I keep thinking of this concept where the Ghouls or whoever are trying to figure out if a boy has bad intentions when flirting with someone and they go to former playboy Kieran Valentine like an old sage warrior to ask for his opinion
Au where SBI are heroes and Tommy becomes a villain to spend time with them
Explanation:
Basically Phil, Wilbur, and Techno are all superheroes, the best ones in the city, but because they're so busy saving lives all the time they accidentally start to neglect their youngest, Tommy. So Tommy realizes that the only way to see his family is when they're at work.
The problem is that Phil, Techno, and Wilbur don't want to let tommy become a hero since they don't want him to get hurt
So Tommy becomes a villain instead
Turns out he's a bit too good at being a villain, because his family can never catch him.
Cue his family neglecting Tommy more, but spending more time trying to catch this new villain who just seems to know exactly how to outsmart them.
Tommy realizes that he can be himself around his family when he's the villain, loud laugh, funny jokes that annoy them.. all without the tension and guilt that all of them seem to have around him. So Tommy stops bothering to try and spend time with his family as a civilian, after all, all he needs to do is blow up an entire building and his family will come.
(he didn't.)
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Buys you rare and expensive gifts
Flies you on his private jet
Buys you an apartment and arranges for your honeymoon
Buys the company you work at
Buys back your childhood home
Superbat Master Collection
girlboss, himbo husband, and their quasi-redeemed tsundere supervillain third wheel~
Tim: You can't just run around here shirtless! Where's your binder!?
Jason: Shit! Where is my...... Did you forget I'm cis?
Tim:........maybe. It's hard not to when your tits are bigger than mine
Damian: You forgot too, idiot
Jason: Why don't you wait until you're taller than my tits before you run your mouth
Bruce: I will give you each $500 right now to talk about anything else
i do love the idea of the wayne kids giving bernard shovel talks about taking care of tim and all that but also give me batfam who are just as protective of bernard as they are of each other.
give me bernard, attending his first wayne gala as tim's significant other. having a suit custom tailored and funded by bruce even if bernard insists it's not necessary because he already has one. arriving at the gala anxious because of course he is, it's a goddamn socialite event, but being protected from every side by the wayne kids even when tim is dragged away.
Socialite: Oh, and who might you be?
Bernard: Oh, um, hi. I'm Bernard Dowd, nice to meet you.
Socialite: Dowd? I've never heard of your family before. Who...?
Bernard: I'm not here with my family, miss, I'm here with my boyfriend.
Socialite: ... Boyfriend?
Bernard: Yeah, I'm here with Tim.
Socialite, frowning: Tim... as in Drake-Wayne? He has a boyfriend?
Dick, coming up next to Bernard: He sure does! Bernard here is practically one of ours now, aren't you? He matters to Timmy, so he matters to us.
Bernard: Dick—
Dick: C'mon, let's get you back to Timmy. Farewell, Mrs!
Bernard: I could've handled that.
Dick: All the rules that apply to my siblings during galas apply to you too. I'm sure you could've, but you shouldn't have to. I've got your back too, now, yeah?
Bernard: ... Yeah. Thanks, Dick.
Jason, coming up to Bernard at the bar: Not to freak you out, kid, but there's a guy starin' at ya from the other side of the bar. Y'know him or should I encourage him to look away?
Bernard, startled: Huh? (looks around) Oh. No, I don't know him. Why... is he looking at me like that, actually?
Jason, scowling: 'S just how the slimy fuckers at these events are. Can't keep their eyes off anything that's small, young or pretty. Disgusting. I'll deal with him— where's your annoying other half gone, inferior blondie?
Bernard: Tim? He got pulled away for quote; 'something important' by some lady. He said he'll meet me here after he's done, so I've been waiting.
Jason: Huh. If I see him I'll point him yer way. Hey, don't be 'fraid to ask any of us questions or for help if ya need it. We know the best how daunting this shit can be.
Bernard, genuinely touched: ... Thanks, Jason.
Jason: Yeah, yeah. Don't tell Timmers I said that, though, he'll call me a loser.
Bernard, laughing: I won't.
Bernard, being talked to by several people at once and a bit overwhelmed by the attention: Uh— I'm—
Damian, stepping between him and the socialites: Dowd. I require your assistance.
Bernard: Um— hi, Damian— with what?
Damian: You will see when we get there. Follow me, Drake's more tolerable half.
Bernard: Okay... so what do you need from me?
Damian: Nothing. You seemed to dislike the attention from all of the nosy adults over there. It was the most efficient way of extracting you from the situation.
Bernard: Oh. Thanks, Damian.
Damian: Tt, don't thank me yet, Dowd. I am still criticising your choice in romantic partners.
Bernard: Didn't you threaten me with a katana to not dampen Tim's mood in any way shape or form?
Damian: Slander. I said quote 'if you make Drake more annoying by breaking his heart I'm going to maim you.' I don't see how you got the message you did from that.
Bernard, grinning: Sure, Damian. Sure.
yeah even wolf likes kipo and she doesn't like anybody
I actually love this duo, deranged and infant is a top tier dynamic
There are a few 'Jason Stayed with the All Caste' stories floating around, but I think it might be funnier if an All Hands On Deck situation happened and Talia had to join him in Stabbing Cthulhu, so they dropped Damien off without explanation and Bruce only found out about Jason X months later when Robin II's old 'SOS World Ending Threat' code was entered into a com system somewhere.
Cue Damien crowing "I told you they didn't abandon me, they were preoccupied!"
i do very much like the idea of damian growing up under jason’s influence at the league and thus not giving a shit about being ‘the son of batman’. like he had jason, fuck that old guy who apparently donated sperm. so when talia sends damian to bruce to train so they could go off on other work its less damian being like ‘i am the blood son it is my right to eventually inherit the cowl’ and more like ‘…..:/ man ahki was right. batman aint shit’ and bruce is genuinely just so bewildered hes just ‘what. wait what.’
they’re training in the batcave and bruce is like ‘im going to show you this move on how to non-lethally take out an attacker’ and damian is texting jason from the other side of the room just ‘no thanks. i’ve been taught everything i need to know already.’
‘what do you mean by that’
‘when you run out of bullets, throw the gun into the crotch of whoever is left.’
‘excuse me?’
‘i was also told to say a cool catchphrase every time i cock the gun. ahki gave me a list to memorise.’
‘why do you have a gun’
bruce has no idea who this child is but he’s starting to get concerned about who the fuck raised him before he got to the manor. jason is cackling from 2 continents away
Some bsd ships dinamics