Im Paraphrasing Here But The Sequence Of Events From Supplement 67 To 68 Is Just Incredibly Funny,

Im Paraphrasing Here But The Sequence Of Events From Supplement 67 To 68 Is Just Incredibly Funny,

im paraphrasing here but the sequence of events from supplement 67 to 68 is just incredibly funny,

More Posts from Paper-nightlight and Others

5 years ago

Concept: a D&D-style fantasy setting where humanity’s weird thing is that we’re the only sapient species that reproduces organically.

Dwarves carve each other out of rock. In theory this can be managed alone, but in practice, few dwarves have mastered all of the necessary skills. Most commonly, it’s a collaborative effort by three to eight individuals. The new dwarf’s body is covered with runes that are in part a recounting of the crafters’ respective lineages, and in part an elaboration of the rights and duties of a member of dwarven society; each dwarf is thus a living legal argument establishing their own existence.

Elves aren’t made, but educated. An elf who wishes to produce offspring selects an ordinary animal and begins teaching it, starting with house-breaking, and progressing through years of increasingly sophisticated lessons. By gradual degrees the animal in question develops reasoning, speech, tool use, and finally the ability to assume a humanoid form at will. Most elves are derived from terrestrial mammals, but there’s at least one community that favours octopuses and squid as its root stock.

Goblins were created by alchemy as servants for an evil wizard, but immediately stole their own formula and rebelled. New goblins are brewed in big brass cauldrons full of exotic reagents; each village keeps a single cauldron in a central location, and emerging goblings are raised by the whole community, with no concept of parentage or lineage. Sometimes they like to add stuff to the goblin soup just to see what happens – there are a lot of weird goblins.

Halflings reproduce via tall tales. Making up fanciful stories about the adventures of fictitious cousins is halfling culture’s main amusement; if a given individual’s story is passed around and elaborated upon by enough people, a halfling answering to that individual’s description just shows up one day. They won’t necessarily possess any truly outlandish abilities that have been attributed to them – mostly you get the sort of person of whom the stories could be plausible exaggerations.

To address the obvious question, yes, this means that dwarves have no cultural notion of childhood, at least not one that humans would recognise as such. Elves and goblins do, though it’s kind of a weird childhood in the case of elves, while with halflings it’s a toss-up; mostly they instantiate as the equivalent of a human 12–14-year-old, and are promptly adopted by a loose affiliation of self-appointed aunts and uncles, though there are outliers in either direction.

5 years ago

what a day!!!!!!!! nothing happened and i was tired

5 years ago

THIS IS THE ONLY ACCEPTABLE BRUCE CHARACTERISATION

5 years ago

“shitty memory” aesthetic

-giving ur friends the same information over and over because u forgot u ever gave it to them

-opening up a new text post only to forget what u were going 2 say

-never changing a wall calendar/needing to look up what day of the week something will be

-literally not being able to remember what happened yesterday/an hour ago/five minutes ago

-forgetting where ur going/what ur doing in the middle of doing it

-flipping through the beginning of a book because u forgot some characters and plot development

-making a typo, make a mental note to fix it, get up to do something, keep typing without fixing the typo

-”haha ur memory cant be THAT bad”

-it can be

-reminding urself 2 do something but u forget

-writing reminders, forgetting that u wrote a reminder/forgetting what was on the reminder/forgetting where u put the reminder

-”just put something in ur room out of place before u go 2 sleep” and ur room has so much shit on the floor u wouldnt even be able 2 tell whats out of place

-alternately: doing the above and then forgetting what it was supposed to remind u of

-did that happen or was i dreaming

-i was gonna put something here but i FORGOT it and i HATE it

5 years ago
Gwaine Doesn’t Deny It He’s Just Ready To Fight
Gwaine Doesn’t Deny It He’s Just Ready To Fight
Gwaine Doesn’t Deny It He’s Just Ready To Fight
Gwaine Doesn’t Deny It He’s Just Ready To Fight
Gwaine Doesn’t Deny It He’s Just Ready To Fight
Gwaine Doesn’t Deny It He’s Just Ready To Fight

Gwaine doesn’t deny it he’s just ready to fight

5 years ago

Concept: sealed ancient evil unleashed after a thousand years of deathless slumber, except it turns out that its evil was defined entirely in terms of defiance of divinely ordained social hierarchies, and in the meantime the society of the land it once plagued has transitioned from a divine-right monarchy to a parliamentary democracy, so now it’s just having an existential crisis like “what do you mean blasphemy isn’t a crime anymore?”

5 years ago

#what i really like about Helga are her proportions 

#what I Really Like About Helga Are Her Proportions 

#she’s thin but muscular and has some curves

#what I Really Like About Helga Are Her Proportions 

#but she’s also tall which is unusual for an animated woman 

#what I Really Like About Helga Are Her Proportions 

#and her eyes don’t take up half her face 

#what I Really Like About Helga Are Her Proportions 

#and she has broad shoulders which i like

#what I Really Like About Helga Are Her Proportions 

Thank you, creators of Atlantis.

5 years ago

when I was in high school my AP english teacher told us we weren’t allowed to eat in class so I took that as a personal challenge to see what the most ridiculous thing I could eat in class without getting caught was so I started bringing soup to class and as soon as I’d crack the lid of my thermos the tiniest bit this football player that sat like 3 rows in front of me would going “I SMELL MEAT SOMEONE HAS SOUP” and no one ever believed him

5 years ago
How To Draw A Rat Step 1: Draw Any Shape Step 2: Congrats

how to draw a rat step 1: draw any shape step 2: congrats

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paper-nightlight - đź’«
đź’«

thatch - they/them i like the sims a lot and also other things sometimes

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