I Like Stories Where A Normal Human Child Is Being Raised By A Sinister Supernatural Being Who Is Totally

Stewjoni are ancient bioweapons. Designed to hunt darksiders Au

The first time the troops see Obi-wan drop his human facade is when he tears Pong Krells throat out with his teeth.

Obi-wan had been having an uneasy feeling about the other Jedi and had diverted to check in when he saw what the man was doing. Then felt the darkside dripping off the man.

He completely lost his composure. He didn't even try to use his saber. Just launched himself at Krell and tore into him.

In the end Obi-wan was standing there in a daze as he calmed down. Blood all over him.

The troopers that witnessed the scene are in shock. Too stunned to move.

Finally Waxer and Fives pull themselves together enough to approach.

"General Kenobi? Wha-" Waxer starts. Biting his tongue when the jedi snaps his head around to look at him.

His eyes are glowing. Not yellow. Waxer feels a blinding wave of relief at that. Not sith yellow. But blue, with a hint of green. Some of his freckles are glowing too. A strange bioluminesance that theyve never seen displayed before.

"Sir, you okay?" Fives gathers the courage to ask.

Obi-wan blinks. The dazed, almost feral, look in his eye fades. He swollows, then grimaces. Likely from the blood in his mouth. He clears his throat and opens his mouth to answer.

His teeth have changed. Now slightly longer and sharp.

"'M fine." The redhead rasps. Voice holding a hint of something guttural. "The men?"

Waxer glances back to the troops. They still havent moved, but they also seem to have relaxed a bit.

"Fine. Everyones fine. General, what happened just now?" Waxer asks.

The jedi makes an odd trilling noise. "Ah... I may have... Lost my control. I apologize for scaring you all."

Five snorts. "Scaring us? General that was the hottest kriffing thing ive ever seen!"

Waxer doesnt hesitate to punch the ARC trooper.

crack AU idea:

The war is over. Sheevy is dead. Everything is perfect.

...except for the little bitty problem of how the clones don't have citizenship and aren't even recognized as sentient beings.

Jedi are scrambling to find a way to get the clones legal rights and finally realize that the easiest way is to just accept them into the Jedi order, which would grant automatic citizenship.

But you gotta be force-sensitive. Since they're all clones of Jango Fett, who was as force-sensitive as a rock, they don't qualify. (I love the idea of FS-clones but just not in this AU lol.)

Jocasta does some digging in the archives and discovers something interesting: an old old old law, SUPER old, that states that the spouse of any Jedi, and that spouse's immediate relatives, are automatically granted a place in the Jedi order, regardless of midichlorian levels. (Back when getting married was something Jedi did, they knew that that meant if the spouse & spouse's family was non-Jedi, they could be in danger/used as leverage against the Jedi, and this was a way to protect them.)

And clones definitely count as immediate relatives.

Chaos ensues.

I'm picturing a council meeting where half the Jedi just left to go find some Space Asprin because the whole fiasco is a headache and the rest of the people there are:

Depa, chatting with Shaak: I considered myself and Grey, but we've always been more like platonic partners. I know he sees Caleb as a son, but my feelings for him are familial and I know it's the same for him.

Shaak: I agree, some of the clones overheard me saying I would do it if it meant they'd be safe and their response was unanimously no no no you're like our mom

Plo, to no one in particular: Does it have to be a marriage? Could it be an adoption? asking for a friend.

Anakin, newly appointed to the council: wait so NOW we can get married??????

Obi-Wan: no Anakin, this is an extenuating circumstance, not a new rule

Anakin: we could make it a new rule

Plo, turning to Shaak: what if we got married, and then adopted all the clones?

Aayla, kicking the door open: I VOLUNTEER

...I have many more thoughts about this AU and will elaborate later.

Humans are deathworlders prompt:

Humans have been known as a terrifying, strong species that can kill and eat almost anything.

Others across the galaxy tell their children that humans are dangerous, using their concept as a sort of boogeyman.

The problem is, many of the alien children think that humans are SUPER COOL and AWESOME, (kind of like how many human children view dinosaurs but smaller) and they would do anything to meet one up close

Whoever thinks that the war on Gaza has ended is mistaken. In fact, it is just beginning, but it is a different kind of war—one more devastating than bombs and missiles!

The people of Gaza have returned to a wiped-out city, empty neighborhoods, and destroyed homes. There are no mosques, no schools, no universities, no hospitals, no roads—not even bakeries or markets. Even water and electricity, the simplest necessities of life, are unavailable!

Blessed are those who stand with Gaza, support it, and do not abandon it, even with a prayer, for that is the least one can do!

Reblog if you think asexuality is a legitimate sexuality.

I’m trying to prove something.

Humans are peaceful, not harmless

If you are unable to fight you are not peaceful, you are harmless. Only when you have the capacity for violence and yet choose not to use it are you truly peaceful. This is an important lesson learned when humans encounter aliens who have never met a species like them before.

