Riyo To The Rescue (even In His Thoughts :,) )

batman: what’s the situation?

commissioner gordon: Harley and Ivy have hijacked an AM radio station and taken the employees hostage

batman: what are their demands?

commissioner gordon: they haven’t issued any. they, uh.

batman:

[commisioner gordon turns on the radio]

harley: —you gotta walk away, sweetie. His family sounds completely toxic, if not outright emotionally abusive, and he’s too enmeshed to see it.

caller: no, you’re right. you’re right. I gotta do it.

harley: you got this, honey. now, stay on the line a minute, I’m writing down some the names of some books for you and you can get those from Ivy after we’re done. okay! our next caller —

[commisioner gordon turns off the radio]

batman: what station is this?

commisioner gordon: WGTM.

batman: the one that rebroadcasts rush limbaugh?

commissioner gordon:

batman:

commisioner gordon: you know what, i probably didn’t need to call you for this.

Canon, give me the forbidden fun Jedi anecdotes-

These two OCs I made years ago just fit the palette so well I had to do them. Orange it Volpe and green is Finn. They are based in the world of RWBY and I love them so much.

Vero and Butch were both deathworlders. Different species and different deathworlders, but still. I was instructed not to let them meet, but how could I resist?

I stood there while they spoke, getting very excited about all their similarities. The shared experiences they had and the similar stories of horror.

I was becoming more and more uncomfortable the more they spoke. They habited planets where one had to pick which natural disaster they were the most comfortable with. Children learned at young ages to keep their favorite things close for quick packing. They desensitized themselves to the disasters they grew up with, to the point where they no longer feared them.

When they began discussing their histories, I grew nauseous. I created an excuse to end the conversation. Vero left with me, and Butch went elsewhere.

“Thank you. I’m not sure how much more I could have taken,” Vero said.

“What? I thought you two were getting along great?” I asked.

“We were. Until I asked how his people adapted to their environments. He said ingenuity. That’s not an answer, and it’s certainly no safeguard. My people created bio enhancements. His people just, grew more stubborn. It’s terrifying.”

So even deathworlders are scared of humans. How interesting.

Humans have no time for other planet’s savior complexes.

The first huge battle between us and an outer space fleet happened before we even got out of our solar system. They flew down and held the planet hostage, made threats, the whole shebang. The Galactic Syndicate catches word of it; one of the warring planets taking control of a tiny, defenseless planet right on the edge of their borders? Well, that doesn’t look good for them.

So they send ships down. The moment those doors open, the aliens have a gun in their face and a very angry, bruised, and beaten human glaring at them.

What they hadn’t been made aware of was that the humans had, more or less competently, handled the invasion. However, the introduction of outer space aliens had been somewhat of a shock to them and, as the human explained in less polite words, they had had their fill of outer space life forms, thank you very much.

But now Earth is on the map. News of their competence in the fight against their invaders passes through the systems and planet upon planet send down delegations to attempt to form relations with these strange new creatures. More often than not, they offer protection, with the uninformed belief that these soft, little bipeds need a strong defender. Those emissaries return to their planets rather hastily and steadfastly refuse to return to the backwater little planet.

Since then, many more invasions have happened on Earth, but no matter how many fleets are sent to help defend the humans, they are turned away. Some of the elders in the Syndicate claim it is human arrogance, refusing any help, stubborn, stupid creatures. Others find it fascinating, courageous, and a little bit sexy.

But the truth is, humans don’t trust well, and we don’t like to be in debt. We know how fast we can turn on each other; how fast do you think it would take for a mysterious, scientifically advanced, military deep space species to do the same, good intentions be damned?

No, best just to handle it ourselves.

you, reading this. you're a creature now. reblog to creature your followers

For the touch ask prompts: Codywan and "shielding the other one with their body", please!

codywan, 780 words, post-war no order 66 AU

“Oh Force, Cody, save me.” 

Cody doesn’t hesitate. Between one breath and the next he sweeps Obi-Wan into his arms, holding him close against his chest, and turns so his back is facing the centre of the room. Obi-Wan curls up against his chest, tucking his head in close. They’re of a similar enough height that Cody can’t completely hide his partner, but they’re close enough that Obi-Wan can claim plausible deniability that he didn’t see anyone who was looking for him. 

