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𝐏𝐎𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐍 – 𝟒𝟐

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐓𝐖𝐎: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐦

⤲ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐋𝐞𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

⤲ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞!𝐀𝐔, 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝!𝐀𝐔, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭

⤲ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟕𝐤

⤲ 𝐜𝐰: 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧𝐬, 𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭: 𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐜𝐯𝐦𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭, 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐛!𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠

Growing up there's only ever been one person in your life who you've never felt uncomfortable with: your older brother.

You can't remember a single time where things had gotten so awkward, weird or tense between the two of you to the point where the silence put you in a position of discomfort.

Until now.

In the past twentyfour hours, Sunghoon has only said two handful of words to you directly, something you're also not quite used to, yet it's the way his usually so calm and gentle gaze has turned stone cold and distant, which has been keeping you on the edge.

You've tried to initiate conversations by showing him things you thought he'd be interested in or bringing up old memroies feom your childhood, only to be met with complete silence and barely any eye contact.

For some reason, you're pretty sure your brother has somehow found out about your relationship, yet on the other side no matter what you think of, nothing makes sense to you, since you both had been extra careful to not be seen in public, so careful to the point where you barely talked to each other whenever you happened to be anywhere outside of your apartment.

However, everything about Sunghoon's behavior points to it and as you both finally make it out of Seoul's airport and into the fresh air, you've just come to accept his silence and the tension it comes with.

Every now and then you lift your head to look at him, yet your brother seems completely zoned out, his eyes staring at something in the distant, delicate face halfway hidden by a black face mask, while the other half is covered by a pair of sunglasses and his baseball hat.

You've never seen him like this and the worry has already taken complete control over your system, so much it actually feels like every breath you inhale has turned into a challenge and the heaviness on your chest is basically about to suffocate you.

The ride to his girlfriend's apartment is already doomed to be even worse than the one from a about a week ago and for the first time since you've started dating Heeseung, you actually dread seeing him. Not because you don't want to see him but because you're pretty sure his presence is gonna make the tension even less bearable.

By the time you two come to stand at the parking lot of the airport, Heeseung has already spotted you and as he turns on the engine of his car, his heartbeat feels heavy, yet seems to thrum in his throat at highspeed at the same time.

Never once in his life has he felt as nervous and anxious as he does right now, the lack of knowledge of what's going to happen and how life is going to be like after today slowly eating its way through his skin and right into his head.

He's tried his best to avoid every kind of thought about Sunghoon's possible reaction, but now that the day has actually arrived, he physically can't think about anything else.

The fact his anxiety has taken over every bit of his body to the point where the excitement about finally seeing you again has gone completely lost worries him; it's never gotten this bad and Heeseung genuinely doesn't know how to handle everything that's been going on in his body.

With every single step you feel like your heart is about to jump out of your throat and for some reason you can't get yourself to say anything, even as you watch your boyfriend get out of his car to help you two with your luggage.

To your surprise, your brother actually pulls his mask down to his chin, quietly thanking his best friend before he opens the door to the passenger seat, leaving you both absolutely no choice but to look at each other in complete silence.

Every now and then Heeseung tries his best to start a conversation the way you've been doing it before you gave up, until Sunghoon calmly leans his head back and some of the tension slowly starts leaving the small space of your boyfriend's car.

You try to distract yourself by texting your best friends, the girls wishing you good luck and Jungwon giving you his best words of affirmation to calm your racing mind, yet none of it seems to help.

And in that moment you finally put a name to the weird feeling in your stomach: helplessness.

You've been feeling absolutely helpless and lost ever since your brother has stopped talking to you and the longer you think about it, the more the realisation hits you, the thicker the veil of tears blurring your vision becomes.

You quickly take a deep breath, feeling glad and relieved as your eyes finally recognize the familiar streets of Ning's apartment building and for the first time in what feels like an eternity, you can't wait for this night to just be over.

Neither one of you says a single word up until you step foot into the young student's apartment, a place you had quickly found comfort in as every little detail reminds you of her warm heart and kind soul.

