Humans Are Deathworlders Prompt:

Boil, while the 212 is relaxing: Sir, if you don't mind me asking, how are you so good at all this war stuff? I thought the Jedi were peacekeepers?

Obi Wan: Oh, I suppose no one ever told you about Melida/Daan, then. Well, when I was younger....

*Thirty traumatizing minutes later

Obi Wan: And that's how I was part of a rebellion and sold into slavery at 13!

All the troopers, in horrified silence:

Wooley, raising his hand: Sir?

Obi Wan: Yes, Wooley?

Wooley, teary eyed: Permission to hug?

Obi Wan, concerned: Of course, are you alrigh-

Obi Wan, buried under several hundred troopers: Little help

Cody: Sorry sir, you're staying here for forever.

Boil: And then a little longer

Humans are weird: Nerf Wars

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)

Alien: Friend human, why do you keep that plastic ballistic toy beside your desk? Human: *Hefts nerf pistol* I was unprepared once…..never again. ——————————– Alien: Does everyone have these plastic ballistic toys? Human: They do, but each department has their own favorite. Human: You can actually tell a person’s job depending on what nerf gun they have. Alien: Really? ——————————– Human: Most of the clerks and desk junkies have pistols. Alien: Why is that? Human: Most nerf wars often start here and they need to pivot quickly if they are in the middle of a task. ——————————— Human: Janitors use shotgun nerf guns and hide them in their carts. Human: They like sneaking up on people and shooting point blank. Alien: Isn’t that excessive? Human: They clean the bathrooms, their revenge is justified. ——————————– Human: The IT department are the most dangerous, you should avoid going near there in the middle of a nerf war. Alien: How dangerous can they be? Human: They like to booby trap everything. Alien: That doesn’t sound so bad. Human: You ever try to go to the bathroom only to set off a nerf grenade? Human: My body was covered in warts for weeks. ———————————- Alien: What kind of nerf guns do executives have? Human: Well, assuming they’re not total assholes, you’ll have one of two kinds of executives. Human: First ones are those that splurge on the giant rapid firing nerf guns that cost, like, $500. Alien: What’s the other type? Human: They buy nerf sniper rifles and take pot shots at people from across the office. Alien: Seems like you could all gang up on them. Human: If we they do they start firing us. Alien: That doesn’t sound fair. Human: Hence being assholes. ———————————- Alien: How does one start a nerf war? Human: Observe. Human: *Pulls out nerf pistol, shoots random officer worker.* Human 2: WTF? Human: Steve shot you. *Points at random other office worker* Human 2: *Pulls out pistol and shoots steve* Steve: *gets hit, roars, grabs nerf rifle and starts firing wildly* Office: *Everyone reaches for nerf gun and starts firing* Alien: How are you humans so easily triggered to violence? Human: *Pulls out pistol and shoots Alien* Alien: YOU SON OF A B- Alien: *Picks up human and throws him across office* ————————————- *Middle of office nerf war* Alien: *Dashes between cover* Alien: I need to get to the copy room! Human: You won’t make it ten feet! Human: *Points down towards copy room, sees deployed tripod with belt fed ammunition.* Alien: Where did that come from?! *Dodges stream of darts* Human: *Loads clip* Todd from accounting brought it up Alien: *Shouts from cover* That’s not fair Todd! Todd: Eat my dick! *Begins firing wildly* ————————————- Alien: Is there a reason a majority of nerf guns look like real firearms? Human: Oh that. Human: That’s just the military attempting to plant subliminal messages into children to get them to associate having fun with holding a gun, therefore making them more likely to enlist into the military. Alien: My gods, that’s awful! Human: I wouldn’t worry; lately it has about as much of a success rate as the military making video games for kids. Alien: Do they work? Human: They fail so badly they turn everyone who plays them into hippies. ————————————– Alien: Moring D- *Sees coworker* Alien: by the gods what is that!? Human: *Hefts giant rocket sized nerf* Human: I call it the “Pink Slip”. Alien: I don’t think they’ll let you use that inside. Human: Hence the name. —————————————- Alien: Isn’t this barbaric? Human: You should have seen it when we were using nerf swords and shields. Human: We built castle walls out of used soda cans for protection and drawbridges made out of sticky notes.

Reblog if you think asexuality is a legitimate sexuality.

I’m trying to prove something.

ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DYING AT OBI-WAN ROASTING THE SITH THE JEDI ONLY USE LIGHTSABERS BECAUSE OF WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT WHO THEY ARE AS A PEOPLE “BUT THE SITH USE THEM AS WELL?” “WELL THAT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE OBSESSED WITH US.” AND LIKE HE’S NOT WRONG. THE SITH ARE PRETTY OBSESSED WITH THE JEDI AND I’M JUST LOSING IT BECAUSE OBI-WAN CALLING THE SITH A BUNCH OF OBSESSED LOSERS IS ALWAYS GOING TO BE THE FUNNIEST THING

Your art reminded of how the Unholy Alliance update made me go from very on the vence about Narinder to biggest Narinder defender will die in the trenches for my wife /hj

Like personally, them finally giving us the reasoning behind the Bishops attack on Narinder beyond vague prophecy changed a lot of the context behind the situation

And while, yes, the intentions behind his actions of resurrecting followers and his opinion on his new find extreme popularity were left quite vague (and why I don't if someone still interprets Narinder as the one mainly/equally at fault). It still doesn't change how it was a betrayal out of the Bishops fear of a possible betrayal. He wasn't conquering and overtaking them, he wasn't actively starving them, they just feared that possibility that he would.

It gets even more fucked up when you remember that all the Bishops ran their faiths by gifting and blessings their followers with the opposite of their domains (food, heath, etc) so Narinder actions where probably completely normal thing to do as a god of death in his mind, like.

In my fucked up fantasies (aka my interpretations of the canon), Narinder was only truly in the wrong when they asked the Lamb to sacrifice themselves. But getting into even more personal headcanons territory, for him it was likely just the natural/necessary think to do. He's a god of death that gave this little mortal life so they could do his bitting (that included them doing their own sacrifices, depending on your own gameplay), them sacrificing themselves was likely a given for him. Probably didn't consider that the Lamb would mind it, like, sacrificing yourself for your god just another tuesday in the life of a follower of death aint I right

So in conclusion, narilamb before post-game was a classic case of doomed yaoi/hurt people hurt people. Narinder asked the sacrifice-survivor to be sacrificed once again and the Lamb betrayed the one who was betrayed in return (pun half-intended)

(Really sorry for the ramble, it's almost midnight in my country and your art plagued me with thoughts. Hope you at least liked reading my deranged screams, I mean, my interpretations of the story. If you didn't, again, Im truly sorry. But Im still interested in your own thoughts regardless, so yeah... feel free to share??? I don't know how to phrase that in a good way, again, its almost midnigh)

no truer words have been said

projecting my thoughts onto my current hyperfixation don't mind me🫠😗( "house song" by searows on tt got me in the mood)

“WHAT DO I DO?!”

“Only Captain Rex knows how to break that hold, sir!”

“WELL GET HIM ON THE COMMS!” 

-

The shinies try to warn Obi-Wan of Cody’s struggle snuggle tendencies before his morning caf. He didn’t listen. 

“The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who’s going to stop me?”

— Ayn Rand