Due To My Ignorance Regarding Canon, I Shouldn't Be Allowed To Write This, But There's Noone There To

You know what I would find really hilarious?

CONSIDER:

The Avengers meet God of Stories Loki and Mobius. Mobius is very charming, very folksy. He pours everyone coffee. Makes sure the thermostat in the conference room is at a comfortable temperature. Offers croissants. All the markers of a good host.

The Avengers all like him right away but are wary of Loki. After a comedic abridged version of a TVA infodump, in which Loki and Mobius ping-pong little details and show their whole squabble and tease dynamic, one of Kang's underlings is captured.

MOBIUS: Okay. Think I got a read on this guy. You wanna take a swing at him for intel or should I?

LOKI: I think you should. Y'know, trying out the whole 'good guy' bit.

MOBIUS: Sounds good. Gentlemen's competition. Time me?

LOKI: Of course.

And the Avengers watch as this cozy little human goes in and just EVISCERATES the underling. No weapons. No superpowers. Just WORDS.

The underling is on the floor, in a fetal position, sobbing and begging no more. He spills all the critical information they need. Mobius steps out.

The Avengers are in SHOCK.

BUCKY: (mumuring) ... Jesus Christ ...

HAWKEYE: (whispering) Holy shit, he's scarier than Nat.

MOBIUS: (to Loki) How'd I do?

LOKI: 2 minutes and 43 seconds. Not bad.

MOBIUS: Eh, still haven't beat your record.

LOKI: Well, I do have the advantage of magic. Should I take a handicap?

MOBIUS: Don't insult me.

So...

Does anyone know about a retelling of the Minotaur myth where Ariadne pretends to be in love with Theseus so he'll lead her into the labyrinth where she'll be able to rescue her brother?

Ready to rec some awesome fics that I read this month!! Feel free to add on with some of your own Bagginshield recs. 😁

March 2024 Rec List

G Rated:

A Home, A Pack, A Place of Love by Lucigoo89 (WIP, 4K, 2ch.)- You can't keep me away from puppy fics! Deciding to run away from home, Corgi Bilbo takes puppy Frodo and escapes into the streets which might not be that friendly to the small animals. The love between Frodo and Bilbo is already so adorable and we haven't even met any company members yet!

To Court a King by Porphyrios (Complete, 19K, 1ch.)- This fic has been recced a lot recently and it's totally worth it! Bilbo and Thorin have decided to court, only some are worried about the worthiness of such a match. I have reread this fic twice just this month alone.

T Rated:

Desperate Magic by BeautifulFiction (Complete, 5K, 1ch.)- This is one of those fics that is worth revisting again and again. On the brink of death, Bilbo sees it in himself to tend to Thorin's hair. It's such a unique kind of Everybody Lives fic, and I just get overwhelmed by the love in this story.

Frozen Heart by snowmissus (soul_of_blaze) (WIP, 7K, 3ch.)- When Danny first promoted this fic on tumblr I was 100% invested. Erebor is trapped in a forever winter and Bilbo is brought to see if he can help. I can't wait to see what all is in store for this fic because the setup is spectacular.

Golden Hearts Bleed Faster by LordOfTheRazzles (WIP, 3K, 1ch.)- I've been waiting for Razzy to release this fic. Bilbo Baggins is the Prince of the Shire and in need of a new bodyguard, Thorin. Bilbo is just so sassy and you can tell this is going to lead to some good antics between the duo.

There and Not Back Again (or, The Saving of Erebor) by femmbingley (WIP, 164K, 49ch.)- There's so much to say about this fic. Post-BOTFA dwarven politics where Bilbo has assumed the duties of the consort which makes things more difficult for Dain. I really love the characterizations and I just can't get enough of this fic!

M Rated:

A heart of stone and Fire in his soul by Lucigoo89 (Complete, 3K, 1ch.)- This fic is chock full of beautiful metaphors. Bilbo's introspection on his thoughts of Thorin during their first standoff with Azog. Honestly, this is one of my favorite Goo fics.

E Rated:

Kurdu 'abadaz by LordOfTheRazzles (WIP, 34K, 6ch.)- This is unlike any Post-BOTFA fic I've ever read. The magic of the Arkenstone brings Thorin back to life for a purpose: help the trapped souls of Erebor. There's such a touching scene between Thorin and his amad that has me in pieces over this fic!

