The Cycle Of “invisible” Oppression In The LBGT+ Community:

"queer people need to get weirder"

but can you handle a nonbinary transmasc/trans man who is femme and passes as his agab, yet DON'T want to be grouped with women and/or femmes, AT ALL???

CAN YOU???

Friendly reminder that you don’t owe anyone here a debate.

Person thinks trans men can’t reclaim “tranny”?

Wow, that’s stupid. Block ‘em.

Some asshole believes that trans men are uniquely misogynistic or privileged or whatever fun discourse buzzword they’re using today?

Their prejudice is not your problem. Block ‘em.

Random blogger says trans men don’t experience (insert common form of transphobia here)?

Don’t try to prove them wrong by sharing details of your trauma. Just block ‘em.

The worst offenders aren’t going to change. They’re not going to listen to you, or engage in a good-faith debate. Speaking from experience, showing them any vulnerability will just result in it being used against you.

It’s sad, but these people are stuck in a discourse tar-pit that makes them see their trans siblings as enemies. They have to pull themselves out; they won’t hear a word you say, not when they’ve already made up their minds about you.

Don’t give them a platform. Don’t waste your time and energy on bad-faith arguments. Spend it with people who don’t make misunderstanding you their favorite hobby.

And remember:

Make sure you've blocked fite-club/rittz. Like half of the inane discourse yapping goes away when you do, it's great.

Maybe the community could start saying “how could I be an ally to trans men” instead of “how can I tell you you’re wrong about your own experiences “

genuinely have had numerous people tell me that as a trans man i'm "a men's rights activist invading trans spaces".

so many people legitimately do not see trans men as trans.

i need people to understand that so many people for some reason have the idea that trans = feminine or woman. it's a real issue.

how are trans men invading trans spaces? this is where we live. and of course we're gonna advocate for our own rights. why wouldn't we? we don't exist to self flagellate because the idea of transsexual and transgender manhood and masculinity frightens you. i'm a trans man. i'm trans. i'm not invading my own community.

Dear fiction writers there is no such thing as an "intersex species", please stop telling me that your alien species is intersex rep.

That's not what intersex means. If your reasoning for a character being intersex is "they're a [insert species that has different sex characteristics from humans]", just stop.

If "all of them are intersex" then they aren't intersex. They just have different sex traits/reproductive organization from humans. If thats how they typically look, thats just what being perisex (non-intersex) looks like for that species. Intersex refers to an individual with sex characteristics atypical for their species.

This also goes for third sexes. That's not atypical if it's a commonly observed cluster of traits recognized as "a sex", that means that'd just be another form of being perisex (for that species). Intersex essentially means 'other' or 'neither', the point of the word is that we don't fit into the boxes provided for most of the population, not that we're a rare and magical third box.

Additionally shapeshifters (usually) also come off as bad rep for the same reason. If your character is intersex because they're a shapeshifter, they're not intersex. You don't become intersex, you're born that way. I don't like when characters have their bodies altered later in life and are called intersex for those modifications. And the idea that a character is becoming intersex by transforming their body just reinforces the idea that there is a certain type of way an intersex body looks, and that intersex is something you can 'become' via bodily alterations. We can look like anything. Sometimes our variations are only visible through chromosome or hormone testing. And often we have our bodies changed against our will to make our intersexuality less obvious. If you can become intersex via body alterations, does that mean medical abuse removes our intersexuality?

Yes, you can have a non-human character be intersex‐ if that individual has variant sex characteristics by the standards of their species.

Yes, you can write a species with bigenitalia (both parts)- just don't call them intersex or hermaphrodites (that is a slur). Some better terms are cosexed, monoecious, gonosimulites, dualsex

Yes, you can write shapeshifters as intersex- as long as you understand what intersex means and apply the actual definition of the word to the context of your story.

trans guys: hey! this awful violating thing can and has happened to us and we need to be more aware of it as things get worse for trans ppl everywhere

the stupidest people alive: but have you considered it makes me personally feel bad when you talk about it? and actually youre a bigot for even bringing it up in the first place because what about the people that cant have that happen to them but have other similar things happen? honestly i think you just hate trans women and cant stand when things arent about you

My tattoo artist told me his teenage son came out to him as trans by giving him a bunch of blue cupcakes and a greeting card that said "it's a boy!"

"That's cute," I said.

"It was NOT cute!" he snapped. "I thought he was pregnant."

I am only going to respond to this once, because I’ve found it isn’t productive to argue with people online about what terms certain queer people are allowed to coin and use.

You clearly have some internalized transphobia you need to work out. You have an incredibly patronizing and dismissive attitude towards trans men and transmascs. You reblog from people who are actively hateful and bigoted, not just towards trans men, but nonbinary and intersex people as well. You reblog posts talking about how much you want to fuck trans men while dismissing their concerns, which comes of as fetishistic.

Being trans yourself does not give you a free pass to act this way.

It doesn’t matter if you think the term “transandrophobia” is valid or not, or if you claim it comes from problematic roots.

You are not a trans man. You are not part of their community. You do not get to say what words they get to use, and they do not need your permission to discuss their oppression. You do not get to say what they do or do not experience, because you do not KNOW their experiences, and you clearly aren’t willing to listen to the ones that disagree with you.

Look at the replies and reblogs here, how many people are saying your attitude towards trans men is insulting and demeaning. Regardless of your opinion on the word transandrophobia, you are behaving inappropriately. This much is clear.

Additionally, you are dismissing not just the struggles of trans men, but intersex and nonbinary people as well. The supreme court is actively hurting these groups, and your refusal to acknowledge this shows that either you are ignorant of the struggles of other LGBT+ identities, or you just don't care.

You are not immune to holding transphobic and bigoted ideals. Everybody in this society has them regardless of identity, and it’s your job to acknowledge your biases and unlearn them. Learn to support the rest of the LBGT+ community outside of the groups you belong to, or at least work on your own internalized transphobia before you try to join these discussions.

Fighting for your rights is not like sharing a pie. I promise you can care about transmisogyny and the issues trans women are facing without dismissing the concerns of your transgender brothers and siblings.

Trans men I love you. Trans-androphobia is not real. Putting ‘trans-‘ on a phenomenon that doesn’t exist does not describe a new thing. What you’re facing is overlapping transphobia and misogyny. I’m sorry people online got mad at you for saying it’s that, but it’s that.

. You are men, regardless of if you dress fem. Bigots and sexists don’t see you as the man you are, or even as trans. It’s not in a “transgender” way they hate you; they see us as bad men or women, to correct however violently the group finds. Which is misogyny. It’s obvious to me, a trans woman who doesn’t easily pass, that misogynists see trans people simply as bad male/females.

Cis women who don’t do femininity (at least the patriarchy’s standards) are treated the same BY THESE PEOPLE as trans men; as something to correct into an incubator. Lesbians, hairy and fat women, racialized women, strong and confident women receive these same things. Women whose muscles are visible are told that their strength makes them ugly. Which is misogyny. And the disgusting things people say about T’s effects on you is rooted in that.

Trans men I love you. I’m sorry that everyone parrots that men are also affected by patriarchy, yet you feel unease at using the word misogyny. Misandry and androphobia are words for League of Legends players though.

Trans men I love you. You do not want your issues to be a Supreme Court decision removing specifically your personhood, nor do I. What you face is misogyny. Let’s call it that, and face it together 💖

With my issues having been ignored for 21 years, I’d rather it than at very best, everyone around me debating how much I should exist in public.