based on extensive observation, I believe that my cats have only a tenuous grasp on how much of my body is “me”
It’s like, Head: definitely Big Friend, note eyes and noise-hole.
Hands: 90% certainty of Big Friend, 10% possibility of toy. comprised of two main parts, the rubby-rubby and the wriggly-scritchers. does Big Friend control them with her mind? the mechanism is unclear.
Arms, aka “Cuddle Snakes”: do these help Big Friend’s hands from getting lost? good place to sit.
Torso: ??? we have no idea what this is. smells like Big Friend but serves no observable purpose. treat as terrain.
Legs, see: “The Lap Conundrum”: 25% chance of Big Friend, totally uninteresting. WHEN LAP: 90% chance of Big Friend, excellently warm. where does the lap go? our finest cat scientists seek the answer to this mystery, but no breakthroughs as of yet.
Feet, aka “Twitchy-Kickers”: 10% chance of Big Friend, 90% chance of foe. all attempts to communicate have ended in hostility. Destroy on sight.
thats good
No in between. Reblog if you vote pleas
Made my day.
Rebloging for the next time I need cheesy pick up lines
Are you an interior decorator? Because when I saw you, the entire room became beautiful.
Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.
Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
If I were a stop light, I’d turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.
If you were a vegetable you’d be a cute-cumber.
There are people who say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Apparently, none of them have ever been in your arms.
Are you an orphanage? Cause I wanna give you kids.
Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out.
I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I’m going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
I’m not staring at your boobs. I’m staring at your heart.
Can I take your picture to prove to all my friends that angels do exist?
Your body is 65% water and I’m thirsty.
My doctor says I’m lacking Vitamin U.
Can I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.
If I were a cat I’d spend all 9 lives with you.
Smoking is hazardous to your health… and baby, you’re killing me!
You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.
Do you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world!
You know I’d like to invite you over, but I’m afraid you’re so hot that you’ll skyrocket my air-conditioning bill.
If I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
Are you a campfire? Cause you are hot and I want s'more.
I bet you $20 you’re gonna turn me down.
I like Legos, you like Legos, why don’t we build a relationship?
Would you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?
There’s only one thing I want to change about you, and that’s your last name.
Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!
Can I borrow your cell phone? I need to call animal control, because I just saw a fox!
I’m no organ donor but I’d be happy to give you my heart.
Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
You see my friend over there? [Point to friend] He wants to know if YOU think I’M cute.
Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.
Are you my phone charger? Because without you, I’d die.
Are you a cat? Cause you are purrrfect
You know how they say skin is the largest organ on the human body? Not in my case.
My lips are like skittles. Wanna taste the rainbow?
I have an “owie” on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?
Hey baby, I must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!
Do I know you? Cause you look just like my next girlfriend/boyfriend.
Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
Is it hot in here or is it just you?
I blame you for global warming… your hotness is too much for the planet to handle!
You’re single. I’m single. Coincidence? I think not.
Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.
Baby, you’re so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.
I hope there’s a fire truck nearby, cause you’re smokin’!
I just got dumped, and I think that you could make me feel better.
If you were a burger at McDonalds, you’d be McGorgeous.
Your hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you.
You’re so hot, I could bake cookies on you.
Is your car battery dead? Because I’d like to jump you.
I’m lost. Can you tell me which road leads to your heart?
It’s a good thing I wore gloves today. Otherwise you’d be too hot to handle.
I didn't even know this was a thing, but Supernatural is love/life, so I gotta keep track of this $!#? now
You stole that from Robin in Young Justice
I’ve been overwhelmed. I’ve been underwhelmed… Have I ever been whelmed?
I would buy these painting for any amount of money
Ten Major Artists:
Wong Wong & Lulu
Pepper examining himself before commencing a self-portrait
Pepper’s self-portrait
Tiger the spontaneous reductionist
Misty goes off the wall
Minnie, the abstract expressionist
Minnie’s Reindeer in Provence, 1992.
Smokey painting after an hour in the catnip patch
Smokey at work
Ginger’s Stripped Bare Birds, 1992.
Princess, the elemental fragmentist
Charlie, the peripheral realist
Huh, this happened once, and my brother just shoved his fingers in his mouth and pulled it out. The dog did not enjoy it, but he stopped choking
Its always good to know what to do when your baby is in danger.
Couldn't pass up that Avatar reference
is “chai” a TYPE of tea??! bc in Hindi/Urdu, the word chai just means tea