Pika-Choo-Choo 😍

There once was a young Christian boy who ate cigarettes. Every day he would eat more and more, but he would not die because he prayed while he ate the cigarettes. He ate so many cigarettes that he grew to tremendous size. When the boy finally died, the priests wrapped him in a great silken funeral cloth. It was then that the heavens opened, and from the clouds descended the hand of God, who plucked the tremendous cigarette boy from his casket. It was then that God lit a flame and smoked him.

been thinking about fantasy/scifi rule systems and free will

feeling dead and numb so I'm reading bad ending hanahaki fics to feel something

"bluey sets unrealistic expectations for parents" like we haven't all wondered why our parents don't do things with us like the TV parents do. the expectations are already set higher than they're getting to. they aren't even reaching for the bar -- in fact, they're actively trying to limbo underneath it

'Revenge is bad' to YOU. i love when a character destroys everyone who wronged them. i love when they get to bite and maim and tear and rip and scratch and kill. Sorry ur catholic about it but i'm different

To all my writers who have a tough time with smut terms and not knowing which ones to use, I have found the holy grail for us.

This reddit user took a poll of 3,500 people and went really in depth with asking their favorite terminology, along with actual pie charts on what the readers preferred to see in their smut.

Here's the direct link to the Google doc with all the info!

En uzun yoldur, insanın içi.

Cahit Zarifoğlu

I didn't think much of other people before the incident.

Humans are cruel; I am aware of that. Everybody is. Humans are cold, selfish, and prideful. Kids are self-centered and the ego they gain as they grow does them no favors.

Being a tree gives you a lot of time to think. A lot of time to miss the little things you had. I miss the taste of the apples I ate in the morning, miss the feeling of a soft blanket under my hands, miss the way my love's arms would wrap around me while we slept.

I don't know how I'm seeing what is happening around me. Feeling as a tree is very strange. I feel a squirrel running on my branches and the bugs crawling beneath my bark and the ivy winding its leaves around mine. There's so many sensations but also not. I normally feel like I'm asleep, but sometimes I'll wake up and just feel for a long time.

I don't really know where I am or how long it has been. There are sidewalks and people and a lot of dogs, so I think it is some kind of park. The days bleed together - the sky is always cloudy and there's enough street lights around that I can't always tell if it is night time unless I focus. It's peaceful this way, really. I don't know if I miss being human.

I don't know a lot of things these days. My thoughts aren't very clear and it takes a while for anything coherent to really form. I should probably be more worried about this, but that's not something a tree can manage, I guess.

I've learned a lot about people this way. I can feel the emotions behind their words and actions in a way I never had before. Friends have picnics in my shade, kids climb my branches, joggers stop to rest against my trunk. There's so much passion in everything they do. It's incredible, really.

A lady came by one day. She seemed to know that I could hear her? It was pretty lucky that I was awake, honestly, so if I wasn't she would've been talking to nothing. People stared at her weird anyways. I guess talking to random trees isn't normal, huh?

She asked me how I was doing and if I enjoyed my punishment. I didn't really understand; what was I being punished for? what was the punishment? It took a while for me to remember that I wasn't always a tree. I knew I had memories of a before, of a time where I lived as one of the humans, but memories don't work right as a tree. She was surprised. I don't know why. What was she expecting?

She asked if I had learned my lesson. Told me that they had stopped looking for me already... that they didn't care.

I'm the one that didn't care anymore. I am happy this way. No stress, no worries, nothing. Just passive observation and sleep. It was the most peaceful time of my life, I think.

I grew tired and started to lose my grip on hearing and sight, slowing slipping into sleep. the last thing I saw was the woman standing between my roots with a faraway look in her eyes. After that, I never saw her again.

You angered a witch, and in retaliation, she transformed you into an unmovable tree in a public park. Months later, she returns with the sinister hope of reveling in your suffering, only to find that you are not only surviving but thriving and happier than ever before.