When Harmony Turns To Violence

*COUGH CcOugh* * WHEEZE*

Yoilet: It’s just a prank bro! This is what you and Yoilet would be in a nutshell (Sorry I had to do this) -Evolved Anon

– I APPROVE 👍👍👍 (Of the joke)

Do you remember them?

Perfect For Us (Ralph/Jerry)

So this is a (hopefully) cute fluff/angsty story I wrote about my two bois. It was going to be smut but I changed my mind.

Keep reading

Eric Harris’ mock kidnapping video (ft. Brandi…yes that Brandi) FULL!

Enjoy.

Credit to owner (I don’t remember where I got this from, it was NOT CVA)

Venom: “LADIES AND MUDDAFUCKIN GENTLEMEN. YA BOI, THE LEGENDARY CHEEK SPREADER IS BACK AND BLACKER THAN EVER AND I’M LOOKING FOR A FRESH TIGHT CHOCOLATE STARFISH TO KNUCKLE FUCK ALL THE WAY UP TO YOUR COLON AND NOW WHO VOLUNTEERS TO BE MY FIRST VICTIM”

Eddie, all the way in the back: [slowly raises his hand]

Simon x Markus HCs

You don’t annoy me at all, Pang Anon! I’m sorry for making you wait so long, but your ask actually drowned in my inbox. I’m really sorry about that.

Both feed the ducks. Simon gets attacked by them for some reason. It’s very strange but always a great way to cheer anyone they bring along to this up. They actually managed to get Hank start to start crying after laughing too hard at that sight.

The big spoon is usually Markus, since he likes pulling Simon flush against his chest and entangling their legs together, while lazily brushing through the blonde hair and knotting his fingers in it (which is probably just some kind of mechanism to make sure his partner’s still there after everything that happened). But Simon would almost always be the one to initiate it by scooping closer in the first place, outstretching his arms or just asking Markus to cuddle.

The one who reaches out first is Simon, connecting their hands whenever it’s possible, especially that one time when they borrowed Hanks manual gear shift car from Connor for no apparent reason. Yes, they almost crashed it in the process. And generally, it’s Simon initiating touches, not because Markus isn’t just as starved for the other, but because the RK200’s such a dreamer with so many thoughts and worries rushing through his mind simultaneously that he seems to forget it’s even an option sometimes. Doesn’t make him love the blonde any less though. Exhibit A: One of the things buzzing through his mind constantly is a recording of Simon telling him how much he loves him. Case closed. (They’re whipped.)

The one who needs more attention is Markus though, he just needs Simon around him at all times, and when the PL600 isn’t there he gets uncomfortable to the level of restricted functionality. So, little touches and whispers are well appreciated, exchanged secretly but in plain sight of those who’re watching. Markus always finds a way to settle in-between Simon and whatever he’s doing, and Simon actually likes that, making both of them pretty much dependent on the other in unhealthy levels. But they are able to get their shit together occasionally without the other, since they’re both important parts in the android-rights-committee and still some kind of leading figures to their peers. (Most people like seeing them together anyways, though. It raises the morale. So, let them cling to each other, damnit.)

Simon tries to say “I love you” first. Like about 60 times. He just keeps failing. Either the words won’t come out, or he’s too choked up by some grand romantic gesture the other secretly planned for him, or he’s suddenly (stupidly) unsure whether the feelings are mutual (although his affections are obviously and blatantly returned). He keeps trying and trying and honestly Markus has caught on for a while but he realizes how important it is to Simon to tell him first so he keeps his mouth shut (despite that being pretty much impossible, since it’s a sentence that always appears on the tip of his tongue without his volition. Like when they wake up. Or when Simon’s hair is messy. Or when it isn’t. Or when he talks about the weather. Or when they talk about the revolution. Or when the other’s gone for a few hours and he has to fight the urge to just call and tell him.). But instead, Markus shows him his adoration wordlessly. With the tone of his voice. With little peppered kisses everywhere. With faint touches and careless smiles. His love practically seeps through his actions so much that even someone as oblivious as Simon gets it sometimes…                                                                     But one day, when Markus had a flashback of the android dump, woke up with a scream, shaking afterwards and clutching onto Simon for his dear live, the blonde kept on whispering little nothings and small “I love you’”, promising to stay by the Rk200’s side forever. After that, they just exchange it like greetings. Not because it lost it’s meaning, but because they literally feel it so much. Always. Even if it’s just in the background of their computing processes.

