Idk What Trans Man Needs To Hear This But You're NOT Evil Or Disgusting For Being A Man. You Do NOT Have

Advocacy takes a ton of bravery and energy, and it can be extremely draining to fight for your community. But if you do, I encourage you to just block anybody who gives you shit for it. You don't owe anyone a debate, and it's pointless to engage with people who will only see the worst in you. Those who don't care about other trans people aren't worth the dirt on your boots, and this goes double for the ones that dismiss sexual assault just because it happens to trans men. Speak up about the issues you care about, and block their transphobic asses if they give you trouble.

I notice that I‘m scared to even speak about this issue sometimes. I feel like a coward. Idk what to do about it, because I can’t just keep quiet when I hear people just straight up deny transmasc oppression. But I already know their reaction. They will not take me seriously. They will twist my words. They will double down and ignore the evidence. Even when I show them literal statistics of SA in transmascs, somehow that doesn’t matter.

Don’t a let a little thing like being a boy keep you from being a girl

I am going to commit acts of wrath if i see one more person say "trans men/transmasculinity is not under attack"

THEY EXPLICITLY SAY THAT THEY NOW DEFINE TRANS MEN AS "biological women" IN THAT SHITTY UK COURT RULING

THEY ARE INCLUDING US BY FUCKING NAME IN THEIR HATRED

"why are trans men not targeted?" THEY ARE

THEY FUCKING ARE TARGETED

YOU THINK THAT BEING DEFINED AS A "biological woman" IS NOT HARMFUL FOR TRANS MEN

THATS WHY YOU THINK ITS NOT AN ISSUE

BC YOU THINK THAT TRANS MEN GETTING DEFINED OUT OF EXISTANCE BY CALLING THEM "biological women" IS NOT A PROBLEM

the problem with being an intersex nonbinary person is that you have experienced both uniquely transmasc and transfem things, but because you are neither you can join neither conversation without being told “you’re afab you can’t have experienced this!” or “you’ve not medically transitioned so this can’t happen to you!”

intersex trans people exist. intersex nonbinary people exist. regardless of what our “agab” is, or whether we’ve taken hormones or not, we have experiences that need to be included in your conversations. by gatekeeping these conversations you’re leaving vital voices out of the narrative.

god's greatest gifts to the world were transgenderism, big beverage, jerking off, and creating art

the thing that pisses me off the most about this whole "haha trans men in womens bathrooms will make them reconsider" spin going around is that it basically pretends trans men and mascs of color dont exist and arent in very real danger

like, think about for even one second how, historically, white women have weaponized the perception of moc as inherently masculinely savage to get them killed for being threats to fragile helpless white girls

do you think the lady who calls 911 on black men birdwatching in the park is going to see a trans man of color in the womans bathroom and go "gosh! i never thought about it that way. you've really exposed the flaw in my arguement"? no. shes going to call security and that man will be brutalized or killed

(and dont even for a second think that woc will be safe either. i was getting side eyes and pointed questions long before i ever came out because my skin was brown and i had short hair. tmoc and our sisters arent fucking safe and we deserve better than being used as some white posters pithy "gotchya")

I want to make some points clear to debunk the whole “trans men are just future detransitioned women” idea that’s been floating around:

The detransition rates of people who identify as trans men/masc and trans women/fem(me) are going to be pretty much the same, but TERF propaganda makes examples out of people who have detransitioned from male to female in order to support the claim that the trans community are “infecting” young girls. Their obsession with women “mutilating” their bodies causes them to pounce on anyone who detransitions from male/masc to female and use them as symbols of the “trans cult.” TERFs deliberately inflate the number of detransitioners, especially amongst trans men/mascs, in order to support their ideology. Do not fall for it.

The actual rate of detransitioning as a whole is already incredibly small, and an even smaller minority of that, go on to detransition “back” to a cis identity. In reality, the majority of detransitioners tend to detransition into a different gender identity that feels more comfortable to them, rather than their birth identity, and may still identify as trans— just not in the way they initially thought. Other reasons for detransitioning may include safety reasons or a lack of access to gender affirming care. By assuming that all detransitioners are people who have “returned” to identifying as cis, you are once again falling for TERF propaganda. TERFs do not care about detransitioners who still identify as trans or non-binary or some other form of gender divergent, nor do they care about people who detransition simply because they are not able to transition in the first place. You should care. Not all detransitioners identify as cis, and the community would do well to remember that.

TERFs are a cult, and cults groom their members. A lot of people struggling with their gender identity may fall into TERF spaces because they will initially be treated with sympathy and understanding, when in reality, their ultimate goal is to detransition someone. They will groom vulnerable people with rhetorics such as “the trans community will try to persuade you to transition and make you think that you need to escape your womanhood” or “we can help you to accept yourself for who you really are as a woman, because society has made you hate yourself for your gender non-conformity and tomboyish nature” and other such bullshit that only serves to break someone down into believing that their identity issues come from a trans-obsessed, woman-hating society. When you see prominent detransitioners who pedal TERF propaganda, it is very likely that they have been forced into pushing down their real issues in favour of finding acceptance in a group that claims to care about them. If we can find sympathy for people who have been forced into conversion therapy, or forced to hide their sexualities/gender identities because of the religious fanaticism around them, then you need to find sympathy for people who have been groomed by a cult into hating themselves. No, that does not mean excusing them for hurting the trans community by becoming handmaidens for TERFs, but understanding that they have also been hurt— and are being hurt— by TERFs may help us to acknowledge that a lot of these people needed support systems that they weren’t able to find quickly enough.

