Thinking About Alcohol And Alcohol Tolerance In My Lotr Headcanons.

I've been reading a lot of Bill Redeption fics, and I've noticed how Mabel is usually the first to warm up to the triangle.

Now, I've seen a post sugesting a scenario where she is the last instead, because of all the shit he put her trough during Weirdmagedon with the Dream Bubble. And it's true, it would be good to read.

But is there any fic where the first to warm up to Bill is Dipper?

I'd like to see Dipper reluctuanly getting closer to the Dorito because he is curious like his grunkle Ford was, but also because with all of Bill's weirdness and crazyness, Dipper can't help but be reminded of Mabel. I want Dipper to take a look at this strange and now very lost creature trying to make sense of his insane, new reality in his own way and see Mabel. See her in the weird things Bill could sugest to eat, on the strange ways he'd like to have fun, on the risks Bill would sometimes take without realising, on his wish to always have fun, on his constant talking, on his need to be seen and heard and not to be alone.

I want him to take a look at this no longer so evil Dorito and find his sister on him.

And how could anyone so alike to his sister be completely bad?

And then, on the other side would be Bill, seeing Dipper and being unable to not see Ford the way he first found him, naive, cautious with others but so eager to know more. Not a substitute, never that, but a memory of old, good times.

Just... think, try to imagine this.

I had a similar idea, but also very different. Also I want to keep this :)

Plot bunnies - [Severus Snape / Voldemort]

Concept: post-war Snape and post-war Voldemort going back in time, forms a soul bond, trying not to kill each other, and fall in love.

No, but see. Snape knows Voldemort is bad news, but, he also knows about horcruxes, and a lot of the weird changes in the Dark Lord now makes sense to him. He hates Voldemort, fears him, idolizes him, wanting him dead yesterday but can’t help but imagine a strong and sane Voldemort doing good things to the wizarding world. Second chances and all that. Voldemort just hates Snapes gut for betraying him. Snape, who he once trusted the most, once favoured, whom he once saw himself in. All he wanted was to kill Snape in the most gruesome way.

Snape plans to save Voldemort, while preparing for plan B and plan Cs in case he failed, he wouldn’t allow a mad Dark Lord in his world if he can do anything about it. And he is doing something about it. According to his original plan, he is going to kidnap Voldemort somehow, collect whatever horcruxes that was already made, and somehow find a way to piece them together, show his lord about the consequences of his madness, then convince him that no, your old plan isn’t gonna work.

Voldemort plans vengeance, while looking into how not to fail this time, looking for reasons that he failed the last time. Now that he’s not processing on 1/7 of brain power, he sees that his methods perhaps needs some improvements, and maybe, just maybe, 7 horcruxes is a bit much even for him. So while tracking Snape down, he slowly changed strategies, because he truly does want good for the magical world. It’s just, his perceptions were a bit skewed, but death has a way to fix that.

The thing is, neither of them know the other one is also back in time, so, there’s some hilarious miscommunications. Like the assholes they are, Voldemort doesn’t care the Snape in the past doesn’t deserve his wrath, and Snape doesn’t care what Voldemort wants at all.

So Snape forced a soul bond on the two of them, taking advantage of the instability of a fractured soul, trying to use his own soul as an anchor to stabilize Voldemort’s soul. Because he is an suicidal asshole. Now Voldemort can’t torture Snape without feeling a portion of the sensory feedback and can’t kill Snape without dying himself.

Snape is pissed off because he was still angry this version of Voldemort is the one that killed Lily. Yes he is still bitter about it. Voldemort is pissed off because a soul bond is definitely not in his plan of torturing Snape to death, and now that he realizes that this IS the Snape that betrayed him, he wants him dead even more.

But they have to make do, right? They now have a common goal in mind, which is to piece the soul shards together, so that Voldemort can be hopefully completely sane again? And hopefully their bonds will break when the second party of the bond never consented and now a stable and unfractured soul can deny the bond so perhaps it will break?

Because of the bond, they are in each other’s mind. Snape knows he would definitely die a terrible death but at least Voldemort can’t do anything to him now, so he has zero restraint in telling Voldemort that his is a fucking idiot whenever he’s making some bad decisions in anger, like, raiding a muggle village and all that nonsense. Voldemort hates every minute of it, but he is a little grateful for it too.

Anyway, they also research together. The bond is like a google docs in their brain so they’re sharing their researches and adding to each other’s part and for the two geniuses like them, that is probably one of the best research experience they ever had. They understand each other so easily.

Hostility dies down a bit, Snape got injured somehow and Voldemort forces him to stay at his place. Nothing, if you die I will die too and that’s just awefully inconvenient and all that. Imagine the awkward domesticity.

Then, they figure out a way. They prepare for the ritual, both knowing that after that things are going back to trying to kill each other and not die game, and truthfully, they are not too fond of that.

And Snape is Snape, the angst king of all angst. He thinks that Voldemort will absolutely kill him as soon as the ritual is done. But he doesn’t want to kill Voldemort anymore, and he hates himself for being so selfish, and hates himself more for wanting to kill Voldemort.