Sleep Alone; Start All Over by vicious_summer (WIP, 56K, 3ch.)- I'm still thoroughly enjoying this fic so far. After an accident, Bilbo is the one who ends up losing about seven years worth of memories including the fact that he’s married to the King Under the Mountain. I’m just always so impressed with vicious_summer’s writing style as it has a more Book!Bilbo vibe.

Everyone knows the movie Megamind, right?

I liked the trope of goofy villain who was not, in fact, good at being bad. Then he falls in love with someone and chooses to stop trying to be bad.

I also say "trying" because what the movie showed us that Megamind wasn't, in fact, bad. He was "given" that role and when he realised he couldn't escape it, he embraced it.

But what if that trope was done more seriously?

I'm not talking about Megamind specifically. It could be used for any original story or ff, but it could work.

One where a villain, and I'm talking about a real villain, one that has done some serious shit, meets someone new.

Or maybe a new group of people. This could work as a romantic trope, found family or both.

And this person or people they meet is/are... a bit strange maybe. They are not evil, not even bad, but they have an odd moral standing. They are good with some people, with those they care about, maybe they are even involved in some charities, not even to commit fraud, but because they genuinely want to help.

But they also understand that sometimes, people do awful shit, sometimes a person is forced to act and do horrible things. Sometimes people choose to step over some heads in order to reach some goal. And it is... It's not "ok", but they get it and keep on living.

And sometimes, when they feel cornered and/or with no option, they are also willing to crush some skulls themselves.

And when this villain starts hanging out with them, they start finding things they have in common and start enjoing their time togheter. Inadvertently, villain starts remembering what it was like before, how he felt, how he acted, the things that mattered before, his main, true goal and the actual reason villain is doing all he's doing, the reason they've done everything they've done.

They also find out that this new person (or people) get it too. Maybe they won't help, or maybe they will, but that's not what's important.

And without realising, villain starts relaxing around who they've met. They start talking more, they start laughing and smiling and acting more goofy.

They don't change. They still are who they are and still act the way they've always have. But, when they are with that someone, they are happier, and when they are asked to stay for lunch they do so knowing that it's ok, they are welcome, there's no ulterior motive, they are safe. When they are taken to a party or a birthday they have fun. And everyone there knows who they are and what they do. Half of them think it's justified, the other half doesn't care. And when they are asked to help with some cause, they don't mind. It's always fun when that person is around (besides, who wouldn't want to play with the pups on the animal shelter).

They are still a villain, though some people have started labeling them as a "renegade", a "rogue" or his least favorite "anti-hero". They are not. They're still a villain, they just have little... moments, reserved for a select few.

Those few keep them centered, they help villain to remember their goal and prevent them from falling pray to a futile seek for power or control. They are a villain, they just have their priorities clear.

And on the day to day, what if they started smiling more? What if they remember to thank the cashier or the waitress in a cafe? They know what it's like to work serving people who treat you like another piece of furniture in the restaurant. What if they, sometimes, give some spare change to a homless person on the street, or if they donate some old clothes from time to time? They've got no use for them.

They are a villain. Some even would say THE villain. They are not good. They just... know how it feels when you are tired or feel a bit... helpless.

They forgot, for a long time. But they remember now. They were reminded.

It's not sympathy and definitely not empathy, obviously. What are you even saying?

They are bad, ruthless, cruel...

But sometimes they remember how it was before for them and just for a moment they simply... forget that they are bad. It's nothing important.

And if it makes them just a little warm, a little content and maybe... proud, when they do it; when they see the other smile at them for being able to share whatever this is; when they make a small difference for someone they don't even know, well... That's noone business.

Heyyy, noticed you said that you're confused about Megatron (what with D-16 and Megatronus being thrown around), and I thought I'd explain! I do not mean to demean you in any way, I'd just like to explain because I like talking :>

Megatron is, well, Megatron- Optimus Prime's arch-enemy, the leader of Decepticons. That stays the same throughout basically every continuity (show, comic, yadda yadda…).

D-16 is a newer "past" version of Megatron- I believe that he's exclusive to the Transformers One movie. He's a miner with Orion Pax, best of buds, and also Megatronus Prime fanboy (Megatronus Prime being one of the thirteen Primes to emerge from Primus). After discovering Sentinel Prime's betrayal, as he killed the thirteen to seize power, he gets way pissed off about it and kills Sentinel, taking the name "Megatron" to honour(?) Megatronus Prime.

