouts with them, they actually went to their scout leader on my behalf to ask if i could be let in even though i was a "girl". they didn't see me as any different than them. they didn't understand why i couldn't be a part of it.
if you ask me, that's all the proof anyone needs that transphobia & misogyny are learned, not innate. these boys were not old enough to have it drilled into their head at "girls" can't do things that boys "can". they were too young to understand that a "girl" wanting to be masc and seen as a boy could ever be a "bad thing". they saw me as one of the boys. it was never questioned. i actually visited all of these friends after i transitioned and started T and none of them had issues.
they always saw me as one of the boys, to the point of fighting on my behalf to try to get me accepted into their boyscout troop. transphobia, misogyny, and all of these other forms of hatred are learned. not innate. don't let anyone brainwash you into thinking that boys and men are inherently hateful. they're not
May I add that anybody with visible top surgery scars is at risk of being attacked?
Did we all collectively forget about that cis guy with gynecomastia scars who was assaulted because people thought he was a trans man?
It's not just about looking too manly, or having visible breasts. Any visible indicator that you're trans puts you at risk.
Trfs: "transandrobros keep making everything about trans women, even when it has nothing to do with trans women!"
Also trfs:
Nix, They/Them, Queer, 20s Sporadically active.Do not gender me.
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