I think a lot of hate towards transmascs for speaking about their experiences come from a place of misinformation and unwillingness to listen
I see so much of “Transandrophobia is about reinforcing the patriarchy” and “Transandrophobia is the belief that trans women oppress trans men!” when all of that is just simply not true
It doesn’t take much to actually look at posts in the Transandrophobia tag to see that, no, we do not thinks trans women oppress us and, no, we are not supporting the patriarchy , or whatever lie people have come to believe, and yeah some people in the tag are shitty to transfems, but that’s not everyone and that it not what we are trying to talk about. There are shitty people in every community unfortunately
If maybe people stopped taking other people speaking as a threat to them and actually took a moment to listen, instead of just jumping to conclusions, it would be a lot easier to see that the whole concept of Transandrophobia/trans misandry/ whatever you want to call it is actually just transmascs talking about their experiences.
if you legitimately believe that any trans identity has privilege over another there is genuinely something wrong with you and you need to go outside
Y’all, just stop using Shinigami Eyes. TERFs are green, intersex people are red, trans people are red, it’s just not working anymore. I literally had someone bust into my inbox telling me someone was a terf based solely on the fact that her name was red when it turns out she was a staunch anti-radfem and trans herself.
Trans friends
This week I
1. Cried
2. Snapped at the wrong people
3. Doom scrolled
4. Stress ate
5. Been angry/scared/depressed/sad/confused
This week I have also
1. Hung out with my best friend
2. Made snacks with some adults and other teens in my community while we talked through our shared fears
3. Danced it out
4. Played with my baby siblings
5. Been hopeful/happy/joyful/embraced community
The next four years are going to be hard. There will be stress, and there will be fear, and there will be uncertainty. There will also be resilience, and community, and love. There will be a hundred thousand tomorrows to come where trans people will continue to exist in the face of everything the world throws at us.
You are not alone. None of us are alone. Reach out to your community, there is always someone who is willing to listen. Find your joy. Make your joy. Just be here, we’re all better off for it.
“Trans men want to infiltrate women’s spaces”
Actually, no I really don’t. It’s actually super fucking unpleasant for me to have to enter spaces that are explicitly designated as being for “women”. Unfortunately, because even a lot of progressives refuse to recognize my existence, I as a person with a vagina, uterus and ovaries have no choice but to enter these spaces because they’re the only ones offering what I need. But let me assure you of this: I don’t enjoy being in “women’s spaces”. It’s honestly quite alienating and dysphoria inducing, and if I didn’t absolutely have to do it, I wouldn’t.
That's not what intersex means. If your reasoning for a character being intersex is "they're a [insert species that has different sex characteristics from humans]", just stop.
If "all of them are intersex" then they aren't intersex. They just have different sex traits/reproductive organization from humans. If thats how they typically look, thats just what being perisex (non-intersex) looks like for that species. Intersex refers to an individual with sex characteristics atypical for their species.
This also goes for third sexes. That's not atypical if it's a commonly observed cluster of traits recognized as "a sex", that means that'd just be another form of being perisex (for that species). Intersex essentially means 'other' or 'neither', the point of the word is that we don't fit into the boxes provided for most of the population, not that we're a rare and magical third box.
Additionally shapeshifters (usually) also come off as bad rep for the same reason. If your character is intersex because they're a shapeshifter, they're not intersex. You don't become intersex, you're born that way. I don't like when characters have their bodies altered later in life and are called intersex for those modifications. And the idea that a character is becoming intersex by transforming their body just reinforces the idea that there is a certain type of way an intersex body looks, and that intersex is something you can 'become' via bodily alterations. We can look like anything. Sometimes our variations are only visible through chromosome or hormone testing. And often we have our bodies changed against our will to make our intersexuality less obvious. If you can become intersex via body alterations, does that mean medical abuse removes our intersexuality?
Yes, you can have a non-human character be intersex‐ if that individual has variant sex characteristics by the standards of their species.
Yes, you can write a species with bigenitalia (both parts)- just don't call them intersex or hermaphrodites (that is a slur). Some better terms are cosexed, monoecious, gonosimulites, dualsex
Yes, you can write shapeshifters as intersex- as long as you understand what intersex means and apply the actual definition of the word to the context of your story.
"Trans men aren't targeted by anti trans rhetoric and law."
Trumps executive order to ban gender affirming care mainly fearmongers about trans boys not being able to give birth or breast feed and calls transitional surgery "female genital mutilation".
When we say we are invisible, it's not that we are invisible to the people who hate us. It's that our struggles are invisible to the people who should be advocating for us.
The thing with like aphobia and transandrophobia and stuff is like
sometimes. you are going to see people complaining about oppression. and it's going to make you feel bad and uncomfortable. because you yourself are oppressed and in these circles you are used to being The Oppressed One and seeing these other complains about People Including You reminds you of actual bigotry in broader spaces, or makes you doubt your own oppression, or just makes it feel like you're being told you 'have it easy'.
but. that's not what's happening. what's happening is just that other people also have systematic problems and deserve to talk about it.
that is not an attack on you.
oppression is not a zero-sum game. Aspecs, or trans men, being better acknowledge as suffering from oppression, does not mean that you have it any less bad than you have known yourself to do.
it doesn't even mean that they have it 'worse'. It means exactly what I said: that they also have issues that they need help with and are worth discussing.
If that upsets the basis of your own understand of your oppression... yeah. maybe that means your understanding was wrong. sorry.
but it's only the THEORETICAL UNDERSTANDING that has been upset. your oppression is still not in any kind of question.
is that easy to understand or carry forth? no.
but it's necessary.
and it has happened, over and over again. When gay people and trans people were at head to head, both presenting the other as predatory sexual deviants and themselves as 'normal'. When gay men diminished lesbians' suffering because they were less likely to get on the news for being murdered than gay men. when bisexuals (within Tumblr's own history!!!!!!) were widely panned as possessing 'straight-passing privilege' and therefore never in the same 'category' of oppression as gay men and lesbians.
it happens over and over and over again. and it's always hard. but it always needs to happen, morally.
even if the people expressing their oppression are 'too aggressive'. even if their arguments make you feel uncomfortable and scared. even if the place you belonged no longer feels like home anymore.
it'd be nice if every time something happened that made you feel bad, it was because of somebody Bad who needs to be Stopped and/or Punished. but that just isn't the case.
an oppressed group (and we can judge this by statistics; it's really not that difficult) talking about their oppression is not causing actual harm to you. and even if they were, they still deserve to be able to do it.
I’m sorry , but where the hell did people hear that ‘theyfab’ originated as a term to ‘call out transmisogynistic afab nonbinary people’ 😭.
It’s from 4chan . It’s from /tttt .
'Theyfab' was made to mock afab nonbinary ppl that they labeled as 'trenders' because they think being nonbinary was made up by 'white girls who want to be quirky'.
The term 'Theymad' is used to - to a much lesser extent then theyfab - and it's used to mock amab nonbinary people for either being 'closeted trans women' or for being 'femboys in denial'.
Nix, They/Them, Queer, 20s Sporadically active.Do not gender me.
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