nixisverytired

Latest Posts by nixisverytired

"Men aren't oppressed for being men"

Trans men are real men. Trans manhood is real manhood. Trans men are oppressed for being trans men.

You're just a transphobe who hasn't actually internalized trans manhood as real manhood.

You only view manhood as an oppressive force rather than a real, genuine identity someone can feel connected to. This is transphobic.

You don't value the full scope of trans men's experiences as we define them for ourselves. You want us to sit down, shut up and let others make the decisions for us. Something most of us have been told all of our lives but is somehow progressive now that we're men....huh. Our voices are lifted up by feminist language for the misogyny we experience before we transition and then we're thrown out on the curb when we transition. We're "on thin ice" while we're pressured to self flagellate and be ashamed of our identity and when we begin to talk about the complexities of our issues we have our experiences flattened and dismissed.

You can't say trans men are men and try to dissect the trans part from the man part. You are inclined to do this because you have anti-transmasculine biases. Our experiences are the experiences of men, marginalized men who are not valued by the system.

trans women, i love you.

you were a woman yesterday. you're a woman today. you're a woman tomorrow. you're a woman forever.

trans women have existed long before those stuffy bigots sitting in a court room have. trans women will continue to exist long after they're dead and rotting in the earth.

this goes for gendered insults as well! I don't care how mad you are, or how much you dislike someone, it's still misgendering.

if a trans woman/fem person tells you to stop calling her "dude" or "bro" because it makes her feel dysphoric, then stop using those words as "gender neutral" and respect her boundaries.

if a trans man/masc person tells you to stop calling him "girl" or "bitch" because it makes him feel dysphoric, then just stop using those words as "gender neutral" and respect his boundaries.

to transcend both male and female is to be, and I thought this was obvious, transgender. everyone I've seen pushing against nonbinary inclusion in the trans community has used transphobic narratives to make their point. of course, no one should force all nonbinary people to identify with the word trans specifically (or binary people for that matter), but we all need to understand that that's what being nonbinary fundamentally is.

when laws are passed against nonbinary people, it's because they're trans. when they're disrespected for being nonbinary, it's for being transgender. when there's no space for them in society besides cringe compilations and jokes, that's happening to them because they are trans people. when people refuse to believe that their gender is nonbinary, it's because they are a part of the transgender community. the people doing these things to them are transphobic and they see nonbinary people as super [t slur]s. they are threatened by even the mere suggestion that there's more than 2 options because all forms of transness threaten cissexism and heteronormativity, even the entire concept of gender. you could say that they are phobic, even. ya know, of the transition. from binary to nonbinary.

if another trans person tells you that you don't count, that what you go through is disqualified just because you're nonbinary, it's because they're suffering from a severe case of internalized transphobia (as well as ignorance of trans history, ideology, gender theory, and purpose). they need too much help themselves to stand by you, do not engage with them. you are not taking from the community by increasing the demand for rights, support, and resources, that's not how supply and demand works. there is no limit to how many types of people can receive kindness because respect for other people is a renewable resource. in fact, if more people ask for more rights and respect and put effort into facilitating that acceptance for others, it's way more likely to increase the level of joy in the world. it's like a collective pursuit of happiness, and everyone will be better off working together.

also, if you're wondering how a person, even a binary one, who would usually be considered trans could not identify as trans (in a non-transphobic way), all you have to do is go "lol no" and boom. not trans. just think "I'm transgender to YOU" and "am I transgender? no, it's the cis people who are trans, identifying as made-up genders and shit," and there you go. welcome to cis manhood, womanhood, and/or nonbinaryhood. as Ms. Frizzle would say, "take chances, make mistakes, get messy!" it is the "do what you want the rules are fake and baseless anyway" community after all

Idk what trans man needs to hear this but you're NOT evil or disgusting for being a man. You do NOT have to suffer for the sins of the patriarchy committed by cis dudes. Being a man doesn't invalidate the misogyny you experienced growing up or experience now. Being a man doesn't mean you deserve to be isolated. Being a man doesn't mean you're inherently predatory or scary. You didn't "choose" this, and finding your true self is NOT "betraying the community" because you happen to be a man and/or masculine rather than a woman and/or feminine. You ARE allowed to be upset when people "affirm" your gender by malgendering you.

You DO deserve a community that uplifts you. You DO deserve to experience trans joy. You DO deserve to have your voices heard and your struggles recognized. Wanting the bare minimum of solidarity is NOT "making everything about trans men".

It's scary to be transgender in the world right now but if you're transgender I love you and we have to stick together and keep fighting and keep living and keep loving

But first they must catch you 🏳️‍⚧️ Prints

I fear some of you are not ready to hear this, but when someone from a hypovisible underprivileged queer group says 'oh hey, this also happens to me!' on a post about a hypervisible underprivileged queer group, this is not 'derailing' from the hypervisible group

this is a call for solidarity from people who are frequently forgotten in these conversations

"Trans men and women are both suffering" and "trans women are often specifically targeted by bigotry and harassment even within their own communities and deserve to be able to talk about their own unique challenges without being talked over" and "trans men are often erased from conversations about how bigotry and transphobia targets them and are not exempt from all the horribly draconian laws transphobes are attempting to pass" and "being trans doesn't make you immune to participating in horrible transmisogyny even and especially if you aren't aware you're doing it" and "holy shit don't reinvent bioessentialism but for trans people like holy fuck men are not destined to be evil and women aren't automatically incapable of harm" are all opinions that can and fucking SHOULD coexist

the hate of polyamorous people feels so arbitrary to me. like i know bigotry is irrational but like. you understand the appeal of threesomes and foursomes but you can't respect when people love multiple people. even though you have multiple friends. there's gunk in your brain

pride includes trans men and transmascs btw

trans men and transmascs deserve to be proud of their manhood and masculinity

this is not up for debate

we got another good news roundup!

the fight is still on! don’t give up!

i do just want people to be aware that, while "assigned sex at birth" has been widely reclaimed and generalized to general populations, it did not start through personal identification or as a positive term. it was coined between doctors to discuss what sex to surgically and socially assign intersex infants, children, and in some cases, adults. one example of a study using this term is here, mostly inspired by john money [its a heavy read if you decide to open it]. i do just want people to be aware of the history of this term before claiming that it is "coined by the intersex community"—it wasnt, it was forced on us by the medical community.

Somehow there are people on this website who can say “I’m a transfeminist” and also “it’s okay to misgender trans people if they disagree with me” and not realize they’re not really being transfeminist.

I know people have come up with other words for transandrophobia, but i’m digging in my heels on that term. Yall won’t ever be happy with whatever other word we try to use, because the point is you want us to shut up and not talk about our oppression. I’m not going to waste my time hopping from term to term in an attempt to please yall and get you to take me seriously.

“transandrophobia is the belief that trans women oppress trans men—” NO IT’S THE BELIEF THAT CIS PEOPLE OPPRESS US. WE ARE OPPRESSED BY CISGENDERED PEOPLE. WE ARE TARGETED BY CIS MEN AND CIS WOMEN. LITERALLY WHAT ARE YOU NOT GETTING. WHAT’S NOT CLICKING. YOU ARE A TERF TRYING TO DIVIDE US AND YOU WILL NEVER WIN.

I love you transwomen. I love you transmen. I love you all trans people who may not be either or. Your right to exist as who you are should not be debated on the political field

it's kind of a you problem if you read "this is a problem that also affects me" and assume it to mean "i only care about this problem because it affects me. i would not care if it only affected you"

i've seen this a lot more often in reference to anti-trans legislature recently. people acting as though only trans women will be affected by it and then getting mad at trans men and nonbinary people for daring to mention we're also negatively impacted by it

can we just have a community please. i want a community. can we not fight over who has it worse all the time and just give eachother support

Some of the main points I see used against aromantic and asexual people are narratives that go like:

You can't know you're aromantic or asexual if you've never tried dating or having sex. (Translation: you should date someone you aren't attracted to and have sex with someone you aren't attracted to just to be sure you aren't attracted to them).

You can't be asexual or aromantic if you've dated and had sex. (Translation: the actions of dating someone and sleeping with someone can only ever be motivated by attraction, directly opposing what was demanded in the first point.)

If you date or have sex with someone despite not being attracted to them then you are manipulative and deceiving your partner. (Translation: dating/sleeping with someone without attraction as a motivation is inherently Bad and Evil)

And like, I've come across people who believe all three points at once without seeing the hypocrisy of it all.

Anyways, you don't need to try out all possibilities in order to figure out your orientation. Most people don't go around demanding that straight people sleep with and date the same gender before being allowed to call themselves straight, and yet they'll demand that of aspec people without hesitation. At the same time, there's nothing wrong with trying stuff out. While certain actions can be motivated by attraction, they don't always have to be. People have sex without being attracted to each other all the time, for all sorts of reasons. There's nothing inherently wrong with that, and it doesn't necessarily determine your sexuality either.

And I think the last opinion comes from a) people's tendency to tie attraction to a bunch of other feelings that just sum up to caring about someone, and then translate the absence of attraction into the absence of even liking a person and b) the tendency to see romantic attraction as the highest emotion one can have for someone and seeing any other feelings as inherently lesser, therefore making such a relationship "unbalanced". And with the way most people view aromanticism it's very easy for them to jump to the conclusion that the aro person is obviously being dishonest and just using their allo partner for their own evil little plans. It's all bullshit and I wish people would realize how easily these arguments fall apart when looking at them critically.

The crux of the anti trans movement is a war on bodily autonomy. They don't want you to have any agency over what you look like, how you dress, who you date, whether to have kids, etc.

They want total control over you. Not just trans people. Not just queer people. You. Everyone.

Trans people are just a scapegoat. They want total control over everyone's self expression. They want the right to mold you into their perfect little cog in their dehumanizing machine.

Happy Trans Day of Visibility. Our rights are your rights. Our destruction is your destruction.

you should show support for a victim more than you demosntrate hate towards an abuser. you should care more about the harm caused than the action. you should always prioritize helping someone in need over dissing a horrible person. good day

Dear fiction writers there is no such thing as an "intersex species", please stop telling me that your alien species is intersex rep.

That's not what intersex means. If your reasoning for a character being intersex is "they're a [insert species that has different sex characteristics from humans]", just stop.

If "all of them are intersex" then they aren't intersex. They just have different sex traits/reproductive organization from humans. If thats how they typically look, thats just what being perisex (non-intersex) looks like for that species. Intersex refers to an individual with sex characteristics atypical for their species.

This also goes for third sexes. That's not atypical if it's a commonly observed cluster of traits recognized as "a sex", that means that'd just be another form of being perisex (for that species). Intersex essentially means 'other' or 'neither', the point of the word is that we don't fit into the boxes provided for most of the population, not that we're a rare and magical third box.

Additionally shapeshifters (usually) also come off as bad rep for the same reason. If your character is intersex because they're a shapeshifter, they're not intersex. You don't become intersex, you're born that way. I don't like when characters have their bodies altered later in life and are called intersex for those modifications. And the idea that a character is becoming intersex by transforming their body just reinforces the idea that there is a certain type of way an intersex body looks, and that intersex is something you can 'become' via bodily alterations. We can look like anything. Sometimes our variations are only visible through chromosome or hormone testing. And often we have our bodies changed against our will to make our intersexuality less obvious. If you can become intersex via body alterations, does that mean medical abuse removes our intersexuality?

Yes, you can have a non-human character be intersex‐ if that individual has variant sex characteristics by the standards of their species.

Yes, you can write a species with bigenitalia (both parts)- just don't call them intersex or hermaphrodites (that is a slur). Some better terms are cosexed, monoecious, gonosimulites, dualsex

Yes, you can write shapeshifters as intersex- as long as you understand what intersex means and apply the actual definition of the word to the context of your story.

I will never stop saying the furry fandom is intersexist until they remove the slurs for us (herm & futa) from their art sites, and stop stereotyping us and actively spreading the idea ambiguous genitalia = both genitalia.

