“I Can Never Fight For Myself, But, For Others, I Can Kill.”

Oof. Sorry man, I quit this job like thirty seconds ago.

corporate is telling me that I have to kiss you on the cheek and also go to the movies with you 

A reminder to myself and others: It’s important to let yourself rest when you need it 💙

So ... 2017 was the year of Tide pods. 2018 was all about inappropriate shooting ranges with moving targets to practice on. 2019 is all about being the moving target

When you walk behind your group cuz u walm too fast but u end up kicking their heels

I've got two facts. First, an adult raccoon can fit into a hole 6 inches across.

Second, the human anus can stretch up to 9 inches across.

TLDR: Adult raccoons can fit in human anuses.

Hey gaud, Tell me a fact that'll haunt me for the rest of my days

Female hyenas mate & give birth through a 7-inch pseudopenis 

One reblog to restore the balance

Mods are asleep post forbidden tits

I didn't know I needed to know this.

@biggest-gaudiest-patronuses you should have this too

The CIA found Bible Black on Osama bin Laden's hard drives

It's an Arabic dub of Bible Black and most of the facility staff were native Pashto speakers so it's incredibly likely that this was Osama bin Laden's personal futa hentai

I don't know how to continue going on with my life now that this information is in my head

Coconut has hair. Coconut has flesh. Coconut has milk. Coconut is a mammal.

This sounds like fun

EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO REBLOGS THIS WILL GET THE FOLLOWING IN THEIR INBOX.

A BRIEF ORIGIN STORY

A SUPERPOWER OR THREE, MAYBE FOUR DEPENDING

A SUPERHERO OR VILLAIN NAME

YOU MIGHT ALSO GET AN ARCHNEMESIS WHO HAS REBLOGGED THIS ALREADY

AND YES I MEAN EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO REBLOGS THIS.