A lot of the most well-known detransitioners may still struggle with their gender identity, and are simply repressing it because they’ve been groomed too far into a cult that lied to them, and leaving that cult without a support system behind them is a terrifying thought. However, it needs to be acknowledged that all of this discourse amongst the trans community, particularly a growing hatred for trans men/mascs or non-binary people, is exactly why TERFs are able to groom them in the first place. In fact, the idea that “trans women and trans men are diametrically opposed to each other” is just TERF propaganda to encourage trans men to feel like they’re not accepted in the trans community and therefore need to find solace in TERF spaces, who will use their shared experiences of “girlhood” to prey on the fact that trans men have been made to hate themselves. Seeing other trans people spread around this idea is exactly what TERFs want. They want trans men/mascs and non-binary people who were born as women to turn away from the trans community so they can literally detransition them back into women. Don’t do their fucking job for them.

A lot of detransitioners are— surprise surprise— not assholes. The only ones we’re seeing are the ones that prominent TERFs are uplifting, when the ones who slide under the radar and are free to explore their gender identity how they want tend to not feel the need to throw the trans community under the bus. I’ve talked to many detransitioners before who weren’t groomed by the TERF cult and a lot of them speak very highly of the trans community because they were able to find space to learn about themselves, and regardless of what they eventually identified as, there was a mutual understanding that freedom to gender affirming care is beneficial for everybody. By using TERF detransitioners as examples of all detransitioners, you’re just excluding some of the most vocal supporters of gender affirming care that I’ve ever come across. Support them back!! The best way to fight against TERFs weaponising detransitioners is by supporting detransitioners, recognising their struggles, and uplifting the voices of those who do not spread TERF propaganda.

There is nuance to be had here, because insinuating that the current trans community is actively judgmental of detransitioners is, in itself, TERF propaganda, but it’s crucial that you don’t fall for it or let TERFs convince you that detransitioners are the enemy. Because I have heard stories from detransitioners who’ve experienced genuine hostility from queer spaces they’ve been in, so it’s always important to check your biases and make sure you’re not falling into any traps.

TL;DR: trans men are not future detransitioned women. The tiny, miniscule percentage of TERF detransitioners who identify as cisgender that you see are being propped up by other TERFs in order to spread propaganda, despite the fact that TERFs do not actually care about them or their struggles, and they have most likely been groomed into detransitioning in the first place (or at least, they have been groomed into an unhealthy and harmful mindset that will inevitably hurt them in the long run). Anyone who says that trans men are destined to detransition, or that detransitioners are the enemy, or that all detransitioners have cis privilege and should be shunned from the community are all falling into TERF ideology and should not be listened to.

I think a lot of hate towards transmascs for speaking about their experiences come from a place of misinformation and unwillingness to listen

I see so much of “Transandrophobia is about reinforcing the patriarchy” and “Transandrophobia is the belief that trans women oppress trans men!” when all of that is just simply not true

It doesn’t take much to actually look at posts in the Transandrophobia tag to see that, no, we do not thinks trans women oppress us and, no, we are not supporting the patriarchy , or whatever lie people have come to believe, and yeah some people in the tag are shitty to transfems, but that’s not everyone and that it not what we are trying to talk about. There are shitty people in every community unfortunately

If maybe people stopped taking other people speaking as a threat to them and actually took a moment to listen, instead of just jumping to conclusions, it would be a lot easier to see that the whole concept of Transandrophobia/trans misandry/ whatever you want to call it is actually just transmascs talking about their experiences.

Diversity win! Transfeminists™ now claiming trans woman is several men pretending to be a woman!

When any word like this gains traction, there will always be a small number of people who use it to hurt others.

The important thing is to keep using it anyway, and to use it correctly! Because if you don't, a marginalized group of people loses a term that helps them discuss their oppression, and a few jackasses gain a new word they can use to bully people and smear the rest of the community.

Keep using transandrophobia, deplatform the ones using it to be a bigot, and ignore people like this. It's not a dogwhistle. Don't let them make it into one!

I wish you wouldn't use the term transandrophobia. I understand transmascs do deserve language to speak on their oppression, but the way the term transandrophobia in specific has been used has twisted it into a transmisogynistic dog whistle sadly. Transandromisia and androqueerphobia are much nicer terms that have the same meaning without the transmisogynistic connotations associated with the words, and I've seen you use those terms before, so it's disheartening to see you suddenly begin using transandrophobia instead.

People say the same thing about androqueerphobia and transandromisia. Not to mention androqueerphobia is a much broader term for prejudice against queer masculinity generally.

There's nothing transmisogynistic about the word transandrophobia. Yeah, some bigots are going to use it because it gained traction as a useful term in discussion. This is true of literally every useful word ever. I have seen people say the most vile intersexist shit in the name of 'fighting transmisogyny' and I don't sit here and call transfeminism 'transmisogyny theory' and insist it's inherently intersexist. Because I understand that individual assholes misuse useful terms all the damn time.

People who say the word transandrophobia is transmisogynistic aren't actually talking about the word, they're upset about transmascs talking about their lives. That's bigoted and is a perfect example of why the word transandrophobia should exist. If you even look at the people who argue against it, they're always saying that there is no unique experience with oppression caused by being a trans man- that trans men only experience 'just transphobia' and there is no oppression inherent to transmasculinity. That's dismissive and frankly rude as fuck. There's no word that will satisfy the people who think trans men/mascs are simply incapable of speaking for themselves/believe they are bigoted for doing so.

I think we should allow transmascs to have their own terms, for fuck's sake. If you're not transmasculine, you don't get a say in this at all. You can support a group of marginalized people and what they say or you can be a bigot against them, it's very simple.