The new species to enter into negotiations with the Trade Federation were not wholly unlike many others.

They travelled in groups and were highly social, an important trait where cooperation was agreed as a universal requirement to gain technological advancement.

When the Ambassador and their entourage arrived they gave their official designation name to be Human and their planet of origin Earth, a word which our translators seem to think means something like ‘fertile ground’.

With the Ambassador came the priests, at least or so we thought. They carried talismans and wore ornate clothing, speaking little, and behaving in accordance with strict hierarchy, just like the monks of the ancient worlds. It spoke to us of a thoughtful and careful people, certainly the Ambassador consulted frequently with the senior priestess known by her title of General.

Our chosen negotiation centre was the planetoid of Jaril, close enough to Human territory to not put them too far out of their way and yet also not too far for us. We hoped it would become a good neutral trade site once we discovered what we held in common.

The grave mistake of ours was to assume it was also a site far enough from the Tarma for them to not take an interest. The Tarma are an unusual species in that they are evolved from apex predators, a situation we thought impossible until they first burst into our territory. What form of predator is social and cooperative enough to advance? It turns out some apex predators turn spare time between hunts into complex mating rituals requiring feats of intellect and ingenuity, for which family groups will band together to get the best bloodlines.

Still, the Tarma are a huge problem when most of us are the survivors of prey ancestors whose cooperation was essential to survival from predation.

When their ships were spotted we prepared to do as we have always done, to retreat and reconvene in a safer location at a later date.

Then the human Ambassador turned to the General and said, “I believe this is where I hand over to you.”

The General bared her teeth in the most disconcerting way as she smiled. “I believe it is.”

Before we could begin our evacuation, the human priests did what we at first mistook for a starburst escape. We were horrified when their tiny ships navigated towards the Tarma, we thought they were about to be slaughtered.

The Tarma were no more prepared for what happened next than we were.

The Human Ambassador was not travelling with priests, he was travelling with warriors. I will swear on my herd’s life, I saw the most peaceful and reserved creatures turn from monk to exterminator in moments and I was thoroughly shocked to my core.

In less than a Human hour the Tarma had fled and the General calmly returned command to the Ambassador.

“But, we thought you were a peaceful people.” My diplomacy, I fear, suffered for the stress of the situation.

“We are.” the Ambassador reassured us. “We come in peace to trade, to explore, and to learn. We mean no harm to anyone who does no harm to us.”

“How can you claim to be harmless when you did that?” I gestured to the debris still visible from the viewing window.

“If I may.” the General spoke softly. “We stated from the start we are a peaceful species, perhaps you simply mistranslated the meaning of our words. We are not evolved from prey, nor from apex predators. We are from a place in the middle, we are the hunted and the hunter. You mistook us for a harmless species, when in fact we can do a great deal of harm, we simply choose to reciprocate peace.”

We have a new and powerful ally now.

A species willing to trade combat for peace.

Snippet of a thing im not going to finish:

Obi-wan and Anakin meet Jango years before cannon. Jango is on a Job for Dooku. Ani and Obi are on a mission to help a tiny moon celebrate a holiday. Of course it all goes wrong and the crash into Jango during their escape, Anakin may accidently kidnap him thinking its a rescue. One thing leads to another and they go on a roadtrip to kill a sith.

"My mom is the best!" Anakin gushed. "She raised me all on her own as a slave. Managed to help start an underground railroad for escaped slaves. And saved 2 jedi all on her own."

Jango nodded. He liked the sound of Shmi Skywalker. Couldn't wait to meet her. Curiously he turned to the third person in their impromptu team up. The redheaded jedi. Who so far had been quietly working away on a plan for their roadtrip to murder a sith.

"What about your parents?" Jango asked. He may as well. He'd already shared information about his buir.

"Hmm? Oh they sold me to slavers when I was 2. Not sure what they're doing now." He answered absently. Voice calm and disinterested.

A loud crash broke the following silence. "What?!" Anakin exclaimed having dropped the small deactivator he was working on for the clone slave chips. "Your parents sold you?!"

Obi-wan finally looked up from his pad. Looking a bit confused. "The jedi found me a few months later. I don't even remember any of it. There's no need to be upset about the past Ani."

Jango bit back his scathing response to that. "What planet are you from?" He asks. Though he's got a good idea. Redheads were pretty sparce in the galaxy. Only coming from a few mostly insular planets. It would also explain why Jango's first urge when meeting had not been to kill the annoying man, but to get him away from danger.

"Stewjon." He answers. No sign of him understanding the implications of what sitting a few feet from a mandalorian means for him.

Jango resist the urge to groan. Of course he would meet the 1 Stewjoni who didn't know about the Call. And he was a kriffing Jedi of all things.

