I Know People Have Come Up With Other Words For Transandrophobia, But I’m Digging In My Heels On That

They say we can't reclaim "tranny" as if they haven't called our voices "tranny voice" for years, as if they haven't called us "tranny dykes" forever, as if cis people actually care who they hit with that word. I have been called "tranny," I have been called it in multiple languages, in many ways, people in my high school used it to attack me like any other trans person, queer people did. People used it to mock, to hurt, aggrivate, to try to bond.

But they push us out of feminist spaces because suddenly we don't understand anymore, they push us out of sapphic spaces because they deem our bodies gross, our self-expression wrong, and now they push us out of trans spaces because we don't suffer enough. I wonder how much more pain I am supposed to shoulder before it will be enough for it to be deemed worth talking about, for it to be deemed worth discussing, reclaiming.

Because we have the bi experience, the ace, and inter experience: every side turns us away. We're too queer and too damaged, and then we're not queer enough, haven't suffered enough.

All this when you won't even let us talk about our pain in our own voices. How will you ever know it if you never listen; if you make us afraid to talk?

im sick of how trans men are treated in queer spaces, you think i would be treated normally but no they started shitting on men, and the moment i spoke up i got "this isnt about you youre one of the good ones"

im sorry? you only said that because you know im trans, if i didnt disclose that you would of treated me like im evil or horrible just because you dont like men.

This is obviously a strawman, but it feels like the original poster is also making a really dangerous argument here.

No, having a bad experience does not mean you can be bigoted towards a marginalized community. It does not give you a free pass to use slurs, or claim an entire group of people is evil.

I was abused by a cis queer woman. That doesn't mean I can post "I hate all women especially cis queer women", because that would be fucked up, misogynistic, and queerphobic! It doesn't matter that I included "cis" in that statement, because it is still targeting a marginalized community.

Too many people on here think being trans or a victim of abuse gives them a free pass to be as bigoted as they want, as long as their target is a trans man or a "theyfab."

ill take 'things that never happened' for $500 please

genuinely have had numerous people tell me that as a trans man i'm "a men's rights activist invading trans spaces".

so many people legitimately do not see trans men as trans.

i need people to understand that so many people for some reason have the idea that trans = feminine or woman. it's a real issue.

how are trans men invading trans spaces? this is where we live. and of course we're gonna advocate for our own rights. why wouldn't we? we don't exist to self flagellate because the idea of transsexual and transgender manhood and masculinity frightens you. i'm a trans man. i'm trans. i'm not invading my own community.

I keep meeting transfem(me)s IRL who genuinely believe that transmasc erasure is a real problem and that we transmascs have it just as bad as they do. Today I spoke to a gal who actually thought transmascs have it worse. I responded to her that I believe everyone in the trans community shares a deep pain, beyond quantifying, that there's not really a hierarchy to our pain. There are so many amazing women out in the world who get it, who cherish and love us and feel our pain with us, just as we (transmascs) cherish and love them and feel their pain with them.

The haters and the division-mongers are the outlier. They're just louder in online spaces. Hate and division will always lose. Love and unity is the way forward.

I keep seeing people say shit like “I’m against transandrophobia because it’s just a way for trans men to excuse their transmisogyny!”

“Using transandrophobia just means you hate transfems!”

And I wish I could say to these people, as bluntly as possible

Transandrophobia isn’t about you.

Trans men talking about their oppression doesn’t hurt you.

A transmasc person discussing their concerns about forced pregnancy and detransition doesn't mean they think trans women have it better.

A trans man saying “hey, I don’t pass easily, and I still experience misogyny!” doesn't mean he thinks transmisogyny is fake and you pass easily.

A trans man bringing up how invisibility means hate crimes against trans men often go unreported doesn't mean he thinks hypervisibility is any better.

A non-American trans man telling you that no, his life is not actually easier than yours, doesn't mean he thinks you are lying about your experiences.