Markus – said in a whiny, accusing tone - hogs the blankets. Simon is lowkey annoyed but highkey “my god he’s cute just end me”. So, Simon solves the problem by getting both of them a single blanket, them cuddling in-between but able to use one for themselves, until he woke up one night to Markus entangled in both of them and himself freezing (they don’t deactivate their temperature sensors anymore). That’s why he tried to pull one to his side. Markus just goes “Quit tryna hog my shit.” in slumber mode, and Simon bursts out laughing.                                    Yes, they fuck afterwards.                                                                       For whatever reason. They just do. They’re weird like that.

None of them are ticklish, honestly. But I do think Simon would recoil whenever Markus peppers kisses along the juncture of his shoulder and neck, because its sensitive to him, often raising a soft mewl or snort when he does so.

Markus is the one that sings in the shower. Full blown QUEEN covers, or any of the other musicians that would be considered classic to someone that never learned to care about Mozart. Always. Simon loves to listen to it by secretly sitting next to the door, whenever Markus leaves to take a “quick” shower. (They usually take about 1 album long.)

Markus does the awful dad jokes. Simon groans about them. It’s a healthy relationship, great symbiosis. But when Simon told Markus he wanted him to be his little toe to be able to bang him against every piece of furniture in the house, Markus literally couldn’t keep his hands off the blonde for the entire day.

None of them kill the bugs in the house. They’re pacifist, goddamnit. But I lowkey headcanon Simon as slightly perturbed by anything that flies, while pretty chill with spiders. He just takes his multiply-legged little friends outside chattering on like “Yeah, you’re cool, but I can’t have your webs all over the place.”, while he’s TERRIFIED and HIDING as soon as something buzzes through his sight. Markus finds him behind the cushions one day, frantically yelling “I don’t want to hurt you, but don’t you fucking dare come closer!” and just like waving his arms into the general direction of the insects as if it would scare them away. Needles to say, it doesn’t, and Markus falls to his knees while clutching his stomach in fear of cracking a rib, laughing hard enough to cry.

Markus wakes up first, because AFTER THE INCIDENTtm Simon needs more average time spent in idle mode, since his core unit can’t withstand that much pressure anymore. He likes to watch Simon sleep. Most of the time it just ends with Simon’s dick in his mouth. Yes, I’m sorry. I’m just stating the facts.

The one who gets jealous easily is Simon, since Markus doesn’t really get the principle yet, having been raised very pacifistic, calm and understanding by Carl, never been confronted with jealousy before. Simon is mainly just scared of losing Markus, since there are enough people who adore the prototype and would like to call dibs, humans and androids alike. But the one who actually gets a little out of hand when he’s jealous is Markus. The first time he sees someone lay an arm around Simon in a clearly intimate gesture, he just shoves it off and pulls Simon to him without even realizing, stuck in the thought that he doesn’t like that for some reason. People stare. Simon can’t bring himself to care in that moment, but they have a lengthy talk about dos and don’ts in a social setting, for example if a livelong friend tries to give you a hug in the presence of your boyfriend. (Markus gets headbutted. But lovingly headbutted.)

Just like the dad jokes, the 2am thoughts are Markus’s thing. Simon is whipped and feels like an idiot for liking it.

They both steal each other’s clothing since they really don’t have anything that belongs to one of them per se. I see Markus totally caring about fashion and stuff after the revolution, but it would take a while for them to see clothing in an aesthetical and not mainly practical version after all. Because the Rk200 model is slightly bigger than Pl600, I can imagine Simon intently hogging the hoodies and sweaters Markus buys, because they’re wider and cuddlier. Also, I think Markus would just get stuck in the skintight shirts Simon tried out once, because they’re too tight for him.

Androids don’t really get hickeys, except if they actively alter their skin to let it look like it (since there’s no blood circulating, physics and stuff (or is it biology (I don’t know I don’t pay attention in class))). Markus would love to kiss and suck on Simons skin, licking on his plastic shell, especially during sex anyways. But the one pursuing a single mark always evident on the neck of the other and making sure it’s there would be Simon. He’s a bit possessive. But only slightly.

Simon is the one that uses Markus as a pillow quite often, climbing into his lap, snuggling into his arms and all that. He also likes to rest his head on Markus’ chest, and Markus occasionally simulates breathing just because Simon likes the raise and fall of his artificial lungs (aka. The ventilation system). But sometimes, Markus is the one that needs the cuddles more, and he is more likely to rest his head over the core unit of Simon whenever he gets scared that it stopped working. Then they stay like that. In their dimly lit apartment, with Simon pressing a chaste kiss to the forehead of his lover.                                                             Obviously, it doesn’t stop at just that kiss…

 Do I headcanon them as horny teenagers? Maybe. No clue where you got that idea from though. And thank you for the great ask. I had a lot of fun writing this.

Don’t ask, just reblog.

Drops of sunshine, sounds so nice, doesn't it?

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