But even Ning's apartment seems to be filled with tension, the owner's big, usually so happy and excited eyes filled with worry and concern in a way that sends shivers down your spine and if it wasn't for the way she pulls you into her gentle arms, you would have probably left already, just to escape this gut wrenchingly tense atmosphere.

Heeseung and you both thank Ning with a tight lipped smile before you sit down on complete opposites sides of her dark couch, attentively observing your brother who has yet to take off his jacket.

By the time Sunghoon reaches for his face mask, your eyes curiously roam his face, only to take notice of his flushed, tear stained cheeks.

And even before he could utter a single word, the realisation hits you at full force.

"Bae Sumin."

Sunghoon's voice is shaky and hoarse, his eyes glossy and slightly reddened, the sight easily breaking your heart into thousands of pieces before your mind can even question the name he had decided to say as his first two words in almost twenty hours.

"I had to find out that you've been screwing behind my back through Bae fucking Sumin?"

His words are harsh and filled with wrath, disappointment and genuine confusion. And they don't fail to leave you absolutely speechless.

You can't get yourself to physically react; your whole body completely frozen as you try to process what's actually going on, it's actually the burning trail of wetness on your cheeks which pulls you back into reality.

"Say something", Sunghoon suddenly yells and the unexpected high volume of his voice makes you flinch.

"One of you. Fucking say something."

Neither one of you dares to look anywhere but your brother and as your eyes take in the sight of your usually so energetic and lively sibling oozing nothing but exhaustion and sadness, you can't hold back the soft sob from bubbling up your throat.

Heeseung on the other hand is still in utter shock.

His whole body has gone into standby and for a moment he's pretty sure he's about to pass out because of how heavy his heart feels.

All of a sudden memories of all the times his best friend, his soultwin, the one man who's been by his side through it all, had broken down in front of him as the burden on his tiny shoulders had become too much.

"Please, tell me that fucking bitch is lying", your brother pleads, his voice breaking at the end of his sentence and that's the moment where it becomes too much and the shame finally overwhelms you, "please tell me the two most important people in my life have not been lying straight into my fucking face for fucking weeks."

Silence.

His heartbreaking plea follows nothing but absolute silence.

"Wow", Sunghoon suddenly scoffs, tears streaming down his flushed cheeks as he throws his head back with a soft sob and quickly covers his face with his hands.

And as you finally get yourself to shift your gaze to look at your boyfriend, you quickly regret your decision as the sight of a pale Heeseung just adds onto the pain in your chest.

You can actually watch the way he's slowly zoning out to stop his brain from completely destroying his soul and save him from this pain, only to fail miserably.

"We've been meaning to tell you, Hoonie", you whisper and lower your head, swallowing the knot in your throat in hopes of making the process of breathing just a little bit easier.

"Yeah? Have you? When was that supposed to happen? At your fucking wedding day?"

Yet again the sudden raise of his voice startles you and for the first time in months you feel all those memories from your childhood coming back.

"N-No, we've just been waiting for the right mo-", "Shut the fuck up."

It's this particular outburst which manages to brutally pull Heeseung back into the moment and when his brain processes what had just happened, he feels a wave of shock break down over him, knocking every single breath out of his lungs.

If there's one thing Sunghoon has always been adamant about, it's to never, ever raise his voice at you, his precious sister. Not after you both grew up in a household where yelling and screaming had become normality. Not after your parents had refused to talk to you in a proper manner and always opted for the loudness of their words instead of the meaning.

"I can't fucking stand either one of you right now", he spits and runs both of his hands over his face, harshly wiping away his tears and you both watch the way his anger fades into disappointment, you feel yourself silently choking on your tears.

"Sunghoon, please–", "I told you to shut the fuck up. Take your fucking boyfriend and leave. Leave now, Y/N or I'm going hurt your feelings. And his."

