"Holy Fuck That's The Coolest Wooper I've Ever Seen--"

"..."

"Ya suck at bein' nice, huh."

His cheek fins droop a bit. Hm. Now this is just akward. "Ya hate me that much?" Guess he's used to it. Part of it was probably deserved, and yet...

"'Kay, hear me out: if I give ya one free punch will ya stop bein' so fuckin', iunno. Tensed up?"

"Uhu, sure."

Oh, great. Smalltalk. His fucking favorite.

He starts dangling backwards, looking around, keeping in a sigh. Oh my goooood this is annoying.

His leg is bouncing, besties.

"Got somethin' else to say, or."

Being kind is so hard.

"..." Casually throws it back through the hole. "Well are ya havin' fun?"

"It's always about why d'ya have balls from the ballpit and never are you havin' fun in the ballpit? Is the ballpit fun? Fuck you."

THROWS ANOTHER BALL.

@livingshinycharm has a solution to boredom: Pushes a paddle ball under the door toward the tub.

"..." Well, he appreciates the effort, even if he'd rather not leave the tub right now. Maybe he'd pick it up later? "Thanks, scamp."

"Ya started, ya--" Oof, okay, yelling hurts. He groans, clawed hand reaching for his side where Plumeria had bandaged him.

"...I AM thankful. T' the nice lady that helped me out. Iunno who ya are, and ya wake an injured bloke up by--"

A beat. "...Y'all only got one good tub?"

Huh? What? To be honest, he can't remember much about the way everything looked around here when he was carried in.

"Hmm. I guess I'm a little more thankful, then. Now, what do ya want? I might be stuck here f'r now, but I kinda wanna go back t' snooze town."

Nice shot!!!!!! He still got it after all. The… dude wakes up, clearly upset, and Guzma answers to that glare with a little nod, completely unfazed.

"Sup du--"

---just to get a taste of his own medicine …er, paper, thrown with much more strenght. It didn't hurt or anything, but having that thing splatted on his face is still annoying!

"Oh fuck you and drown--!

Ya got the only good tub in all the goddamn town, at least be more thankful!"

…dude you're the one who threw that thing to begin with.

"Why are ya so tense?"

Jeez dude. Calm it with the bouncing. It's making him nervous too at this rate. "Fiiiiine. But yer not gettin' my Aqua lore either."

Doubt he wants it, but still. Archie's quiet for a bit, just staring at Guzma. The fin wiggles slowly stop.

"...Though, I guess. If ya have any questions, this is your time to shoot 'em. I'll be honest."

Oh, fuck's sake. This whole bullshit is getting more and more tense every second, isn't it? Archie falls quiet for a few seconds, and those were enough for Guzma to return to get as annoyed as possible, a leg bouncing with clear nervousness.

What do you know? What the fuck does he wanna know?!

"I know what I know." he grumbled, dismissingly waving a hand "Oi, ya said to be nice, not to be besties. You're like, level -4 when it comes to friendship, ya ain't gettin' any hint of Skull lore dude."

Ah. He's the owner. Good to know.

"Cool women?" Interesting. "An' I prefer the term merfolk."

While he'd rather shout, it seems unwise to do so right now. Because of his injuries, but also because he'd rather not be kicked out all hurt without a place to stay. So he'd try his best to be civil.

"...The name's Archie."

No need to lie. It'd probably bite him in the ass, anyway. Archie attempts to sit up a little to see the other better, but quickly abandons the idea when yep, that hurts like a motherfucker.

"An' yerself?"

"I'm the owner of this shithole!!!!!"

He never paid a single dime to be the de-facto owner, but so far nobody tried to evict them so we're good.

"And the nice lady usually brings home cool women, not. Fish men."

A scoff, a quick shrug. Whatever, he doesn't feel like starting a yelling match with the backup singer of the Mermaid Melody. Still doesn't mean he'll act any less aggressive for the time being. Betta fish kinda behavior, to stay in theme with this bullshit.

"Is princess Ariel gonna introduce himself, or..?"

@emeraldpride asked: "What the hell makes you think you can show your face around here?"

Not the first time he heard those words, truth be told. But when he turns around to look at who's basically telling him to piss off, he can't help but raise a brow. Now who might this be? Somehow familiar, and yet... He doesn't think they have met.

"Bwahaha! What's that? Can't show my mug 'round here, you say?" He leans forward, intimidatingly so (a bad habit he's still to shake), and grins wide. "And why's that?"

"I saw you on TV, scamp. Champion's match, right?"

That had been Ree, right? Did he remember wrong? "I might be a fish but I keep up with the news, heh. And yeah, I know about the Tapu bein' a li'l shit. More o' a Fini guy m'self, if ya catch my drift. Though, to be honest? They're all kinda weird."

He had never met them in person, but he heard stories about the Tapu.

“Yeah, po town. The town the tapu cursed to never stop raining. Sis said you were from here, right? From Alola. You gotta know about that… right?”

They shift on their feet, trying to stave the hurt that they’re going to feel pretty soon.

“You don’t gotta patronize me though. You haven’t seen me battle or nothin. You wouldn’t be able to tell. It’s fine.”

@livingshinycharm asked: " HEY YOU!" She is there, but no fight, she brought him a cupcake.

"Finally someone who doesn't wanna fight!"

He's eyeing the cupcake, but...

"...What's the ingredient list?"

He looks down at the ring. Huh. Neat.

When she returns with the sashimi he can't help bit smile a little.

"Ya rearranged them f'r lil' ol' me?"

Man, he wished his stomach wasn't so sensitive, though. Not that he dislikes the food he can eat, it's just... a little limiting sometimes compared to a human.

"Thank you. --Wait did ya jus' have the sashimi on hand somewhere?"

Bee looked down at the cupcake, well for one she took the plastic water stone ring off, washed it off, and put it on his hand. "Here you can have this! One moment!"

She hurried off for a moment. She came back with another little container. This container just had some Sashimi on it, not the most expensive fish possible, but she kind of moved them in the package so they are kind shaped like a cupcake.

"Hows that?"