We've All Gotten Just A Bit Too Comfortable Being Jerks To Strangers On The Internet I Think

I am only going to respond to this once, because I’ve found it isn’t productive to argue with people online about what terms certain queer people are allowed to coin and use.

You clearly have some internalized transphobia you need to work out. You have an incredibly patronizing and dismissive attitude towards trans men and transmascs. You reblog from people who are actively hateful and bigoted, not just towards trans men, but nonbinary and intersex people as well. You reblog posts talking about how much you want to fuck trans men while dismissing their concerns, which comes of as fetishistic.

Being trans yourself does not give you a free pass to act this way.

It doesn’t matter if you think the term “transandrophobia” is valid or not, or if you claim it comes from problematic roots.

You are not a trans man. You are not part of their community. You do not get to say what words they get to use, and they do not need your permission to discuss their oppression. You do not get to say what they do or do not experience, because you do not KNOW their experiences, and you clearly aren’t willing to listen to the ones that disagree with you.

Look at the replies and reblogs here, how many people are saying your attitude towards trans men is insulting and demeaning. Regardless of your opinion on the word transandrophobia, you are behaving inappropriately. This much is clear.

Additionally, you are dismissing not just the struggles of trans men, but intersex and nonbinary people as well. The supreme court is actively hurting these groups, and your refusal to acknowledge this shows that either you are ignorant of the struggles of other LGBT+ identities, or you just don't care.

You are not immune to holding transphobic and bigoted ideals. Everybody in this society has them regardless of identity, and it’s your job to acknowledge your biases and unlearn them. Learn to support the rest of the LBGT+ community outside of the groups you belong to, or at least work on your own internalized transphobia before you try to join these discussions.

Fighting for your rights is not like sharing a pie. I promise you can care about transmisogyny and the issues trans women are facing without dismissing the concerns of your transgender brothers and siblings.

Trans men I love you. Trans-androphobia is not real. Putting ‘trans-‘ on a phenomenon that doesn’t exist does not describe a new thing. What you’re facing is overlapping transphobia and misogyny. I’m sorry people online got mad at you for saying it’s that, but it’s that.

. You are men, regardless of if you dress fem. Bigots and sexists don’t see you as the man you are, or even as trans. It’s not in a “transgender” way they hate you; they see us as bad men or women, to correct however violently the group finds. Which is misogyny. It’s obvious to me, a trans woman who doesn’t easily pass, that misogynists see trans people simply as bad male/females.

Cis women who don’t do femininity (at least the patriarchy’s standards) are treated the same BY THESE PEOPLE as trans men; as something to correct into an incubator. Lesbians, hairy and fat women, racialized women, strong and confident women receive these same things. Women whose muscles are visible are told that their strength makes them ugly. Which is misogyny. And the disgusting things people say about T’s effects on you is rooted in that.

Trans men I love you. I’m sorry that everyone parrots that men are also affected by patriarchy, yet you feel unease at using the word misogyny. Misandry and androphobia are words for League of Legends players though.

Trans men I love you. You do not want your issues to be a Supreme Court decision removing specifically your personhood, nor do I. What you face is misogyny. Let’s call it that, and face it together 💖

With my issues having been ignored for 21 years, I’d rather it than at very best, everyone around me debating how much I should exist in public.

By the way if you can't talk about your oppression in a way that isn't bigoted to other minorities you might need to think about that for a minute.

genuinely have had numerous people tell me that as a trans man i'm "a men's rights activist invading trans spaces".

so many people legitimately do not see trans men as trans.

i need people to understand that so many people for some reason have the idea that trans = feminine or woman. it's a real issue.

how are trans men invading trans spaces? this is where we live. and of course we're gonna advocate for our own rights. why wouldn't we? we don't exist to self flagellate because the idea of transsexual and transgender manhood and masculinity frightens you. i'm a trans man. i'm trans. i'm not invading my own community.

Being part of a marginalized group does not give you a free pass to say bigoted things about another marginalized group.

Bigots in the tag, with their full chest: "Trans men only use the word transandrophobia to complain about trans women!"

Actual posts in the tag:

"My ex assaulted me when I came out as trans, because he thought getting me pregnant would make me stop taking T."

"My mom told me that transitioning would make me aggressive and sexist, because testosterone is an evil hormone."

"I wish people here were nicer to trans men. It feels like the farther along I get in my transition, the more I am excluded by the LGBT+ community."

Like, go ahead and say you've never actually listened to a trans man when he's talking about his oppression. Transandrophobia is NOT about trans women, it's about the struggles trans men and transmascs face.

Them having a word doesn't hurt you, stop being a massive pissbaby.

Are you actually ‘unsafe’ because of the mere existence of trans men or are you just still wrapped up in gender essentialism and don’t want to do the work of breaking down and reevaluating your bigotries and biases?

Every day I see countless transmascs ashamed of their masculinity, feeling like they "sided with the enemy", so much so that when I was in car with my friend and he started telling me about how his absentee father shaped the view of his own masculinity that I interrupted him to say that he doesn't have to be ashamed

To which he stopped me going on a rant to tell me that no, in fact, he feels like he is already such a better man than him, because he knows he would never do such a thing

And that really really stuck with me

Trans men, transmascs, and honestly, anyone else who participates in queer masculinity, make the world a better place

As a very femme trans woman, seeing queer people happy in their masculinity, finding joy in it, relief, makes my heart full

It is beautiful what you all do by simply existing

And please, keep going ❤️

Maybe the community could start saying “how could I be an ally to trans men” instead of “how can I tell you you’re wrong about your own experiences “

Advocacy takes a ton of bravery and energy, and it can be extremely draining to fight for your community. But if you do, I encourage you to just block anybody who gives you shit for it. You don't owe anyone a debate, and it's pointless to engage with people who will only see the worst in you. Those who don't care about other trans people aren't worth the dirt on your boots, and this goes double for the ones that dismiss sexual assault just because it happens to trans men. Speak up about the issues you care about, and block their transphobic asses if they give you trouble.

I notice that I‘m scared to even speak about this issue sometimes. I feel like a coward. Idk what to do about it, because I can’t just keep quiet when I hear people just straight up deny transmasc oppression. But I already know their reaction. They will not take me seriously. They will twist my words. They will double down and ignore the evidence. Even when I show them literal statistics of SA in transmascs, somehow that doesn’t matter.