Megatronus is a bit older- he's the past version of Megatron in Transformers Prime. In this, he was a successful gladiator from Kaon, and he wanted to start a revolution or something of the like to end the social castes that Cybertron lived under that's based on your alt mode. But, oh no, he's been evil all this time! He becomes Optimus Prime's #1 hater after Optimus, at the time Orion Pax, is chosen to be the next Prime instead of him (they also were friends in this too, and Orion was an archivist).

In the comics (at least the 2005 IDW comics), Megatron was always Megatron, though he started as a miner. After some shenanigans happened, I'm not exactly sure as to what, Megatron is sent to the Pits of Kaon to be a gladiator. After that, somehow, he starts the Decepticon movement and then the war. Orion Pax, in this continuity, is a police officer who is deeply concerned about the state of Cybertron, which lives under a caste system, like the Transformers Prime universe.

Also, the show that you're talking about with the episode where Optimus gets amnesia is Transformers Prime. The episode in question, though, could be Season 1, Episode 26, in which Prime initially loses his memory, or Season 2, episodes 1-3, which focus on the aftermath.

Have a good day! Many apologies if this offends you!

Hi!

Thank you for your answer, it was not offensive at all. I really appreaciate you taking the time to explain a bit of the show(s) to me.

Also, thank you for sort of adding the reasoning behind Megatron creating the Decepticons, I hadn't realised it was a point I wasn't yet aware of.

Have a nice day!

So...

Dumbledore is a complex character. Some put him as a hero, some as a villain. Both are good, honestly.

I think my favorite representation so far is from "Falling Apart", a Severus Snape centric fic.

And, I'm pretty much a Snape fan.

I'd like a bit of a more friendly relationship between them, but not the mentor-apprentice kind. More like, two very exhausted adults, one too old who thinks he knows everything, one too young, who knows too much and is done with life.

And, please listen here, Severus calls Albus 'Wulfric'.

Imagine, Severus just coming from a meeting and Dumbledore asking in an overly happy manner 'How are you, my boy?', even though Severus told him not to call him that.

'Very well, Wulfric. You?'

'All is well, Percival.'

'Just peachy, Brian.'

All the time. Alone, with Order memebers around, other memebers of staff or in front of Hogwarts' children. He would do it in front of Voldemort if he had the chance.

Imagine, Severus calling Dumbledore 'Wulfric' the same way the headmaster calls Voldemort 'Tom'.

Sometimes I wonder where Bullroarer Took’s club ended up. Did it get thrown away after the hobbit's death? Is it hanging up somewhere?

I like to imagine that Bilbo has it somewhere in his Smial, and if he’d been more angry than confused by Thorin’s grocer comment, he might have gone to get it. The dwarves would have been sitting down at the table when Bilbo walked in carrying this massive club over his shoulder that was almost as tall as he was. That Bilbo slams it down on the table rather proudly and declares that ‘this is my weapon of choice’.

Ok...

I need someone in the WW with a gun. Preferably Severus Snape. And I'm not saying he should go and shoot the Marauders or Voldemort. I'm saying that people in the WW are so fucking condescending that I want them to see and understand why exactly there is a statute of secrecy.

I clarify that this is mostly something I see in ff and I'm not sure if it's so much like this in canon. Feel free to tell me.

But back to the point, the amount of wizards compared to muggles is laughable and with the appropiate weaponry wizards are toast.

Also, poverty. I headcanon that the concept of poverty in the WW and in the MW are not the same. People goes on and on about how poor the Weasleys are and, ok, they aren't rich, but with only one working parent they manage in a family of nine? Wtf?

Ok, Ron took his own food instead of buying from the cart on the train, and yes, they used hand-me downs. That doesn't seem like enough reason to view them the way everyone there seems to.

Arthur literally works in the goverment.

Now, lets think about the people we see briefly on Knockturn Alley. They look very poor.

What does poverty entail in the WW?

Lets go step by step.

Assuming you can pay for housing, even if not a very good place, and you are able to afford enough food.

There is no electricity in that world, so that's one thing you don't have to consider. There is gas, maybe, if there are normal ovens. Then water.

And then you have bills to pay for your property.

Then, normally a person would have to pay for the furnishing and clothes they use, correct?

Everything, and I mean everything you own would be used indefinitely.

With no magic things break and clothes wear off. They can also be too big or small. Or maybe you simply don't like them, idk.

With magic everything can be repaired as many times as you need and what you fixed would be as good as new (for exampke, Harry's glasses in the first movie where an 11 years old Hermione fixed them). Clothes, maybe can't be repaired (though I doubt it), but if you are careful, with shrinking and enlarging charms, they could be used for a long time, maybe even by different people. I idk if there is enough transfiguration around for you to change clothes into something you like better. Going by Ron's reaction at the suit he used for what I think was the Yule Ball, I'm guessing you can't (which I find weird, but ok, lets go with that).

