Summary: Loki gives the reader a sword for valentines day and teaches them how to use it. Thor mistakes the gift as proof of an engagement.
Note: Screw roses and chocolate, I want a sword as a declaration of love! Also, screw canon and characters dying; everyone is alive and happy and healed. Please let me know what you think, feedback makes me strong and keeps me motivated to write more! Have a great day :D
Words: 1817
It wasn’t the fact that someone had snuck into your room in the dead of night that bothered you. After all, FRIDAY would have alerted you if they meant harm and if, by some terrifying twist of genius, they’d evaded her scanners then they still hadn’t meant to hurt you as they’d left you sleeping peacefully through the night.
It wasn’t even that they’d tidied up - although that was rather strange. No, what bothered you was that, after silently cleaning your apartment, the intruder had left nothing but a long box on your table. No note, no explanation. Just a box, wrapped beautifully in dark green paper.
Naturally, you had FRIDAY run a few tests on the box to prove that it was safe to open. She confirmed that there were no dangerous trace readings or anything to be worried about but suggested caution nonetheless. Expecting some kind of biological weapon or hidden explosives, you were quite surprised to find a sword.
It was beyond beautiful. The blade was perfectly balanced, just the right side of heavy for you to comfortably lift and manoeuvre it, but deceptively sharp. (The first thing you’d done was run your fingers along the immaculate surface and cut yourself on the edge.) The hilt was like something from a fairytale. Made of a golden alloy of some kind, decorated with the most intricate swirling designs, you surmised it had to be centuries old at least; craftmanship of this quality simply didn’t exist nowadays.
It was everything you could have dreamed of in a sword - and you had dreamed of owning one for so long - but it didn’t explain why it was there or why your mysterious giftee wanted to remain anonymous.
However, you’d come to accept that life - your life, especially - rarely made much sense so, instead of worrying, you grabbed the sword and did what any normal person in your position would have done. (Probably; you’d spent so many years surrounded by super assassins and aliens that your definition of ‘normal’ was somewhat screwed.) You strode through the Compound like a proud soldier off to war, down to the training room where you intended to slash and stab the crap out of the training dummies.
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(ad. husband instead of wife but yes)
Dream Jobs :
— forest witch
— rich vampire's wife
— haunted bookstore owner
Word is Hollywood executives are mad about Elliot Page transitioning from a woman to a man…
Now they’ll have to pay him 20% more…
Husband just told me he’s going to sit in the car because he’s about to yell at someone on the phone and doesn’t want me to be upset by his yelling and I can’t decide if this is a little sad or kinda hilarious.
Ah, fine literature.
Don’t worry guys, Mario is normal now.
Chris Pratt is now the voice of Late Night Tumblr Posts.
I'm sorry.
i like this trait!
two perks i made about me and my bff under the cut
This really improved the quality of my day. By seeing how much worse it could be, I mean. And I think they meant a yaoi bunt.
Yaoi cocaine saga
https://twitter.com/jijijibli/status/1391829463630024704?s=19
“Why can’t you just listen for once?”
“I love you and I know you don’t think so, but you deserve to be loved.”
“I think I’m pregnant.”
“Wait. You’ve seriously never kissed anyone before?”
“We should get married.”
“No, you have a fever. Go lay back down and rest.”
“Is… Is this you trying to flirt with me?”
“So what if I am jealous? Would that change anything?”
“Oh… I thought this was a date.”
“I’m pregnant not helpless, stop worrying so much.”
“I knew you’d end up liking the cat.”
“Shh - I think the baby’s crying.”
“If you really loved me you’d get me *insert favorite food here* on your way home.”
“Hey, uh… where’s our kid?”
“I don’t need you.”
“Those glasses are adorable on you.”
“You need to stop being so damn cute.”
“You’re bleeding.”
“Shut up and let me kiss you.”
“Did… did the baby just kick?”
“I think I’d rather die.”
“If I don’t get my coffee soon someone is going to die.”
“I’m not scared of horror movies. I just… think they’re dumb”
“I thought I lost you.”
“You’re lucky you’re cute.”
“I’ve been in love with you for an embarrassingly long time.”
“I can hear you overthinking things from here. Stop it.”
“Hey, you’re okay. You were just having a nightmare.”
“Don’t scare me like that again.”
“I think my water just broke.”
“You have no idea how amazing you are, do you?”
“Sometimes I really hate you.”
“You’re sick. Let me take care of you.”
“I didn’t expect you to be so cuddly.”
“I’m sorry, your eyes are just really pretty and distracting.”
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Transmac, he/they/it, autistic af, mentally illin I do art and write shit My a03 is TheFandomHasRisen—pls check it out
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