Voldemort is still suspicious that Snape is going to betray him somehow. But he wants to trust him again. He hates Snape for making him feel that way, and hates himself for being soft.

So. The ritual thing happens. Voldemort is whole again, but the bond did not break. They are both disappointed but a little glad about it.

For the first time in a long time, Voldemort feels his mind is clear and void of the voices telling him to kill and to hurt. For the first time in a long time, Snape no longer has a goal that his life depends on and at risk of dying for. They both feel, a little, empty.

They goes back to the routines. Domesticity is no longer awkward this time and they feel so natural around each other. After spending so long not hiding anything, they feel they can trust each other more than anyone else in the world.

And somewhere in the way, they fall in love, enjoying it while denying it. Both trying to out-flirt the other while pretending that no, there’s absolutely no feelings between them. They have a purely professional relationship sharing the same political insights and the same academic interests. They are NOT a couple. No. What are you talking about Lucius.

And it just became so natural. They wake each other up from nightmares, laugh at the silly and untrue stories on the newspapers, discussing their childhood and their dreams, sharing Thanksgiving dinners and wake up on the Christmas Day smiling and muttering sleepy g'mornings.

One day, Snape says, “I have never apologized for betraying you, have I?”

“Are you apologizing now?”

“No, you were wrong, and you were an asshole, and I am not sorry for going to Dumbedore.”

“Well, I’m sorry for killing you though, and your death had been completely unnecessary, sorry about that too.”

“I am not sorry for the action of betraying you, but I do regret that my choice had hurt your feelings.”

“Thats not apologizing.”

“I told you I’m not apologizing.”

“You are terrible. I should have killed you.”

“Why didn’t you though? We both know that the bond didn’t break because you are holding on to it. For some reasons.”

“It’s just such a pity I guess.”

“For what?”

“I love too much for that, I guess?”

“You guess?”

“I know.”

“Um, you know what? Me too.”

That’s it. The end.

This is the maybe 20k story that’s never going to get written because I don’t have enough brain power to plan out how these two lovely genius assholes scheming to kill each other. I’m no Slytherin.

Someone please write this. I want an LVSS fic so badly.

The Potions prince

Snape, unbeknownst to the rest of the magical world, survives Nagini and just joins the muggle world, tired of Potter's and Voldemort's shit.

Because he is very angry at the incompetence of the ministry of magic, and because he has nothing left to loose, he decides to test just how bad the ministry sucks at its job: 2005 he creates a YouTube account on which he brews potions on camera.

9 years later James Sirius Potter is confused by his first year potion class and decides to google it, stumbleing over the Snape accout which, by now, has millions of followers and is an insanely popular ASMR channel.

Harry is lead to believe that his son has inherited Lily's and Flamont's potion talents... James would rather die then betray the source of his good grades to his dad of all people, but Sev's comment sections are filled with thankful Hogwarts students all of a sudden.

Everyone was panicking. The Avengers had just received a ransom video showing Tony in the hands of some HYDRA kidnappers. They were currently rewatching it, hoping to find some clues to where HYDRA was keeping Tony, as JARVIS couldn't locate him.

"What'cha watching?" a voice over Steve's shoulder said, startling him.

Behind him stood Tony. Steve couldn't do anything other than gawk at Tony, who, other than a few scrapes and bruises, looked completely fine.

"I guess you didn't want to wait for us to rescue you," Bucky remarked.

Tony grinned. "Where would be the fun in that?" he said.

A concept I really like (aside from this ship) is the idea that purebloods are so used to magic that they have no imagination whatsoever. That is the other reason they seem stuck in time. It's not just that magic and technology don't mix well, but they have so little imagination, such a narrow-minded mentality, that they are shit at coming up with new inventions. They don't change. No new moda, no new music or aesthetic. No new spells. They can't picture themselves flying unaided or locking someone else's tongue or muffling themselves for a private conversation. Magic is so common to them that they are blind to the possibilities. But Severus isn't and neither is Tom. And I also like to imagine that Secerus was the one to invent the spell...

The flying boys

That reminds me: what if Severus taught Tom to fly, not vice versa? It is Severus who obsessively comes up with new spells, it is Severus who sees small Lily literally flying "like a trapeze artist through the air", and it is Severus who discovers the Levicorpus spell.

In the UK they are the only ones canonically doing it. Why would Tom otherwise not teach this useful spell to other Death Eaters? That is their date spell, that is why! Miggle-raised kids have a higher chance of coveting it instead of saying "Well, we have brooms and Apparition, what do we need flying for" like wizard-raised kids would.

Ready to rec some awesome fics that I read this month!! Feel free to add on with some of your own Bagginshield recs. 😁

March 2024 Rec List

G Rated:

A Home, A Pack, A Place of Love by Lucigoo89 (WIP, 4K, 2ch.)- You can't keep me away from puppy fics! Deciding to run away from home, Corgi Bilbo takes puppy Frodo and escapes into the streets which might not be that friendly to the small animals. The love between Frodo and Bilbo is already so adorable and we haven't even met any company members yet!

