In Simple Terms, I Think The Main Problem With Transandrophobia Within The Trans Community Is Viewing

you notice how even when transandrophobes strain their brains to come up with One Nice Thing to say about trans men, it's always some version of "they are useful to me"? Like, "oh it's a shame all trans men are mras now, they'd be good for a fuck otherwise" "i used to know this cool trans man who helped me realise my own identity back in the day, too bad they all suck now" "my trans men friends say it's totally okay for me to say these things about their demographic because they're cool and normal". Never even about general contributions to culture, it's canonical that trans men are completely incapable of producing anything of value after all, not about activism, just what trans men have done or could do to specifically benefit them personally. It's really revealing of the actual motives behind opposing trans mens self-advocacy.

Trans friends

This week I

1. Cried

2. Snapped at the wrong people

3. Doom scrolled

4. Stress ate

5. Been angry/scared/depressed/sad/confused

This week I have also

1. Hung out with my best friend

2. Made snacks with some adults and other teens in my community while we talked through our shared fears

3. Danced it out

4. Played with my baby siblings

5. Been hopeful/happy/joyful/embraced community

The next four years are going to be hard. There will be stress, and there will be fear, and there will be uncertainty. There will also be resilience, and community, and love. There will be a hundred thousand tomorrows to come where trans people will continue to exist in the face of everything the world throws at us.

You are not alone. None of us are alone. Reach out to your community, there is always someone who is willing to listen. Find your joy. Make your joy. Just be here, we’re all better off for it.

Friendly reminder that you don’t owe anyone here a debate.

Person thinks trans men can’t reclaim “tranny”?

Wow, that’s stupid. Block ‘em.

Some asshole believes that trans men are uniquely misogynistic or privileged or whatever fun discourse buzzword they’re using today?

Their prejudice is not your problem. Block ‘em.

Random blogger says trans men don’t experience (insert common form of transphobia here)?

Don’t try to prove them wrong by sharing details of your trauma. Just block ‘em.

The worst offenders aren’t going to change. They’re not going to listen to you, or engage in a good-faith debate. Speaking from experience, showing them any vulnerability will just result in it being used against you.

It’s sad, but these people are stuck in a discourse tar-pit that makes them see their trans siblings as enemies. They have to pull themselves out; they won’t hear a word you say, not when they’ve already made up their minds about you.

Don’t give them a platform. Don’t waste your time and energy on bad-faith arguments. Spend it with people who don’t make misunderstanding you their favorite hobby.

And remember:

Make sure you've blocked fite-club/rittz. Like half of the inane discourse yapping goes away when you do, it's great.

alright im starting to just flat out not trust people who arent trans men/mascs that refer to trans MEN as "tboys" and/or "trans boys"

every time i see that shit its usually tied to some really shitty statement in the same exact fucking post

i might have to start collecting screenshots from now on of what im talking about to demonstrate my point later

but anyway, heres a not so friendly reminder: stop infantilizing us by calling us "boys". its trans MEN or trans GUYS or trans DUDES. you should not be calling anyone a trans boy unless you are familiar with them and they are comfortable with that. because a lot of us fucking arent.

The changes you get when starting T are wonderful and should be celebrated.

Don't let anyone tell you that starting T will make you ugly, unlovable, or whatever other bullshit they pull out of where they keep their head.

If you'd be happier on T, start it. ASAP.

They say we can't reclaim "tranny" as if they haven't called our voices "tranny voice" for years, as if they haven't called us "tranny dykes" forever, as if cis people actually care who they hit with that word. I have been called "tranny," I have been called it in multiple languages, in many ways, people in my high school used it to attack me like any other trans person, queer people did. People used it to mock, to hurt, aggrivate, to try to bond.

But they push us out of feminist spaces because suddenly we don't understand anymore, they push us out of sapphic spaces because they deem our bodies gross, our self-expression wrong, and now they push us out of trans spaces because we don't suffer enough. I wonder how much more pain I am supposed to shoulder before it will be enough for it to be deemed worth talking about, for it to be deemed worth discussing, reclaiming.

Because we have the bi experience, the ace, and inter experience: every side turns us away. We're too queer and too damaged, and then we're not queer enough, haven't suffered enough.

All this when you won't even let us talk about our pain in our own voices. How will you ever know it if you never listen; if you make us afraid to talk?

it's kind of a you problem if you read "this is a problem that also affects me" and assume it to mean "i only care about this problem because it affects me. i would not care if it only affected you"

i've seen this a lot more often in reference to anti-trans legislature recently. people acting as though only trans women will be affected by it and then getting mad at trans men and nonbinary people for daring to mention we're also negatively impacted by it

can we just have a community please. i want a community. can we not fight over who has it worse all the time and just give eachother support

isnt it fucked that we still have to remind people that yes, misogyny is still misogyny when it's aimed at trans men and transmascs.

i just remembered that back in elementary and high school, i was friends with a lot of guys and most of them were boy scouts. we were such a tight knit group that it sucked that i was getting left out of things that they wanted me to be a part of. these were all cishet identifying boys at the time, and because i was expressing that i wished i could be in scouts with them, they actually went to their scout leader on my behalf to ask if i could be let in even though i was a "girl". they didn't see me as any different than them. they didn't understand why i couldn't be a part of it.

if you ask me, that's all the proof anyone needs that transphobia & misogyny are learned, not innate. these boys were not old enough to have it drilled into their head at "girls" can't do things that boys "can". they were too young to understand that a "girl" wanting to be masc and seen as a boy could ever be a "bad thing". they saw me as one of the boys. it was never questioned. i actually visited all of these friends after i transitioned and started T and none of them had issues.

they always saw me as one of the boys, to the point of fighting on my behalf to try to get me accepted into their boyscout troop. transphobia, misogyny, and all of these other forms of hatred are learned. not innate. don't let anyone brainwash you into thinking that boys and men are inherently hateful. they're not