“Who is it?” Cody mutters into his ear, feeling his hair tickle against his lips. He’s still not used to this – not to holding Obi-Wan so openly in public, nor the strange fit of the formal wear across his shoulders, or the tang of the exotic food in his mouth. But he’s putting on a straight face, because he’s the most highly ranked clone here – the highly formerly ranked. With the GAR dissolved at the end of the war, he has no military titles any more. That doesn’t stop Senators and governmental leaders and random people on the street from recognising him. The holo that had gone viral of him and Obi-Wan kissing at the announcement of the war’s end, and Cody had only cursed his distinctive facial scar ever since. For once, he’d be more than happy to blend in among the anonymity of his brothers. 

“The Senator from Rhydills,” Obi-Wan replies, barely loud enough that Cody can hear him. “He’s coming over – to the dance floor, quickly.” 

Cody swings Obi-Wan out among the couples that are twirling around each other, and his mouth twitches in a smile as he hears an annoyed sigh. Obi-Wan takes the lead easily, and Cody focuses on remembering the steps that he had insisted that Obi-Wan teach him the day before. He hadn’t expected to dance, but he likes to account for all possibilities, and it’s paying off now. 

“What did he want to talk about?” Cody asks, wondering if Obi-Wan is trying to put the conversation off for a minute or for forever. 

“His planet has recently undergone a civil war between the two main religions that make up the majority of the population,” Obi-Wan answers. 

“While our war was ongoing?” Cody asks, a little startled. 

“Of course,” Obi-Wan snorts. “It never rains, my dear – it pours. But anyhow, he’s intent on resettling as many troopers as possible on his planet. The male population was near destroyed in the fighting, and they’re likely to have a population crisis in the next twenty years if he doesn’t make up for it somehow.” 

“With clones?” Cody asks. “But won’t that just give him a new population crisis in fifty years, when everyone’s children are related to each other?” 

“A point that I have tried to convey to him three times in the last week,” Obi-Wan sighs. “I think he is very fixated on the current moment. A regiment has resettled on Rhydills, but I think he was hoping for one of the armies instead.” 

Cody takes a moment to digest that. In the months since the war ended, there have been many offers from different planets to settle Cody’s brothers. Their contribution to the galaxy notwithstanding, Cody knows that the speed at which they learn, their adaptability, endurance, and tenaciousness of the clones in all areas, not only war, has made them attractive immigrants. Few had been willing to stay on Coruscant once the breadth of the galaxy was made available to them, though they are in the process of setting up a robust online presence to stay connected even as they scatter physically. One tenth of all of his brothers, on one planet? There’s no possibility of that happening. 

“So instead of telling him no for a fourth time, you’d prefer to dance with me?” Cody asks. He would love to kiss him, but even if their relationship is public now, he still shies away from any displays that draw attention to it. 

“If I were to list the activities I would prefer to avoid and instead dance with you, we would be here next week, my dear,” Obi-Wan says, eyes crinkling as he smiles. 

Cody holds his silence as they turn around the floor, though he can feel the heat in his cheeks as they move. “I would be here until next month,” he finally says, and Obi-Wan laughs. 

“Well, I shall not attempt to argue with that. If we’re both so invested in our time here, perhaps we should make good use of it?” 

“Yes,” Cody agrees, and pays no attention to Senators or politics or the rest of the galaxy – not when he has everything he needs right here, in his arms. 

AU Guide

Rebels AU: A au where Anakin didn’t turn evil but the empire still rises

Part 1

Part 2 (<- for anyone wondering where Padmé and Luke are)

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

(FAQ: Is Shmi alive? Nope)

Role Swap AU: An au where Anakin is the senator from Tatooine and Padmé is a jedi knight

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7 (bad ending)

(FAQ: is Shmi alive? Yep)

Separatist AU: An au where Anakin was left behind on Tatooine and ended up becoming a sith instead and as a result became a general in the separatist army

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

(FAQ: Is Shmi alive? Maybe)

A Different Kind of Clone War (1)

Wolfpack Mayhem

"Wolffe!"

"Yes."

"Sinker took my spare pack of ammo!"

"Well tell him to give it back."

"I did! He's being a- oof!"

Wolffe sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, finally turning around to face the chaos that was his squad.

Sinker had jumped on top of Comet and Comet now had his arm in a choke hold, trying to pry his fingers off of The pack of extra ammunition. Sinker was trying his damn hardest to hold on to it and reposition himself so Comet didn't snap his arm. Boost ducked to avoid a boot to his head and Warthog laughed.

"Just- give it- back!" Comet grunted, wrestling his older brother onto his back.

"You two are acting like children." Wolffe said. Anyone else would have heard the tone as disapproving, but the pack knew he enjoyed watching them at it and could hear the underlying affection.

"Hah! Haha!" Comet jumped up with the ammo in both hands like a trophy and made for the compartment to Wolffe's right.

It had been a long many weeks and he needed a break from all the stress. Wolffe couldn't help himself.

Faster than thought possible, he lunged at the youngest squad member and Comet toppled over from both Wolffe's weight and the surprise.

Wolffe pinned the kid on his back and straddled his waist, locking his arms to his sides with his knees.

"This is for wrecking my moment of peace." Wolffe growled before scribbling his fingers over Comet's stomach.

Comet SCREAMED. Maybe it was because he'd been taken completely by surprise. He hadn't thought the commander was even capable of pulling such a thing.

Sinker gawked at Wolffe as he tickled the young clone to hysterics. Warthog and Boost glanced at each other.

Comet bucked and writhed under the commander but he wouldn't be moved.

"WOHOHOLFFE!!"

"Yes?"

"STAHAP!"

Wolffe gave a rare grin. "Are you giving the higher ranking officer orders?"

Comet squealed as Wolffe's fingers fluttered over his navel. "No! Nohoho!"

"What in Cerridil is going on in here?"

All five of them looked up to see Commander Cody in the door way. They hadn't heard the door hiss open over Comet's laughter.

"Cody. We been redeployed?" Wolffe started to get up from his hold on Comet on the floor.

"Oh no, carry on.. I didn't mean to ruin your fun." Cody said with a grin, taking in what was happening. "I simply heard a scream."

"Aw man!" Comet groaned, trying to free his arms. "Wolffe!"

Wolffe smirked down at him. "What? Tired out already?"

"Maybe he is a shiny, yet. Just doesn't have the strength." Sinker chuckled.

Wolffe's smirk got even wider and he released Comet. Then he spun and pounced on Sinker, who yelped as he went over backwards.

"And what does that make you?" Wolffe wondered as he started pinching at Sinker's sides. Sinker immediately started giggling trying to grab the commander's wrists.

"Wow, Commander's really in a good mood today." Boost chuckled, grabbing Sinker's arms and prying them up above his head.

"Hey! No- hehehey, wahait!" Sinker squirmed as Wolffe started his assault. "BOOHOHOHOST! YOU TRAHAITOR!"

"Don't worry, I got 'em." Warthog said, burrying his fingers under Boost's arms. As a result, said clone snapped back with a shriek, letting Sinker's arms go.

Cody watched the Wolfpack wreak havoc on each other. Comet had rejoined the fray and payed dearly at Boost and Sinker's hands. Warthog was already in hysterics as Wolffe had lost Sinker and had chosen him instead.

Comet tried to get at Wolffe but got no reaction from the commander and, again, payed dearly for it.

Cody decided it was time Wolffe got a taste of his own medicine. Being from the same batch, Cody knew exactly what to do and understood why Wolffe's men hadn't figured their commander out yet.

Cody crouched behind Wolffe and prepared himself for the consoquences of his actions. Oh, there would be consoquences.

The 212th commander latched onto Wolffe's hips and Wolffe yelped and lost his concentration on Comet completely.

Cody knew how to break his brother's defenses, knew how they worked.

His men didn't know he was ticklish because he could hold out much longer than any of them. That's exactly how it had gone, back when they were cadets. So it took a solid 5 seconds of Wolffe and Cody struggling (mainly Wolffe) before Wolffe made a sound.

The rest of the pack fell still.

Cody grinned as Wolffe's giggling increased in frequency and in volume as he twisted and squirmed, trying to free himself from Cody's grip. Cody just pinched and tickled over his hips more, the grin growing wider on his face. Finally he sat down right there on the floor and pulled Wolffe into his lap, never letting up. At that point, Wolffe was writhing and laughing hysterically, a sound that made the rest of his team smile.

Cody drilled his thumbs into the dips of his hips and Wolffe arched his back and then curled in on himself, pushing himself against Cody's stomach in an attempt to get away from his hands.

With a chuckle, Cody relented and rested his arms on the shoulder in his lap. Wolffe gasped for breath, still giggling.

Yeah, it had been a long many weeks. Cody knew Wolffe was one to constantly stress and was more than happy to have contributed a distraction.

Even if he'd have to watch his own back for a while. Revenge was absolutely going to be taken by the 104th Commander.

Cody chuckled as Wolffe shifted and grumbled about him getting the upper hand but made no moves to remove himself from Cody's lap. This made him grin and run his fingers through his brother's hair, watching him all but melt.

Yeah, the commander was deffinetely in a good mood today.

if a hand kiss isn’t done with either reverent trembling and closed eyes or with a certain slow sensuality and direct ‘fuck me’ eye contact, you are wasting my time and everyone else’s