For Some Reason, I Wonder What Aliens Think Of Sky Diving, I Like To Think Like This (H Is Human) (A

Anakin requests hard copies of his casualty reports after every campaign. Rex hand-delivers them and watches the General disappear into his quarters - it will take him 20-30 minutes before he’s ready to transmit anything to the council or senate. For two years, Rex doesn’t think much of the little routine.

Then the Resolute is ambushed during Skywalker’s prep time. The General bursts out of his quarters and asks Rex to finish up the transmission while he joins the dogfight outside.

On his desk, the casualty report. Beside each CT number on the list, in bunched, angular handwriting, is each clone’s name. This is the sheet going straight to the senate - perhaps the only legal document on which their actual names would ever be found. Skywalker immortalizing them in the only way he can.

Rex completes the list in his own sharp scrawl. It sends successfully, and he and the General never discuss it. But when he can, Rex hangs in the hall outside Skywalker’s quarters after delivering the reports, guarding the sacred space. It’s never lost on him - this may be the closest thing to a funeral the fallen 501st will get.

After the 30th planet joined the Galactic Union, product manufacturers who wanted to be 'the best' would put their products through planetary tests. However many planets your product could withstand, the better rating it would get. When the 100th planet joined the GU, the Planetary Product Tests started having a yearly ultimate competition which was broadcasted and the results typically heavily affected prices for the upcoming year.

When humanity joined as the 154th planet, humans were coined one of the top three most destructive species, and thus coveted for the PPT. Humans were more than willing to join, and held their own competition to decide who gets to go attempt to destroy these products every year.

Products put in the PPT ranged from small kitchen utensils to new plating for star ships. No product ever survived all 232 planets and their native beings, but some had gotten upwards of 160. Most product designers would recommend which species their product could withstand and then test against those first.

To prepare for the PPT, many companies would hire several humans to continually test their products throughout the year so they knew their end result would be favorable. The label 'Human Tested' soon became a sought after title in shops across the galaxy. Because if something can withstand those crazy deathworlders, then it should be able to handle anything else thrown at it.

Unfortunately, like anything else humans touched in the GU, the PPT soon had to adopt so many rules and regulations that it choked itself out of it's own market, becoming a fake sponsored event with pre decided winners. Individual companies were now in charge of hiring species to test their products before marketing them, and bribes to correct human organizations meant the 'Human Tested' label appeared on subpar products.

Hiring humans also became expensive, and humans quickly became one of the most trafficked commodities among rich companies. Eventually the GU had to step in. With help from Human, Faetatia, and Aureda law makers, a strict set of laws was created that even the most cunning of humans would be hard pressed to get around.

The PPT was disbanded, and testing had to be submitted to the Testing Agency. The Testing Agency created to employ several of every species and was directly overseen by the GU government. Species could only work at the Testing Agency for three years to minimize potential corruption. And if anyone was found trafficking a human, said human would then get ten minutes to exact revenge before whatever remained was then taken to court.

After some time, certain beings (humans) got nostalgic for the PPT and began buying products to host their own version of it. As they gained popularity, companies would donate new products for their PPT.

And the circle of craziness that makes up human history began again while the GU government regretted ever allowing humans to join in the first place.

Reblog if you think asexuality is a legitimate sexuality.

I’m trying to prove something.

 If you like your story, then that’s a good enough reason to write it. If you like the plot twist, the character, the trope, then that’s more than enough of a reason to write it. It’s your story, your own little world, and what matters most is that it’s a story you love.

SW clone wars Actor Au

The show is based on true event, and people but the actual hero with no fear and Vader are different people. The negotiator was the one with the Padawan, and she never left the order. The hero with no fear was married to senator amidala, but that was in the rebellion.

Luke and leia actually existed but they where cousin, not twin. There was 30 years difference between the hero and the negotiator.

Anakin is actually a force user. Used to be a Jedi, but left the order when a mission with his Padawan Went pear shaped. He lost his arm. He’s the third oldest of the crew at 43. He’s a descendant of the hero with no fear.

Padme is 21 and used to be anakin Padawan. She technically can still use the force but she has a mental block since The Accident so she left the order and anakin wasn’t about to let his 14 years old Padawan alone. Also he’s traumatized too. But the show help them both to work through their trauma.

Any romantic scene between their characters make them laugh so much. That’s why some viewers think the relationship is weird and ship obikin or any other ship because they are too accustomed to being a mentor/apprentice and it does show a bit in the scenes.

The actors playing the clones are all descendants from the actual Vod. Don’t call them clones. Nobody like that word very much.

Cody and Rex are twin and 18. Fives is their older brother, by 8 years. The episode with domino squad was so difficult to film. because both Rex and Cody couldn’t stop snickering at the thought of bossing their older brother around.

