This Applies On All Sides Of Play.

This applies on all sides of play.

How to engage in orientation play/detrans/misgendering ethically

There's a lot of y'all into this kink, and not a lot of education going around. So, here's a little primer. This will focus on online play, because that's what I'm familiar with. First off, an introduction if you're unfamiliar.

What do all these mean?

All of these are kinks that play on expectations of gender and sexuality. They can use bioessentialist elements or simplistic definitions of gender and sexuality to create a framework for kink. This often includes aspects of degradation, dominance and submission, CNC, and more.

Some people may be playing at this and identify strongly as the identity they're playing at (lesbian, trans, ect), some people play at an identity they're not. Both are fine, but it's important to know what you're doing with any given partner.

How do I do it?

That depends on what you want. Some people just follow blogs and get off to it, and if that's all you do that's ok.

Next you'd have making a sideblog (or a new blog) and reblogging some content. Again, cool if you just want to do that.

Some people make text posts, but aren't really willing to engage in it. But where most issues come in is once you start letting people message you, send asks, ect.

How do I keep myself safe?

The most important part is to have a way to recenter after a session. This can fuck with your head, so aftercare, even if you're alone, is important.

Next, boundaries. There's two responsibilities here: following them well and making them clear. In some cases you would do this in a negotiation, but Tumblr can be different. Often, putting your boundaries in your blog in a pinned post or a bio is expected. This can include who you want to talk to you, what kind of negotiations you want before roleplaying or whatever, what play you're here for, what you don't want, what kind of "cold open" messages you want (messages without pre negotiations), ect.

If someone violates them, don't be afraid to speak up. Call a safeword, ghost them, block them if it's too bad. You don't have to take your boundaries being pushed or broken, no matter how long you've talked to them, what you promised, or how popular they are.

But I have no boundaries!

I get it, you're a depraved pervert and you want nothing more than to be fucked with. But most people have boundaries, even if you don't know them. If you find a boundary you didn't know you had, safeword and say something. You're no less of a perverted freak for it.

But even if you truly don't have hard lines in the sand of shit you wouldn't do, you probably have preferences, and it's important to voice that too. Maybe youre ok with being corrupted however, but you really want a dom to detransition you, with a bit of a mommy angle. Say that!!! Advocate for yourself.

Finally, again, block liberally. Don't take shit. And tell people what you want.