His words are anything but a request, an actual threat which has your blood run cold and with big, tear filled eyes you look at Heeseung, who has already gotten onto his feet.

"Stop looking at me like that, Lee Heeseung", your brother suddenly spits, irritated as well as furious by your boyfriend's gaze and for a moment you're genuinely afraid he might actually get physical, "or I'm actually going to punch you in the face."

"You've been fucking my sister and didn't even have the fucking balls to tell me", Hoon presses through gritted teeth and at the way his hands are balled into tight fists you can tell just how much he's holding himself back.

"No", Heeseung finally says and to your surprise his voice is stable and strong, despite the thick tears running down his cheeks.

"What the fuck do you mean 'no'? So you haven't been screwing my little sister?"

"No, I haven't been screwing her behind your back. I've been in love with your sister for over a decade. All I did was finally act on it."

You simply can't hide the shock on your face.

You don't know what exactly you had expected from your boyfriend, especially considering his most recent mental state, but this was definitely not on the list.

Everything suddenly feels like a fever dream and you're convinced you're going to wake up every second now.

"Oh, fuck off", your brother just scoffs and rolls his eyes, "this is not about how much you love her and we both know it."

"Okay, so it's about us not telling you, right? Have you ever thought about why we chose not to tell you about it?"

A beat of silence follows Heeseung's words, which he gladly takes as an approval to continue.

"You knew what she means to me, yet you still made me promise and choose between the two of you in one of our most vulnerable moments. Yes, not telling you wasn't right, yet we never willingly decided this."

"Are you blaming me for your lack of guts, Heeseung? Are you being fucking serious right now?"

Sunghoon seems shocked and genuinely confused, his thick brows furrowed and lips pressed into a thin line as your boyfriend takes two whole steps closer to stand right in front of him.

"You're my fucking brother", Heeseung suddenly throws back at him and you can tell how badly he wants to burst into tears, yet manages to stay calm just enough, "I'd fucking die for you. If you asked me to go and jump off of a fucking bridge right now, I'd do it without hesitation. You saved my life and nothing I will ever do will be enough to show you my gratitude."

A shaky sigh falls past his lips as he lowers his gaze, the exhaustion and tiredness of the last few days finally catching up on him and a weird sense of pride floads your system.

"I was the one who couldn't tell you because yes, I didn't have the fucking balls to tell you that I broke the promise I gave all these years ago, Sunghoon. I –", Heeseung inhales slowly, greedily sucking in every bit of oxygen he can get to ease the racing of his heart in his tight chest, "I didn't tell you because I couldn't – can't bear the thought of losing my dearest friend."

And as those words leave his lips, you finally let out the breath you didn't know you were holding in, only to choke on it at the sight of your tall brother suddenly bursting into tears.

"Why didn't you just t-talk to me, Heeseung? Why? Did you really think I'd make you choose between us, break up with her and breakk her heart when you're the only man on this planet who's worthy of her in every way possible? The only fucking human being I ever trusted when it came to her, her safety and happiness?"

Heeseung physically can't get himself to look at his best friend as he realises his mistake, too hurt and broken by his own decisions and thoughts, his lack of trust and faith in his closest friend and only person who has never left his side.

"I – was just so scared of losing you, Hoonie", your boyfriend whispers and looks away, his gentle cries quickly turning into wholehearted sobs as he breaks down and you can't do anything about it.

"So you decided to go and do it all behind my fucking back?"

Those words elicit yet another loud cry from your boyfriend and you hate how helpless you feel, knowing you could just go up to him and take him into your arms, yet refusing as you force yourself to give them the space they need.

This isn't about you. This is about them and their bond, their friendship and their communication.

"I'm sorry", Heeseung breathes and for a moment you're actually scared that things might never go back to how they used to be just a day ago, the one worry behind all of your boyfriend's sleepless nights.

"You broke my fucking heart", Sunghoon says and finally averts his gaze to meet yours, didappointment and pain lingering in the usual softness of his brown eyes, "and I really can't look at you two right now. Please just leave."