Anakin nearly chokes on his own gasp as he of all people realizes what's going on. The teens eyes snap to Jango and he stabs a finger at him. "I'll toss you out the airlock. I swear to the force. Don't you even-"

"I wasn't!" Jango snaps. He is not getting threatened by some baby jedi. Not even if part of him is crowing with excitement at being so close to one of his people. Jedi or not the redhead belonged to his people. To the Mand'alor.

"Sorry. What's going on?" Obi-wan demands. Scowling at the other two men.

"Everyone's joke about you being mando bait is more literal than previously thought." Anakin answers before Jango can. "You're not allowed be be alone with Jango anymore." He puffed up when Obi-wan snorted in response.

"Anakin-"

"He has a right to be worried. Though I have more control over myself than he thinks, others might not." Jango cut in.

Obi-wan frowned. Looking between them. "I think you may need to explain."

More fake screenshots for my fic Interviews with the Jedi Order

Anakin requests hard copies of his casualty reports after every campaign. Rex hand-delivers them and watches the General disappear into his quarters - it will take him 20-30 minutes before he’s ready to transmit anything to the council or senate. For two years, Rex doesn’t think much of the little routine.

Then the Resolute is ambushed during Skywalker’s prep time. The General bursts out of his quarters and asks Rex to finish up the transmission while he joins the dogfight outside.

On his desk, the casualty report. Beside each CT number on the list, in bunched, angular handwriting, is each clone’s name. This is the sheet going straight to the senate - perhaps the only legal document on which their actual names would ever be found. Skywalker immortalizing them in the only way he can.

Rex completes the list in his own sharp scrawl. It sends successfully, and he and the General never discuss it. But when he can, Rex hangs in the hall outside Skywalker’s quarters after delivering the reports, guarding the sacred space. It’s never lost on him - this may be the closest thing to a funeral the fallen 501st will get.

Obi-Wan sometimes forgets that Anakin and Ahsoka are not younglings anymore.

Like, during the war, when it just started and he and Anakin were only getting used to it, Anakin would often fall asleep while he was writing reports. And Obi-Wan would just pick him up to carry him to his room and Anakin would wrap all his limbs around him and cling to him like a monkey.

When Obi-Wan picks up Ahsoka for the first time, she sprawls all over him and snores into his neck.

And he gets some side-looks at first, the clones are surprised to see such displays between their Jedi. But Obi-Wan just smiles and keeps going, shifting Anakin a little so his neck won't hurt when he wakes up.

And then he starts doing it to the clones as well.

One day he randomly found a clone sleeping in the hall and picked him up, armor and weapons and all, and brought him to the barracks. The men who were there at the time almost fainted when their General strolled in casually and asked where was their brother's bunk.

No one believes them then they later speak about it in the mess hall.

Cody almost has a heart attack the first time he sees it happen. Like, this is his superior officer, his General, the High General of the GAR and the member of the Jedi Council carrying one of his man bridal stile!

It was pretty early into the war and Cody was serving under Obi-Wan's command for only a couple of months, so he was absolutely certain he would hear at least some comment or even an order to punish the man. After all, he must have fallen asleep on duty.

But there's nothing.

Obi-Wan didn't even mention it. He just smiled at the clone the next time he saw him and asked if he was getting enough sleep now.

It just keeps happening. The war is ruthless, after all.

Obi-Wan carries Anakin, Ahsoka and the clones all around the ship to get them to comfortable sleeping places. Everyone get used to it fast. Some clones even make it a competition to fall asleep in the weirdest places to see if Obi-Wan would find them.

He does, every time.

The clones get comfortable around Obi-Wan very fast, seeing that he's not exactly what the Kaminoans promised them the Jedi would be. Sure, he's calm and wise and very nice and absolutely terrifying with his lightsaber but he's also kind and warm and friendly. They joke with him, even tease him. He smiles and returns the favor. And then Wooley accidently calls Obi-Wan 'Dad' after receiving an order.

Anakin thinks it's hilarious and teases them both. Until Obi-Wan reminds him how he called Master Yoda 'Grandpa'.

That shuts him up.

But soon after, Obi-Wan randomly drops adoption papers on the table in the middle of the briefing and says that he signed them already and everyone who wants can do the same, they just need to write their name in and it's done.

That's how he adopts the whole 212th except Cody, who looks him dead in the eye and asks him out.

He says yes.

And since the 212th now are considered Stewjoni, the rest of the clones get the citizenship automatically as they're all family.

Anakin sulks and doesn't talk to Obi-Wan for a week until a very confused Ahsoka asks him why.

"No, I'm very glad that our men have rights now, but he didn't even ask me if I wanted to be adopted too! I didn't even know the Jedi were allowed to do it."

"But he adopted you like, ten years ago?"

"WHAT"

"Oh, he asked me a few weeks after I became your Padawan if I wanted to become your sister too. I said yes, by the way."

Which leads to this-

"Why didn't you tell me you adopted me!"

"But I told you, remember, after our second swimming lesson?"

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING"