📓 What Do You Think Rex Bitches About Constantly?

do you see this shit my liege

Modern AU where Obi-Wan is teaching a class (probably linguistics or poetry but NOT classic lit miss me with classic lit Obi ew, but possibly a few others possible but not for this AU cause he needs both a classroom and an office connected) and he’s one of those professors that has their office connected in the back (some schools do it and consider it nicer on the faculty) and halfway through the lecture the door to his office pushes open (him being the only one not noticing) and a small four year old tumbles out and goes up to him, handing him up a snack pack for him to open. He takes the pack without pausing, starts to open it, pauses… looks down… and his left eye twitches. ‘Leia where did you come from?’ *toddler points to his office* ‘did your dad put you in there? Where’s your brother.’ ‘Dad had an emergency PHD meeting with Doctor Windu. Luke’s sleeping.’

Obi-Wan sighs, counts to ten, and opens up the snack pack for the kiddo, pats her on the head and calls her his secret favorite (he tells both of them that constantly) and sends her back to her brother.

This incident is never talked about during that class but since she mentioned a dad who’s getting a PHD who put her and her brother in there, AND the students know he’s gay and has a cute partner, they just assume it’s his kids. Someone asks him about his kids next class and he thinks they saw Cody dropping him off with Mara (off to preschool) and Ahsoka (off to her classes as a sophomore) and answers about them very honestly.

There are so many mistakes being made. When they see Anakin with ‘Obi-Wan’s’ kids one day and ask him about him since they saw the kids in class one day, and Ani mentions that the academic thing runs in the family even tho they’re all adopted. This just cements it for them that Anakin and Obi-Wan are married with adopted twins.

Actually. No. Their generation was the one that partially broke the tradition. Whoops.

Boga likes Cody pass it on

I was in line at Aldi and this girl with two toddlers in front of me had her card declined and she looked so fucking sad and said “let me call my husband real quick” and it was only 18 dollars, so I just paid for it, and she was very sweet and then as she walked off, the lady behind me said `”You know that was probably a scam, right?” and like, even if it was, like what a sad fucking scam, right? 18 dollars at the Aldi. If you’re “scamming” me for some Tyson chicken and apple juice and cauliflower, then just take my fucking money. 

“A scam” people are fucking wild.  

 the only criticism of millennials l accept

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Interviewer: So, how would you describe your relationship with your Jedi?

Rex: *long, long, long, long sigh* Idiot siblings.

Cody: don't get me started

Rex: to clarify, I'm not the idiot.

Colt: *wordlessly pulls up sleeve to reveal "I-heart-Mom" tattoo on his bicep*

Cody: I have sympathy for Rex because Skywalker just DOES things but Kenobi, he, he thinks things through, and then he STILL does those things even if they're HORRIBLE IDEAS—

Fox: *chugs coffee, slams cup down so hard it breaks* bold of you to assume I have a Jedi

Gree: Not family, but definitely close friends.

Cody: —reckless, ridiculously self-sacrificing, no regard for his own safety—

Grey, dead serious, no hesitation: caleb is my son

Whatever clones are in Master Tapal's battalion: *chanting, one of them holds Cal up like Simba* BABY BOY BABY BOY BABY BOY

Cody: —can't even leave him alone for two minutes because he goes and loses his lightsaber in the middle of a battle—

Ponds: I'd like to say we're blood-brothers bound through the heat of battle because that sounds neat, but honestly, Master Windu and I, we're—we're fire-forged coworkers.

Wolffe: I can neither confirm nor deny that I bought Master Plo a Galaxy's Best Dad mug

Cody, staring vacantly into space: I'm so underpaid

Bly: no comment

Does Narinder need a bath?

So so bad (I lost the plot on this one gays)

For the longest time Narinder refuses to allow anyone to touch him but at the same time suffers mobility issues preventing him from taking care of himself.

Anyway if I keep doing this shit the aromantic council is gonna show up at my doorstep and revoke my right to practice. My demons are winning rn.

Humans are eldritch. They can sing a thousand voices, and they only started space exploration after more than two hundred years of trying to fix their own sick planet. They are guilt-driven, reckless and incredibly terrifying. They scare themselves for fun, they have deadly sports, and they are willing to almost die just to see if something can work.

No other intelligent species we know does that. No one almost killed their entire planet for the sake of profits, and no one discovered they could sing it back to life. No one is fascinated by unknown and terrific creatures that would certainly destroy everything and everyone, much less create art about the mere idea of it. No one dedicates so much of their craft for incomprehensible arts that can only be felt.

The entire universe’s medicine has changed since they arrived. We had to discover ways of erasing memory, of calming someone in the blink of an eye, because human art can make someone so sick they might never recover from it. Rumours spread, and humans were now feared. Everything about them became something terrific.

We knew they felt guilty, from almost killing their homeplanet, but that? That art, those hundreds of thousands of ideas of things that could never be, but still could be thought about? Those hands, smudged with toxic paint and oils, used to create imaginary things that looked too real to be imaginary? Their bodies, almost fragile almost strong bodies, that adapted to everything and could be broken down for the sake of things they deemed as beautiful? That did not came from guilt. It came within their own terrifying natures, along their hundred voices that could heal, along their silence that could destroy, along everything they ever created.

But still, when everyone feared them, humans did not try to attack. They did not try to cover themselves once again with blood. They did not do anything with violence. Despite everything, humanity was kind.

They helped with medicine, with their vaccines. They helped with technology, with their reckless nature of wanting to see if something can explode. They helped with art, by showing their own, and admiring ours.

They helped with history, for their obsession with the past did not allow them to not want to know more. They helped with restauration, for their guilt made them want to stop anyone from making mistakes similar to theirs. They helped with war, for not doing it. They helped with the universe, for despite everything, they still loved.

Humans are eldritch, for everything was set so they could once again use violence, but they did not. Humans are eldritch, because they themselves think they are evil, but still, they do not commit to it. Humans are eldritch, and they will help you out when you need it - just ignore their pets, for they have an obsession with befriending any and all creatures.

edit: hi so this is gaining traction again! i’m a college student who does writing commissions, so feel free to check it out! have a nice day byeee

What if a human's singing voice is highly dangerous to other intelligent alien species? What if we're the sirens of space, and aliens can't resist our "heavenly" voices?