- A very tired intersex furry

the problem with being an intersex nonbinary person is that you have experienced both uniquely transmasc and transfem things, but because you are neither you can join neither conversation without being told “you’re afab you can’t have experienced this!” or “you’ve not medically transitioned so this can’t happen to you!”

intersex trans people exist. intersex nonbinary people exist. regardless of what our “agab” is, or whether we’ve taken hormones or not, we have experiences that need to be included in your conversations. by gatekeeping these conversations you’re leaving vital voices out of the narrative.

Yep! That's because it's not an actual argument or discussion. It's people trying to silence trans men and anyone who defends them.

From what I've seen, some of these people also believe that trans men are simultaneously "late transition, indistinguishable from cis men and immune to misogyny" and "Basically cis girls with D-Cups, hiding behind their femininity, and a week from detransitioning into a terf" There's so many contradictions in anti-transmasc viewpoints, it's a wonder that anyone falls for them. It's all disgustingly misogynistic and transphobic, and reeks of truscum and terf logic. I'll say what I always say, don't argue with them. Just block and move on. Most trans people ain't like that.

Daily reminder that :

-Validating a trans person's manhood only when you want to exclude them from certain communities is not being a trans ally.

-Validating a trans person's manhood only when you want to make them seen inherently predatory towards women is not being a trans ally.

-Validating a trans person's manhood only when you want to make comments such as ''eww...why would you want to be a man...?'' or ''k!ll all men,including trans men'' is not being a trans ally.

-Validating a trans person's manhood only when you want to talk about how they inherently have ''male privileges'' over women is not being a trans ally.

-Validating a trans person's manhood only when you want to exclude them from conversations about misogyny or reproductive rights is not being a trans ally.

the world is a better place with trans men and transmasc people in it

btw the default state of trans men is not dead.

the default state of trans men is alive.

if they are not alive there is a problem.

if their deaths are not being recorded that is a problem.

if you use the fact that their deaths aren't recorded to imply they aren't dying you are a piece of shit.

i cannot believe that in 2025

there are people on bluesky who proudly put on their profiles being "baeddel" like, that shit didn't work here in the 2010s tumblr (where it originated), so why the fuck are you trying to make it come back, lmao

actually i wouldn't be surprised if this-certain-group of trans ppl on bluesky are actually all baeddels but just not saying it out loud.

seeing them all still talking about "cissexual" privilege when refering to other TRANS ppl, the classic "you are trans but NOT REALLY trans like me", im just gonna say, be careful with this kind of thinking.

for context:

Medium

Let’s Talk About Bæddels

A comperehensive retrospective on Tumblr’s movement to make gender essentialism “trans-friendly”.

no, being "baeddel" is not good AT ALL. please, don't let anyone tell you otherwise bc, holy fuck, just read the whole thing and be wary. it's pretty much TERF rethoric, only trans version (also known as TIRF), lmao

i found out about this whole "baeddel" around the end of last year, and it was like "woah what the fuck??????" i had no idea this kind of shit happened. please, read it in full 😩😩

(edit: an updated version of this article is also here on tumblr!!)

nothorses.tumblr.com

Let's Talk About Baeddels.

An (updated) retrospective on Tumblr's movement to make gender essentialism trans-friendly. This post contains excepts from a longer article

What sucks is that both nonbinary people and trans men are infantilized all the goddamn time, so using "child" at all would be transphobic as hell.

Also, I don't buy the “tumblr kept showing me your slop” bit. This person has been leaving snarky little comments on different posts of mine throughout the week. Pretty sure this was a hate-reading my blog situation, and if that's the case there's no way someone wouldn't see my pronouns.

But I guess misgendering me suited those arguments better!

Name a better couple than transphobic trans people/misgendering anybody they don't like, I'll wait

My posts are all: "Hey, don't talk over trans men when they want to discuss their oppression!" "Nonbinary people aren't being treated very well right now, and we're being erased by the rest of the community." "Trans men and trans women aren't enemies." "Care about identities that aren't your own, include other trans people in your advocacy."

Which is apparently a grave enough offense to misgender me and compare me to a nazi, go figures.

It goes to show that some people are really transphobic before they transition, and they refuse to address this after their egg cracks.