Anakin does all of his stunt and the actors playing force users like the go talk to him before their scene to get it just right. Anakin tend to do the weird force things himself. ( force shield, summoning lightsabers, ect)

He taught the Jedi actors and siths actor how to use their blade. It’s usually CGI, but when there no need to actually fight with others, anakin has his actual lightsaber out.

Palpatine is the oldest at 61, and is absolutely stocked to know that the homophobic/transphobic and xenophobic emperor would Loathe being played by a gay trans, half human half twi-leck man happily married to the actor playing dooku, with children and grandchildren they spoil.

Dooku is 58. Obi wan uncle. They cannot have a serious fight, without laughing. Ventress and maul are his and palp adopted children.

Ventress and obi wan love their fight scene because they can diss each other

Ventress is a awesome lesbian mother of the group.

Soka was a young girl who decided to audition on a whim. She got the part and she absolutely loves it. Her parents are assholes and tried to fuck her up because of the money she made but anakin put a stop to it. They went to prison and he decided to adopted her.

Yoda is the equivalent of 25 for his specie and can actually talk normally. He likes to complicate his speech even further. Him and windu are best friends, and def are the pranking duo.

R2D2 is his usual self and anakin droid from the start. The actual hero within no fear never lost his arms, and wasn’t that good of a mechanic. That’s all anakin.

C3P0 loves to turn people insane. He’s actually way more chill in real life. He’s padme’s. Anakin did built him, but to be a sort of guide droid for padme, after The mission.

Obiwan is 35 and has 6 sibling. He’s pretty much space bill Weasley. Anakin and him have an amazing chemistry and he’s the one that anakin confide to. They are pretty much best friend.

Korki, bo-Katan and satine are obi wan siblings. The romantic scene between the duchess and the negotiator where hilarious to film because it has both actor gagging looking at the camera. But satine death scene was really hard to film.

And yeah that’s what I have for now.

you know how most of the things humans use as spices are poisonous or repellent to most other mammals? and you know how anything vaguely d&d inspired has dwarves being way more poison resistant than even humans?

dwarf cuisine shouldn’t be bland, it should be unimaginably spicy and potentially harmful or fatal to humans. like green potato and rhubarb leaf salad with a festive garnish of yew berries and deadly nightshade berries, that kind of thing.

It’s-all-just-a-tv-show AU in which they’re all going over the script of the clone wars:

Fives: *reading silently*

Echo: *same*

Fives: what?!? *slams script closed* NO WAY!

Echo: *closing his script and wiping a tear away* aw man, just like that? Just “boom”?

Fives: *pulls echo into a hug* damn man, I’m gonna miss you

Echo: shit, me too. Ah, man, Rex’s gonna be so pissed.

*camera pans to Rex who’s just closed his script on the corner*

Rex: *pointing at the camera* you stop filming this shit right now, I’m going on a strike. *walking away* Oi Cody. CODY! I want you to make a petition online to the writers of this thing RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

if a hand kiss isn’t done with either reverent trembling and closed eyes or with a certain slow sensuality and direct ‘fuck me’ eye contact, you are wasting my time and everyone else’s

So in the baby-wan AU (hilariously, it is tagged that, but that post has gotten too big to keep reblogging lmao) where Obi-Wan travels back to a 7 year old body with all the PTSD, the first time Jaster (his new Mando’buir) mentions that a little Mando’Jetii should have armor, Obi-Wan mentions that he wants bracers (they’ll have to be plated so he can flex his wrists) made of cortosis metal, and Fay agrees very sagely, informing the very confused Mandalorians that Jedi can’t wear much (if any) beskar because it messes with their connection to the force, but cotorsis is a metal that deactivates lightsabers on contact.

Jaster, who now knows that his newest son cannot use beskar and will never train with a lightsaber, decides then and there to hunt down enough cortosis for bracers and greaves and a small midsection wrap (meaning not quite plates, so much as criss crossing wraps of metal that’ll curve around his midsection with the hope that the cortosis would stop a saber and deactivate it in time not to be cut) and maybe a beskad too, so he can still have a weapon himself after a saber has been deactivated.

This unfortunately means that he will not be sparring against other Jedi unless they trade their sabers for a beskad, but a few of his friends will happily comply with that to get him some solid practice.

They also have a small flashback when Jaster asks why Obi doesn’t want a helmet and will refuse one if offered. Mainly, a flashback where he stutteringly tries to explain the mask Ventress put on him and what it did and why it was scary and that he was like that for over a month while people thought he was dead and she hurt his friend and- yeah. Jaster gets his first taste of Jedi PTSD and some of the most fucked up shit you can do to a living creature both in one go. He is horrified and now Obi-Wan is being plied with kisses and snacks by many verd’e.

Jango immediately teaches his baby brother his favorite bad words. He’s only 14 so he knows ALL the best words that’ll have Jaster yelling at them, but Jango is an adult now so Jaster isn’t as stern when telling him not to say them, which takes ALL the fun outta it, so he has to make sure the baby knows to tell Jaster all the cool new words he’s learned. It’s important.

While they’re on Mandalore, Obi-Wan gets fitted for his first armor (which are made of leather for extra protection before he’s old enough for metals) and Fay gently rebuffs the need for weaponry (the nice female Mandalorians fawn over her thinking she’s young till they realize she’s over 1200 at least and met Tarre a few times lmao, Fay is living for pretty woman fawning over her tho) but eventually accepts a baton of cortosis with the understanding that force suppressants exist and if she was suppressed, she still wants a way to turn off a saber. They’re a little shocked when she tells them she can turn off someone’s saber mid-battle with just the force, which shocks them because they thought Jedi had ways to keep that from happening. They do, she’s just stronger than that.

Fay keeps giggling when she tells the council they finally have another Mandalorian Jedi in the order again. They sigh really loud at that and tell her she better figure out their political situation so they can help get rid of the terrorists they said they had a group of now, so they can make the planet safer for Obi-Wan and any other kiddos that end up there. This, of course, is how Agricorps end up involved as they should, lmao.

Obi-Wan sometimes forgets that Anakin and Ahsoka are not younglings anymore.

Like, during the war, when it just started and he and Anakin were only getting used to it, Anakin would often fall asleep while he was writing reports. And Obi-Wan would just pick him up to carry him to his room and Anakin would wrap all his limbs around him and cling to him like a monkey.

When Obi-Wan picks up Ahsoka for the first time, she sprawls all over him and snores into his neck.

And he gets some side-looks at first, the clones are surprised to see such displays between their Jedi. But Obi-Wan just smiles and keeps going, shifting Anakin a little so his neck won't hurt when he wakes up.

And then he starts doing it to the clones as well.

One day he randomly found a clone sleeping in the hall and picked him up, armor and weapons and all, and brought him to the barracks. The men who were there at the time almost fainted when their General strolled in casually and asked where was their brother's bunk.

No one believes them then they later speak about it in the mess hall.

Cody almost has a heart attack the first time he sees it happen. Like, this is his superior officer, his General, the High General of the GAR and the member of the Jedi Council carrying one of his man bridal stile!

It was pretty early into the war and Cody was serving under Obi-Wan's command for only a couple of months, so he was absolutely certain he would hear at least some comment or even an order to punish the man. After all, he must have fallen asleep on duty.

But there's nothing.

Obi-Wan didn't even mention it. He just smiled at the clone the next time he saw him and asked if he was getting enough sleep now.

It just keeps happening. The war is ruthless, after all.

Obi-Wan carries Anakin, Ahsoka and the clones all around the ship to get them to comfortable sleeping places. Everyone get used to it fast. Some clones even make it a competition to fall asleep in the weirdest places to see if Obi-Wan would find them.

He does, every time.

The clones get comfortable around Obi-Wan very fast, seeing that he's not exactly what the Kaminoans promised them the Jedi would be. Sure, he's calm and wise and very nice and absolutely terrifying with his lightsaber but he's also kind and warm and friendly. They joke with him, even tease him. He smiles and returns the favor. And then Wooley accidently calls Obi-Wan 'Dad' after receiving an order.

Anakin thinks it's hilarious and teases them both. Until Obi-Wan reminds him how he called Master Yoda 'Grandpa'.

That shuts him up.

But soon after, Obi-Wan randomly drops adoption papers on the table in the middle of the briefing and says that he signed them already and everyone who wants can do the same, they just need to write their name in and it's done.

That's how he adopts the whole 212th except Cody, who looks him dead in the eye and asks him out.

He says yes.

And since the 212th now are considered Stewjoni, the rest of the clones get the citizenship automatically as they're all family.

Anakin sulks and doesn't talk to Obi-Wan for a week until a very confused Ahsoka asks him why.

"No, I'm very glad that our men have rights now, but he didn't even ask me if I wanted to be adopted too! I didn't even know the Jedi were allowed to do it."

"But he adopted you like, ten years ago?"

"WHAT"

"Oh, he asked me a few weeks after I became your Padawan if I wanted to become your sister too. I said yes, by the way."

Which leads to this-

"Why didn't you tell me you adopted me!"

"But I told you, remember, after our second swimming lesson?"

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING"