Nonhungry-and-binary - Rhys

it’s always been so interesting to me that one country’s “civilian casualties” is another country’s “terrorism”

GHOST JACKIE WAS TRYING TO SAVE THAT MAN’S LIFE

SAG-AFTRA Foundation Conversations x

Natalie is the only one who never allowed herself even the illusion of normalcy or happiness after the rescue. The others made some attempt—however fragile—to rebuild their lives or blend into the world. Shauna and Melissa retreated into the façade of stability, marrying and raising children in the quiet rhythms of suburban life. Taissa found a family of her own and pursued a successful career as a lawyer and then a politician. Van poured herself into her pop culture passion by creating her video store and allowing herself to live through the past. Misty satisfied her need to be needed through her career as a geriatric nurse. Lottie created her cult (intentional community). Even Travis tried to build a life with someone (before Nat came back in).

But Nat never created anything for herself. She didn’t even let herself have a home, she lived out of motel rooms across the country for her whole life. She remained completely alone apart from toxic stints with Travis that ended disastrously and brief flings that she sabotaged before they could get anywhere.

Even though she’s colder, harsher, and less openly compassionate in the adult timeline, her moral compass is still strong. It's that very sense of right and wrong that condemns her. She can’t accept joy, can’t allow herself peace, because deep down, she believes she forfeited her right to those things in the wilderness. Every chance at connection, every moment of possible happiness, she sabotages—because she’s still carrying the weight of what they did, and she doesn't believe she deserves to ever put it down. While others try to bury the guilt of what they did out there, Nat wears it on her sleeve.

She’s the closest thing to a “savior” or “saint” in this story, but that’s exactly why she suffers the most.

This is how the scene went, right?

there is just no way that laura lee didn’t experience some form of abuse as a kid

🙏🙏🙏AHHHHH I NEED THEM NOW

One thing about Shauna and her beef with Mari is that she wants to be respected and worshipped and if she can't have that she want people to fear her. And Mari never did either. Mari never worshipped her nor felt like she had to walk around eggshells around Shauna like everyone else did. She didn't pity her. And she wasn't scared of her. Which is kind of stupid at times, but also really telling. The others saw Shauna as if she was the Terminator, but Mari always saw her as a pathetic teenage girl with a lot of insecurities. Which is how Shauna feels deep down and it drove her mad, having someone whose very presence reminded her of those insecurities. And she becomes leader and and Mari still wasn't afraid of her! She becomes Nat's biggest supporter instead! Nope, she never showed her fear toward Shauna. Not even when she was hunted. She was afraid of dying. Not of Shauna. Mari didn't even give Shauna the pleasure of looking her in the eye when she put the necklace on her. Shauna never had the treat of seeing fear in Mari's eyes. Instead Mari tried to take her out with a knife and then told Shauna off one last time, telling her she deserves everything (bad) that's gonna happen to her.

No respect. No fear. Ever. The only time Shauna could have any control over Mari was after Mari was dead. Which says a lot about Mari as a person.

Joy Sullivan, from “These Days People Are Really Selling Me On California”, Instructions for Traveling West

Natalie Scatorccio Somehow Managing to Serve Face in the Worst of Circumstances: A Collection

(while being interrogated and exposed as a liar in a trial ran by teenagers to decide whether her only father figure lives or dies)

(trying to force her suicidal father figure to eat while holding him captive)

(deciding to kill her only father figure)

(facing down a tyrannical dictator who is sabotaging her only chance at getting rescued)

(plotting against that tyrannical dictator)

(losing the last scrap of hope she has left and coming to terms with having to continue to live in a hellscape where she will inevitably lose herself completely)

(serving boyfriend while yelling at her girlfriend, whom she just discovered broke the flight transmitter and is therefore partially responsible for every terrible thing that has happened out there)

(being humiliated by bisexual stalin in front of a crowd and forced to participate in another card draw)