I’m Proud Of You

the ache of nostalgia

I think I was just born with something dark and ugly inside of me. Always waiting to be found out.

planetarium - adrienne rich/@twoheadedfawnn/ugly, bitter, and true - suzanne rivecca/a burning hill - mitski/a hora da estrela- clarice lispector/ @100493503004422/sharp objects - gillian flynn

Franz Kafka, 1912

BOYGENIUS at the Hollywood Bowl | Oct. 31, 2023 (x)

i never loved me, baby, but you do

wintersong, s. jae-jones / orestes, euripides / bloodsport, yves olade / antigone, sophocles / mess is mine, vance joy / x / forever winter, taylor swift / x / x / x / aaron o'hanlon / the best day, taylor swift / the seven husbands of evelyn hugo, taylor jenkins reid / cat on a hot tin roof, tennessee williams / the song of achilles, madeline miller / dancing with our hands tied, taylor swift / h of h playbook, anne carson / mouthful of forevers, clementine von radics / caption: radiate, harbour

— 6:59 AM by Shane Koyczan

Saw this painting on my cruise ship and I couldn't help but think of the ABC crew. Enjolras in the red with Combferre and Courfeyac with him, obviously. Grantaire in the vest on the right (perhaps with Bahorel), Marius in blue to the left....

he is sitting and pondering

ok, little rant about a use of a leitmotif in les mis that i think has slipped under most people's radars!

so you the know the police leitmotif? the "tell me quickly what's the story/who saw what and why and where/let him give a full description/let him answer to javert!" tune that appears whenever somebody gets arrested?

now turn your ear to javert's suicide, specifically the "i am reaching but i fall/and the stars are black and cold" part. it took me a while to notice, but this whole section of the song is just a snippet of the arrest leitmotif:

but he never completes it. the snippet repeats and repeats. try as he might, he finds himself unable to sing the same old song of Justice and Law and Righteousness and Order. he's like a jammed cassette player spitting out the same second of music over and over and over and over again, unable to follow his old ways, but unable to let them go. he's stuck, but he will keep throwing himself against the walls of the cage.

javert is desperately trying to run on his old tracks of thought, but, as vicky h puts it, he experiences "the derailment of a soul, the shattering of an integrity irresistibly propelled in a straight line and dashed against God".

: )

love as religion

jorge luis borges // ron padgett // richard siken // halsey // lana del rey // caitlyn siehl // hozier // katherine philips