Conclussion, clothes and belongings would not be as much of a problem in the WW than in the MW.

Lets go with light, water and gas, yeah?

There is no electricity. You can literally make water appear. The amount of effort required is not specified, but if you had need of clean, drinking water, you can get it. And if you can't afford gas (assuming it's actually necessary in that world), there are spells to start fire, to heat water and who knows if there are actually spells to warm up a person.

Now, lets make thing even more unfortunate and assume you have nowhere to live.

Are you going to tell me that a person wouldn't pull up a Newt Scamander and live in a bag? Hermione charmed her bag in DH, so it can be done. Maybe get a cereal box and charm it to live there, who knows?!

And food. Ok, this may be a real problem, but perhaps there are also ways aroud this. Going and growing your own food it's not easy, but if you can create different micro-climates (again, Newt Scamander), and with spells and potions you can't convince me don't exist, it is possible.

But would it really be necessary? Would a person with magic reach that point when they can go to the MW and use their magic for easy coin? They could go around fixing things with no effort and receive regular payment. They could scam people or rob a house and go to Gringotts. Sure, justifying the money could be a problem, assuming the goblings care. Or they could simply buy everything in the MW and discard Gringotts.

My point, people in the WW would not imagine how things could be if they found themselce with no way out.

Perhaps I'm being unrealistic (even if we are considering magic) and am not seing something or cknsidering other things that would make all of this things too hard to be pulled of. Once more, feel free to tell me.

But lets go back to the gun thing, ok?

Because with all I've read in fanfiction I feel like wizards are portrayed in a way that makes them seem incredibly condescending of muggles while at the same time they manage to remain ridiculously ignorant. And even if I'm going by a lot of what I see in fanfiction, I feel that canon is not very far from it.

So, lets give someone a gun, lets get someone shot, not fatally, so they can tell the tale. Someone should be hit or nearly hit by a car. Damn, make someone get electrocuted. Make them see the effects of drugs.

Take them to a fucking hospital so they may see what its like to break a bone and have to endure a surgery and weeks or even months without being able to use a limb because there's no quick, easy fix.

I have this headcanon that some people in the WW need a reality check.

Red Riding Hood

I'm quite sure most people on tumblr have already read of a story with Red Riding Hood falling for the wolf and what not, but has anyone ever found one about the wolf finding this child alone in the woods and thinking: Why are you ALONE in a forest full of wild animals and monsters?!?! Where are your parents?!?!?

Then the wolf realises that the girl is being neglected to a practically critical point and decides to adopt her or perhaps the little girl starts following the nice man that took her to visit her granny safely and knows where to find the best and juiciest berries.

Anyways, eventually there is a missing report filled not by the girl's parents but by Hood's grandma. And of course, noone would even think abount getting into the deep part of the forest. Cue to bounty hunter, a.k.a The Woodman, who takes the job mainly on principle (granny is not exactly a wealthy woman) an goes looking for the girl.

He finds her and tries to make her go with him when he is suddenly attacked by this huge creature who then turns into a man an treathens to maim him if he even DARES looking at his little Hood the wrong way.

Woodman tries to explain himself and tells him that the girl's grandma is worried beyond words.

Wolf hesitates before looking at his little girl who smiles gleefuly only thinking about visiting her grandma.

And Wolf doesn't want to part from Hood, but he wants her to be her happiest, so he mentally prepares himself for the moment he has to let her go and allows Woodman to lead the way to granny's.

Woodman is kinda shocked, kinda confused when the Wolf scoops the little girl and carries her most of the way, chatting and laughing with her until she asks to walk so she can look for bugs on the way.

He sees the sadness in his eyes the moment the girl is distracted and a pang of sympathy stirres in his chest at those pretty green eyes filled with sorrow and loneliness.

But then they make it to granny's. That woman opens the door, looks at the Woodman, the Wolf and Hood, the later with her little hand in the shifter's big one, all smiles and sunshine as if she hadn't disappeared for MONTHS, and drags the three of them into her house, practicaly shoving snacks and hot chocolated in front of them because her little grandaughter had never before been so happy and relaxed with anyone else above her own age (if even). In short, if this wolf/man of a shifter was her family of choice, then she'll bake extra brownie.

And maybe some cake... that should be enough to feed the blushing woodman sitting next to the happy wolf.