No One Else Thinks It's Disturbing?

What does it take to get someone to willingly escape from abuse? Two days ago, I got a cryptic text from a friend using a wifi text app that just said “I need you to text me back asap.” I can’t have my phone at work and didn’t see it for almost eight more hours. Tried texting her normal number. Nothing. Tried the texting app number. Nothing. Tried her facebook. Account deactivated. Wtf is going on here? Wake up two hours before alarm worrying and check phone. Still nothing. So, middle of the night, 18-ish hours from last contact, I call the police. Deputies go to her home. No one there. She has a medical condition that physically prevents her from sleeping without medication. She doesn’t get home from work until about midnight. It was 1:30 am. There’s no reason she wouldn’t be home and awake. Police tell me no contact. Trying not to freak out all through work that day. Get home. Still nothing. Checked with police. No contact. No answer from phone. About to go into panic mode. Conduct basic-level facebook stalking: Open fake account, find her account reopened (only certainly blocking real account). Has where she works posted (lucky break, but so so stupid). Call where she works in last ditch effort to make contact. She’s there. There and physically okay. Her fat fuck, red neck, piece of shit, white trash, caliphate-dick-sucking husband got mad she talked to any other men (i.e. myself). Forcefully took her phone from her for almost 24 hours. Blocked numbers of every other guy on her phone, blocked male Facebook friends, then changed her social media accounts’ passwords. Well, that explains what happened. At least she was physically fine? Talk to her for a bit to make absolutely sure. She swears up and down everything is okay. I want to scream at her. All I could do is say “Stay safe” and tell her I’d let the police know I’d gotten a hold of her. Likely last time we’ll ever talk to each other. Tell police we spoke. Police make sure to ask “You actually spoke directly to her on the phone?” Tell them about abusive husband. Deputy feels for the situation but knows she’s the only one who can do anything for herself. Guess this problem is kind of solved... Back to normal life? What the fucking hell is wrong with some people? Her own husband’s sister thinks he’s a piece of shit for how he treats her. Her mother (after learning what kind of shitstain he is) wants her to move back home. Her cousin and his wife want her out. And I, the only friend she was actually comfortable enough to talk to about this, have offered money, shelter, resources, time, anything I could. All she has to do is make the move. But she won’t. She thinks so little of herself, her own abilities, and those of us who’ve promised support that she’d rather stay with a fucking shitstack whom she has openly acknowledged abuses her. Guess I’m fucking useless after all.

What are you doing to catch it?

Maybe it's because I was sick today, but my confusion between a couple coworkers came out as racist, apparently. I'm at my desk, there's a little cabinet behind me and slightly off to the right. I turn to my left and see a pair of shoes attached to some legs out of the corner of my eye, but that's it. Now, in my mind the only person who could be sitting there was the same coworker who always sits there. I turn back to my desk, then turn around fully a minute later: It's not the coworker I thought. I must have looked really confused because they looked at me weird. I said I mixed up the coworker behind me with the other one (who was sitting a bit further away). It was like when you don't put your keys in the same spot just one time, and you completely forget where you put them. I'm also a bit slow... Now, they may have been kidding with me when I told them why I got really confused, but I got the feeling they seriously thought I was being racist. I hate it when people even joke about that kind of thing with me. It's not really funny. They're both awesome, and I like them; but, I will feel pretty bad if getting mixed up made that impression....

Sometimes I feel like messaging someone because I think their blog is cool. Then, I wonder, "Why bother?" Not like it makes much of a difference to anyone. There's so much hate and garbage being thrown at anyone who posts an opinion or pictures they immediately assume you want something from them when you send a message. Apparently, no one does anything in this world if there's no immediate material or sexual profit. Guess some of us just like to see the world burn by saying or doing something nice without expecting anything for it. But at this point, I won't even bother with that anymore. All that's ever returned is suspicion or some awkward response.

Bored, bored, bored

No one would even notice I was gone.

Even though it was four years since the breakup on Christmas Day, I can still say it'd take all my strength to not expend every round of ammunition I own into your face, you cheating, psychopathic, manipulating, pathological liar. There is no depth to my level of hatred for you, and even if I was sent to the Seventh Circle of Hell, I'd still laugh because I know you'd be in the Ninth where you belong.

It sucks being small. No one takes you seriously.