Nixisverytired - Trans Unity > Trans Discourse

how about maybe we dont call transmascs who dont work super hard to maintain their appearance ugly thats it thanks

I am not a big Tumblr poster. Ok? I'm an observer in all aspects. A lurker, if you will. I don't reblog stuff. I barely even like things. I only follow people sometimes.

But recently I've been scrolling through the 'transandrophobia' tag a lot more than I used to. recently I've seen posts that send me into a train of thought that's like. "People really think like this?" And it's more tiring than I realize sometimes. So I'm putting my thoughts into this post.

I've recently watched masculine trans people and queer people of all kinds getting the short end of the stick. I watch people put others down based on their masculinity, and I think- if this is such a big issue when done to femininity, why in the world would you think it's acceptable to flip it around? Feminism has never been about saying that women are better. It's never been about hating men. It's been about uplifting women so that they'll be seen as equals, and breaking both men and women out of patriarchal mindsets. It's about uniting over the fact that no group of people is better than another.

Trans men and enbies and mascs do not have whatever perceived systemic privilege you think they do. Trans people in general will only ever have conditional privilege in specific situations, if that. Society only praises performative masculinity- the kind that fits into their neat little boxes of 'should' and 'shouldn't'. Masculine queer people have never fit into those stupid little boxes. Trans men. Mascs. Butches.

I'm tired of this. Tired of the 'femininity good masculinity bad' talk. You're not children. Grow up and learn some nuance. Trans men are whiny and annoying to you because they've never had the privilege of being anything other than invisible. Constantly erased and brushed off so when they start getting angry you see it as an attack because you haven't cared to see them before. You haven't cared to see them when they were scared. You haven't cared to see them when they were just begging to be seen. You haven't cared to see them as anything other than traitors or thieves or anything because until it's not about you anymore, you don't give a fuck. You only look at them when you're personally slighted by whatever they have to say.

What does it cost to have empathy for other's lived experiences? Nothing. When a group of people is telling you what they've consistently and repeatedly been through, you listen to them. You don't shut them down because of an immutable trait. You don't shut them down because you've never seen it happen. You don't shut them down because they're not your idea of someone who's oppressed. That's not how this works. People are angry for a REASON. Masculine queer people have every right to be angry. we've been pushed aside and had statistics ignored and been told that other people's oppression is more important than ours simply for what? the sin of masculinity?

Now, above all, trans people should be united. Instead of fussing over whatever sort of strawmen and caricatures you have in your head, we should just be listening to each other. we should be able to listen to other's lives and traumas and pains without throwing a fit over words or theories. Having words to describe oppression is important. Being able to label your pain is important. But none of that matters more than what's happening to people in their real lives. the people who are dying. The people who are being raped and silenced and shunned out of public spaces and even their own homes. No words will ever matter more than the people who are actively hurting due to your refusal to even look in their direction.

if you want to talk about this, be my guest. Ask me questions. Tell me I'm wrong. Whatever. I just have a need for this to be known above all else. I don't care what people on the internet think of what I have to say. This site is a fuckin cesspool. so's every other corner of the internet.

Thanks for reading.

it actively holds everyone back when you equate femininity and femmeness to weakness. whenever you imply that feminine people and femmes are inherently weak, in need of protection, inherently submissive, incapable of hurting others, and pathetic, you are holding everyone back: women, men, people of all kinds, trans, cis, intersex, non binary and beyond.

femmes do not inherently need to be protected. feminine people do not inherently need to be looked after. femmes are not incapable of defending themselves, of being strong, of being capable of protecting others, of being independent, of being masculine as well, or being assertive or dominant. femmes and feminine people are capable of being just as diverse as any other group of people and when you insinuate that femininity is inherently tied to weakness you fail everyone.

mascs and butches aren't inherently strong, and they don't have to be. femmes and feminine people aren't inherently weak and they don't have to be. perpetuating these cisheterosexual norms in the queer community does no one any favors.

the hate of polyamorous people feels so arbitrary to me. like i know bigotry is irrational but like. you understand the appeal of threesomes and foursomes but you can't respect when people love multiple people. even though you have multiple friends. there's gunk in your brain

"trans guys are uniquely capable of perpetrating misogyny" everyone is uniquely capable of perpetrating misogyny dipshit it came free with your fucking living in a patriarchal society

honestly I hate how the "amazon basics skirt and thigh socks" thing went from an in joke that gently teased baby trans girls and encouraged them to get bolder and develop their own sense of style to a much more universal and mean spirited put down coming from people who don't understand how that phase of trying the easiest feminine clothes you can get your hands on in the safest place possible is nevertheless important for so many trans girls

non-transmasc. before you is a transmasc person talking about their experiences with being transmasculine and the oppression that they experience for being transmasculine. the bomb detonates if you tell them to just call it transphobia, if you imply their oppression/experience is incorrect, if you tell them that they signed up for it for being transmasculine. begin.

Misogyny.

btw there's so much discourse on my feed rn and I think I need some people to just step off of tumblr and meet people outside their circles. Does wonders for you btw x