"Hoonie...", yet again your brother refuses to give you the privilege of finishing your sentence.

"Please, Y/N", his voice is a mere whisper and the way he can barely get himself to say your name easily shatters your already broken heart into yet another set of million pieces, "don't make me turn into my biggest nightmare. Please."

All you can do is nod in defeat, the mental, physical and emotional exhaustion too overwhelming to leave room for any discussion and with a soft sigh you finally stand up and actually approach your boyfriend.

Heeseung wordlessly turns away from your brother, his head still lowered and when you realise he also refuses to look at you, your heart tightens in your chest and subconsciously you take his face into your hands and almost force him to meet your gaze.

You don't say anything. The words lingering on the tip of your tongue but not a single one making it over the edge and into a proper sentence.

"Time", Sunghoon suddenly sighs and has both of your gazes shift to him, "I just need time."

And that's the last thing he says before he makes his way past his teary eyed girlfriend standing in the doorframe, his disappearance following the sound of a door falling shut behind him and for some reason you actually feel like breathing has actually become easier again.

"Did you two hear that?" Ning's soft voice sends chills down your body and yet again, you can't get yourself to verbally respond to her.

"Everything's going to be okay. Please just give him the time and space he needs, okay?"

And for some reason you don't have it in you to doubt her words of reassurance as your brother's demand keeps replaying in your head.

Your brother's girlfriend pulls you into a tight hug and whispers just the right amount of reassuring words into your ear before she wipes your tears away, gives your boyfriend an encouraging pat on the back and then goes to literally pick up the pieces you two had broken.

Heeseung doesn't say anything to you and for a moment you can't help but wonder if your presence is too much for him, only for your chest to fill with warmth when he reaches for your hand and then goes to help you with your coat.

The drive to your apartment is just as quiet, the silence making it feel like the past hour never happened and to your surprise, neither one of you has shed another tear after walking through the door.

You don't know why, yet the more you think about the expression on your brother's face as he asked for time, the more hope fills your chest. Sunghoon has always been easy to read for the both of you and you can tell that Heeseung seems to have similar thoughts, since a weird, unexpected calmness seems to linger in his body you can't quite put a name on.

Yet you're still pretty sure he's going to drop you off as the lack of verbal communication between the two of you does nothing to ease the anxious thoughts on your mind. You'd never blame your boyfriend for needing some time to himself away from you after being the reason for the roughest patch he had ever experienced with his closest friend.

As soon as Heeseung's car comes to a stop in front of your apartment building, you lift your head and quietly thank him, trying your best to shoot him a soft smile, only for your bottom lipp to give away how heartbroken you are, making you get out as quick as possible.

You don't hear your boyfriend's confused questions about your behavior, all you can focus on is to open the back of his car, take your suitcase and finally get into the comfort of your own four walls to break down the way you've been dying to do for the past hour.

Heeseung just watches the way you nervously fiddle with your luggage, his brows furrowed in confusion until he spots two tears finding their way down your cheeks and it's then that he realises what your brain has made you believe.

Within a moment Seung comes to stand next to you, easily hovering over your frame as he reaches for your suitcase and closes the trunk of his car, but doesn't let go of it just yet.

"Baby, look at me, please", he whispers softly, his words surprising you and with wide, teary eyes you look up at him and realise just how much you've missed him these past few days.

"Did you really think I was going to just drop you off? We haven't seen each other in three days and you came back to...this. I'd be a fucking loser if I let you sleep by yourself tonight."

You're not quite sure if it's the general exhaustion after these past few days, probably even weeks and months at this point, or if it's particularly because of tonight but without even missing a beat you throw yourself into the arms of your boyfriend and bury your face in his chest with a soft sob of relief.

Heeseung sighs, your little noises of pain and exhaustion sending chills down his body, tightening his chest as he pulls you closer to his body to make you feel as safe and protected as possible.

