Save Your Kitties!! #deathtopurina

I'm currious tumblr what is your phones lockscreen and/or background?

if there is more than one of these categories present please just choose one. for example if you have a loved one and a pet in the pic choose either the loved one or the pet option.

please reblog for a bigger sample size!

Guuuyyzzz, be my friends

Reblog this if its okay for your followers to introduce themselves to you.

You ever read smut that was so well written it had you feelin like you the one that got fucked

FELL IN LOVE WITH A GIRLLLLLL

Reblog cause I love cats

based on extensive observation, I believe that my cats have only a tenuous grasp on how much of my body is “me”

It’s like, Head: definitely Big Friend, note eyes and noise-hole.

Hands: 90% certainty of Big Friend, 10% possibility of toy. comprised of two main parts, the rubby-rubby and the wriggly-scritchers. does Big Friend control them with her mind? the mechanism is unclear.

Arms, aka “Cuddle Snakes”: do these help Big Friend’s hands from getting lost? good place to sit.

Torso: ??? we have no idea what this is. smells like Big Friend but serves no observable purpose. treat as terrain.

Legs, see: “The Lap Conundrum”: 25% chance of Big Friend, totally uninteresting. WHEN LAP: 90% chance of Big Friend, excellently warm. where does the lap go? our finest cat scientists seek the answer to this mystery, but no breakthroughs as of yet.

Feet, aka “Twitchy-Kickers”: 10% chance of Big Friend, 90% chance of foe. all attempts to communicate have ended in hostility. Destroy on sight.

Thank you. This is exactly how I feel. Stuff like this is the reason I get on Tumblr, to see I'm not alone on these things, that I'm not a freak, and that there are other people who feel the same. F#?$ other people and their rules about what's "normal" or not.

Sorry if that got a little weird, I'm just bein' honest here.

Does anyone else have that one fanfiction that they’re dying to to write but it’s like, mega long and basically a whole universe, and then you’ve got head-cannons to go with that fanfiction and like fanfiction to go with that fanfiction an back-stories for every character and you get frikin’ feels about that universe and it’d be the most coolest thing if you could just be bothered to frikin’ write it.

Tali is my spirit animal

Today I shut my cat in the fridge.

Okay, so here’s the deal.  Tali loves the fridge.  I don’t know why, but every single time we open it, she bolts for it and jumps in.  She crawls into the back of the fridge and nestles int the smallest little corner she can.  Now naturally, my biggest fear has been that I’ll close the fridge without knowing she’s in there.  And of course, today I went to go grab my Brita filter to pour myself some water.  I wasn’t really watching the fridge, and I just opened and closed it really quickly to put the Brita back while I was looking somewhere else.  And then I looked around and realized that Tali had been in the kitchen, and now she was nowhere in sight.  So immediately, I throw open the fridge door, and there is is, hanging out in the back, content as can be.

your opponent is the most selected option. please don't spoil anything in the tags

Holy fudging cow poop, what the H E double hockey stick, this frazzlin' killed me. You have no idea the kind of will power it is taking me not to matamorphasize into a sailor and use every word my mother would've beat my buttocks raw if she heard when I was little.

This sounds like the fanfiction 13-year-old me read when she was a horny teenager for the very first time. But seriously, I know this is really messed up, but... am I the only one who wants to know how this ended? No? Okay, I'm trash, I get it.

I’ll never not be amused by the fact that I can drop the words “crucifix nail nipples” into a conversation and some of you who have been with me since the livejournal days will join me in the flashbacks, screaming and crying all the way.