To Court a King by Porphyrios (Complete, 19K, 1ch.)- This fic has been recced a lot recently and it's totally worth it! Bilbo and Thorin have decided to court, only some are worried about the worthiness of such a match. I have reread this fic twice just this month alone.

T Rated:

Desperate Magic by BeautifulFiction (Complete, 5K, 1ch.)- This is one of those fics that is worth revisting again and again. On the brink of death, Bilbo sees it in himself to tend to Thorin's hair. It's such a unique kind of Everybody Lives fic, and I just get overwhelmed by the love in this story.

Frozen Heart by snowmissus (soul_of_blaze) (WIP, 7K, 3ch.)- When Danny first promoted this fic on tumblr I was 100% invested. Erebor is trapped in a forever winter and Bilbo is brought to see if he can help. I can't wait to see what all is in store for this fic because the setup is spectacular.

Golden Hearts Bleed Faster by LordOfTheRazzles (WIP, 3K, 1ch.)- I've been waiting for Razzy to release this fic. Bilbo Baggins is the Prince of the Shire and in need of a new bodyguard, Thorin. Bilbo is just so sassy and you can tell this is going to lead to some good antics between the duo.

There and Not Back Again (or, The Saving of Erebor) by femmbingley (WIP, 164K, 49ch.)- There's so much to say about this fic. Post-BOTFA dwarven politics where Bilbo has assumed the duties of the consort which makes things more difficult for Dain. I really love the characterizations and I just can't get enough of this fic!

M Rated:

A heart of stone and Fire in his soul by Lucigoo89 (Complete, 3K, 1ch.)- This fic is chock full of beautiful metaphors. Bilbo's introspection on his thoughts of Thorin during their first standoff with Azog. Honestly, this is one of my favorite Goo fics.

E Rated:

Kurdu 'abadaz by LordOfTheRazzles (WIP, 34K, 6ch.)- This is unlike any Post-BOTFA fic I've ever read. The magic of the Arkenstone brings Thorin back to life for a purpose: help the trapped souls of Erebor. There's such a touching scene between Thorin and his amad that has me in pieces over this fic!

Sleep Alone; Start All Over by vicious_summer (WIP, 56K, 3ch.)- I'm still thoroughly enjoying this fic so far. After an accident, Bilbo is the one who ends up losing about seven years worth of memories including the fact that he’s married to the King Under the Mountain. I’m just always so impressed with vicious_summer’s writing style as it has a more Book!Bilbo vibe.

Do you know what would also be interesting?

A serie of one-shots like this. A group of what-ifs. And some characters reacting to them.

So, like you said, what if Lily survived along with Harry, and not understanding his true roll in the war, sent him to Azkaban?

What if Lily helped Severus on the day of his worst memory?

What if he changed schools?

What if he left the Wizarding World?

What if he'd been sorted into Gryffindor? Or Ravenclaw? Hufflepuff?

And some others that, at the begginig, seem to focus on someone else, but they end up focusing on Snape somehow.

What if Riddle hadn't hidden his true upbringing, but still managed to form the Death Eathers?

What if James got over Lily?

What if Dumbledore found out about the horrocruxes earlier?

What if Grindelwald escaped and formed a third party on the war?

And... Well, you get it.

I just think it would be hilarious to have most people realize that, yes, Severus is important. All the while Dumbledore and Voldemort are squeezing their brains, trying to think of a way to ensure tge man's loyalty.

And Severus only thought is an absolutly miserable "Why me?"

(Fic Idea)Lily and Harry Survive But...

Lily and Harry survive, Lily throws Severus into Azkaban. She watches with gleeful pleasure as the dementors suck all the happy memories away from him. She hears him beg "Please don't take her away from me" and wonders who he could be talking about. A few days later she goes to him to gloat but he doesn't recognize her. The story could focus more on Lily finding out all the things Severus did in the first war since he switched sides. One could create a few dramatic and painful choices he would have had to make then as well.

Ending with the grim prospect of the dark lord rising soon on the horizon and no spy to keep the pace of the war in check. ----

Maybe make a few known and beloved characters attempt to spy only to fail miserably/go insane/ switch sides.

Those who fail of course get tortured and killed for information, making the war even harder.

-------

The entire focus of the fic would be to highlight how monumental Severus Snape's contribution to both wars was.

The little pawn got sick of chess,

so it took the knight's sword,

and slayed both kings by itself.

Sometimes I wonder where Bullroarer Took’s club ended up. Did it get thrown away after the hobbit's death? Is it hanging up somewhere?

I like to imagine that Bilbo has it somewhere in his Smial, and if he’d been more angry than confused by Thorin’s grocer comment, he might have gone to get it. The dwarves would have been sitting down at the table when Bilbo walked in carrying this massive club over his shoulder that was almost as tall as he was. That Bilbo slams it down on the table rather proudly and declares that ‘this is my weapon of choice’.