He knows you're blaming yourself for the current situation between him and your brother, when there's nobody to blame at all. Mistakes and wrong decisions were made, lack of communication and so many more factors which have played into tonight's event, but most importantly all of them were human things to do, something Heeseung has finally come to accept.

Usually he'd be blaming himself as well, yet this time his brain seems to go easy on him, even if his heart still hurts the more he thinks about the look of betrayal and disappointment on his best friend's face, he doesn't feel as devastated and lost as he had expected himself to.

For the first time in his life he's actually quite sure things are going to be okay, even if it might take some time.

None of this makes any of it easier, to say the least, but definitely more bearable.

By the time you finally walk into your own home, a wave of relief washes over you and without giving it another thought you shed yourself of your outerwear after turning on the heater. Heeseung carefully watches you, his eyes never once leaving your frame and you hate how that's all you need to feel your skin heating up, your brain already slut shaming you for making such a normal thing so sexual.

So, with a soft sigh you turn away and slowly walk into your bedroom, the sight finally giving you the comfort you've been craving for the past few days.

"Do you wanna talk about tonight?"

Heeseung's sudden question startles you and with furrowed brows you turn around and meet his soft gaze, loving the way his bambi eyes are still glossy and teary from earlier. In moments like these everything else becomes irrelevant, nothing but the love of your life matters and you can't help but feel genuinely proud of him when you remember all the things he had said to your brother.

"Only if you want to", you reply calmly and cock your head to the side with a gentle smile, the tension between the two of you sending chills iver your body and you're genuinely confused why your body would opt for such sensual reactions in response to emotions as heavy as the ones you're currently experiencing.

"I know I'm going to have a panic attack if I think about it too much so I think it's better if we just head to sleep, sweet girl", Heeseung whispers and gives you a soft kiss on the forehead his big hands gently caressing your arms before he takes your face into his hands and greedily lets his eyes roam your soft features.

"You're the most beautiful human being I've ever laid my eyes on", he suddenly says and leaves you absolutely speechless, the genuine honesty in the soft brown of his eyes easing the tension in your muscles.

"And I know it won't always be easy and all happy tears, but I promise I'm going to try my best to become the man you deserve", Heeseung just continues as he notices the way your lips part in surprise, something he's come to love ever since the first time he left you at a lack of words, "and no matter how many times I joke about it, I'm always completely serious when I talk about making you my wife one day. You're the light of my life and until the day you tell me to go, I'm going to give my everything to make you happy."

"Seungie...", your voice breaks, hot tears streaming down your cheeks as you notice the thick veil blurring his own vision, yet he doesn't let you speak just yet. A soft shake of his head stopping the words from rolling off your tongue.

"I'm bound to make mistakes and hurt your feelings, I just hope you know I'd never, ever do it intentionally and ask you to be understanding. Your heart is so pure, so soft and so gentle, I have yet to figure out how to handle it but again, not a day will go by where I won't do everything in my power to make you feel as loved and appreciated, adored and desired as you deserve."

And as his words fill every bit of your heart with the sweetness of comfort, warmth and the feeling of security, you simply can't hold yourself back anymore.

Before either one of you can say another word, you throw your arms around his neck and pull him as close to your body as possible, the lack of personal space exactly what you've been craving for the past two weeks.

Because despite handling Heeseung's physical distance and reluctance better than expected, you couldn't help but feel rejected, your brain punishing you for all the times you had dared to unintentionally tiptoe on the line of his personal comfort as he was trying his best to maintain his mental stability, so hearing him still be as in love and devoted to you as he was in the beginning definitely gives you the reassurance you've subconsciously been longing for.

You two still cuddled and held each other, a few kisses here and there right before Heeseung fell asleep in your arms after a long day, yet the sudden switch in tension between the two of you had you worried. Not because you couldn't live without it but because the fear of not being enough for him anymore had quickly managed to consume you.

After your little conversation about it all yesterday, you felt a lot lighter already, yet these words and the feeling of his body so close to yours was exactly what you needed.