People saying “Hey, I think trans men are oppressed!” does not mean they think trans women are NOT oppressed.

That's a whole new sentence.

Yes, there are going to be bad faith actors and bigots in every community. Transmisogyny is something we all have to watch out for, because it is so normalized in our society. No one identity is exempt from this.

No one identity is uniquely transmisogynistic, either.

You can’t insist every person who believes in transandrophobia hates transfems and is out to get you, specifically.

It’s not about you.

You want proof? Talk to the trans men and mascs who actually use the tag, listen to them for once. Hear their stories about the oppression they have experienced, and, crucially, don’t derail it and make it about you.

You don’t have to like the term. Hell, even if you’re a trans man or transmasc, you don’t have to use it! But don’t police the people who do.

helpful venn diagram of people who are against the term transandrophobia for those of you who arent aware of whats going on right now

to transcend both male and female is to be, and I thought this was obvious, transgender. everyone I've seen pushing against nonbinary inclusion in the trans community has used transphobic narratives to make their point. of course, no one should force all nonbinary people to identify with the word trans specifically (or binary people for that matter), but we all need to understand that that's what being nonbinary fundamentally is.

when laws are passed against nonbinary people, it's because they're trans. when they're disrespected for being nonbinary, it's for being transgender. when there's no space for them in society besides cringe compilations and jokes, that's happening to them because they are trans people. when people refuse to believe that their gender is nonbinary, it's because they are a part of the transgender community. the people doing these things to them are transphobic and they see nonbinary people as super [t slur]s. they are threatened by even the mere suggestion that there's more than 2 options because all forms of transness threaten cissexism and heteronormativity, even the entire concept of gender. you could say that they are phobic, even. ya know, of the transition. from binary to nonbinary.

if another trans person tells you that you don't count, that what you go through is disqualified just because you're nonbinary, it's because they're suffering from a severe case of internalized transphobia (as well as ignorance of trans history, ideology, gender theory, and purpose). they need too much help themselves to stand by you, do not engage with them. you are not taking from the community by increasing the demand for rights, support, and resources, that's not how supply and demand works. there is no limit to how many types of people can receive kindness because respect for other people is a renewable resource. in fact, if more people ask for more rights and respect and put effort into facilitating that acceptance for others, it's way more likely to increase the level of joy in the world. it's like a collective pursuit of happiness, and everyone will be better off working together.

also, if you're wondering how a person, even a binary one, who would usually be considered trans could not identify as trans (in a non-transphobic way), all you have to do is go "lol no" and boom. not trans. just think "I'm transgender to YOU" and "am I transgender? no, it's the cis people who are trans, identifying as made-up genders and shit," and there you go. welcome to cis manhood, womanhood, and/or nonbinaryhood. as Ms. Frizzle would say, "take chances, make mistakes, get messy!" it is the "do what you want the rules are fake and baseless anyway" community after all

I love my trans bf so seeing a blog populated by the most based takes ever that involve trans men makes me happy :3

Keep spitting facts my dear warrior

Aw, thanks! I love my trans wife and my trans friends. I want this community to feel welcoming for all of them.

Hey we all know pronouns aren't a privilege, right?

It doesn't matter how "annoying" a trans person is, it doesn't matter if they disagree with you on some intracommunity issue-

Use the pronouns they have in their bio, or the pronouns they ask you to use. Even if you really don't like them, or you think they're problematic.

Your comfort with somebody's pronouns isn't a factor. Using ANY other pronoun for a user that prefers it/its is misgendering. Same with neopronouns. If you can't manage it, don't talk to it.

Oh and just to be clear-

Claiming that a trans woman's account is actually "run by a man" is misgendering. Saying a trans man's blog is part of some "secret terf circle" is misgendering. Pretending a person is actually your oppressor in disguise so you can misgender them is, get this, misgendering!

I don't care how much you dislike someone, use the right fucking pronouns.