"Thank you, Seungie", you whisper against the soft skin of his neck, embracing the strong hold of his arms around your body, "thank you so much."

You have no idea how long the two of you just stand there holding into each other, yet once you slowly pull away, you notice the sleepiness in his reddened eyes, his habit of blinking just a little too often giving away just how tired he is and that's when you realise it's probably been a good three nights since your boyfriend has had a proper night time sleep.

"How about you go and wash up, my love? I'll just give Jungwon a quick call and then get myself bed ready."

Heeseung just nods, yet looks at you for a little longer than necessary and as he studies your facial expressions, there seems to be this certain emotion lingering in your gentle gaze, he struggles to read and name. But before your boyfriend can even realise that it's the desire you're trying to hide, you give him a quick kiss on the cheek and pull away, leaving him in your bedroom as you basically throw yourself onto your balcony to get some of much needed air for your deprived lungs.

You feel like a psychopathic nymphomaniac for actually thinking about sex on a day like this, only an hour after one of the most heartbreaking things you all have experienced and that's why you're just going to wait until Heeseung's firmly asleep to take care of this stupid problem.

Part of your brains hoped that you two could use physical intimacy as a way to comfort each other but the longer you think about it, the heavier you want to cry because you simply can't believe your brain would do this to you.

With a soft sigh you dial your best friend's number, knowing the sound of his voice is going to do wonders to your messy brain and heavy heart and as soon as Jungwon picks up your call, you get comfortable on one of the little chairs on your balcony and just start crying.

Telling your best friend everything about your brother and his reaction feels relieving as it gives you the opportunity to reflect on your own feelings, rather than the need to focus on everyone else's the way you usually do and you physically can't get a single word out for a good minute, until you finally manage to catch your breath and just continue.

Jungwon doesn't say anything, just hums in approval every time you make a brief pause to gather your throughts to let you know he's actively listening, yet refusing to speak as he doesn't want you to hear the breaking of his own voice in response to your heartbreaking evening.

You don't realise how long you're talking to your best friend, your tears long dried down as you feel the coldness of the night finally overwhelm you as you thank Wonie for everything and promising to keep him updated before finally making your way back into the warmth of your apartment and straight into your bathroom.

As soon as you step into your bedroom, finally all washed up and ready to head to sleep, you're met with the sight of your boyfriend comfortably seated with his back against the headboard, glasses on his nose, strong torso exposed to your hungry eyes and just as you're about to lower your gaze just a little further, the sudden sound of his soft sob pulls you back into reality. You try your best to hide the shame and embarrassment as Heeseung does his best to do the same with his tears from you and with a soft pout on your lips you quickly get onto the other side of the bed and kneel right next to him, pulling your boyfriend into your arms and loving the way he finds instant comfort in your hold.

"I'm sorry", he whispers and wraps his arms around your waist, pushing face deeper into your neck to hide his embarrassment, "it kinda just hit me."

"It's okay, Baby, you can cry as much as you need to", you reply calmly and gently play with his slightly wet strands of hair, the smell of your bodywash and shampoo hitting your nose, making you smile softly, "what can I do to make you feel better hm? Do you want me to run you a bath and wash your back or just hold you? We could watch a movie and have some tea if you feel like it."

"Can you just sit in my lap for a little bit? I wanna hold you as close as possible", Heeseung whispers and lifts his head to look up at you, his cheeks and the tip of his pretty nose flushed, eyes red and glossy, a sight so beautiful you feel bad for thinking such thoughts in a moment this vulnerable but without hesitation you nod softly.

In no time you find yourself comfortably seated in his lap, his face yet again buried in your neck, strong arms firmly wrapped around your body and you love the way you can feel the warmth of his body through the thin fabric of your camisole.

You quickly lose track of time as you hold the love of your life in your arms and listen to his soft cries and sobs, knowing how many emotions and thoughts he's battling right now yet having absolutely no way to help with them.

With one of your hands gently caressing his back as the other plays woth his hair, you try your best to stay strong for the both of you, too physically tired and mentally exhausted to handle your own sadness anymore.

By the time a wave of sleepiness hits you, Heeseung's cries have slowly died down and from the way his hands are gently roaming your body you can tell he's about to lay on his back and finally give you both the rest you oh so desperately need.

Yet, what you don't expect is the sudden feeling of his hands finding a rather firm grip on your hips as a deep growl makes its way out of his sore throat.

"I feel like a fucking animal", he suddenly says and with your brows furrowed in confusion you pull away just enough to meet his gaze.

"Wha-", "I feel like a fucking animal because for some stupid reason my brain has decided to distract me with thoughts of your moans and the way you always look so pretty when you cum around my cock. I'm so sorry, Baby."

His words hit you like a fist straight in the face and none of that previous sleepiness is anywhere to be found.

With wide eyes and parted lips, you try your best to hide the way your body is currently drowning in your arousal in response to his boldness, not realising your lack of a verbal answer has your boyfriend on the edge.

"I'm sorry, princess, you don't deserve this", he whispers and basically forces himself to pull his hands away, yet you're faster and quickly reach for his wrists to keep them exactly where they are.

"No", you breathe and slowly start rocking your hips against his semi hard cock, your thin panties as well as his boxer briefs doing absolutely nothing as the heat from both of you meets each other through the fabric, "please, just keep going."

"But–", and this time you're the one to cut him off as you almost forcefully press your lips against his, capturing them in a hungry kiss, the one you've been daydreaming about for who knows how long at this point.

Heeseung doesn't hesitate as he kisses you back. Hunger, want and animalistic desire oozing from every single one of his touches as he grabs a fistful of your ass and grinds your hips harder against his own.

You can barely keep your moans and whimpers back as you try to keep up with him, the kiss quickly becoming rather messy and sloppy to the point where you slowly start losing yourself in the sweet taste of his saliva coating the muscle of your tongue and your whole mouth.

"That's my good girl", Heeseung grunts and kisses his way to your jaw and down your neck, sucking the soft skin into his mouth as he finally allows himself to indulge in your dweet noises and rhe feeling of your wet panties against his rock hard cock.

"I can't wait any longer, Seungie", you whimper and throw your head back as waves of pleasure rock through your body with every single touch against your sensitive clit.

"I promise I'll let you eat me out for as long as you want after this, just please", you beg softly, "let me sit on your cock first."

"F-Fuck." The profanity is drowned by the deep grunt that follows and Heeseung feels like he's actually about to cum in his boxers from your words alone.

With his brain clouded by pleasure and the deep urge to satisfy you, Heeseung just reaches for the drawer of your nightstand, only for you to stop him with glossy eyes and swollen lips from all the abuse of your own teeth.

"Just this once", your voice is a mere whisper, your request bold and dangerous, tiptoeing on the edge of a line you both promised not to cross, "I want you to fuck me raw just this once, please."

"Baby...", Heeseung has never ever wanted anything as bad as to just fuck you raw and stuff you to the brim with his cum but it's too risky, you're not on the pill and the possible consequences of a lust filled decision manage to hold him back.

"I'll just take a plan B", you quickly say and reach down between your bodies to finally pull his cock out from the little slip in his boxer briefs, stroking his length with skilled flicks of your wrist before pulling your own panties to the side and calmly grinding yourself against him.

Heeseung can feel every bit of responsibility and rational thinking leave his body as soon as he feels the wetness of your cunt against his bare cock, a feeling so delicious, so sweet and surreal, yet so dangerous it has him choke on his own spit.

"Or you could just pull out and cum in my mouth", you suddenly suggest and never in his life has he seen a sight so innocent yet lewd, your words building a complete contrast to the softness in your wide eyes and with his gaze firmly locked in yours, all he can do is nod.

"Lay back, Seungie", you say and place your hands flat against his soft chest, your fingers gently grazing the soft metal in his nipples and your cunt clenching in response to his breathy whimpers, "let me do the work, yeah? I just want you to enjoy yourself and forget."

And who on this sweet earth could ever reject an offer this sweet?

Without hesitation, Heeseung just does as he's told, his big hands finding home on your hips as he lifts his head just enough to eatch the way you're calmly lining the tip of his cock up with your wet entrance right before you start sinking down on his hard length in the slowest, most agonising pace ever.

Your high pitched moans meet his deep grunts in the thick air of your bedroom and with each inch, you feel your eyes rolling further into the back of your head; the lack of barrier between his cock and your tight cunt leaving you absolutely breathless.

You have no idea how long it actually takes you to take all of him, yet by the time you're comfortably seated on his cock, you can already taste your sweet relief on the tip of your tongue.

"Fuck, princess", Heeseung grunts and reaches for your pretty tits, kneading and groping the flesh before he pulls on your sensitive nipples and tries his best to move his hips, "fuck me. Go ahead, pretty girl, make me proud."

And that's the only thing you need to hear for your hips to start moving slowly. It doesn't take long until you're nothing but a whimpering mess, the feeling of being filled to the brim sending you into the best corners of your sweet pleasure and every time your eyes find their way back to your boyfriend's face, your cunt starts spasming around his cock.

But who could blame you when you've got a completely fucked out Lee Heeseung at your mercy; pretty lips swollen and parted, grunts and moans slowly turning into whimpers as he tries his best to handle the feeling of your spongy walls hugging his hock in just the right ways, bambi eyes constantly rolling back and yet filled with nothibg but love and adoration whenever he looks at you.

"I'm so close already, Baby", he whimpers and throws his head back into your pillow, his grip tightening on your hips as he meets your gentle thrusts with his own, chasing his high in the most breathtaking way possible and without missing a beat, you let your hand slide down your body to find your clit and rub harsh circles into the sensitive bundle of nerves.

The urge to cum with him suddenly overwhelms you and as the coil in your lower stomach starts tightening more and more, you watch the way Heeseung's eyes widen in panic and before you can do anything, your boyfriend lifts you off of his cock and lets out a loud moan as he cums all over your as well as his own stomach.

You don't even realise that you stopped the movements of your fingers, the sudden emptiness leaving you absolutely speechless and Heeseung would be dammed if he left his precious girl in a state like that.

So with a soft hiss and a few words of praise, Heeseung moves you to rest against his cock before he slowly starts guiding your hips against his length, making sure to have his sensitive tip hit your pretty clit with every single movement.

You cum all over the length of his cum within just a minute, your sweet relief hitting you out of nowhere and drowning you in its waves.

With a soft whimper of his name you finally break down and bury your face in his hot neck, your whole body shaking from the intensity of your orgasm the way you've been craving it for longer than you'd ever admit.

"I love you so much, princess", Heeseung whispers against your temple, littering your cheeks and shoulders in soft kisses as his hands caress your back softly, "my first and only love."

After a much needed bath you find yourself firmly nestled in your boyfriend's strong arms, an embrace which has never failed to provide you with the comforting feelings of security and protection and as you both finally calm down from the overwhelming rollercoaster of emotions, Heeseung can't help but lose himself in his thoughts again. Yet this time they don't break but heal his heart because he falls asleep with you in his arms and the mental image of your future together, thoughts and wishes he'd forever protect with everything he has.

And as he slowly slips into the peaceful state of sleep, he knows everything is going to be okay as long as you're by his side.

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 — 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

(A/N: And it finally happened. Sunghoon finally knows. I really hope I could live up to your expectations with this ngl I'm SO nervous 😭 I actually dont know what to say exceot tysm for all the love and support. I can't wait to read your guys' thoughts and feelings about this chapter and am sending everyone so much love and kisses. reblogs and feedback is always appreciated!!!🥺💗🧸)

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